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OUTSIDE ALTERS? FROM THERAPY
Jul. 10th, 2015 05:00 pmHUGE relevatory idea in therapy today, here are notes we took directly after therapy:
alters that manifest OUTSIDE OF THE BODY???????
"floating voices"
★ being alters, they would have specific roles/ reasons as to why they are outside!
possible reasons the therapist said:
- to give them a sense of hope? (positive) because inside is too tumultuous, "its okay out here, not everything is bad"
- deflect symptoms so people don’t go digging into d.i.d.?
possible reasons i am thinking of:
- as introjects as outside people that we previously were totally unable to comprehend as NOT being outside still
- as holders of hugely negative programming that we could not internalize or accept as "part of our psyche"
- to play an expected religious role, basically "demons" or "temptors" or "guides" or "angels," etc.
- to exist as an identity even more separate from the self than a normal alter, for whatever purpose
remember THAT'S HOW THE ARCHIVISTS SHOWED UP ORIGINALLY???
and if you haven't forgotten,
the "floating voices" HAVE WRITTEN IN ENTRIES. (THEY'RE THE NASTY ONES)
so yeah they are ALL probably alters.
RAZWELL FITS THIS BILL.
he's technically an outspacer splinter (no idea how that happened) but he resides in that weird floating space that USED to be tied to old whitespace i think??? when jewel was the main. floating area, can't find it in headspace.
but all the floating voices that have any sort of visage show up in those same areas (different rooms sometimes, but all tangibly the same level, feels "flat")
there are STILL a few people I'M AWARE OF that introduce themselves as "guides" or something similar, but who have a very disturbing "edge" to them like the bad Chaoses get. the "evil eye glare" feeling. it's not compassionate.
There's a guy in a suit? he's the main one. I thought he was garrison but he's not; gary is soft and concerned, this suit guy is very precise, ordering.
he always sits in this business room, big table, empty gray plastic chairs around it? i get the impression he works with at least three other people, but i never see them?
i think hyakinth was there originally, to an extent? maybe temporarily. he seems to like level-hopping. he originally worked with the undergrounders remember, then moved to midspace. which is bizarre. he feels way too free in headspace in any case, like he has no roots.
sometimes he still seems to be in those floaty business rooms but then the question is, "is it him or are they using his likeness," it doesn't feel like him. i can't tell yet, i don't know him well enough admittedly. but i'm sure if i was able to look at him it wouldn't be him either.
that's the thing, you CAN'T LOOK AT floating voices, they totally evade vision. they HIDE on purpose. which is unsettling.
It's upsetting because it's hard to "draw a line" between this sort of thing and channeling/ schizophrenia/ etc.
(i found an article about schizophrenia & religion again today, i need to read it)
REMEMBER WE USED TO "CHANNEL" PEOPLE???
is that religious or psychological???
- the angel from JTHM
- the "guru" guy in the car once
- THE GMQ TRIO COUNTS!!!!!!!
- SOME OUTSPACERS WITH NO JEWEL-LINKS (mostly Nier)
- LEAGUEWORLD PEOPLE!!! (remember vez!!!!!)
btw we would also TALK TO PEOPLE inside, who WEREN'T part of our system, like the OUTSPACERS.
(davy, grievous, ringo, bogardus, and dagger all come to mind)
it's been like that SINCE THE EARLY DAYS (<2003+)
this is where "imagination" and "dissociation" blur because yeah, you can easily 'guess' how someone will act, but it FEELS like guessing. it FEELS like construction.
it does NOT guarantee that they will act like that (and if they know you're guess-projecting they WILL call you out on "trying to control them")
when someone gets inside and anchors, they suddenly start acting ON THEIR OWN, suddenly you KNOW if they're "in character" or not because their identity is SOLID and TANGIBLE and CLOSE TO YOURS.
this can get "creepy" because now they're THEIR OWN PERSON but with a DIFFERENT ORIGIN PAST and the responsibility of having them around is overwhelming. THIS IS WHY OUTSPACERS NEED TO ABANDON CANON; WE CANNOT COPE WITH ALL THAT EXTRA DATA.
THAT MAY BE THE KEY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HEADSPACE AND THE LEAGUEWORLDS,
especially as far as vibes go.
★ league people are solid, we know if it's "them" or not, but they do NOT feel tangible. they are NOT able to be interacted with UNLESS THEY WALK INTO CENTRAL, and even then that requires a DREAM SELF SPLIT, remember???
