prismaticbleed: (Default)
 

LAST UPDATED:
021822

------‐-----------------------------------------------------------------------

(only include Nousfoni I have ACTIVELY seen alive AND/OR interacted with, after the "system failure" of 2018?)

⭐The REASON why the innerworld kept collapsing is because ANYTHING NOT BUILT ON CHRIST WILL INEVITABLY BE DESTROYED, often by itself!!!
So if something is gone, GOOD RIDDANCE! Let it go!!

"REALMS" rename?
RELICS per color, mysteries of the Rosary, sacramentals, etc.?
PALM, OLIVE, CEDAR, CYPRESS

Colors CORRESPOND TO CHRIST & HIS CHURCH!!!
⭐SOLID DISTINCTION between LIGHT & PIGMENT! BUT there CAN be pigmented nousfoni OF Spectral hues?? Like the Retributors who are still RED?

FRUITS OF THE HOLY SPIRIT???

TYPE THROUGH YOUR ANGER ISSUES KIDDO.
FIND THE ROOTS SO WE CAN TRANSMUTE THE PLANTS!!

⭐https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/2123163/jewish/The-Beast-Within.htm

------‐------------------------------------------------------------------------


RED (LIGHT)
PRECIOUS BLOOD
THERE IS A CONVENT!!!

ASSOCIATIONS:
Blood

SCENTS:
Cinnamon, blood

REALM:
Currently a neon-lit night city; empty and on the outskirts-- allegedly the center is a collapeed ruin? Nier vibes there. General retrowave punky vibes. Sky is a red grid over black.

MEMBERS:
• SCALPEL
• RAZOR
• BATTA

VERMILION (PIGMENT)
THE SCOURGING???

ASSOCIATIONS:


VIBE:
Hearth & home, hearty laughter, fireplaces

SCENTS:
Spiced rum, autumn leaves,

REALM:


MEMBERS:
• ALGORITH
• PHLEGMONI
• "MANTIS"

ORANGE (LIGHT)
???

ASSOCIATIONS:


VIBE:
Going out with friends, sunny laughter,

SCENTS:
Oranges,

REALM:


MEMBERS:
• LYNNE???

AMBER (PIGMENT)
...

ASSOCIATIONS:


VIBE:
Confident amicability,

SCENTS:


REALM:


MEMBERS:
• GENESIS

YELLOW (LIGHT)
The Resurrection???

ASSOCIATIONS:


VIBE:
Laughing children, playfulness,

SCENTS:
Lemons, pineapple,
Daffodils? Daisies?

REALM:


MEMBERS:
• .

LIME (PIGMENT)
...

ASSOCIATIONS:


VIBE:


SCENTS:
Limes, fresh cut grass, fields in summer

REALM:


MEMBERS:
• CELEBI


GREEN (LIGHT)
...

ASSOCIATIONS:
Forests

VIBE:
Calmness,

SCENTS:
Forests

REALM:


MEMBERS:
• .

AQUA (PIGMENT)
...

ASSOCIATIONS:


VIBE:
Reflectiveness with a touch of sorrow,

SCENTS:
Sea water

REALM:


MEMBERS:
• CHAOS ZERO

CYAN (HIDDEN)
...

ASSOCIATIONS:


VIBE:


SCENTS:


REALM:


MEMBERS:
• .

BLUE (LIGHT)
MARY!!!!

ASSOCIATIONS:
Computers,

VIBE:


SCENTS:


REALM:


MEMBERS:
• .

SAPPHIRE (PIGMENT)
...

ASSOCIATIONS:


VIBE:


SCENTS:


REALM:


MEMBERS:
• .

INDIGO (LIGHT)
...

ASSOCIATIONS:
Snow, churches,

VIBE:
Solemn introspection,

SCENTS:
Incense

REALM:
Prague at dawn? Snowy, overcast, but bright. Old architecture.

MEMBERS:
• Leon

VIOLET (LIGHT)
...

ASSOCIATIONS:


VIBE:
Holy purposefulness?

SCENTS:


REALM:


MEMBERS:
• Laurie?

PURPLE (PIGMENT)
THE PURPLE CLOAK
LENT

ASSOCIATIONS:


VIBE:


SCENTS:


REALM:


MEMBERS:
• .

PINK (HIDDEN)
...

ASSOCIATIONS:
Floral sweetness, roses,


VIBE:


SCENTS:


REALM:


MEMBERS:
• JULIE
• KNIFE

CERISE (PIGMENT)
...

ASSOCIATIONS:
Sensuality,

VIBE:


SCENTS:
Raspberries, 'sugared' tones,

REALM:


MEMBERS:
• .

BROWN (HIDDEN)
...

ASSOCIATIONS:


VIBE:


SCENTS:
Wood, coffee, dirt,

REALM:


MEMBERS:
• SPICE

BLACK (HIDDEN)
...

ASSOCIATIONS:


VIBE:
Gravity,

SCENTS:


REALM:


MEMBERS:
• INFINITII
• SHARONA

GRAY (HIDDEN)
...

ASSOCIATIONS:


VIBE:
Business, formality

SCENTS:


REALM:


MEMBERS:
• .

WHITE (HIDDEN)
...

ASSOCIATIONS:
Prisms,

VIBE:


SCENTS:


REALM:


MEMBERS:
• .


GOLD (METALLIC)
...

ASSOCIATIONS:


VIBE:


SCENTS:


REALM:


MEMBERS:
• SHIRLEY

SILVER (METALLIC)
...

ASSOCIATIONS:


VIBE:
Cool yet kind,

SCENTS:


REALM:


MEMBERS:
• SIRIUS

COPPER (METALLIC)
...

ASSOCIATIONS:
Pennies,

VIBE:


SCENTS:
Copper,

REALM:


MEMBERS:
• PENNY





https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Improvised_weapon#Examples

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lists_of_weapons

https://www.kageninjagear.com/ninja-weapon-cat-hands/





------‐--------------------------------------------------------------------------

COREGROUP SPECTRUM???

BECAUSE IT REALLY SHOULD ADHERE TO THAT!!!

⭐DOUBLES ON COLORS RELATING TO SPECIES???


RED =

VERMILION = PHLEGMONI

ORANGE =

AMBER = GENESIS

YELLOW =

LIME = CELEBI

GREEN = JENA???

AQUA = CHAOS ZERO

CYAN = DORI???

BLUE = RYOU?

INDIGO = MARKUS?

VIOLET = LAURIE

PURPLE = TOSHI???

PINK =

CERISE = VENTRIUM???

GRAY = GLEAM???

BLACK = INFI??

WHITE = JESUS (PRISM)

BROWN = 
prismaticbleed: (Default)

core names; trying to find resonances. follow every intuitive pull

BELL
ARGOS?
AMOR?
JOYEAUX?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the real "core" (cor) is the one who is a MANIFESTATION OF LOVE.

wedding bells/ cakes/ outfits, gold & white, easter lilies, etc. sunlight and spring air.
NEW LIFE in a non-procreative way.

BLACK is "generative" life. black is natal darkness??? but NON-BIOLOGICAL; cosmic.
RED is also somehow tied to this?? through BLOOD. life as essence, as force.

actual "life birth" still feels PINK.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PREVIOUS CORE VIBES:

1. Christmas? Lights, ornaments, peppermint & cinnamon, hearths, wreaths, etc. Warmth against chill. Golden overtone? Reddish tint.
2. Ice, snow, mint, cold. Slightly melancholic? Heartache, can be bitter yet hopeful?
3. Glitter, iridescence, refracted light, harps,
4. Gas masks, glitch music, cyberpunk aesthetic? Mantises?
5. Rap music, graffiti aesthetic, cities, "gang" fashion
6. Suits? Classy, formal, refined.
7. Stained glass, churches, incense smoke, hymns. Choral music.
8. Easter?
9.
10.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WHITE-HAIRED "SOCIAL GROUP" THAT DEFAULTS TO JAY:

1. Guy who keeps fronting at home, "knows the right thing to say," witty and clever but doesn't actually feel anything. Can "read the mood" fairly well? "Life of the party" guy. CURRENTLY INCAPABLE OF SADNESS/ ANGER/ LOVE; all are "deep" emotions that he is "not allowed to feel" due to having to be "fun and easily stomached" in public.
??? vibes

2. Guy at the bank? Business + "I'm harmless, trust me," friendly. Honest, goal-oriented, warm. Still trying to "prove" that he has no ulterior motives.
YELLOW/AMBER vibes

3. Guy at the stores, that keeps trying to "bend the rules" of prices? Responds to JAYCE. Has the same "I'm harmless" social response but it's dishonest; he KNOWS he did something "disapprovable" but doesn't want to admit or even consider that it's WRONG. So he acts amiable and trustworthy even as he feels the nervous guilt as he lies about how many bunches of cilantro we're actually purchasing.
Main motive is "survival" but "not hurting anyone directly in the process." Fails to consider spiritual harm, economic loss harm, etc.
??? vibes

4. Guy that types? Cold. No emotions at all. Just entering data. NOT the A.P. though!! This guy has a sense of self, but it's bitter?
??? vibes

5. Guy that was doing the personality quizzes? Cold fire. Angry, obsessed with "understanding," gets furious when people interrupt. May have glasses?
??? vibes

6. "Valentine's day" Jay. Loves glitter, candy pink hearts, etc. NOT "KAWAII" VIBE.
PINK vibes?

7. "Monster flirt" Jay. NOT the above guy. Flirty, but incapable of deep emotions, conversations, or an actual committed relationship. Exists only to acknowledge attraction? No aesthetic that we can catch, other than being drawn to monsters & such.
??? vibes

8. ???

-----------------------------------

WHICH CORE(s)…
  • identified as a flower mantis?
  • ran the "crystalteeth" blog?
  • was in love with Toshinsei?
  • was first obsessed with progressive rock?
------------------------------------

IS MY "NEW" CORE COLOR SOULFIRE????????

prismaticbleed: (Default)


DATES THAT PEOPLE FIRST EVIDENCED ON

 

1995-1999

JULIE= unknown date, approximately 1997

JEZEBEL= 1997, unknown date

 

2000

JEWEL LIGHTRAYE= spring 2000

 

2001

CEL= March 2001

 

2003

RYMAN= January 2003? or late 2002

WALDORF= March 3rd 2003

MARKUS= May 2003?

HOSEKI= May 21st 2003?

CHAOS= December 2003?

 

2004

"THIRD JEWEL"= March 2004?

 

2005

GENESIS= July 4th 2005 (Leo)

 

2006

SPINNINGCANNON?

JENNIFER= August 2006?

LAURIE= September 4th 2006

 

2007

NATHANIEL= unknown date 2007

JEMMA= unknown date 2007

 

2008 (first major headspace year)

LYNNE= February 8th 2008?

CANNON= May 15th 2008??

RAZOR= October 19th? 2008

 

2009

SECOND "CEL"

SPINZOR= August 2009?

GLISSANDO= September 2009

 

2010

LEON= April 18th 2010

THE BEAR= June 2nd 2010

SPINE= July 26th 2010

PINSTRIPE= August 5th 2010

JOSEPHINA= August 13th 2010

 

2011

XENOPHON= March 13th 2011

EROS= December 9th 2011

 

2012

AIRPORT= August 15th 2012

EMMETT= October 25th? 2012

 

2013 (the year the Underground opened up)

KYANOS= February 26th 2013

INFINITII= April 3rd 2013

GENT= April 19 2013?

MAVERICK= April 19 2013?

QUEEN=April 19 2013?

DAVID= April 23 2013

MARIGOLD= April 23 2013

MULBERRY= May 1st 2013

MINTY= May 30th 2013

CHRISTINA MARIE= June 2013?

JEREMIAH= June 6th 2013

KNIFE= June 12th 2013

OVERLOAD= June 12th 2013

HYAKINTH= June 14th 2013

JAVIER= July 1st 2013

ZWEI= July 15th 2013?

EINSATZ= July 15th 2013

SUGAR= July 22nd 2013

SERGEI= July 23rd 2013

DREAD= July 25th 2013

ALGORITH= July 31st 2013

SPICE= September 18th 2013

JAY= October 21st 2013?

AIMEE= October 29th 2013

AMARA= October 29th 2013

KALISHA= November 17th 2013

ISADORA= November 17th 2013

GARRISON= November 17th 2013

DREAD= December 10th 2013?

SHERLOCK= found his name in 2013

THE SCIENTIST

SHARONA

ANNA

HATCHET?

 

2014

KARISSA= January 25th 2014

THE DESTROYER= January 25 2014

ASHEN= January 25th 2014

NIENNA= March 2014?

TOBIKO= March 2nd 2014

WRECKAGE= March 4th 2014

JABBERWOCK= May 29th 2014

CHOCOLOCO= September 12th 2014

TIGERLILY= December 27th 2014???

 

2015

so far this year it's just been re-finding older people.

 

"BAT EARS"=

MOXIE=

 

2016

(hard reset)

 

2017

HARMONIA= May??

ISCAH=

SPIKE=

KITTY=

CRIER=

CAKE=

AXIS=




-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

AUGUST 2013 WAS THE "DEAD MONTH"

julie/ sergei/ infinitii infant genocide shutdown.

jewel and the ap fronted for almost that entire month; NO MEMORY

 

august 6th, rescue with infi, glasses, chthonic magma zone.

august 28th was ecclesioumon

 

by september 1st, the underground was HUGELY PREVALENT, actually becoming in control of the entire system temporarily.

this was when knife ran the show, started trying to organize everyone in all the other levels.

very very very important for long term growth actually, thank him

 

however the first two weeks of december were fronted by someone who kept actively trying to deny headspace.

"the past isn't relevant" and "I want to abandon all this at once" were the main mindsets.

 

september 11th was the punchcard dream

september 12th, "j" said that headspace was not gone, BUT that "most of us were dead or gone". we also got our diagnosis.

ALSO said "I no longer have a solid identity so it's near impossible for me to enter headspace"

 

SPICE'S AUDIO RECORDINGS WERE ON SEPTEMBER 18TH.

at that time, no one knew who the core was, most of us were still dead.

 

SEPTEMBER 21ST WAS WHEN I SAVED INFI FROM THE TAR SPIDER.

I DO NOT directly remember it though, just very blurry awareness that I was there.

thus started the madeleine l'engle period!

 

sept 23rd was woodsmoke, sept 24th was knife in the mall. that was also the proginoskes time period. NO PERSONAL MEMORY.

sept 25 was a JULIE HACK, retributors smudging the entire room.

sept 28th was INFI AND LAURIE in lou's house.

 

OCTOBER 2ND: "THE CURRENT J DOESN'T KNOW CHAOS. NONE OF US DO"

OCTOBER 4TH: "I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO JAY; I THINK HE'S LONG GONE"

october 5th was the caliborn baby dream. I remember that?

october 7th was the desk cellar fear?

 

october 8th was mesita's album, AND sergei and hyakin calling me to diamew! FIRST TOTALLY CONCRETE MEMORY DAY!!

also important, I remember the ENDING of "many waters," standing by the stove, BUT NOT THE PREVIOUS TWO BOOKS!!

 

october 21st was the apples AND the yogurt shop.

I WAS DEFINITELY, TOTALLY ALIVE BY THIS POINT.

 

BIRTHDAYS SHOULD BE ON SIGNIFICANT DATES, NOT ARBITRARY ONES. FIND YOURS.



------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Spine Hypomone= "steadfast endurance"

Javier Anastasi = "resurrection"

Algorith=

Lynne Stabelle= "stability"

Josephina Bellameire= "beautiful/ one who shines"

Cel???

Nathaniel Victoire= "victory, conqueror"

???=

Harmonia=

Chaos Zefirum= "zero"

Waldorf Kalliope= "muse of epic poetry"

Leon Kiasi= "fear of death"

Laurie Uberich= "above self/ ultimate self"

Julie Enantios= "opposite"

Eros=

Jay Iridos= "iridescent/ two"

Infinitii Eternos= "eternity"

Sherlock Episteme= "to know"

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Jewel= May 7th 1990 (Taurus)

***2009 WAS NOT ME!!! (as far as Gens go, that was Gamboge)

JAYCE: 02-22-10 WAS WHEN I FIRST STARTED USING MALE PRONOUNS.

April 4th 2010= art of my Gen (ON 08-3-2009, I WAS ALREADY A WHITE GEN???)

STILL NAMED "JEWEL" IN MAY 2010 THOUGH.

July 2nd 2010= "seventy four" // july 10th= razia

BY AUGUST I WAS USING INFLUTUSA (AUG. 5 NAME LOCKED IN)

REDLIGHT: December 9th, 2011 (Sagittarius)

EROS: January 4th 2012 (Capricorn)

 

memory picks up around SEPT-OCT 2013??

