sep 11 2015

[prismaticbleed]

Some things.


- They took our knife. They found it and took it and it's gone now. So we are without weapons for the first time in five years. It's scary, we feel so helpless we're not sure what to do. If we can't find an art razor in the house I've promised Razor herself I will buy her one on Monday.

- To make things worse, we had a triple hack nightmare last night, which was horrific because it involved the brother's girlfriend spying on us naked and then repeatedly trying to rape us. who in the world has nightmares like that. why. that is not normal. but yeah we woke up in heavy pain and nausea so bad we almost called off work, honestly i cannot remember EVER feeling that sick to my stomach. waking up with the body literally heaving and trying to vomit, stomach churning, entire body feeling like it went through a haybaler. it was hellish. but after three hours it was gone. so thank god.

- we scrubbed down a corvette for three hours at work whee it was great. we were very very tired (4 hours of sleep + nightmares) but we managed. tried to talk upstairs but too exhausted. so wally laurie and jo just hung around and kept the fronters company.

- did i mention, dalton's role has basically solidified into "someone who loves cars" so he's the best to work because he really does love them, he's careful as ever and very precise with his work. which is so nice. but yeah he's a stable enough social although, being a 'baby' practically in terms of age, he can't front for very long yet. he's got an anchor but he's still growing.

- jay went to wegmans yesterday to return something and noticed they had the quarter-turn toy dispensers by the registers? and one had little "birthstone bear" keychains. so he decided to get one for minty. 75¢ later and we now have a little amethyst bear, in a plastic bubble with an indigo bottom. he gave it to minty and she was OVERJOYED. she was actually tearing up from how happily she was laughing over the gift, really she was so happy. she said that's the current "violet bear" now, she's going to treasure it forever. she showed david too, as the bubble cap was effectively his color, he smiled at that. he's healing too; he's not as angry as he was, he feels like he's getting a little older?? it's so odd to see people in here grow up. but as long as he's doing better i will accept it as it is.

- razwell hasn't been negative in a while either. at least three times over the past week his old job has been triggered loudly (laughing rather boorishly at things that aren't funny but which we are expected to laugh at, causing a sort of self-dissonance depression) and instead of falling into that programmed harmful behavior, he said NO. like he actually stood up to the "obligation" and said he would not laugh at it, "it's not something to be laughed at/about," etc. it's amazing, to see HIM healing his existence anchor after so very long. we could all learn a lot from his resolve.

- i've been cataloguing colors for the leagueworlds lately and last night, i went to make a coherent list of them for lg*girls (because it has a strict system for their assignment). turns out i made a minor mathematical error. which means we need one more usable color. and five more kids. which, actually, turns out to fit with the budding plot perfectly and i never would have figured that out if i hadn't checked and revised the color system. fun stuff! so yeah lg*girls MIGHT be getting an actual storyline soon, pray for it. i love that series for its sheer creative inspiration, but there's no depth to it at all yet. but there's a sprout. it'll grow.

- yesterday was, as far as we are concerned, officially the first day of autumn. it smelled like HEAVEN outside. so we were so so so happy, jay was euphoric for several hours straight. autumn and winter are our glory months; autumn is our "new years" and it's very alive and magical and it carries a lot of hope and determination and joy. furthermore, this year all our low-spectrum color people (spine, javier, lynne, josephina) are saying they want to work together in the autumn? which is REALLY nice, mainly because for unknown reasons the original child(ren) held a strong but inexplicable fear of those colors, especially in combination. the later parts of autumn especially, the "harvest time," still elicit a sort of gut-deep panic in us. like real shaking fear. why? we dont know. but it affects josephina the most. he's resolved to heal that color however possible so we are all trying to help. idea is, make "color collages" of positive things to have a visual reminder, to reprogram that color's associations bit by bit. it would be fun, we want to try.

- took out the "wrinkle in time trilogy" from the library yesterday, because due to 2013 those books have become permanently associated with falling leaves and brisk warmth and the real cozy comfort of autumn. also proginoskes. we love him.

- again speaking of autumn, we may have to check out "dune" again soon because last winter is a shambles of memory due to all the pain/ fear/ anaesthesia, and the beginning of this year is also a horrid mess due to hormone reversion on top of it all. so all our current problems with self-abuse and eating disorders have their roots almost EXACTLY a year ago. so. we are going to try and "recreate" the environments of those memory contexts so we can tap into those vibes and HEAL whatever in the world was about back then. lots of archive reviews will be required too, probably going to start those tomorrow.

- what else. music. spotify is wonderful. we keep finding new stuff, we'll need to post more of it on tumblr. also we're trying to write more music... mage angels, lg*girls, and rosewindow mostly. those have the most accompaniments needed, i.e. they have the most stuff up and ready to write for. so we can play with ideas for those freely, not so with things like dream world and event horizon. but yes music is happening. slowly but surely so we dont burn out right off the bad through overwork. music is lovely.

- nothing else for today i guess. today was kind of rough, with how sick we were, then we apparently had a bit of an emotional conversation with the grandmother, apologizing for our problematic behavior due to illness and trying to explain to her why it's tough and how we're trying to improve, and she genuinely listened and TALKED to us about it. which is so so so nice. there was a time when she wouldn't have. so we are deeply grateful. we do love her alot, so much it hurts, we just wish we could show it better.

- now i have mint-ginger tea on the stove and i've gotta get it so bye kids

 

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@11:01 PM

 

So I went into the kitchen to have some mint-ginger tea, and this happened. I have to write it down.


Jay: Lynne, have some tea.
Lynne: Oh, thank you Jay. *tries it* Mm, it's really good. *to Laurie* You want some?
Laurie: Nah, I'm not much of a drinker. Or an eater. So, thanks but no thanks?
Lynne: *smiling* That's okay, I just thought I would ask. *then, still looking at laurie with an amused stare, she loudly sips the tea*
Laurie: Are you slurping at me.
Lynne: *serious stare + very loud slurp*
*she bursts out laughing and laurie does too*



cute people.