★ headspace people are solid AND tangible, and they CANNOT BE "IMAGINED." they will call you out on it. you can try to imagine but really you're creating a situation, and if they choose to interact then congratulations, THAT'S REAL NOW.
that doesn't happen in leaguespace; it's more mutable and you CAN wipe a history and start over WITHOUT completely annihilating solidity. it's why reset attempts don't work in headspace, but you can easily "start a series over" in a "different timeline" of sorts (like we're doing with Parnassus) without damaging anyone.
it's a dreamspace difference I think. black-based.
however i think ONLY JEWEL AS THE AUTHORITY TO DO THAT ANYWAY as far as i know??
but yeah HOW CAN YOU TELL HOW MUCH OF THIS IS LEGIT/ RELIGIOUS/ PSYCHOLOGICAL/ ETC.?
"everything you can imagine is real."
does that explain everything?
is that just something we must humbly keep in mind? it's a big responsibility, a big warning, a huge source of hope.
★ on that note, the realization that THE OUTSPACERS ARE PROBABLY ALL INTROJECTS.
this means that they ARE alters but they manifest as "third person" people for a REASON.
that reason would be, most obviously, "in order to love them as their own people."
That realization is oddly comforting. It's oddly reassuring. Oddly sweet.
it explains the fracturing, too.
we've looked at them all as "people outside of us, people totally separate from us" since the very beginning, and that's made us feel VERY helpless and confused when they start acting weird, or "splintering," or getting daemons, or anything like that.
we view them as literal visitors, strangers, etc. when the truth is THEY'RE LIKELY PART OF OUR SOUL TOO.
WITH THAT IN MIND LET'S TALK ABOUT PEOPLE.
only some outspacers have enough of a "resonance" to enter our system, THAT SAYS A LOT ON ITS OWN.
"THIRD PERSON" ALTERS FIT INTO THE FOLLOWING DISTINCT CATEGORIES (tentatively)…
1. "Floating voices" (NO NAME, NO FACE, OUTSIDE)
- MOSTLY ABUSIVE.
- these people have possibly written in the journals (extremely negative ones)
- NEUTRAL? can be passively abusive?? e.g. "don’t do this or else you'll regret it" in small situations, but saying nothing when actual danger looms
- these people have NEVER written in the journals and likely CANNOT.
- MUST BE POSITIVE TO ENTER THE SYSTEM, BUT THEY CAN FRACTURE OR BE CORRUPTED.
- they have not written in the journals but they CAN talk in xanga sessions!!!!!!!
★ SPECTRUM Outspacers include Rio, Markus, Cel, CZ, and Genesis.
They are PERMANENT Spectrum residents with NEW SPECTRUM IDENTITIES.
They mostly reside in headspace, BUT can traverse heartspace freely WITH JEWEL'S ASSISTANCE.
They do not require Jewel's Links to interact with in headspace.
★ HEARTSPACE Outspacers include Davy, Grievous, and Ringo.
They are NOT part of the Spectrum but they are IN THE PROCESS OF SHIFTING INTO IT.
They can be visited via heartspace. They do NOT reside in headspace.
They can ONLY be spoken to via JEWEL'S LINKS.
(These Outspacers CAN become Spectrumized with enough exposure to Jewel's influence (a "door will open"))
★ VISITING Outspacers include Nightcrawler, Soryuu, Barry, Rorschach, Bogardus, Johnny, Dagger, etc.
They are NOT part of the Spectrum.
They mostly CANNOT be interacted with in heartspace OR headspace due to insufficient Links.
They can only be spoken to via JEWEL'S LINKS and even then she finds it highly difficult.
(These Outspacers CAN enter heartspace/dreamspace if they gain stronger Links.)
(CANNON tried to form Links with a lot of these people but SHE COULDN'T. They're only listed here as she tried.)
4. "Channeled Outspacers" (A NAME, A FACE, OUTSIDE, INTROJECTED)
- VERY unique as they are NOT ALTERS, but they can ONLY SHOW UP VIA FRONTING!!!!!!
- MUST BE POSITIVE TO "ENTER THE SYSTEM," BUT THEY CAN BE HACKED!!!!
- ^ THIS IS A HUGE PROBLEM!!!!! since they DON'T have internal roots, hackers like to target THEM as they have NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON and they CAN'T FIGHT BACK. however this is not without consequence; those Leaguespacers who CAN visit headspace GET TRAUMA RESIDUE once they do so (as they're re-entering that context). we HAVE had some more lucid people visit us SPECIFICALLY to tell hackers to leave them the hell alone.