RESET ATTEMPT? December 5th 2013 (Sagittarius)

 

Infinitii= April 3rd 2013 (Aries)

DIED/KILLED on following dates:
May 28th (kidnapped, brought underground)

August 1st? ('parasite' threat)

 

Javier= July 1 2013 (still manifesting) (Cancer)

July 28th 2013 (named) (Leo)

December 27th 2013 (resurrected) (Capricorn)

 

Spine= November 26th 2008 (Sagittarius)

FOUND around July 26th 2010 (Leo)

STABILIZED on January 16th, 2011 (Capricorn)

 

Lynne = February 9th 2008? (Aquarius)

First mentioned on February 26th 2008.

THE CONCERT WAS ON APRIL 20TH 2008 (3PM)

"Died" temporarily on April 24th 2008.

RESURRECTED: December 1st 2008?? (Sagittarius)

 

Josephina= July 26th 2010 (Leo)

(met on August 13th, hence his pseudo-birthday)

 

Nathaniel= February 8th 2008 (Aquarius)

December 15th 2008

April 26th, 2009

November 20th, 2009

RESURRECTED: November 18th, 2011

STABILIZED on November 9th 2012 (Scorpio)

 

Waldorf= March 3rd 2003 (there) (Pisces)

December 3rd 2002 (ck)

November 13th 2012

 

Leon= April 18th 2010 (Aries)

RESURRECTED: December 8th, 2010 (Sagittarius)

 

Laurie= September 4th 2006 (Virgo)

 

Julie= August 18th, 2011 (Leo)

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

July 15th 2013= underground handwriting page. Einsatz and Zwei's names found. Einastz also evidenced in the car.

July 25th- mention of dread. may 2 & june 13th first listed. originally said he was a young adult!! fronted with others on dec 10.

 

algorith= November 12th 2013? (Scorpio) OR July 31st 2013 (Leo)

 


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

JAVIER= December 27th 2013 (Capricorn)

ZWEI= July 15th 2013? (Cancer)

RAZOR= October 19h? 2008 (Libra)

CANNON= May 15th 2008?? (Taurus)

DREAD= December 10th 2013? (Sagittarius)

 

SPINE= January 16th 2011 (Capricorn)

AIMEE= October 29th 2013 (Scorpio)

JAYCE= October 23rd 2013 (Libra)

SPICE= September 18th 2013 (Virgo)

THE DESTROYER= January 25 2014 (Aquarius)

JESSICA???= May 7th 1990 (Taurus)

THE BEAR= June 2nd 2010 (Gemini)

 

LYNNE= February 9th 2008? (Aquarius)

KALISHA= November 17th 2013 (Scorpio)

AMARA= October 29th 2013 (Scorpio)

ALGORITH= July 31st 2013 (Leo)

 

JOSEPHINA= July 26th 2010 (Leo)

MARIGOLD= April 23 2013 (Taurus)

SIMEON=

MAVERICK=

RAZWELL=

WRECKAGE= March 4th 2014 (Pisces)

 

KARISSA= January 25th 2014 (Aquarius)

BRIDGET=

 

NATHANIEL= November 18th 2011? (Scorpio)

SERGEI= July 23rd 2013 (Leo)

QUEEN=

 

MINTY= May 30th 2013? (Gemini)

EINSATZ= July 15th 2013 (Cancer)

EMMETT= October 25th? 2012 (Scorpio)

TOBIKO= March 2nd 2014 (Pisces)

GARRISON= November 17th 2013 (Scorpio)

 

KYANOS= February 26th 2013 (Pisces)

PINSTRIPE= August 5th 2010? (Leo)

 

WALDORF= March 3rd 2003 (Pisces)

MISSY= ???

GENT=

NIENNA= 2014

 

LEON= April 18th 2010 (Aries)

DAVID= April 23 2013 (Taurus)

AIRPORT= August 15th 2012 (Leo)

CHURCH?=

 

LAURIE= September 4th 2006

CHRISTINA MARIE= June 2013? ()

ISADORA= November 17th 2013 (Scorpio)

 

JULIE= 199?

SUGAR= July 22nd 2013 (Cancer/Leo)

ASHEN= January 25th 2014 (Aquarius)

KNIFE= June 12th 2013 (Gemini)

 

MULBERRY= May 1st 2013 (Taurus)

JEREMIAH= June 6th 2013 (Gemini)

EROS= December 9th 2011 (Sagittarius)

JABBERWOCK= 2014

 

SHERLOCK= 2013

FOGBANK=

 

JAY=

INFINITII= April 3rd 2013

 

RYMAN=
MARKUS=

CHAOS=

GENESIS= JULY 4TH 2005

XENOPHON= MARCH 13 2011

CELEBI=

JEWEL= MAY 7TH

 



 

 

ARIES

  • Infinitii

  • Leon

  • Cel?

 

TAURUS

  • Jewel?

  • Cannon

  • Marigold

  • David

  • Mulberry

 

GEMINI

  • Minty

  • Jeremiah

  • The Bear

 

CANCER

  • Einsatz

  • Zwei

 

LEO

  • Julie

  • Josephina

  • Sugar

  • Genesis

  • Pinstripe

  • Algorith

 

VIRGO

  • Laurie

  • Spice

 

LIBRA

  • Jay

  • Razor

  • Jayce

 

SCORPIO

  • Nathaniel

  • Garrison

  • Emmett

  • Aimee

 

SAGITTARIUS

  • Leon

  • Eros

  • Dread?

 

CAPRICORN

  • Javier

  • Spine

 

AQUARIUS

  • CZ

  • Ashen

  • The Destroyer

 

PISCES

  • Xenophon

  • Waldorf

  • Tobiko



-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 

 

timeline is largely missing from 1990 -- 2000

 

----------------------------ELEMENTARY SCHOOL-------------------------------------------

+ JEWEL LIGHTRAYE (2000-1)

+ CEL (2001)

+ HOSEKI (2002-3) (FRAGMENTED)

----------------------------high school starts-------------------------------------------

+ "third jewel" (dissolved) (2004-6?)

+ SPINNingcannon (2005-8?)

+ JESSICA (2006+?)

--------------------------------------------JOB STARTS------------------------------------------------

+ Jaqueline (2006+)

+ jennifer (2006+)

--------------------------------UNIVERSITY starts-------------------------------------------

+ CANNON (2008-9)

--------------------------ARTIST BLOODLINE SPLITS OFF------------------------------

+ CEL #2 (2009) (DISSOLVED)

+ Spinzor (2009) (SUMMER ONLY)

+ GLISSANDO (2009) (SUMMER ONLY)

+ "MANIC SPIN" (2009) (dissolved)

+ INK (2010) (UNKNOWN)

-------------------------BLOODLINE SPLITS IN HALF-------------------------------------

+ Pinstripe (2010) (DIED, FRAGMENTED)

-------------------------POST-UTAH SUICIDE ATTEMPT--------------------------------

+ "MALE JEWEL" (2011) (FRAGMENTED)

+ EROS (2012?) (SPLIT IN HALF, RESET)

--------------------------SLC TRIP MEMORY BREAK-------------------------------------

+ DEON (2012-3?) (DIED)

----------------------------------SCRATCH ATTEMPT------------------------------------------

+jay iridos (2013)

----------------------------------MASSACRE IN 2014 ------------------------------------------

+ JEWEL (2000) RETURNS

----------------------------------HARD RESET IN 2016------------------------------------------

+jay iridos (2013) RESTORED; POSSIBLE SURNAME CHANGE?

 

 

SYSTEM NO LONGER APPEARS TO HAVE A SINGLE "CORE"

 

UNKNOWN STATUS IN 2015?




-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------





prismaticbleed: (Default)



  1. WRECKAGE
  2. JAY (ANUBIS/ANGEL)
  3. WATSON
  4. SHINZOU??
  5. KALISHA
  6. CAKE
  7. SIMEON?
  8. JOPHAEL?
  9. NEBISAI
  10. AIMEE
  11. SIREN?
  12. ROXIE
  13. LETHE
  14. SPINE HYPOMONE
  15. JAYCE
  16. OVERLOAD
  17. TRIPLE
  18. BRAXTON
  19. THE DESTROYER
  20. CHOCOLOCO
  21. COCO
  22. JEZEBEL
  23. SPINNY?
  24. ZWEI
  25. JEWEL???
  26. DENDRITE???
  27. JAVIER ANASTASI
  28. DEON
  29. SPINZOR
  30. RUBY? (MANIC RED)
  31. THE STRIPPER?
  32. RORSCHACH?
  33. CANNON
  34. RAZOR
  35. HATCHET
  36. CLEAVER
  37. SCALPEL
  38. DREAD
  39. CRUSADE?
  40. ALTAIRRE?
  41. RUPTURE
  42. JESSE?
  43. ALGORITH
  44. MONTAG
  45. VIXIE
  46. JAMIE
  47. SPICE
  48.  
  49. SUMMER BOY??
  50. CAYENNE
  51. LYNNE STABELLE
  52. HYAKINTH
  53. TIGER LILY?
  54. JASPER?
  55. EXERCISE DUDE
  56. PEACH?
  57. SPIKE
  58. FIG
  59. JUSTICE??
  60. SELIPH??
  61. GENESIS
  62. GAMBOGE?
  63. EPHREM
  64. GRIEVOUS?
  65. PHOENIX
  66. THE MAVERICK
  67. JASON
  68. JOSEPHINA BELLAMEIRE
  69. GALA?
  70. MARIGOLD
  71. MEDALLION?
  72. SYLVAIN
  73. FRENCHIE
  74. RAZWELL
  75. Y?
  76. CELEBI
  77. KARISSA
  78. THE LESBIAN
  79. THE PEDOPHILE
  80. LEENA?
  81. KERRY
  82. "LITTLE BOY"???
  83. CHEMICAL?
  84. ARMY FLOWER???
  85. BRIDGET
  86. JETFIRE
  87. SERGEI
  88. NURSE
  89. JUNIPER
  90. ENYA GIRL??
  91. NATHANIEL VICTOIRE
  92. JASMINE
  93. "LITTLE GIRL"???
  94. BINGE GIRL? (Leena?)
  95. LIBRIS
  96. CELEBI-THORN
  97. TOX
  98. HARMONIA
  99. EMMETT
  100. GARRISON
  101. MINTY
  102. TOBIKO
  103. EINSATZ
  104. QUEEN
  105. DAVY
  106. THE CONDEMNER?
  107. THE LIAR
  108. CHAOS ZERO
  109. PERFECT?
  110. PINSTRIPE?
  111. YB?
  112. KYANOS KATHEDRIKOS
  113. "BAT EARS"
  114. THE MOURNER
  115. MOXIE
  116. MISSY
  117. YOGA GIRL?
  118. MIRROR GIRL?
  119. FREEZE GIRL?
  120. THE FLIRT?
  121. JEMMA
  122. JOSHUA
  123. WALDORF KALLIOPE
  124. NIENNA?
  125. RIO?
  126. PRELUDOVE
  127. DALTON?
  128. THE GENT
  129. AMARA
  130. LEON KIASI
  131. DAVID
  132. INTERIM
  133. GLISSANDO
  134. JESSICA
  135. ACONITUM?
  136. VEIL
  137. BIZ
  138. NEXUS
  139. CHRISTINA?
  140. KAIN?
  141. XENOPHON LEPHISE
  142. LAURIE UBERICH
  143. ISADORA
  144. MARKUS BARASHIR
  145. PATRICIA?
  146. ALDREA
  147. MAITRU
  148. JULIE ENANTIOS
  149. SUGAR
  150. KNIFE
  151. ASHEN
  152. JENNIFER
  153. SPINEL?
  154. WHISKET?
  155. ISCAH
  156. E.D. TALKER?
  157. UNICORN PRINCESS??
  158. (SCHOOLKID JESS)
  159. PTERODACTYL?
  160. EROS
  161. JEREMIAH
  162. MULBERRY DELTA BRANDY
  163. THE JABBERWOCK
  164. LEANNE
  165. AZALEA
  166. JACINTH?
  167. PAINT ROLLER
  168. HOSEKI
  169. CERISE PROTECTOR?
  170. FOGBANK
  171. THE SCIENTIST?
  172. THE ANDROGYNE?
  173. SHERLOCK EPISTEME?
  174. MISTER SANDMAN
  175. QUICKSILVER?
  176. XIPHOID
  177. SILIVREN
  178. IRIDOS
  179. ADAKIAS
  180. CRAZYJAY
  181. DIAMANTE
  182. TRIAD
  183. TILLY
  184. LACE BRAIDS
  185. ICICLE
  186. NILLA
  187. PLAGUE
  188. INFINITII ETERNOS
  189. SHARONA
  190. SPACE MOTHER
  191. TAR
  192. VEZERAI
  193. DEVONAL


    tentative:
    JACQUELINE?
    BRAZEN?
    WILLOW???


    *EATING DISORDER VOICES ARE INCREDIBLY SPECIFIC: SOME CAN ONLY EAT CERTAIN FOODS. THIS IS VITAL TO OUR SURVIVAL!!!


prismaticbleed: (Default)

(LAST UPDATED 080417)

FLOATING VOICES AND OUTSIDE SOCIALS ARE NOT CONSIDERED PART OF THE SPECTRUM.
THEY ARE, HOWEVER, PART OF THE
SYSTEM, AS THEY ARE STILL ALTERS.
CONVERSELY, OUTSPACERS ARE PART OF THE
SPECTRUM, BUT NOT OF THE SYSTEM.

 


SYSTEM CORES ("Hosts")

Individuals who function as the internal "anchorpoint" for the entire System. They are virtually always male-presenting.
Their existence preserves the foundations of the System. They may also be able to do data work for the LeagueWorlds.
They rarely front, being built for internal work, but all can still front whenever they wish.
They have no native level, but they work with Central, and move freely throughout all of headspace.
The current Core is always part of Central. Surviving past Cores may reside on any level they choose.
+jay iridos (CURRENT)

+ CANNON (2008-9)

+ Pinstripe (DIED?) (2010)
+ "MALE JEWEL" [adakias[ (2011)

+ cupid (2012?)

+ DEON? (dIED) (2012-3)



JEWEL CORES
Individuals who are tied to the "Jewel Bloodline" of the System's origin.
They are virtually always female-presenting.
They work almost exclusively with the Leagueworlds, being able to actively exist in them, & managing all our outside creative work.
They have overriding fronting rights and typically are out for extended periods of time.
They do not properly exist in headspace and so have no native level, but they work with Central when needed.
A Jewel Core is rarely, if ever, in headspace. This is what differentiates them from System Cores.

+ JEWEL LIGHTRAYE (2000-1) (CURRENT)
+ HOSEKI (2002-3)
+ "third jewel" (dissolved) (2004-6?)
+ SPINNingcannon (2006-7?)
+ Spinzor (2009) (SUMMER ONLY?)



DRIVERS ("Main Fronters")
Individuals who act as Socials but who function as the "main" INSIDE-ROOTED fronter for a certain time period.
They ideally work to balance the daily existence with internal existence.
They typically have overriding fronting rights, and are almost always out during their respective time periods.
They typically have a vague internal existence, if any, and some do not take their own face or name at first.
They may not gain individuality until after they have "faded" out of main fronting for a significant time period.

Not many Drivers are Cores, but in the past it was typical for several Drivers to share that job to a fair extent.
THEY ARE ALWAYS AWARE OF THE SYSTEM, HOWEVER VAGUELY.
+ OVERLOAD
+ "MANIC SPIN" (dissolved)
+ GLISSANDO? (SUMMER NIGHT ONLY?)

+ JEMMA

 

 

DÆMONS
Tentative category; this phenomenon is being researched.
Individuals who are spiritually bound to "human-base" members of the System (the Cores, some Outspacers), and/or the System subconscious at large.
They act as "shadow complements" to their hosts, being made of the same soulstuff, but holding more dangerous and/or buried characteristics that their host has not accepted or integrated properly.
They are not allowed to front unless given explicit permission to do so both by and along with their host.
They reside in floating space, which has no level. Their movement in structured headspace seems highly limited.
+ INFINITII ETERNOS (Jay)

+ LETHE STYX (RYMAN)

+ MEDALLION GUILLOTINE (MARKUS)
+ DENDRITE (HOSEKI)
+ CHOCOLOCO VANILOCO (JEmma?)

+ axis (jessica)

+nexus (laurie)

+ cake (???)
+ SELIPH? (GENESIS)
+ PERFECT? (CHAOS)



CENTRAL MEMBERS ("Central")
The original "headvoices," and overseers of the entire System.
They deal with inner maintenance, protecting the Cores and actively resisting the Tar/Plague.
They can front whenever they wish, typically for management purposes, but are not triggered.
They reside in Central, but can freely move between levels.

+ JAVIER ANASTASI
+ SPINE HYPOMONE

+ LYNNE STABELLE
+ JOSEPHINA BELLAMEIRE

+ CEL
+ NATHANIEL VICTOIRE

+ CHAOS ZERO

+ KYANOS KATHEDRIKOS
+ WALDORF KALLIOPE
+ LEON KIASI
+ LAURIE UBERICH
+ JULIE ENANTIOS
+ EROS

+ jay iridos

+ SHERLOCK

+ INFINITII ETERNOS



MIDSPACE MEMBERS ("Midspacers")

Individuals who reside in the buildings/streets of Central City, or in the areas outside the City.
They have benevolent "helper" roles, and are not tied to any trauma or triggers.
They are not triggered, and can only front if they are asked to.
They stay in Central City, and only rarely visit Central or the Underground.

+ AIMEE

+ HYAKINTH

+ SERGEI

+ AMARA

 

 

ARCHIVISTS ("Data Voices")
Individuals who tend to 'float' in non-space, without entering the City.
They deal exclusively with data management.
They only front when asked to; otherwise, they guide all other fronters.
They have no native level, but their locations are analogous to Midspace.
+ KALISHA

+ GARRISON

+ ISADORA

+ SHERLOCK


LOWSPACE MEMBERS ("Lowers")
Individuals who reside in the lower streets/ early underground level of Central City.
They deal with holding and healing emotional trauma and triggers.
They front when triggered. Some can front if they wish to.
They reside in both Central City and the Underground, and work with the latter.
+ SPICE

+ MARIGOLD

+ EMMETT

+ DAVID

+ JEREMIAH

 

 

UNDERGROUND MEMBERS ("Undergrounders")
Individuals who reside below Central City, in the catacombs and tunnels.
They deal with inner maintenance, physical atonement, and/or preventing further trauma.
They can front whenever they wish, but may also be triggered, although this is rare.
They reside in the Underground and rarely leave it unless direly needed. They work with Central.

+ RAZOR

+ BRAXTON

+ ALGORITH

+ MINTY
+ CHRISTINA MARIE
+ SUGAR

+ KNIFE

+ MULBERRY DELTA BRANDY



CHTHONIC MEMBERS ("Chthonics")
Individuals who reside below the Underground, in the caverns and pits.
They deal with trauma management, and hold the most pain and fear of anyone else in the System.
They only front when triggered, although most can front whenever they wish as well.
They reside in the bowels of headspace and rarely leave it unless direly needed. They work mainly as rogues.
+ DREAD
+ WRECKAGE
+ TOBIKO
+ ASHEN
+ "JABBERWOCK"

 

 

DOWNSTAIRS MEMBERS ("Socials")
Individuals who exist almost exclusively "in the body," as opposed to in headspace.
They deal with direct aspects of physical life, as opposed to inner life.
This does NOT mean they necessarily socialize.
They front when triggered, and/or when their anchors are sufficiently focused upon.
They have no native inner level as they do not typically reside there, but by default they first appear in Lowspace.
They are different from Drivers in that they are never the "main people" out, and do not speak for the System as such.

+ JAYCE
+ "THE DESTROYER"
+ HATCHET
+ "VICTINI?"

+ ZWEI
+ "EXERCISE GUY"
+ MAVERICK
+ LEENA?
+ QUEEN

+ EINSATZ
+ gent

+ NIENNA
+ "AIRPORT"



OUTSIDE SOCIALS
Individuals who function as OUTSIDE-ROOTED fronters for a certain time period or context.
They exist to "follow a safe script" in the outside world, appearing "normal" and therefore hiding our existence.
They are typically "forced" out to front in social situations, for good or ill, and it is often very hard to get them out.
They do not have
any internal existence, nor do they have their own names (as far as we know).
THYE ARE NORMALLY UNAWARE OF THE SYSTEM. THEY ARE THEREFORE NOT PART OF THE SPECTRUM.
THEY EXIST ONLY TO SOCIALIZE.
OUTSIDE SOCIALS CAN BE EITHER NEGATIVE OR POSITIVE.
+ JESSE?
+ JENNIFER



WRITER "SOCIALS"
Tentative category.
Individuals who only evidence through handwriting or written entries.
They usually have deep insight or knowledge into relevant topics, or may hold exclusive memories that need to be shared.
They do not front unless writing by hand. Otherwise they only channel.
They do not reside on any detectable level that we know of yet.
+ SIMEON



UNASSIGNED/UNSURE
Individuals whose role, functions, levels, etc. are currently unclear to us.
They can be interacted with internally, and therefore are NOT faceless.
Some may ultimately fragment out of existence without gaining solid anchors.
+ RAZWELL

+ GAMBOGE
+ Karissa
+ lEANNE?
+ "VEIL"




FACELESS VOICES
Voices that are internally-based and therefore potential Spectrum holders, who are not clearly perceivable yet.
They may have colors or tentative names, but they
never have faces at this stage.
Faceless voices exist in "floatspace" and
CANNOT be interacted with internally. They CAN be dragged out to front, however.
Faceless voices often fade out of existence without gaining solid anchors.
Faceless voices all deal with the outside world, BUT not all count as "Socials."

FACELESS VOICES CAN BE EITHER NEGATIVE OR POSITIVE.
+ SUMMER BOY?

+ EPHREM
+ MOXIE
+ "BAT EARS"
+ aconitum
+ "THE ANDROGYNE"
+ "LITTLE GIRL"
+ "LOST BOY"




OUTSPACERS ("Walk-ins")
Individuals from media sources or Leagueworlds whose dreamselves have "moved into" our System.
They have no specific System function, but offer their support when able.
They are incapable of fronting. Many of them prefer to "ghost" in physical reality, to help current fronters.
They work with Central when needed.
THEY ARE TECHNICALLY
NOT PART OF THE SYSTEM. THEY MAY NOT BE OFFICIAL PARTS OF THE SPECCTRUM.
+ "GALA"?

+ GENESIS APOLYMIS

+ CHAOS ZERO
+ "DAVY"?

+ RYMAN SAIKARAS

+ MARKUS BARASHIR

+ XENOPHON LEPHISE

 

HONORARY MEMBERS
Individuals from the Leagueworlds who interact with our System regularly/ have interacted with us notably on a benevolent basis.
Most of them know the Jewel Core(s) personally.
Some of them have strong ghosting abilities and will accompany the cores if needed.
THEY DO NOT COUNT AS PART OF THE SYSTEM OR SPECTRUM.
+ HOSEA
+ NEBISAI
+ PSYCHE
+ JUSTICE
+ PRELUDOVE

+ MISTER SANDMAN
+ VEZERAI
+ DEVONAL



CORRUPTED/MALICIOUS

Individuals that have been corrupted by the Tar/Plague, or who work for it/ its mutual goals of their own free will.
They are actively malevolent towards the rest of the System.
They can only front by "hacking."
They have no native level, but seem to stay hidden in the Underground, Chthonic, or "basement" levels.
+ "CLEAVER"?
+ "THE STRIPPER"

+ "MANIC RED"
+ BRAZEN "BAD JESS"
+ ANNA
+ "THE PEDOPHILE???"

+ "THE LESBIAN"

+ BRIDGET
+ JASMINE "THE PAGAN"

+ MISSY
+ "BAD EROs"
+ SHARONA
+ TAR (JEZEBEL)
+ "THE SCIENTIST"
+ "FOGBANK"
+ PLAGUE
+ "LACE BRAIDS"



THERE ARE MANY OTHER UNIDENTIFIED ALTERS IN OUR SYSTEM.
MANY OF THEM DO NOT HAVE INTERNAL ROOTS AND THEREFORE ARE DIFFICULT TO DETECT.

WE ARE SLOWLY FINDING THEM AND LEARNING THEIR FUNCTIONS/ LEVELS/ ETC.
WE WILL UPDATE THIS POST AS ACCURATELY AS POSSIBLE TO REFLECT THIS NEW KNOWLEDGE.

 



prismaticbleed: (Default)


THE PRISMBLOOD CATHEDRAL SYSTEM

~2000-2015+



GENERAL INFORMATION

According to our therapists, we have what is known as Dissociative Identity Disorder. In our terms, this simply means that we are a multitude of individuals all residing within one physical body.
We are an unusual case however, as our System was created specifically to function internally, as this was not only our original core's "default" state of existence, but also because we experienced significant inner trauma more often than we experienced outer trauma. Because of this, most of our members rarely "front" in the body as they have no need to (their roles concern our inner life).
Due to a lack of social interaction, a rather dysfunctional family, and an all-consuming imagination, the original child grew up with a very unusual view of reality, colored by magical thinking and an ignorance of how other, non-troubled individuals functioned. As this way of life did not alter until the body was about 17, our inner world reflects this weird and wonderful perspective.
Our System runs on a set of complex but fantastic rules, which some have compared to an RPG or a video game, but which is honestly how our core individuals see the world. There is a great deal of symbolism here, as well as a great emphasis on the power of thought, and the importance of love. Despite the terrors we have  all experienced, our lives together make a strangely inspiring tapestry of growth and wisdom, a long and arduous tale that ultimately reaches a happiness we once thought unattainable. The often "fantastic" operations of our inner world only serve to compliment that, helping us all believe that nothing is impossible, and that we can all rise above and beyond the painful dregs of fear we were born from.

 


VOCABULARY
We have a large and varied vocabulary of System-related terms that are often confusing or vague to those outside of headspace, or unaware of our structure. Following is an alphabetical list of those terms, with definitions.

active: A term meaning "actively accessible or functioning." Refers to both alters and locations.

alter: Interchangeable with "headvoice."

anchor: The "purpose" of a headvoice, and a requirement for manifestation. Anchors occur when sufficient mental energy is focused on a certain quality or concept that is detached from other System members. This collected energy then coalesces into a headvoice, who then acts as both a protector and manifestation of that concept or quality, which in turn becomes their "function." Anchors can be benevolent or malevolent, and they can change, although this is a difficult process. Anchors will bond to fitting Spectrum colors if and when they become strong or important enough within the System. Also see "function."
anchor, level: The level of headspace that a headvoice typically (or exclusively) lives and works within. This level is determined by function, but is unaffected by color. Level anchors can only change if an alter's function changes accordingly (a rare and difficult process), or if they are promoted to Central.
anchoring: The process of finding, solidifying, or gaining an anchor. Often interchangeable with "manifestation" when the individual anchoring has not had a solid form prior to doing so, and gains one afterward.

archivists: Alters whose function it is to manage and distribute stored memory information to other alters. Originally called "data voices."

atonement: The process of physically scarring the body in order to "bleed out" internal corruption, as is the mandatory post-hack procedure. Atonement began in 2010 when the true motive of hacks was discovered.

atoners: Old name for Retributors.

beetles: Insects first seen in the Chthonic levels, color unknown. They appear to be benevolent, and helped save Infinitii's life.

blackspace: One of the two realms of "raw" headspace; Blackspace deals with organics and the subconscious. It is an unending realm of raw Black energy, effectively the "cosmic womb" that every alter manifests from in both body and mind. Blackspace is "below" the bodymap and so it does not exist in any fixed location, but it can be visited, resembling an endless, liquid black ocean with no surface or walls. It is spherical in form. It cannot be consciously manipulated. Infinitii, and possibly all daemons, are intrinsically linked to this space.

body map: Also "bodymap." The visual correlation between Headspace's vertical level structure and the physical body. Roughly, Central corresponds to the brain while the Chthonic levels correspond to the lower abdomen/ base of spine.

Blood Lotus Cathedral: A massive, lotus-shaped cathedral, originally discovered and formed as the "soulspace" of the 2012 Core. Although originally located in floatspace, it has since become the "heart" of Central City. It is a highly enigmatic location in recent times. May also be used as a collective "story" term for our System's past experiences.

bubblespace: The specific floatspace pocket that Infinitii resides in.

cathartic block: The situation in which an individual is unable to express and fully comprehend emotions. This is common with Plague infestation, or when Fogbank is fronting.
Central: A specific area of upper headspace within Central City, the first area to manifest in our entire inner world. It resembles a penthouse suite, located at the top of a skyscraper, overlooking the City. It has been stabilized into a sort of "safe space" for the Spectrum Cores in our System, who typically reside and work there. "Central" may also be used as a collective term to refer to those alters.

Central City: The main area of headspace: a small NYC-like city bordering an ocean and two large forests. Its geography resembles Rio de Janeiro.

Centralite: Any single member of Central.

channel: An "open path" in the mind/body that a headvoice uses in order to front, speak, or write.

chthonics: Alters that natively reside in the Chthonic level.

co-fronting: When two or more alters are driving the body at the same time.

color core: See "Spectrum core."

color realms: See "Realms."

core color: See "Spectrum core."
core: See "System core."
connection: In the proper context, this is a term for an act of intimate spiritual "bonding" between two or more individuals in headspace. This is a term borrowed from the Dream World Leagueworld, as it is essentially the same process. Connections can also vary in "color."

daemon: A heartspace creature born from the hidden shadows/vices of an individual: essentially, a manifestation of "what you are afraid of within yourself." A daemon is meant to promote total self-love and acceptance, while not sugarcoating or ignoring those darker sides. The daemon phenomenon has currently only been observed in humans within the System.

daemon realms: Isolated floatspace pockets that daemons typically reside in for the sake of safety and secrecy.

data voices: Original term for the Archivist alters.
destabilization: Existential "decay" that occurs when a headvoice loses their anchor, due to function collapse or corruption. It is often lethal.

downstairs: A term used to refer to the physical world/life outside of headspace: essentially what our body must participate in to survive.
driving: a term for the process of a headvoice directly and consciously controlling the physical body. Adopted because this often feels like driving a car or similar machine, something separate from the actual self. Interchangeable with "fronting."

ego:

a mindless conglomeration of expectations, not an actual personification or true consciousness
faceless: Literally, "without a manifested form." Most socials, splinters, and voices are faceless, and therefore very hard to identify.

faceless voices: Any headspace-originated "voice" that does not have a manifested form. Not interchangeable with 'floating voices.'

floating voices: A non-alter "voice" heard outside the head. These voices can be either helpful or actively harmful, usually the latter, yet it is often difficult to tell the difference. They may claim to be angels, demons, aliens, guides, etc. Floating voices predate the System's formation by several years. They also appear to be frightened or intimidated by System members, especially Laurie and Infinitii, and will "disappear" if such individuals make themselves known.

floatspace: Any visitable place in headspace/heartspace that has no fixed location, or which exists specifically in a non-physical place. These locations are frequently "self-contained" and very small.

fragment: …

See "splinter."

neutrality splinter. conscious in trauma or meltdowns. goal is to simply exist of the world
unhinged, emotionless, deep inspiration drive, possible alternate creation ability, silent, fragile, strange, detached, connected. despite unsettling demeanor, feels universally, completely open

fronter: A headspace individual who regularly fronts in the body, or if used in the active sense, the current individual doing so.
fronting: When a headvoice directly controls the body as its presenting consciousness. Interchangeable with "driving."

function: The role which a headvoice is sworn to fulfilling. Headvoices with unstable or unclear functions can die from the lack of stabilization, while those with "function overload" may corrupt to an equally lethal extreme. Also see "anchor."

function, inborn: A function that was inherent in an alter upon their manifestation.

function, inflicted: A function that was bestowed upon an alter after their manifestation. This is rare, and most frequently occurs when destabilization and/or anchor slippage occurs.

function overload: Occurs when an alter takes their function to a destructive and/or malevolent extreme, resulting in slippage and possibly destabilization.