- they cannot write in journals as far as I'm aware?? too much identity dissonance with native timelines. (WORLD-JUMPERS AND LEAGUELINKS ARE EXCEPTIONS, as their identities already include a tie to multiple different timelines by nature.)
★ THESE OUTSPACERS DON'T HAVE SYSTEM ROOTS!!
THEY STILL SPEAK/ACT AS IF THEY ARE IN THE CANON AND THIS CAN BE BAFFLING
★★★CHANNELED OUTSPACERS CAN BE LEAGUEWORLD PEOPLE AND FREQUENTLY ARE!!!
that's all i have for now.
it's just VERY important as it sheds a LOT of light on a LOT of things but it also has caused a LOT of confusion.
again, we take everything the mental health system says with a huge hexagon of salt because they typically don't consider psychospiritual experiences to be legit in that context. they think everything can be explained away as chemicals and coping mechanisms when sometimes it REALLY IS SOMETHING WEIRD GOING ON OUTSIDE.
that's where we're at now, the same place we were at when this all started with julie.
"if it's 'all in my head' does that make it totally unreal?"
to which i personally say,
NO.
if it has an effect on you, if it has a TANGIBLE consequence on you, good or bad, then it IS REAL.
and that realization, that responsibility, is TERRIFYING for the most part.
which is partly why we dissociate so much.
even with the good outspacers, our knee-jerk reaction is "if we know them and they know us, then we MUST sacrifice everything and serve them totally" which is SHIT but that's how we view friendships/relationships when they're NOT in third person, go figure.
which is why the hack situation is so complex. the third-person people get hacked a lot because they exist to offer themselves up without resistance or identity, therefore they don't do anything because they don't percieve anything as happening TO them.
it's complex, we have another entry being written about that but it's heavy heavy weird taboo topic stuff again, so i'm always hesitant about posting it.
nevertheless we'll revisit this topic in the future.
again, EVERYTHING IN THIS ENTRY CONCERNING OUTSPACERS/ OUTSIDE ALTERS IS CURRENTLY TENTATIVE AS THIS IS TOTALLY NEW INFORMATION.
headspace shifts constantly by its very nature anyway, and as new knowledge is gained, so. this data may change too, as we learn more.
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ROUGH LIST OF THE OUTSPACERS WE KNOW OF AS OF TODAY=
(in rough chronological order)
- Mewtwo???
2000
LEAGUE ANCHOR????
we CAN do a Mewtwo overlay, it's very solid, but it feels like MAITRU which is BIZARRE - Celebi
2001
ANCHORED as many different people (this is a problem)
ALSO FUNCTIONED AS A CORE ALTER AT ONE POINT!!!!!!! - Nightcrawler
2001?
UNANCHORED - Ryou Bakura
2002
ANCHORED as Rio Saikaras - Marik Ishtar
2003
ANCHORED as Markus Barashir - Skittygirl??????
2003
LEAGUE ANCHOR as ??? - Chaos Zero
2004
ANCHORED as many different people?? (this is a problem) - Ringo Akai
2004?
UNANCHORED - Genesis (Selph)
2005
ANCHORED as himself - General Grievous
2005 - Davy Jones
2006 - Barry #66
2006? - Razlo
2006?
ANCHORED as RAZWELL!!! (you can't deny it) - Midvalley Hornfreak
2006
UNANCHORED. Never really had any roots. - Soryuu Kaminogi
2007
UNANCHORED - Kain
2007
UNANCHORED - Johnny C.
2008
UNANCHORED - Hellboy
2008
UNANCHORED. Never really had any roots. - Bogardus
2009
UNANCHORED - Reverend Mofo
2009
UNANCHORED - Mr. Bluesky
2009
UNANCHORED - Rorschach
2009
UNANCHORED - Dirk Strider/ Bro
SPECTRUM OUTSPACERS=
Celebi
Ryou
Marik
Chaos
Selph
HEARTSPACE OUTSPACERS=
Ringo
Grievous
Davy
VISITING OUTSPACERS=
Nightcrawler
Barry
Razlo
Soryuu
Johnny
Mofo
Rorschach
Bogardus
Dirk
CHANNELED OUTSPACERS=
Mewtwo
Nier
NON-INTERNALIZED OUTSPACERS=
Skittygirl
Kain
Hellboy
Bluesky