Fusion:

ghosting: When an outspacer "half-appears" in the physical realm, as an intuitively perceptible being, in order to accompany the current fronter (typically a Core). Headvoices can also do this, but it must be learned, and it is difficult for them to remain ghosting for long.

graves: The series of 42 linear scars up and down the body's forearms. They were the first retributive actions taken, when it was discovered that hacks were destroying the creativity tied to the Leagueworlds, effectively "aborting" potential worlds and individuals before they had a chance to manifest. Laurie mandated that every hack from then on must be followed by a scar-- a "grave" for those lost as a result.
hack: A malevolent and typically traumatic attack from inside the System. Hacks can be either physical (forced fronting and abuse of the body) or non-physical (psychological warfare, induced nightmares). The term itself refers to both the brutal, sudden pain and terror of such incidents (i.e. "to deal cutting blows"), and the technological slang of "breaking into (a server) from a remote location to steal or damage data." Hacks are always perpetrated by corrupted individuals, most notably Julie (in the old timelines) and Sharona.

hack, dream: A hack that occurs while asleep, during a nightmare. Typically bleeds over into the body, but this can be prevented if a benevolent force intervenes in-dream.
headspace: The huge inner world we all reside in. It is a catchall term for all locations within, as long as they are related to the System. As of 2014 the term "heartspace" is now used to refer to Central's active living location, while "headspace" refers to the inner world at large, and Central prior to 2014.
headvoice: A non-corporeal individual born from headspace, within headspace. This term is interchangeable with the common DID term "alter."

heartspace: A replacement term for "headspace," used after the reset attempt in Dec 2013. It is meant to more properly indicate our function and purpose, as opposed to the hackers and floating voices.

heartvoice: A replacement term for "headvoice," used after the reset attempt in Dec 2013. It is meant to more properly distinguish between alters and the floating voices. It is usually used to refer to Centralites.
holder: Also "slot holder." Used to refer to any headvoice that is anchored to a color slot.

insects: Also "bugs." The myriad of insects that have been observed within our System, on multiple levels. Their purpose is unknown. They can be either benevolent or malevolent.
inspacer: An individual residing in headspace whose native world is a Leagueworld. See "outspacer."

invisible audience: A humorous term referring to the theoretical "readers" of our online posts.

Jewel: A prestigious title given to the Cores in our System that have connections to Dream World.
Jewel bloodline: A collective referral to the many artist fronters that have held the "Jewel" title in some way. This "bloodline" of function began in 2002, and has continued through at least four other individuals since then. The phenomenon itself is tied to the Leagueworlds and as such we know little about it.
johnny-nighter: A term referring to a night when we do not sleep, and instead stay awake typing nonstop until 5 or 6 AM. Sleep after that point is optional. Coined in 2009, a reference to the JTHM comic quote: "I don’t sleep; I have better things to do."

kything: A term reverently adopted from Madeleine L'Engle's books, this refers to a non-verbal, almost "spiritual" manner of communication between headspace individuals. It allows emotions, perceptions, and similar inner feelings to be shared instantly, on a level of intuitive understanding, and without the struggle of vocabulary translation. It is only possible if one is open to it.
Leagueworld: An inner world outside of headspace, which is intrinsically separate from it, and which the Jewel bloodline functions to learn and write about. There are approximately 15 of these Worlds to our current knowledge, including Dream World and Rosewindow. It is not impossible for individuals from Leagueworlds to interact with the System (e.g. Mister Sandman), but such individuals are usually reality-jumpers, and/or are similarly unhindered by their native universe limits.
Lightraye: The formal collective subtitle for both our System and the Leagueworlds (e.g. "Lightraye League," "Lightraye System"). It is also used as a surname for those in key positions there.

lilies: Flowers associated with Infinitii. Their current purpose is unknown.

limbo: "The grayish void between realms upstairs." Possibly actual Grayspace. Rarely used term, but refers to a legitimate location.

Links: Mental/spiritual connections formed between two or more individuals in two or more different worlds, "linking" them across space and time.
"When Jewel was younger, his consciousness would 'branch out' rather uncontrollably. Because of this he'd often 'catch' the vibrations of same-level individuals outside our system (i.e. media sources), effectively creating a sort of energetic bridge for them to enter headspace if they so wished. Few individuals were able to enter, though, and even fewer were able to stay. Those who did exhibited a peculiar sort of "resonance" with our inner energy field that effectively made them just as much a part of this system as we are, and may even be mandatory for such a scenario."

Lotus Cathedral: The "Leagueworld" title for our System; essentially, what we call the "story" of our lives. Originally synonymous with "Blood Lotus Cathedral."

Lower headspace: The level of headspace immediately below Midspace, but above the Underground. It holds "triggered" alters who are not destructive.
manics:

manifestation: The process of forming or solidifying a body within headspace.

massacre: A term referring to one specific reset event on December 28th 2013, in which Cannon and Jessica attempted to kill every existing headvoice and therefore destroy the System. It was nearly successful-- active headspace was nearly razed, and both active Cores were presumed dead. The System did survive but regeneration has been an arduous process, as we are effectively starting from base zero this time.

metainomen:

metainomenai: Plural form of “metainomen.”

Midspace: "Middle headspace." The level of headspace at 'street level.' It is effectively neutral, and holds alters who are passively benevolent. Social alters of such function may also appear here.
midspacer: An alter who natively resides in Middle Headspace, or "midspace." During the early days of the Spectrum this term instead referred to all outspacers/inspacers.

mindspill: A term for an archival entry written mostly via the A.P., enabling for rapid cycling of "authors" without the stress of having to front or enter the body to do so. Mindspill entries are rarely capitalized, may not contain grammar, and typically jump between several topics without necessarily concluding any.

Mirror Oasis (Room):

mistranslation: A term referring to circumstances upon which a certain experience and/or expression cannot find a fitting outlet and is forced into another, often harmful context. Typical in hacks.

old girls: Any of the destructive and/or malevolent alters that existed prior to Jewel becoming the core. Typically refers to Jessica or Jezebel, but also includes several faceless voices.

original child: The unidentified, possibly unsalvageable individual that assumedly lived in this body prior to headspace's inception. S/he may exist only in broken pieces of alters by this point.

overlay: Occurs whenever a headvoice fronts in the body. It is an intuitive "mask" of the headvoice's actual appearance, superimposed upon the physical form to decrease dysphoria and increase coherent functioning. Considered a sort of "personal identification" as fronters can often be retroactively identified by looking ath their overlay records. Only faceless voices do not emit overlays.
outspace: Physical, body-experienced reality, i.e. anything outside of headspace. Also called "the waking world."
outspacer: An individual residing in headspace whose native world exists outside of headspace, typically from a media source. Also called "walk-ins," along with inspacers. These individuals are similar to "soulbonds" in multiple systems, although we do not often use that term. They differ from headvoices in both role and behavior, and are not inherently tied to the System, although it imposes strict requirements on any eligible individuals. It is not uncommon for outspacers to be suddenly blocked from entering headspace in disaster situations.

Plague: A self-aware mass of corrupted White energy, that has taken up residence within headspace. Its true age is unknown, as it did not begin evidencing until after the Tar gained its own physical form. The Plague's main vices are pride and apathy, and it appears to seek only the passive annihilation of the System-- a reset which would be unrecoverable from.

plague rooms:

(attempted hack of whitespace)

programming: Internalized subconscious behavior and/or thought processes that are typically harmful and devoid of self-awareness and personal truth.

raw headspace: The ethereal material that our entire inner world is built from. See "whitespace" and "blackspace."

realms: Also "color realms." Refers to a specific area of heartspace that is dedicated to alters of a specific Spectrum color. This is a post-massacre phenomenon and as such, not much is yet known about it.
reset attempt: An attempt to annihilate the System, with or without hope of regeneration.

reset: A "successful" reset attempt. None have been permanently successful, but all have had serious and often traumatic lasting consequences.

resurrection: The phenomenon in which a 'dead' alter is suddenly brought back to life. This can only occur at the will of the System itself.

Retributor: An alter whose main role is to deliver atonement. Collectively "Retributors."

roses:
Scratch: A term which refers to one specific hard-reset event that occurred on February 24th 2013, in which our current fronter attempted to annihilate the entirety of headspace, and return to a pre-trauma mindset. Although ultimately unsuccessful, the Scratch attempt had such severe and permanent consequences that we now refer to our current time as "post-Scratch," and the time before the 24th as "pre-Scratch."

slippage: Also "slipping." Markedly out-of-character or corrupted behavior, which occurs when an alter begins to lose their anchor or corrupt their function. This is a "warning" phenomenon and it is not lethal unless allowed to continue unchecked.
slots: Also "color slots." A term for any color in the Spectrum held by a headvoice. For example, Laurie Uberich holds the VIOLET slot. This means that her energy resonance is VIOLET, and no other headvoice can hold that exact color while she does.
socials: A casual term for a group of mostly-unidentified voices who front the most frequently, due to not having body anchors. Also called "social fronters."

soulbond: An adopted term, referring to Outspacers.
Spectrum, The: A collective term for either 1. the sixteen energetic "color slots" that define the function of our System, or 2. the headvoices in our System that are anchored to these color slots (as such it does NOT include faceless voices).

Spectrum core: The main hue of each Spectrum color slot. There are sixteen: Red, Brown, Orange, Yellow, Lime, Green, Aqua, Sky, Blue, Indigo, Violet, Pink, Cerise, Gray, White, and Black. Each color has approximately six main subslots. Also "color core" or "core color."

spiders: Insects of the Yellow realms. They are typically malevolent.
splinter: A zombie-like alter that has "broken off" of another, typically a Core. They are not truly conscious, having no true anchor or sense of self, and may instead become puppets for the Tar/Plague. This phenomenon was recognized in 2011, although it existed for some time prior. See "fragment."

splintering: The negative process in which a core "breaks" into two or more separate individuals, due to trauma or forced compartmentalization.
"We thought she was born from my 'lost' energy, optimism, childhood innocence, and kindness, but that had never really been lost. I had splintered. The real me HAS all of that, the me talking right now IS all of that! I never lost it. Thanatos and Fragment are a median system. It scares me, I won't deny that, but now I understand why I splintered like that. Laurie's motivation is to keep me safe and bright, above all else. And in my past, I didn't know what that entailed. So I broke myself into pieces without realizing it, because I didn't think those pieces could safely be part of me."

stabilization: The adjustment period immediately following an alter's manifestation, during which they become less "impulse" and more of an individual.

sub-hue: See subslot.

subslot: A Spectrum hue of a certain color that is not the Core color. For example, Gold is a subslot of Yellow. Also "sub-hue."

System Core: An alter who acts as the "main consciousness" for the System, ideally fronting whenever possible and acting as a focal point for the System's well-being. Central is dedicated to the aid and assistance of the current Core. Cores tend to change every 2-3 years, or after a sufficiently traumatic event.

System, The:

It may also be used as a general collective term for all the alters in headspace/heartspace.
Tar: a self-aware mass of corrupted Black energy, that has taken up residence below active headspace. It is assumed to be the second true member of our System, having been created simultaneously with Julie, and eventually overtaking her, due to the highly negative circumstances of their joint manifestation. The Tar ceaselessly perpetuates pain and trauma within headspace, as it needs these things in order to survive. Although it rarely acts directly, it frequently uses others for its own ends, either through forced control or psychological warfare. Even so, it has created a splinter named Jezebel for the sake of direct interaction. The Tar almost exclusively targets Jay and Infinitii, our Cores, since they directly threaten its existence, and any damage to them harms the entire System.

tar rooms:

(originally hacked into blackspace!)

thanatos drive: The "death drive" experienced by damaged Cores. (Cannon era only??)

exists solely to destroy the self. highly abusive. unable to interact. goal is to end personal existence

death drive. conscious in high stress. almost always conscious after hacks
entirely destructive, disconnected, purposeless, positive incomprehension, violent, driven, retributive, hopeless, angry

 

timeline: …

timeline, dead: …

trigger: …

Underground:

A specific level of lower headspace that contains very dangerous individuals, and so is not easily/ typically accessible.
upstairs: A casual term for "everything non-physical/ inside (our head)," for when more specific jargon would be baffling.
voices: A term for the faceless "voices" heard by fronters in the body, which may or may not ever anchor into actual headvoices. Voices are frequently manipulative and/or malevolent. Interchangeable with "floating voices."

walk-in: The original term for "outspacer." Taken from the fact that they all "walked in" to headspace from the physical world.

whitespace: One of the two realms of "raw" headspace; Whitespace deals with inorganics and the conscious mind. It is an unending realm of raw White energy, effectively the "blueprint" that all of headspace manifested from. Whitespace is "above" the bodymap and so it does not exist in any fixed location, but it can be visited, resembling an endless, luminous white space with a floor but no walls or ceiling. It is cubic in form. It can be limitlessly manipulated, but will only take on fixed shapes or forms, otherwise it will appear inert. In the early days of headspace, this is all that existed of our inner world, until Central manifested around 2009.

Xanga session: Slang for a stream-of-consciousness conversation held by two or more alters within headspace and written to a computer in realtime. Named after the website on which we originally hosted these conversations. These sessions typically last several hours.
: …

: …

: …

 



LEVELS OF HEADSPACE
We have identified several distinct "levels" of headspace.
It's easiest to think of the first five in a vertical fashion, but space doesn't quite work that way up here.

CENTRAL (UPSTAIRS)
This level refers almost entirely to Central City, the "hub" of our inner world. The landmark of this city is a skyscraper-like building referred to simply as "Central." This building is where the core-anchored headvoices reside, as it has been stabilized into a sort of "safe space" for them.
The inhabitants of Central are all tied to proper System function, especially the maintenance of the System itself and the care of its myriad inhabitants. Their anchors reflect the core energy colors. Laurie is the protector of the Upstairs, and by her own extension, the entire System as well.
MIDDLE HEADSPACE
Often "Midspace."
We referred to this level as "downstairs" for a while, but that became confusing as "downstairs" actually refers to physical reality for us, so we dropped this double usage.

LOWER HEADSPACE

Lower headspace is more strongly connected to raw consciousness than Central or Midspace; as a result it is typically fluid and highly mutable, with few 'fixed' areas. Lowers frequently work with the Undergrounders.
UNDERGROUND
Refers to a level of headspace below Central City, thought to be virtually inaccessible prior to 2012. The main habitable areas of it resemble basilica cisterns, and/or cathedral cloisters. Deeper, less hospitable areas resemble caves or catacombs, and often have an eerie red glow. At least one such area appears infested with massive insects. Exploring the Underground is highly dangerous and not recommended, as the Tar also resides there, albeit in a currently-unknown location. The exact size and extent of the Underground is unknown. This level also does not seem to follow the same rules of space that upper levels of headspace do.
The inhabitants of the Underground are all tied to trauma on some level. Their anchors may be coping methods, preventative actions, or the trauma itself. Knife is the protector of the Underground.

THE CHTHONIC LEVELS
Refers to a level of headspace below the Underground, which we were not aware of until 2014.

We know very little about it, at it is highly inhospitable, and those residing there are not welcoming of intruders or visitors.

This level is very organic in structure, resembling a massive cave formation. Its main area consists of a large underground body of water.

FLOATSPACE
Small "pocket locations" of headspace that are self-contained in raw headspace. Leon's cathedrals were the first example of such places we became aware of.

RAW HEADSPACE
Technically not a "level" at all, raw headspace does not even hold a mappable location. Rather, it is a term to refer to the "unformed" areas of headspace, blank white expanses of infinite potential. It is not impossible to enter them, just very difficult. Raw headspace can also be seen whenever a location begins to deteriorate, or when a location is not fully formed. This is what the entirety of headspace was until approximately 2002, when it began to solidify into the beginnings of the Downstairs.
Jay is commonly seen as the "protector" of raw headspace, as he is the White slot holder, and therefore has the most influence over it.

DAEMON REALMS

INFINITII'S BUBBLE
An entire level unto itself, the Bubble is literally a small, tangible sphere of encapsulated headspace. It was created by Infinitii in February 2013, and it is where he resides. Jay wears it as a necklace, attached to a silver chain, at Infinitii's behest. He has also procured a similar physical necklace in the waking world, for the sake of fronter interaction with Infinitii.
The Bubble is highly unique, as it is a floating level, and therefore exists within whatever other level it is brought into. It is bigger on the inside than on the outside, although upon entering it one will appear to "shrink." The inside is shaped like a large dome, and from within it one can still perceive the outside world as through translucent glass above. This fact can be used to produce a bizarre "recursive reality effect" if Jay enters the Bubble, as the view from "outside" will therefore reflect the interior. Lastly, the Bubble can only be entered or exited at Infinitii's command, as it exists for the sole purpose of keeping him safe from danger as long as the Tar still exists.

 

 


ENERGY COLORS
Our entire inner reality runs on several different colors of "energy," i.e., the ethereal stuff that makes things exist and function up here. By extension, this energy is inherently tied to the life of all beings native to headspace as well.
Ideally, these multiple colors should all function in harmony, with no corruption or manipulation within. Unfortunately this is not often the case, since the System and headspace itself were both created from trauma. We are moving beyond this, but it is a complex process.
As of 2015, sixteen different color slots have been identified. Each of these has its own specific sort of energetic function, which pertains not only to how it works in headspace, but also how it affects the headvoices that are bonded to it in their functions.


THE SPECTRUM
Due to the very substance of headspace being organized into colors, it is only fitting that those who were born from it exhibit connections to those same hues.
This phenomenon of color functions is the most pervasive aspect of our inner world, and as such it is difficult for us to fully grasp. Furthermore, since headspace itself exhibits its own strange sort of consciousness, the Spectrum itself is no exception. It shifts and evolves of its own volition, sometimes dramatically, according to what is needed for headspace to function properly. No one has been able to manipulate or otherwise influence the behavior of the Spectrum, not even the cores. Perhaps this is for the best, as it exhibits a wisdom in its silent management that we could only guess at ourselves.

The Spectrum itself is the groundwork of our entire System. It serves to organize and maintain proper order in headspace, making sure every headvoice has a proper role.
Each Spectrum color has one "core slot," which reflects that basic hue (the core slot of Red is Red). It also has several "sub-slots," which include shades and tints of that same color, and whose functions reflect variations on that color's basic energy (sub-slots of Green include Sage and Jade).
Ideally, all headvoices hold a color slot. Most headvoices manifest already anchored to a fitting color, thanks to energy resonance: if their function or origin is clear, they will naturally reflect whatever color matches it most closely. This is seen most often with Core slot holders.
However, not all individuals in headspace are part of the Spectrum. Faceless voices and outspacers must find solid anchors/functions before they can become part of the Spectrum. Nevertheless, all non-Spectrum individuals still display a sort of "resonance" with one or more colors; it is simply clarity that they lack. Once clarity of function is found, individuals naturally gravitate to a fitting color slot.
Black & White energies are unique as they inherently hold all other colors within them, and they are also the only colors capable of existing in a solidly corrupted state (the Tar & Plague). Negative B/W qualities CAN bleed over into any other slot, or infect more directly through temporary "possession" (e.g. Julie and Laurie both having some Black abilities), but this poses a high risk of often-fatal destabilization to those affected. Positive B/W bleedover is more subtle, usually only manifesting in powerfully specific but heartfelt situations (Soul Forms, the Angel Helmet).

A headvoice in a core slot will not only reflect the basic attributes of that energy color, but they will also act as a guardian of that energy within headspace, and all those who use it. All core slot holders typically reside in Central headspace due to their important roles. Sub-slot holders will still reflect attributes related to that core energy color, but not as strongly.

When a headvoice anchors fully into a color, their eyes and hair will match it. Any discrepancy in an anchored headvoice's eye/hair color, as opposed to their actual slot, is a telltale sign of their anchor splitting, migrating, or failing. The only exception to this rule are those in the Monochrome slots (Black/White), as they can naturally mirror any slot in the Spectrum if they so wish, and this inevitably changes their eye color.

(disclaimer for the following list: many of us went missing after the august reset. nevertheless this list includes the most recent holders.)
(C) = Central ... (D) = Downstairs ... (U) = Underground ... (M) = Midspacer... (L) = Lower... (O) = Outspacer ... (H) = Core ... (X) = ???

BROWN
CORE: Spine Hypomone (C).
BEIGE: held by Aimee (D).
TAN: possibly held by the "siren" (D)
RUSSET: held by Jayce (D).
SPICE: held by Spice (D).
CHOCOLATE: held by Overload (D).
BISTRE: held by "The Bear" (U).

RED
CORE: Javier Anastasi (C). Previously Jewel Lightraye (all). Accessible by the Monochrome holders.
BLOOD: held by Razor (U).
CRIMSON: held by Eros (X).
CHERRY: held by Zwei (D).
RUBY: held by Jewel (D,H).
MAROON: held by the "dead red" voice (D).
CADMIUM: held by Cannon (X).

ORANGE
CORE: held by Lynne Stabelle (C).
VERMILION: held by Algorith (U).
TANGERINE: held by Hyakin (M).
CORAL: held by Amara (M).
PEACH: held by Kalisha (M).
GAMBOGE: none.

YELLOW
CORE: held by Josephina Bellameire (C).
AMBER: held by Genesis Apolymis (I).
VANILLA: held by Sylvain (U?).
GOLDENROD: held by Marigold (L).
GOLD: none.

GREEN
CORE: held by Nathaniel Victoire (C).
SAGE: held by Sergei (M).
JADE: none.
OLIVE: none, previously held by Bridget (X).
LIME: held by Cel (D, H).
CHARTREUSE: possibly held by "the oni girl" (D?).

AQUA
(the lineup of this slot is still unsteady)
TEAL: held by Emmett (D).
MINT: held by Minty (U).
AZURE: held by Einsatz (D).
AQUA: held by Chaos 0 (O).
OCEAN: held by Garrison (M).

BLUE
CORE: Waldorf Kalliope (C).
SAPPHIRE: held by the "navy singer" (D).
SKY: held by Kyanos (M).
SLATE: possibly held by the Gent (D).
CRYSTAL: none, previously Nathaniel Victoire (C).
POWDER: none, previously held by Missy (X).
NAVY: none.

INDIGO
CORE: held by Leon Kiasi (C).
ICE: held by David (U).
DUSK: held by Ryman Saikaras (O).
SMOKE: possibly held by the "airport voice" (D).
MIDNIGHT: none.

VIOLET
CORE: held by Laurie Uberich (C).
PURPLE: held by Markus Barashir (O).
LAVENDER: held by Xenophon Lephise (I).
LILAC: held by Christina Marie (U).
MAUVE: held by Isadora (M).
PLUM: none.

PINK
CORE: held by Julie Enantios (C).
CLARET: held by Knife (U).
CERISE: held by Mulberry Delta (U).
SUGAR: held by Sugar (U).
ROSE: held by Jeremiah (U).
VICTORIAN: held by an unknown female alter (U?).

MONOCHROME (BLACK/WHITE)
BLACK: held by both the Tar (X) and Infinitii Eternos (H).
WHITE: held by Jay Iridos (H).
SILVER: held by Mister Sandman (I).
GRAY: held by Sherlock (M).
STORM: none.


Chaos 0's current slot (originally Cyan, then Aqua) is currently unknown, as his manifestation changed dramatically post-reset. Assumedly it is of the Teal lineup.

Julie, Bridget, and Missy technically do not have solid anchors, as the latter two are splinters and Julie is infected by the Tar. However, they CAN hijack actual color cores, and have done so in the past in order to "lock out" people trying to anchor into them: Julie as Pink, Bridget as Green, and Missy as Blue. This hijacking has had negative long-term effects on all three of those slots, and those who hold connected sub-slots.

Jezebel and Sharona, two malevolent voices, seem to hold Black slots by virtue of their strong connection to the Tar. It is unknown whether or not they are capable of existing apart from it, especially since Jezebel is a splinter as well.

It is unknown whether or not the Spectrum has any opinion on the massive number of faceless/ nameless voices currently making themselves known thanks to therapy. We suppose time will tell.

 

 

 

SPECTRUM ENERGY COLORS
Our entire inner reality runs on several different colors of "energy," i.e., the ethereal stuff that makes things exist and function up here. By extension, this energy is inherently tied to the life of all beings native to headspace as well.
Ideally, these multiple colors should all function in harmony, with no corruption or manipulation within. Unfortunately this was not always the case, since the System and headspace itself were both created from trauma. We are moving beyond this, but it is a complex process.


As of
08-23-2017, twenty-six TENTATIVE different color slots have been identified:

 

BROWN, INFRA?, RED, BLOOD, VERMILION, SUNSET, ORANGE, AMBER, YELLOW, LIME, GREEN, EVERGREEN, AQUA, CYAN, SKY, BLUE, NAVY, INDIGO, PURPLE, ULTRAVIOLET?, VIOLET, PINK, MAGENTA, CERISE, GRAY, WHITE, BLACK, CHAMPAGNE?, GOLD, SILVER, BRONZE? GLASS? MULTICOLOR????

---------------------------------------

OLDER NOTES:

 

The four "monochrome" colors can be grouped into one, leaving a total of sixteen. (two 8 point stars)

There are also SEVEN distinct color trios:

 

RED, VERMILION, ORANGE, AMBER,

YELLOW, LIME, GREEN, AQUA,

CYAN, SKY, BLUE, INDIGO,

PURPLE, VIOLET, PINK, CERISE,

BROWN, GRAY, WHITE, BLACK.

 

--OR??--

 

CERISE, RED, VERMILION, ORANGE,

AMBER, YELLOW, LIME, GREEN,

AQUA, CYAN, SKY, BLUE,

INDIGO, PURPLE, VIOLET, PINK,

BROWN, GRAY, WHITE, BLACK.

 

And there are EIGHT distinct color pairs:

 

RED, CYAN,

VERMILION, SKY,

ORANGE, BLUE,

AMBER, INDIGO,

YELLOW, PURPLE,

LIME, VIOLET,

GREEN, PINK,

AQUA, CERISE,

BROWN, GRAY,

WHITE, BLACK.

 

 

BROWN is placed at the beginning with the REDS as it is the "BASE" hue and effectively acts as the "door" between Headspace and Bodyspace.

The MONOCHROMES are a door between Headspace and Heartspace.

 

 

Each of these hues has its own specific sort of energetic function, which pertains not only to how it works in headspace, but also how it affects the headvoices that are bonded to it in their functions.


BROWN
Attributes:

ELEMENTS: bone, earth, stone
It is connected to bone and earth and stone, to the physical anchors of life itself.
Headvoices who hold this color seem to hold a strong connection to the physical body, and/or what it experiences.
Instability in Brown manifests as
...


RED
Attributes:
purpose, creativity, drive, audacity,
- It is strongly connected to creativity, blood and the life force.
- Headvoices who hold this color seem to invariably be "artists" in some way. They have a drive to creatively express themselves, through any outlet they deem proper.
- Instability in Red manifests as rage, hedonism,
- The Red color is arguably the most mysterious in the System, as it was originally tied ONLY to the Jewel bloodline. When Jay, the most recent host-piece, permanently moved out of it in mid-2013, the slot was emptied for the first time since the System's inception.

 

VERMILLION
Attributes:
… 
Headvoices who hold this color (...)
Instability in Vermilion manifests as
...


ORANGE
Attributes:
composure, kindness, hospitality, amity,
Headvoices who hold this color seem to work as "balancers," keeping emotions stable and healthy but not suppressed.
Instability in Orange manifests as
...

 

AMBER
Attributes:
… 
Headvoices who hold this color (...)
Instability in Amber manifests as
...


YELLOW
Attributes:
vitality, power, confidence, 
Headvoices who hold this color (...)
Instability in Yellow manifests as
...

 

LIME
Attributes:
Headvoices who hold this color (...)
Instability in Lime manifests as
...


GREEN
Attributes:
balance, healing, peace, compassion
It appears to be strongly connected to the natural world, notably vegetation and insect life.
Headvoices who hold this color (...)
Instability in Green manifests as
*Due to Bridget's corruption of this slot, all headvoices who anchor into Green seem to have a high risk of traumatic resets. Nathaniel has infamously died four times (due to either murder or stabilization failure; he was Blue AND Green though), the Sage voice was brutally killed shortly after manifesting, and Cel's identity was in shreds for years.

 

JADE/ EVERGREEN
Attributes:
… 
Headvoices who hold this color (...)
Instability in … manifests as
...


AQUA
Attributes:
Oddly, it appears to be connected to simple self-care, and a more childlike mindset.
Headvoices who hold this color (...)
Instability in Aqua manifests as
...

 

CYAN

Attributes:
Headvoices who hold this color (...)
Instability in Cyan manifests as

 

SKY

Attributes:
Headvoices who hold this color (...)
Instability in Sky manifests as
...


BLUE
Attributes:
communication, joy, innocence, hope
- It appears to be connected to the sky, and to reflections (not water, just reflections).
- Headvoices who hold this color (...)
- Instability in Blue manifests as the inability to speak, depression,
*Due to Missy's corruption of this slot, all headvoices who anchor into Blue have a high risk of dying. Nathaniel, Waldorf, and Kyanos have all experienced death at least once after anchoring here in the past-- Nat at Julie's hands (initially), Wally from a forced anchor freeze, and Kyanos from major stabilization failure.


INDIGO
Attributes:
truth, insight, awareness, gentleness, self-sacrifice
- Headvoices who hold this color (...)
- Instability in Indigo manifests as panic, fear, paranoia, and confusion. This was notably visible in Leon when he first tentatively anchored into this slot.
...

 

PURPLE
Attributes:
… 
Headvoices who hold this color (...)
Instability in … manifests as


VIOLET
Attributes:
protection, truth, spirituality, honor, benevolence, devotion, wisdom, integrity
- Headvoices who hold this color typically dedicate or devote themselves to the protection of something, either a person or an idea. They are highly insightful and are masters of diplomacy. They also seem to have an inherent and powerful spiritual side, and greatly value integrity in this sense in both themselves and in others.
- Instability in Violet manifests as purposelessness, the need to control, doubt,
...


PINK
Attributes:
closeness, compassion, softness, elegance, union of opposites
- Headvoices who hold this color have shockingly dichotomous but non-split personalities, often displaying two opposite qualities or aspects without self-conflict (e.g. rage and gentleness).
- Instability in Pink manifests as hatred, spite, manipulation, and violence. All Pink voices have the potential to quickly become unstable so they are treated with caution.
*Due to Julie's corruption of this slot, all headvoices who anchor into Pink seem invariably tied to the trauma of sexual abuse, either as sufferers or preventors.

 

CERISE
Attributes:
… 
Headvoices who hold this color (...)
Instability in … manifests as

 

GRAY
Attributes:
… 
Headvoices who hold this color (...)
Instability in … manifests as


WHITE
Attributes:
conscious, structure, order, stability, individuality, innocence, knowledge, creation through objects 
- It shows a connection to rainbows, and it displays a similar iridescence.
- Headvoices who hold this color can freely shape ANY energy, but can only work with what is given. They can change their form if they desire, but this must be deliberate and stable. They can freely edit headspace energy, but must stay within creation limits. They also can control what memories are put into the archives, although their access to the entirety of data is limited. White voices also seem to have difficulty moving through time.
- Instability in White manifests as disconnection, the inability to feel emotion, suicide
- It is one of the two "core" monochrome energies of headspace. As such, its holders must be protected, as sufficient damage or corruption to a White core can damage the structure of headspace just as severely.


BLACK
Attributes:
unconscious, community, mutability, mystery, potential, understanding, creation through people
- It shows a connection to the night sky, and it displays an oilslick-like iridescence. Black energy is also said to taste like sugar.
- Headvoices who hold this color have highly mutable bodies, but cannot control this well; it tends to move constantly. They can "bring out the potential" of ANY headspace energy, even beyond limits, but cannot force changes. They also have full access to memory archives, but unless something is put in there, it cannot be accessed. Black voices also seem to have difficulty moving through space.
- Instability in Black manifests as loss of impulse control, loss of self, addiction
- It is one of the two "core" monochrome energies of headspace. As such, its holders must be protected, as sufficient damage or corruption to a Black core can damage the substance of headspace just as severely.




SYSTEM MECHANICS
(aka how stuff works? its really bizarre sometimes)
...
...
It is possible for an anchored headvoice to die, and later "resurrect" without warning. This is because, if headspace has decided that individual "is supposed to live," it will actively prevent them from staying dead, or even dying in the first place, regardless of headvoice interference. The most notable examples of resurrection are Nathaniel and Infinitii, while the most notable example of nigh-immortality is Laurie.







prismaticbleed: (held)

Do your alter colors mean anything? If so, what?
Alter colors are most obviously tied to function. For example, all Red voices deal with creativity, and independence, and passion. All Violet voices deal with truth, and integrity, and self-knowledge. All Pink voices deal with innocence, graciousness, and affection. So on and so forth.
Every alter must “anchor” into a color in order to manifest internally (gaining a name, face, etc.). You can’t force a color switch after one anchors, but it can happen, especially if an alter’s inner “purpose” doesn’t truly match the color they’re currently in (this happened with Josephina, Lynne, and Nathaniel in the past).

That’s the most I can tell you for sure, though! The colors in our System have immense meaning, both by themselves and when applied to alters, but we haven’t been able to pinpoint the exact extent of those meanings. It may not even be possible; things shift constantly in here.

Do any of your meatspace friends know about your multiplicity/DID/MPD? If so do they address your alters as different people?
We've had a rather isolated life, as we live in the country and have never had much of a need to socialize even online. However, yes, our closest friends (at least 5) do know we have D.I.D., although only three of them have ever spoken to different System members (two of them even spoke to several of us in person). Regardless they all acknowledge and address us all as our own people, which we are very grateful for.

If/when your body was in school, what subjects attracted which alters?

We were just starting to become aware of our condition when college started (we had to drop out as a result), and high school was almost entirely lost to dissociation, so unfortunately we can't answer this question.

What kind of skills do your alters have on the inside that don’t manifest on the outside? Does this frustrate them?

All of the Retributors and Centralites have skills with weaponry, but for the most part that doesn't manifest outwards at all. The Centralites aren't bothered by it (their weapon usage is only for the inner world), but the Retributors can get notably shaken if they find the body is clumsy or otherwise unwieldy with their signature armaments.
Then of course you have the few members that have elemental or energy-based abilities, such as Javier (fire) and Leon (ice). This of course does not manifest on the outside, but the fact that such abilities are rarely used even upstairs keeps much dissonance from occurring.


Do system members ever play games outworld with each other?
Very rarely. We used to play Rock Band 3 and Soul Calbur 4 with each other, due to the extensive avatar customization, but we no longer have free access to an XBox so that's not really an option as of late.
To say a little more, though, we're really not 'game' people in general? Like the idea of playing games for recreation was always foreign, even to the child cores. Maybe that was because of context, whenever the downstairs family played games it was forced or stressful. So we never enjoyed it. For our earliest cores, 'fun' was being alone and often in our own head, and/or lost in the woods. Still is really.
Nevertheless, now that we're trying to find a safer environment in the external world, we may start trying to interact with each other within it. 'Outworld' stuff is still mostly alien to us.

What does your inner world look like?
Our inner world was dealt a massive blow back in December from which it is still recovering. Since we are rebuilding at the moment, I will answer this according to what it was like up until that event.
In short, how it looks depends on where you are. The main area is a coastal city like New York, except rather small in size (the entire city is compact into about the space of a small town), and it is surrounded by forests-- to the west are deciduous forests, while to the east are more tropical forests, as far as we can tell. Admittedly we didn't get to explore much of those areas before the December incident.


Do any of your alters play musical instruments?
Some of us do, but it's mostly internal. We have highly limited access to instruments downstairs, and the body is only schooled in piano and violin. All cores have access to that information (Jay, Jewel, etc.), as do all music voices (Zwei, Einsatz, etc.). Some music alters also sing, but that is tied to body dysphoria and some traumatic situations so it is becoming rare nowadays.
Internally, though, for the most part people just "channel" sounds through themselves in the form of resonant instruments. So that obviously doesn't translate into the physical.
In that sense, Lynne plays violin & cello, Javier plays piano, Laurie plays electric guitar, Waldorf likes synthesizers, and Spine is our percussionist. Everyone else isn't as specific and/or strongly tied to music.

How do you and your other parts communicate? Do you have an inner world or "brain dumps"?
We have a very complex inner world, and have since the very beginning. It's also tied, by distant extension, to a network of other "inner worlds" that Jewel and Jay write for.
"Brain dumps" are relatively new, as for us they are managed by alters-- there are four Archivists who have access to memory/data continuity and therefore they help prevent total confusion in new, or sudden, fronters.

What are your favorite and least favorite parts of having multiple people in your head?
We are all grateful for the knowledge that, through hard-won experience and constant growth, we can always deal with what life throws at us, one way or another. However, the best aspect of this 'condition' is definitely the deep friendships and equally deep love (on both personal and community levels) within the System.
The worst bit is when the "bad" voices appear (which we are strongly suspecting are not part of our inner world at all, and may even be external), or when System people are badly triggered (esp. the children). Some of us also dislike the fact that it's not 'safe or appropriate' for us to switch out most of the time, although most of our members are perfectly fine with that fact.


What is the age range between all of your parts?
Age is something none of us really understand, as we base our 'ages' on the dates we first appeared in the System-- none of us are older than 17 in that respect.
We see human age as four chunks of appearance-based variety: childhood, young adulthood, adulthood, and old age (with the third part being the most baffling). We have at least three children and teens, and the rest of us are 'adults' although none of us could give you an age if you asked.
Nonhuman members, such as Infinitii and CZ, eschew the concept of age altogether.

Do any of the parts do better in some areas of daily life than others? What are they?
Absolutely. Most of us are built for internal living, so for such individuals physical life can be confusing at best and disturbing at worst.
We all fail at communication, for various reasons, outside of the therapist's office-- and even there many of us cannot figure out how to speak aloud.

What different religions are present in your system? How does everyone practice their own beliefs?
The vast majority of us do not have any 'religion' to speak of. Christina Marie is the marked exception, and she is a Roman Catholic, the religion the body was raised as. Unfortunately our initial experiences with those teachings were brutal and rather negative, and that sort of "fire and brimstone" mindset is what Christina holds on to as well as the brighter things we all still treasure in our own right. We're currently helping both her and the other traumatized members of our System rise above that ancient self-damning mindset, but morally-based pain is the hardest to alleviate. It's a process.
As a long-term result of that-- we spent years "soul-searching" and dabbling in many different religions-- none of us really currently 'practice' any beliefs in a religious sense. Dogma, creed and ritual are alien to us. However the very function of our System requires that, for everything to work as it should, we all must live according to our best qualities, and for the good of the all, however that may individually be expressed.
Our System was created in order to protect, to heal, and to survive. Trauma may indeed have been our starting point, but by our very definition, we were never supposed to promote or prolong that negativity. Therefore, virtues such as forgiveness, compassion, courage, respect, responsibility, community, charity, and love, are what our System survives on. Without them, we lose coherence and health both, and begin to fracture.
We don't subscribe or affiliate with any specific religion, but we can see the same roots of our System in every religion we've yet encountered, and so we feel no need to label and limit our constantly evolving perspective concerning those roots as a result.


What's a sure way to cheer up the five last fronters?
Let's see, according to our notes from therapy this week, that would be… Jay, Laurie, Algorith, Wreckage, and Sherlock. Nice bunch.
Jay is our current Core. He's sparkly-eyed by nature, so it's rather easy to cheer him up, but he struggles with self-identity so he doesn't have many concrete interests. However, the creative work he shares with Jewel will have him grinning in an instant.
Laurie is the Protector of our System. She's very chill and doesn't dwell on negatives unnecessarily.
Algorith and Wreckage are both Retributors, which means they're frequently non-cheery by definition of their job. Algorith likes hiphop music though. Wreckage is trickier; she only calms down when she is 100% sure that those under her care are safe, so if you show concretely that you are not a threat and offer to help with such safety, she'll be happy.
Sherlock, our main Archivist, is an analytical fellow who spends all his time in a gigantic techno-library of sorts. Despite this he is very approachable. I'm sure if you showed any interest in the archives, especially as a question, he'd immediately start on an info-dump for that topic-- rather enthusiastically, I might add.


What genders are represented in your system? How does the body present? Does this create any problems for the system members of different genders?
As stated here, due to early trauma, only two or three of our members are biologically sexual, and even those who are humanoid don't quite understand the application of gender as a solid concept. For us, "male" and "female" pertain to pronouns and presentation alone, for the most part, and all of us are fine with at least being referred to as one or the other, for simplicity's sake.
General identifications are as follows (roughly= gender markers indicate binary pronoun preferences only):
Female♀: Aimee, Jewel, Lynne, Amara, Bridget, Missy, Christina, "the singer"
Male♂: Jayce, Garrison, Sergei, the GMQ trio, Markus, Leon
Bigender: Josephina♂, Xenophon♀, Amara
Pangender: Julie♀, Infinitii♂
Genderqueer: Kalisha♀, Javier♂, Waldorf♀, CZ♂, Knife♂, Isadora♀, Jeremiah♂, Pinstripe♂, Mr. Sandman♂
Androgyne: Nathaniel♂, Kyanos♂, Rio♂, Genesis♂
Agender: Jay♂, Laurie♀, Zwei♀, Einsatz♂, Spice♀, Cannon♀, Hyakin♂, Overload♀, Sugar♀, Mulberry♀, Sherlock♂, "airport"♂
Nongendered species: Spine♀, Algorith♀, Wreckage♀, Emmett♂, Cel♀, "the bear," ♂ "the destroyer," ♀ "mermaid"♀
Too young to bother: Minty♀, Razor♀, Simeon♂, Marigold♀, David♂
Unknown: "honeybee," ♀ "dead red," ♂ "victorian pink," ♀ "oni girl"♀, etc.


Are there any nonhumans in your system? If so what kind?
Technically, we're all "nonhuman." Our term of "headvoice" also works as a species name, for lack of a better term, and applies to all of us, both humanoid and beastly, as we all function similarly at heart. However, yes, most of us still pass for humans at a glance, albeit painted in technicolor hues of course.
As for those who are obviously not humanoid, we have a decent amount, although again they are not the majority-- which is admittedly a shock, as our original hosts had almost exclusively internal lives and therefore associated constantly with nonhumans. However said nonhumans were tied to an entirely different sort of inner world than ours, and therefore that massive split in function likely contributed to us appearing far more human than those non-traumatized individuals.

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@ 11:53 pm

3. tattoos i have
8. top 5 (insert subject)
9. tattoos i want
13. life goal(s)
16. favorite movie
17. a fact about my life
20. anything you want to ask


etothefifth asked: 16!

Aha this is the toughest question.
I don’t watch many movies, and I even tend to only remember them if they have some sort of creative impact on me— if not, I’ll probably forget it entirely.
On such film that has stayed with me for years is Metropolis— specifically the one based off the manga by Osamu Tezuka.
Of course I loved the artwork, setting, and characters, but the plot is what caught me the most strongly. It deals with a future society in which robots are commonplace, but are basically seen as cheap mechanical labor. However, many ‘bots display a sort of rudimentary but obvious awareness of their existence. Thus many ethical questions arise, around politics and morality mostly. Then a political figurehead tries to put a robot in power! Tensions rise and explode into revolution, and ultimately the fate of the entire world hangs in the balance.
It’s fascinating really. I have a real soft spot for that sort of thing (at least two of my personal creative series deal with similar concepts) so of course I was immediately hooked.
Honestly though I LOVE Tima, she is really dear to me as a character. I won’t tell you about her because spoilers, but she’s fantastic. (Duke Red is also ridiculously pretty and despite his flaws I like him a lot.)
This is also the first movie that made me weep openly at the ending, both from shock and emotional impact. So that’s notable.
Other movies I remember fondly are Inception, Rise of the Guardians, A.I.,
and Pokemon 3: Spell of the Unown (really).

celestriakle asked: 3/9 (idk if you have or want any tattoos; if no, top 5 shapes) 16 17

I don’t have any tattoos, but I’ve been wanting to get at least one since I started high school! What I’d get is still undecided, although these have been the longest-running ideas:
1. The personal symbols for all our System’s “Outspacers” up the inside of my left arm.
2. The personal symbols for the Guardians in Dream World up the inside of my right arm.
3. "Chaos is power, enriched by the heart" right in the middle of my chest. (No one is surprised)
4. Laurie once wanted me to get “Vigilance” on my right hand and “Compassion” on my left, I think.
5. FROST* lyrics, somewhere. Cliche, maybe, but Black Light Machine did have a massive impact on my life progression so I kind of feel indebted.
6. If I ever feel like being daring as hell, I’d get that weird “lotus mark” on my lower abdomen (that I have in headspace) tattooed. Infi would be proud.
Mainly, any and all tattoos I’d get would have to do with either headspace, or the Leagueworlds. They’re the only things in my life that have proved to be ‘permanent’ enough to merit a similar physical representation.
Top 5 shapes though, you know me too well! For whatever reason I am completely enamored with geometric shapes.
Unsurprisingly the simplest answer to this question is to Google “sacred geometry.” All that stuff is like liquid gold to my eyes; I could stare at it for hours and I know that because I have, haha.
As for more general shapes:
Hearts(❤) and stars(★) are up top, as they are my personal motif. Symbolically they’re both fascinating as well.
I actually really like diamonds(♦). They’re very elegant, but they have a feeling of authority or respect to them. Triangles are also awesome but diamonds are less ‘harsh’ in essence. (Synesthetically, for me triangles are usually lime green and diamonds are dodger blue.)
Crosses are also super cool (+). They’re perfectly balanced, but almost iconic. My favorite thing about them is their symmetry, and the fact that they feel mathematical instead of just visual. It’s hard to explain but I really like it.
Lastly I’m just going to say SPHERES, if they count. I especially like holding spherical things; their surface area feels almost infinite, how it just flows nonstop. It’s super cool.
I just answered 16 for etothefifth, so lastly here’s a fact (or three) about my life.
First off, most basic: I live in Pennsylvania. (I don’t know if that was ever said here.) It’s pretty great; there are trees everywhere and we virtually never have severe weather. Plus we get LOTS of snow in the winter.
I lived in Utah for about 6 months total, right on the edge of SLC, and although I loved that too I could never last very long in a city environment. I need solitude, rolling hills, and green things; the desert does not mesh well with me.
I don’t remember most of my life prior to age 18 (thanks DID) so I can’t answer this question very well. But I guess that’s a fact too.
And now I’m going to give you facts about my parents because why not! (They basically define my ‘external life’ anyway, so.)
My dad is a really boss auto restoration mechanic. His work is meticulous. He used to draw pinstripe flames all over my tablets in elementary school; I loved it. He loves classic and blues rock, and introduced me to Todd Rundgren, Jeff Beck, and Queen, as well as many other fantastic artists. He has a ridiculously good memory for musical data, often around the histories of his favorite artists, which is always interesting to listen to. He’s also INCREDIBLE at building things. Honestly this guy will completely reupholster and refurnish his apartment for fun. He will build his own furniture AND do the floors/ walls/ electricity by hand, all with professional quality and precision. He has the patience of a saint. He’s a super cool and chill dude overall; I have a ton of respect for him.
My mom is a wannabe movie star but she’s worked at a hospital for 20 years (respiratory; she literally saves lives weekly). She’s a fairy princess at heart (dead serious) and I admire the fact that she has never lost that sparkly-eyed wonder and enthusiasm for life. She used to paint, but she still writes poetry and song lyrics, sometimes even for my music (which is really awesome). She’s a major foodie; she is always cooking and trying new recipes. She loves to travel too, just to see what’s out there. Most of all she has got one hell of an eye for design, in both art and fashion. She does tons of crafts in her spare time, from scratch, because “I just had an idea and wanted to see if I could do it.” And she always does! She has no fear of expressing herself and she has boundless care for those dear to her.


pojoisnowit asked: 8. top 5 happiest/most inspiring moments of your life 13. life goal(s)16. favorite movie 17. a fact about my life and 20. who do you look up to and why?

16 and 17 were already answered, so let me answer 20 first.

I’m not sure if I’ve ever really “looked up to” anyone. Even as a child, I never had any role models, and the concept was foreign to me. Sure, there were people I admired for various reasons— notably my grandmother, for her care and unfailing determination, and my favorite creative minds, for the sort of work they were able to produce— but I didn’t aspire to any of them.

Hm. Honestly if I “look up to” anyone, it would be my theoretical “future self.” Who I could be if I continue to try my hardest. I look at everything I admire in others, and instead of holding that above my own head, I always think: "with enough time and effort, I could accomplish that same thing. I could be that same way. If I truly want it, all I have to do is genuinely pursue it, and I will reach that goal." So I look up to myself. I want to be myself. I love and admire everything I am, and so I do not regret what I am not. I can always change that if I wish.
13, life goal(s). This is another question I’ve never quite been able to answer, because I’ve never really given much concrete thought as to the “future.” It was a foreign concept for much of my childhood, and when I got older I was always so focused on the here-and-now that it remained as such.
However, it’s been a constant that I do want to “complete and publicize” my creative works someday, however that manifests. I want to get them out there, in the hands of other people. Simple as that.
In the bigger picture though, I want to heal all this internal nonsense I’ve been ‘struggling with’ for years. Headspace has made massive progress on that recently, but the oldest roots are the toughest. However we won’t give up. That’s really my only goal… continue to grow, continue to shine brighter, continue to open up and love more. I want to be a warrior of the spirit, essentially. I want to be a powerful but compassionate example of everything the System and I work towards accepting more fully, all that good stuff. Really it’s more about “realizing” than “becoming;” it’s just getting out of my own way, taking the blinders off, letting go of all the excess nonsense that just holds me back. It just ‘takes time,’ as it were. So if that counts as a life ‘goal,’ then there it is!

Now for my top 5 happiest and/or most inspiring moments, not events. Hm.

1. I have to mention July 7th 2011, even if it’s the ‘obvious answer’ and even if it was more than just one moment. It just had such incredible, far-reaching aftereffects, because of how inspiring and joyful it ultimately was.
2. Similarly, October 2nd 2012. The “if you were waiting for a sign” moment, specifically the look of incredulous joy in response to it. You personally know all about that one, as it happened right in your apartment and thank you both for allowing us that opportunity. Honestly even though I don’t remember that entire year, there is this crushingly tangible bliss tied to that memory bank nonetheless and I cannot ever deny that.
3. The moment I first saw a certain completed art commission back in October 2009, which basically knocked my heart right out of the ballpark, good Lord. Honestly I still can’t look at it without smiling like a lovestruck idiot; it’s great.
4. Summer 2011, logging into my old Facebook account and seeing a message that I had dreamed of but never expected. Her exact words still glow in my heart, and I smile every time I think of that one tiny but astronomical communication between us.
5. The exact look on Laurie’s face at the end of this conversation. It was the first time I ever saw her smile like that, and I’ll never forget it.
Now it is 3AM and I am falling asleep standing up, so that’s it for tonight.

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@ 11:58 pm

*AGGRESSIVELY TRIES TO FIGURE OUT HIS FAN GEN DETAILS*
Really though I'm probably trying too hard, you know me.
It's just that I want to dive headfirst into this community at long last (it's been a decade already) and all the lovely art and updates in the Engelbaum tag are a clarion call at this point, haha.

Anyway. I've always felt a powerful pull towards White, with Pink a close second and Amber following. However, if my Gen is effectively "the chaotic part of yourself that is normally suppressed," they are going to end up being quite a handful, if our previous System Cores are any indication. So I'm not sure what color that collective attitude would 'canonically' mesh with? There's a lot of wiggle room, so to speak. I guess we'll have to wait and see.
In any case it gives me an excuse to do more soul-searching, which is arguably my favorite pastime. my therapist will be proud




july 1st!

Jul. 1st, 2014 11:59 pm
prismaticbleed: (held)

 

 

All right, so. TODAY.

Philadelphia was GORGEOUS. It was sunny and nice out, we got to walk a few blocks to the place, I was really centered so all the sights and sounds and colors and smells were super clear. Everything felt beautiful. I forgot how much I love cities.
There was one moment when I was crossing the street in front of this old fancy building, and Laurie appeared momentarily to my left, saying "we used to have a whole city like this, kid," before she went back upstairs. But that stuck in my head as I looked back up and around-- I had never realized how enormous cities are on the inside! Like those buildings are full of things, so many floors and rooms, and they're not empty. I think most of the skyscrapers in Central were placeholders, so to speak-- a lot of them were hollow, acting more as light beacons than buildings, and overgrown with trees. Really, we didn't even have streets until the lockout period last year; there was just floating space, almost infinite, going down into glowing depths. So yeah, walking through Philly and suddenly realizing the sheer size of the place, both in terms of buildings and population, was amazingly overwhelming. I treasured my time there.
My case worker and her supervisor (who drove me down; they are such sweethearts) stopped at the Reading Terminal Market on the way out to buy cookies, I had to smile at that, they were so psyched over it. Also I rode in four different elevators and didn't get nervous, take that lingering claustrophobia! Really, I ride elevators all the time in dreams, and I like them then. So I just decided to bring that mindset into reality today.
Overall I was very, very present during the trip, which was great. My head's been noisy lately so having it be so clear and quiet was such a blessing. Maybe I should thank the total lack of sleep.
Oh, no, no I know who I have to thank as well. Since I only got 4 hours of sleep tops, the trip to the city was spent half-awake, listening to SOHN on my CD player, and talking to Chaos Zero. Maybe I shouldn't even call it talking. He doesn't always get out of bed until late, so he was still lying in it when I showed up, and so we both just sat on the edge of it and listened to the music for at least a half hour. I love when we're both soporific; the mood is so much nicer. Also, yes, during that time period I told him about my worries with the empathy bleedover, negatively? And I paid close attention to what I was radiating, and how he was reacting, etc... yeah, that theory seems to be absolutely true.
I think at one point he formed a Starlink with me and just quietly showed me a lot of past memories, things from Jewel's timeline that I had forgotten or didn't really recall, things from his perspective... I remember seeing the past *incidents* before Genesis joined us, mainly. It was notable because he was reminding me of what he remembered, not what I assumed-- I have a very bad habit of projecting onto people, and not realizing what they're actually feeling because "shouldn't it be this way?" "i thought it was this way," et cetera. And being an Outspacer I unfortunately project fandom perspectives onto him, that don't and can't apply, because they don't match his experiences in this timeline... BUT both the canon and the fanon have been creepily similar to how I know him, over the years. So I get confused. But you know that. Nevertheless I miss the Starlinks so much; again, I treasure those shared memories so much, as well as that temporary direct link into his own mind, completely trusting and sincere. I really do revere that as much as I love it.

Where were we. Philadelphia. There was synchronicity EVERYWHERE, numbers were jumping out of every location. I saw 1111 at least three times, lots of 222s, a few 444s and 555s, you get the picture. And everyone I interacted with there was so nice. The ladies in the elevators, the dudes on the streets, the cashiers at the Terminal-- and especially everyone at the Center I went to, they are always nice though. My doc has the craziest blue eyes, plus I don't think he blinks much, it's funny. He has a salt-and-pepper beard and is always smiling, he kept shaking my hand and giving me Laurie-style bops on the shoulder, it was adorably awesome. It made my day actually.
But yeah, HORMONES ARE HAPPENING and I am absolutely psyched. I don't have them on hand yet because the insurance company is all "dude we need authorization because your gender marker doesn't match this product" but the center is going to call them about it, and my pharmacy said that afterwards they'll have it there ASAP. So yeah, I'm super happy about that. I'm content though, too, because so many years and journeys led up do this, it's not rushed or manic, it's a peaceful informed decision. So I'm just very happy about this, I'm smiling all evening.

Oddly the depression hit horribly when I got home? Temporarily. I had some slight food trouble (I didn't eat all day), not bad but enough to make me feel grimy and sick, mostly because of the awful heat. But I don't remember that whatsoever, there's just data that it happened. Someone must have switched out. That's upsetting, that that sort of thing still occurs, but I'll hold on to forgiveness and compassion there, that's the only thing that can heal such behavior, as it's the result of a lot of pain and sadness.
But yeah that didn't get bad, it was coped with? Somehow. I'm really glad. All I know though is that I almost passed out from the heat, I actually had to soak my clothing in ice water and sit in front of a fan with them on, seriously that got me cooled off real quick. I have to laugh at that, I didn't realize it was July 1st, this morning (5AM) my Tumblr feed was full of Christmas stuff (Christmas in July, see?) and I burst out laughing, it was great. I love that season. I also love how Javier literally smells like it, all cloves and nutmeg and warm candles. Have him stand next to Nathaniel, who smells like pine trees and spruce, and then we've got Christmas going on!

I spent some time with Chaos this evening, around 10PM I think? Time completely lost all meaning then, so I don't know if we were together for 5 minutes or an hour, and I don't care because it was utterly gorgeous. I miss that too, these small but honest connections. I miss him. I keep downplaying my total love for him, how much I adore him, I don't know how I ever doubted it. I miss him and I miss feeling this ardent love with him, even for short (infinite) periods of time, out in the quiet summer air under the stars. And of course I miss the mental rainbow confetti, haha. Geez that blows my mind, I cannot put into words what that feels like whatsoever, just believe me when I say it is overwhelmingly lovely. It's literally 'sweet' in a psychological sense if that makes sense? Like color-wise it's all rainbow cloud swirls (with Laurie it's geometry), but as for how it feels it is actually sweet, I have no other word for it. NOT sugar sweet though, that's the wrong kind. More like... roses. Vanilla flowers. Spring rain. It's light, delicate, intimate, beautiful. Not fragile, but not overwhelming, not sharp. It's the perfect light pink color, pure true affection. It's what Infi radiates when ze's feeling idealistic, is that the right word? CZ's usually that rich aquatic depth color so having such a soft pink hue with him today was really unique but incredibly memorable. Really I wish I could express it in visuals or something, it was so beautiful. Heaven feels like that, it's got to.

Genesis's 9TH BIRTHDAY is this Friday, seriously that is one heck of a long time, happy birthday babe. I have no idea what we're going to do for it, but I'm not worried. This is the first time I've been around to celebrate his birthday, so I'm looking forward to it. I love him a lot, he's my best friend and I am so thankful to have him here. I'm sad that he hasn't been around much lately but he's not dim in terms of perception, thankfully. He always makes an effort to show up, even for a few moments, and that means so much to me.
We'll have to spend all day on the 3rd listening to Earth Wind & Fire and Chicago, in memory of that pre-date that neither of us were around to remember, haha. Irony! But it's fun. It's good music too.

Sorry I'm typing oddly, I didn't get much sleep of course.
HOWEVER that is because I've been confirming THIS for the past two hours!



YES THAT IS THE NEW SPECTRUM COLOR FLOWCHART LINEUP.
It's gorgeous, seriously as soon as I sketched that I thought "THAT'S IT" and it does work beautifully, absolutely beautifully. There was always geometry hidden in the Spectrum "loops" of the past but this is just the COOLEST so far. I'm psyched.
Here, have some straight lines too, because Black and White DO fit into the "flow" direction this way.


So there we go! This just feels "right" so I'm not going to mess with it anymore.
I'll talk more about it tomorrow. All you need to know right now is that only the Lime Core has an unknown holder, because no one knows what Cel's deal is. Surprisingly, Aqua and Cyan are solidly spoken for, as far as things go right now.
(btw the ENTIRE Outspacer phenomenon seems to have TOTALLY SHIFTED so more on that as it happens, I don't know if the old stuff applies at all anymore)
Oh yeah, next up are the color symbols. They apply to ENERGY, not people, and I think they're based on synesthesia? That feels most correct when I try. But we'll see. I'm excited either way. This sort of work gives me joy, especially since it's based around these people that I love and admire. I just always liked this sort of technical art, from a 3rd person perspective. I'm just the dude organizing all the rainbow geometry, don't mind me dear.

Last but not least, to all you lovelies in the Akuna System, I apologize for not getting back to you lately but things have been busy. I did get your messages and I will respond as soon as I can, and I will also start trying to sketch things as soon as I feel the capability to, promise. You're all lovely and we do need to talk more, Laurie says we need to talk more too, I get the hint love. It's just that Xanga sessions take upwards of 5 hours every time and that's sometimes tricky to pull off. Ah what the heck though, I miss them, I miss you, we need to reconnect mentally, things are slippish and that needs to be put back in tune. Let's chat it up then, how about tomorrow evening or Thursday, nothing's booked then that I know of. Sounds like a plan, let's do it. Laurie is laughing, I know I sound ridiculous at this hour, she says "no it's just adorably hilarious." How did I guess!

Infi I love you too dear, ze was shielding me with hir wings through Philadelphia by the way, ze hasn't done that in months and I forgot how powerfully beautiful it feels. But it helped so much, I'm not always too keen at shielding myself from energy overwhelm, Genesis knows that very well, so Infi stepped up to shield me big-time since we were in a big-time city! But it was lovely, as I said. I liked the sunlight and trees on the streets, and looking in the windows of places, all the people that I didn't know but who are all part of this big picture just as I am. You can see the universe in anyone's eyes, if you look honestly enough. It's easy to see. It's amazing really. I like to do that, lately life feels so nice, even with the days of "existential depression" that hit, the good days and moments are so intensely spectacular that they are worth walking on for. Ryman said something like that once. And Genesis is "hope" to me, like he said I am to him, a long time ago. Also when I had to get a medical receipt for the mum, Infi reminded me of the yogurt shop again today too, the one where we sat in the car in front of it and I joked about snogging hir if ze were there. I think that day was my birthday? Or the day before. Headvoice/heartvoice birthdays aren't quite so literal; for people who show up strong all-at-once like Laurie that is their birthday, but for those who "fade in" like me, the birthday is the first important date that they felt truly conscious, and aware as their own individual. I don't have ANY individual memories until October 8th 2013, then nothing until the 21st or so, and from November on I was good. I'm trying to review stuff. But yes, it was nice for Infi to remind me of that, I didn't even think of it. Ze also tried walking on a car like Genesis always does (old injokes ahoy!) and it was adorably hilarious, just like me Laurie, because you know how Infi walks with those legs (very graceful actually, very pretty) and ze was giggling because seriously, who walks on cars. Crazy people like us that's who. Todd Rundgren just came on Spotify, "A Treatise On Cosmic Fire III" actually. His old stuff is so cool.

Anyway. Sleep is needed, it's 1AM. I love you guys, thanks for reading, I'm doing well, today was so nice. I hope your day was too!

 



 

 

 

prismaticbleed: (held)

Energy for headspace people!
Sight: What their energy field looks like, literally. (OR: a "realm-like" manifestation of their energy??)
Sound: New perception. Difficult to pick up on; indirect.
Smell: The 'vibe' of their energy; most easily perceived.
Touch: The actual physical 'feel' of their energy-- like touching their 'aura.'
Taste: New perception. Difficult to pick up on; indirect.
Vibe: The overall perceived effect their energy on their personal presence, especially in charged situations.



(UNFINISHED. Will add as I get information.)


SPINE HYPOMONE
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Cool stone, a hint of cocoa or something?
Touch: Dry, but smooth; reassuringly solid yet not heavy. Like a bone.
Taste:
Vibe:


AIMEE
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Like something baking in an oven? Not bread! Comforting,
Touch: Soft but "primal?" Like minky or even chamois, but with a subtle gamey sort of heat to it.
Taste:
Vibe:


SPICE
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Strong cinnamon, nutmeg, maybe clove? Very warm yet grounded, no 'pinch.'
Touch: Surprisingly sparked? Like little sharp pricks of heat?
Taste: Think pie spices, then crank it up to eleven. Warm and autumny, but hits like a punch to the mouth!
Vibe:


OVERLOAD
Sight:
Sound:
Smell:
Touch: Incredibly volatile base, like if you push a tiny bit too hard it will explode terribly.
Taste:
Vibe:


BRAXTON
Sight:
Sound:
Smell:
Touch: A small soft edge, but with a huge power underneath it.
Taste:
Vibe:



JAVIER ANASTASI
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Cloves?
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:



PREVIOUS J (SPLINTERED INTO EROS)
Sight: Deep red-velvet waves; flows like heavy satin. Has an 'unseen' glow like an ivory candle. 'Sparkly' thin edge, like a glitter-glass ornament
Sound: Subsonic: a soundless hum that resonates in the chest; almost rhythmic, like heart energy, but unbroken. Has an oddly Nier-like, rich symphonic feel despite this.
Smell: Like fire,
Touch: Intimately warm, has a sort of gentle 'pull' to it
Taste: Rich like warm raspberry sauce, but with a dense 'sorbet' texture? Non-sugary sweetness.
Vibe: Emotionally close, compassionate, soft. Limitless but not oppressive. Powerfully protective yet tranquil; like being embraced by a winter fireplace. Sunlit stained-glass.


RAZOR
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Blood and paper, very specific
Touch: Like the sharp, slick edge of a blade: on the boundary between safe/smooth, and slicing your hand open. Gives you chills.
Taste: Like a wound? Hot with an edge of blood but that's not prevalent. Oddly sweet, but the sensation is unsettling.
Vibe: Oddly neutral, but with a nervous undertone on 'standby.'



LYNNE STABELLE
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Violin rosin and burnished wood, like the inside of a violin
Touch: Heavy satin? Warm, but in a 'glowing' sense. Like a roll of it too?
Taste:
Vibe:


KALISHA
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Peach brandy?? Light scent but still notable.
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


HYAKINTH
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Creamsicle and some sort of strong white flower?
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


FIG
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Honey! Very heady, heavy sweet.
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


ALGORITH
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Not much, mostly the 'flatness' of technology. Subtle scent of live machinery, like a hot computer tower.
Touch:
Taste: Warm metal with a vague aura of persimmon or something??
Vibe:


JOSEPHINA BELLAMEIRE
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Bubblegum and brandy? Can't quite pick it up yet.
Touch:
Taste: Cane sugar with a bunch of either lemon (flavor, not citrus) or ginger? Cookie-sweet, but with a bright heat to it.
Vibe: City night-life lights, but unfocused;


SIMEON
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Something like custard or banana cream, but with nowhere near as much sugar?
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:



MAVERICK
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Vague edge of cigarette smoke in fabric, NOT like my dad though. Think straight-up smoke.
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


MARIGOLD
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Ragweed and marigold flowers, varies depending on mood?
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


KARISSA
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Citrus? Like restaurant lemon???
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe: Sharp? Clean and small but cuttingly so.


NATHANIEL VICTOIRE
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Mint (quiet, sweet, no bite) and forest shade. Slight fabric-esque hint?
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


SERGEI
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Subtle sage smoke, undertone of something papery like thin tree bark
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


MINTY
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Mint tea and clothesline-aired plushie fluff. Happy and calming.
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


EINSATZ
Sight:
Sound:
Smell:
Touch: Slight static pop?
Taste:
Vibe:


EMMETT
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Like a salad???? You silly snake.
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


TOBIKO
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Like seawater, either bad (brackish, slimy) or good (like a beach, salty with algae) depending on status
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


GARRISON
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Like a business suit or chair. Dude get some variety in there
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


KYANOS
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Like clear cool sky, with a little tint of honey. Very light.
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


WALDORF KALLIOPE
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Oddly plastic or vinyl-like, but with some sort of happy heady blueberry-juice undertone?? Very 'subtle' despite its strength.
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe: I'm getting an impression of a tangled knot of christmas lights, but immersed in jello or something. really odd.



MISSY
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Face powder, chokingly so, and lip gloss (strawberry? very artificial, generically 'sweet')
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


GENT
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Like a scarf? Odd to explain.
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


NIENNA
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Like a jewelry box?? Not dusty, more like curtain fabric and silver?
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


LEON KIASI
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Ice, with a vanilla undertone? Hard to get.
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe: A nervous charge?


DAVID
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Like a kid's air-dried blanket, but also softly sweet? Not a bad smell at all, it's highly comforting.
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


"AIRPORT"
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Like an airport. Dead serious.
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


LAURIE UBERICH
Sight: CHANGED: It's still halo-like, but its this intense condensed light, gold-white? Around her body I keep getting a feeling of flower petals or rose vines? not sure.
(Metallic? Broken into pieces somehow? Somewhat "radial," like a halo)
Sound:

(Somewhat dissonant, like angry church bells. Feels purposeful but pained.)
Smell:

(Blood, cold steel. Something in the background like antiseptic or a thunderstorm?)
Touch:

Sharp static "bite" at first, like barbed wire, but beneath is a solid, deep, "safe" feeling mass of energy? feels huge but reactive, like if you push too hard it'll detonate
Taste: Blood, but

(Blood again, very strong.)
Vibe:

(Overwhelmingly magnetic: black hole-grade intensity. Space 'compresses' to a dense space around her.)


CHRISTINA MARIE
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Like Sunday church in spring: daffodil-daisy flower bouquets and an afterthought of incense?
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


ISADORA
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Grapevines?
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


JULIE ENANTIOS
Sight: A layered pinkish-warm glow? Like a light orb shining through blankets. Moves languidly but not lazily. Egg-shaped?
Sound:
Smell: Roses, like the kind in the wild-- not heady at all, but sunlit and flowery light soft. Lovely really.
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


SUGAR
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Something that pricks at your nose, like ice needles. Underneath, a light sweetness like
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


ASHEN
Sight:
Sound:
Smell:
Touch: Soft but terribly worn and thin, like old velvet curtains or something? Has a sense of pity but lingering loveliness to it.
Taste:
Vibe:


KNIFE
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Woodsmoke, with a deep aura-edge like blackcurrant wine or something
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


MULBERRY DELTA BRANDY
Sight:
Sound:
Smell:
Touch:
Taste: Mulberries: not overpoweringly sweet, and rather dry in a vaguely 'crisp' way
Vibe:


JEREMIAH
Sight:
Sound:
Smell:
Touch: Very soft and embracing, but closely small in the way a warm sweater is.
Taste:
Vibe:


EROS
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Cherry pie filling, not artificial. Very rich, not sugary sweet.
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


SHERLOCK
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Like a library? Old slightly dusky paper, but with no musty or sweet tone. Also a clean cool metallic edge, but without any coppery 'bite.'

Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


JAY IRIDOS
Sight: Vertically limitless? Like the "heaven" in Oneircia. All white and warmly bright, vaguely gold, lit with some gorgeously loving light from above, but not blinding at all. Oddly non-spacial? Despite looking solid it feels like nothing is really there, but the light. Sparkly and quietly iridescent; everything glitters.
Sound:
Smell: Snowy,
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


XENOPHON LEPHISE
Sight: Thick and violet-pink, wavy. Inner light, held within like a neon sign, but 'radiant' in the way heat radiates.
Sound: Like a wind chime or glockenspiel
Smell: Warm, slightly humid night air, with a light and delicate sweetness-- like blackberries or bluet flowers?
Touch: Dense but glowing, warm, gives like heavy water? 'Champagne bubbles' under the surface.
Taste: Blackberries, ice water, japanese ginger? Natural cool sweetness with an almost herbal edge?
Vibe: 'Summer night' humidity, but sparkling, like the stars are pure violet glitter; understated jubilant energy. Not overpowering-- more like thick sunlit crystal


MARKUS BARASHIR
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Dry heat, mocha, ice cubes.
Touch:
Taste: Sand?
Vibe:


RYMAN SAIKARAS
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Marshmallows and dark purple candle fire.
Touch:
Taste: Vanilla?
Vibe:


CHAOS ZERO
Sight: Like the underside of an ocean; glossy, brilliant blue and backlit? Translucent.
Sound: Dare-Gale; emotions played underwater. Highly resonant, like piano keys being dropped into liquid crystal. Echoing, heart-wrenchingly sincere.
Smell: Summer rain, ocean fog. Watery, but not cold or humid.
Touch: Misty, with a bright early-morning 'chill.' Heavy but weightless.
Taste: River water and diamonds
Vibe: Oceanic, flowing, all-encompassing; gentle and 'classy' but powerful. Incredibly deep but not suffocating. Surrounds him like a quiet galaxy. 'Neon glimmer' edge.


CELEBI
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Woodsy, but with a clean edge like fresh cut wet grass?
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


GENESIS APOLYMIS
Sight: 'Thin gold streamers,' moving upwards. Bokeh-like underglow.
Sound: Resonant, warm and deliberate like a golden bell.
Smell: Burnt sugar and ozone? Like butterscotch syrup over an open flame. Rich but not heady.
Touch: Charged like static, but 'sustained' like a plasma globe.
Taste: Warm cotton candy with a strong ginger-like kick? Has a caramelized but clean tint to it.
Vibe: Sharp, almost buzzing, but bright and optimistic.


INFINITII ETERNOS
Sight: A sort of vast shadowy expanse, infinite and star-specked, but with a brilliant light at its heart. The shadows are wispy and soft like clouds, and flow gently around the light. There is a sense of great space and yet incredible closeness; the light is warm and loving like a heart, but although the shadows are colder and thin, giving a feeling of endless vastness, their constant movement around that light keeps the love within them.
Sound: (like "lux aeterna?" choral? sustained, hugely echoic. numinous)
Smell: Cold night air, with a hint of mountain laurel (flowers and incense??)
Touch:
Taste:
rich mouthfeel; taste is enigmatic.
Vibe: Like velvet or a silken shadow; limitless but soft and intimate. Embracing. VERY deep; you fall into hir really.


CHOCOLOCO
Sight:
Sound:
Smell: Dark chocolate, cacao nibs, dark coffee. Mostly rich and bitter, just a hint of dark sweetness to it.
Touch:
Taste:
Vibe:


 

 

prismaticbleed: (held)

 

 

All right, it's almost 10PM but let's try to get at least half our update together before tomorrow.
Today's therapy session was rather difficult, and our 'homework' is to print out all of the trauma memories and/or topics we can find, as self-doubt, fear, memory blocks, and angry fronter buffers are preventing anyone from offering the info in session. I know of a few entries already that we can print but the tough part is going to be figuring out who is going to discuss them? Julie definitely could, but she really hates looking back on what she was, and usually ends up in tears as a result. Laurie, Sherlock, and Isadora can offer varying secondhand data but no experience obviously. Every trauma voice can talk about triggers and related 'vague' memories but they absolutely despise doing so. And then of course, I have my own personal traumatic memories to discuss, post-Julie, except that like her, looking back on those sabotaging decisions is horrifically difficult in every sense.
Tomorrow I think we're going to practice fronting, with those of us who often don't, or who don't have enough experience or 'force' to get through quickly (Wreckage is 'new' but she's already come through strongly several times, although that's typical for Retributors). The 'Victorian Pink' girl is our main focus-- she needs a name, but she is so angry and depressed and existentially distraught that she is almost impossible to talk to or work with yet. And like most of the traumatized voices she is terrified of women, so she won't talk to many of our members. However, Knife is our new healer, and he's the only male Retributor, which basically makes him ideal for the job of directly helping these profoundly damaged children. We asked him if he'd be up for the job after our session, and I swear the man's heart melted on the spot; he sincerely replied that he'd be honored, and he'd absolutely love to do so. So that will hopefully start tomorrow. It's going to be interesting.
In the meantime I have... a lot of tabs open. Thank heavens for this archive though, really.

However let's catch up on last time first!
Here's the makeshift 'headspace chart' I mentioned in our previous entry (open in new tab for full size).



Let's talk about that vertical map first because that is literally what headspace feels like in terms of layering, at least roughly so.
A lot of things have changed post-massacre so I'm going to describe things based on old data; we're still rebuilding and the new locations aren't quite anchored-in yet. So the descriptions here will be based on what headspace was like from approx. 2008 through 2013.

I admittedly had no idea how to map Central (everything above the ground floor in that building) because, with all our additions and modifications, and the fact that it can and does shift freely, it doesn't always adhere to physical space constraints!

At the very top, there's our famous roof. It's actually not quite flat; there are at least two 'tiers' to it, and small steps leading about. The main area (first tier) is where Jeremiah's original "bubble room" was, and where this awesome setup is. The second tier leads to the edge of the roof with an awesome view of the city, and there we have this massive canopy bed that people just chill out on to enjoy the view.
Speaking of views, the sky is awesome. We've got planets and stars and nebulae and auroras and everything. Sometimes there are even planetary rings visible because why not. Surrounding the Central building is the rest of Central City, which is basically the main area of Midspace. Again, the city consists of both buildings and giant crystal towers, and both are of varying heights, with trees and road-like passageways looping and curving between all of it. It feels like a forest to me, although it's not so organic.
Midspace also consists of the areas outside of Central City, which is mostly deciduous forest (to the left), and of course the Rio de Janiero-like beach that opens up to a rather large body of water (to the right), across which is rather tropical land (the forests upstairs are both deciduous and tropical, depending on where you go-- incidentally, Sergei and Hyakin hang out in the former, while Aimee and Emmett prefer the latter).

Going back to the main skyscraper-- the floor marked as "Central" is our main floor, i.e. where we have Xanga sessions. It looks a lot like this. 'Central' arguably spans at least two floors though, as there is this glassy spiral staircase in the far right corner that opens up into a closed stairwell and an open-square landing, with a large window looking outside to your right, and a very pretty crystal chandelier hanging in the middle. Straight ahead is Xenophon's original room, and to the left is the door to my room, which I share with the Outspacers. My room also does not have a "fourth wall"-- to your right when you walk in, there was a little wall with a door to Xennie's room, and then there was just this balcony along the remaining edge, which overlooked the ground floor of Central. We'll get to that in a minute!
Back into Central itself,
(balconies (smaller, with CZ), few small rooms off to the right (ORIGINAL rooms???), stairs down to 'bedrooms')

If you go down the glass stairwell in the corner (not the closed one), it opens up into another floor that we all use as more of a lounge room, or general community room. Both walls cornering the stairwell are glass, and I've only gotten the view from them once-- it was sunset, and was looking out over the edge of the city (there are virtually no buildings behind Central) and the first rolling hills of the Midspace forests. The other large wall facing the city is also mostly glass, with a row of floor-to-ceiling windows. I think some of these swing out like doors? There's a large 'balcony' on that side, which again looks like the Faena House, and it's notable for being the place where we met Kyanos again, the day the Undergrounders first visited Central.

Going down a bit in the map, the little hallway up top (row of doors) represents our personal rooms in Central, although they also feel strongly vertical in terms of placement to each other so again, not sure how to draw it. Only Infi and I don't have rooms there (he has bubblespace and I'm on the top floor). I've also never seen inside Laurie's room and I don't know if she even uses it; she spends most of her time chilling out in mine.
Beneath that, is the ground floor! It's where the closed staircase goes down to (it opens up into this room though), and where my room looks out over (to the left of the stairs, if you're on them). It has a very high ceiling, and at least one of the walls is almost entirely glass (the other walls are painted glossy white). The room is also full of plants! It's really lovely. The first time I ever saw this room, Emmett was playing in it with the Lowspace kids, and the second time I ever saw it was when Waldorf left for a while. (http://lightraye.livejournal.com/449088.html)

Now let's go outside for a bit.


The old Archives were "three floors down" from Central and also included the "simulation room" as data was 'digital' back then?


As for bubblespace, it doesn't have a physical location, as it "floats" in the void.





On the right is a color chart of sorts-- I was trying to figure out how colors lined up from light to dark hues, and was listing the holders in that order. The checkmarks indicate that those colors are held but I'm not 100% sure if that's the correct hue order-- for example, in Violet, Xenophon, Christina, and Isadora all hold lighter hues and I can't quite verify what order they are in in that respect. By the way the order of colors is mostly a visual thing, with the exception of the darkest and lightest slots I think? And those would only seem to indicate personality traits, with the obvious exception of the Pink slots (Knife has always been sweeter than Sugar, ironically).

For the sake of filling you guys in, as I haven't done this in a long time... let me just copy/paste our personal word document concerning color slots and levels here. (♀♂ also added for the sake of simple pronouns.)
♥=Central // ♦=Midspacers, Archivists // ♣=Lowers // ♠=Downstairs // ★=Underground // ✜=Chthonic // ✽=Outspacers
(two symbols means: first, current level-- second, previous or co-held level) (no symbols means unsure, or unknown)


BROWN: SPINE HYPOMONE
BEIGE: AIMEE
TAN: THE DESTROYER? (faceless?)
RUSSET: JAYCE??
(very blurry. may have shifted)
SPICE: SPICE
CHOCOLATE: "OVERLOAD"
BISTRE: "THE BEAR"
RED: JAVIER ANASTASI
CHERRY: ZWEI
RUBY: JEWEL LIGHTRAYE
CRIMSON: EROS (seems to have dissolved)
BLOOD: RAZOR
CADMIUM: CANNON
MAROON: "DEAD RED"
ORANGE: LYNNE STABELLE
PEACH: KALISHA
CORAL: AMARA
TANGERINE: HYAKINTH
HONEY: "THE HONEYBEE" (very blurry; may have dissolved)
BRONZE:

VERMILION: ALGORITH
YELLOW: JOSEPHINA BELLAMEIRE
CREAM: SIMEON (blurry)
SAND: SYLVAIN?? (if not fused with simeon. very blurry)
AMBER: GENESIS APOLYMIS (said he might actually be orange?)
MUSTARD: MARIGOLD
GOLD: WRECKAGE
BURNISH: MAVERICK? (suspected)
GREEN: NATHANIEL VICTOIRE
SAGE: SERGEI
LIME: CELEBREON
CHARTREUSE: "ONI GIRL?" (hard to find)
SHAMROCK: QUEEN?
(suspected)
OLIVE: BRIDGET
(dissolved)
JADE:

AQUA: CZ?? (not anchored into this slot yet)
MINT: MINTY
CYAN: PINSTRIPE? (status unknown; may have dissolved)
AZURE: EINSATZ
TEAL: EMMETT
VIRIDIAN: "MERMAID"
SKOBELOFF: GARRISON
BLUE: WALDORF KALLIOPE
CRYSTAL:
POWDER: MISSY
(dissolved)
SKY: KYANOS (blurry)
SLATE: GENT? (suspected)
SAPPHIRE: RIO SAIKARAS
NAVY: "SINGER" (blurry)
INDIGO: LEON KIASI
ICE: DAVID
SMOKE: "AIRPORT" (faceless)
IOLITE:

DUSK: MARKUS BARASHIR
MIDNIGHT:
???:

VIOLET: LAURIE UBERICH
LILAC: CHRISTINA MARIE
MAUVE: ISADORA
LAVENDER: XENOPHON LEPHISE
FUCHSIA?
PLUM:
PURPLE:

PINK: JULIE ENANTIOS
SUGAR: SUGAR
ROSE: JEREMIAH
VICTORIAN: "VICTORIAN PINK" (blurry)
NEON:

CERISE: MULBERRY DELTA BRANDY
CLARET: KNIFE
BLACK: INFINITII ETERNOS♂♀ + THE TAR
STORM:
GRAY: SHERLOCK
SILVER: MISTER SANDMAN
WHITE: JAY IRIDOS + THE PLAGUE
CLEAR: AUTOPILOT (faceless)

Sharona dissolved (thankfully), Jezebel counts as the Tar, Spinny is faceless and hopefully dissolving. Jessica may or may not have fused with Cannon; those two have been blessedly absent for a while.
And to top it all off, there are at least three suspected people (one obviously yellow) that no one's been able to clearly pin down yet.
But yes, that's everyone that we clearly know of right now.

Every Central color has six surrounding slots, making a seven-color "cell" as far as flowchart visuals would go (I'm sure you remember those). I was getting a "hexagon" feel from the actual slots for a while now, so I was quite surprised to see that the shape actually matched current color counts.




(left unfinished as there was a major innerspace shift shortly afterwards)


 

 

 

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