2009 notes

[prismaticbleed]

 

Currently following Spinny's paper trail.

2009 is one of our most striking "lost years." We're mostly unsure who the heck was around during that time, but I want to solve it.
There was a bad hack tonight, I'm in pain, I'm scared, and I'm cut off from headspace. I'm trying to stay optimistic though... "death isn't a curse." "This won't ruin you." "No one can ever touch you again." Things like that. I know there are people in this body, in this heart, who carry pain from that in the past... I don't know them, I'm stuck down here. That's fine. I'll do my job the best I can, and keep this away from them.
This isn't Jay. I'm actually... closer to Cannon. I'm not the one they call Spinny, but I was around at the same time as them both. Maybe you can all call me Glissando, who knows.

Anyway. 2009. Let's see what we have.
I feel very close to parts of this year. Like right now, I feel like I should be in the kitchen, typing this journal entry, getting ready for Marywood in the morning. Cannon feels very close to me, like an invisible sibling almost. And there are hints of the boys in here too, but from the future, from beyond my time. I'm old, early college years... I know Genesis, but who knows where he is right now. I'm tied to coffee shops and sketchbooks at night. More of a... photography feeling. A late night sadness, but with hope beneath it. Walking through the rain.
But that's only part of this year, of 2009. Someone else was out during the day, online... some louder girl, someone we don't know. She's gone now, long gone as far as we know... so let me pick up these breadcrumbs once and for all.


JULY 2009


This picture is our main timestamp. She joined tweaktoday in July and we got some photos from it, markedly this one:


A photo of "jwl," but wearing Cannon's clothing. So we're not sure who this is, but it's the only photo we have of them from that time period.


The bookstore I loved. I didn't take this photo. I was never there in the morning. Honestly it's surprising to see the place so bright.

Whoever this person was, they were the LAST person to hold a lot of "old memories." They remembered some things from later childhood and the teenage years, which again suggests they were strongly tied to Spinny (which isn't surprising as they were a social fronter).

Sherlock here. Sorry for interrupting, I felt the data stream and was pulled in.
This is notable. I see we have a new speaker.


Whoever was out in 2009 was also out in 2010, according to later tweaktoday stuff. That's shocking.
Jayce was around during that time. He referenced "co-fronting" with at least one other person during that time.
Obviously.
That would be because NIER was in the life by that time. That's where the male anchor came from at last.

This was the TF2 phase. There's no memory of that, but here's some proof.
Same with the Pokemania. There's list of a Celebi binge around that time.
It was sold before we came to be, though.
Yes. That's why we have no direct memory of it. That was pre-Scratch. What else is here...

There's the Todd Rundgren concert. Does anyone remember that?
*shakes head*
No. Which is sad, because it was marked as a fond memory.
Does anyone else find it unsettling that so many memories are missing?
That's what we're trying to fix here, obviously.

This is getting tangled.
Oh-- no, this is important. That photo, right there. There was a third in the set which is missing due to overwhelming body dysphoria.
Was that tied to the fronter?
Apparently. This was Christmas 2009. The bloodline gender was shifting at the time.
Ah.
So mark that down.

Still a Celebi association in May 2010.
I think we should do this on our own time.
Wait-- there's our last big link. This song is relevant too.
Hm. College?
Yes. Thank you Kalisha, that is the exact memory this is tied too. There was an entry about that somewhere. Garrison?
Yes sir-- right here, this one.
Ah. Thank you. And I agree, let's let Glissando continue this on her own if she wishes. There's too much data to sift through in realtime.

That entry wasn't elaborated upon.
Which one, the Tony Bennett one?
Yes. She was sitting at a sunlit table to the right of the stairs... convinced that she was about to die. And singing. That is such a powerful memory, I can see it.
Strange... that that one moment might be burned into our minds so clearly.
Existential moments normally are.
Thank you, Kalisha. Now let's take a break from this; this is really hurting my head.
Too much information?
Too much tangled information. We can't do this and think at the same time. I'm sorry.
It's okay, Garrison, no need to apologize. Let's let this continue as it will.
Good bye everyone!



...Whoever wrote the poetry during this time period was really damn good at it. They were the first boy, I think. First boy bloodline dude.

I have a few vague but powerful memories from around Christmas 2011, when Julie turned Pink and the God Tier phenomenon started and I got this perfect commission. We were starting to be more active online, and we were working more with the Leagueworlds simultaneously.
We were also apparently selling things around that time... I know that happened, I have one or two flashbulb memories of selling the Care Bears; the laptop was in the hallway at that time, and we had a poster on the wall behind us from Spinny's lifetime.
Then there's a big break... whatever happened then is missing. Then we have handwriting examples, and that feels close, but it belongs to whoever was directly before me. It's when Razor came back and everyone Underground surfaced... honestly the idea that the Undergrounders weren't around at some point is baffling to me, haha. I can't imagine a life without Knife! Just kidding, but seriously. That's weird.

Anyway I'm taking this poor girl's screentime away. She's trying to figure out 2009 apparently, looks like the Archivists were around too for a bit.
2009... let me look. She'll return once she catches an anchor, I have no ties to this stuff outside of the bloodline.

Geez, which boy was this? Eros was dead by 2012... he showed up in early 2011. We had white hair for the second half of 2011 so he was already shifting out by then...
Oh, whoa, hold up, I just remembered. I hope I can find a timestamp for this. Back in the early Gen days, Cannon had Gamboge, or at least her early roots did. BUT there was a shift from her to whoever this Glissando person is tied to:

 

==> who was tied to before the solid NIER-induced gender shift in 2010.

Those are the ONLY visual representations we have from that time, so that's important!
There's a better entry on the Cores I should post, it'll likely help.

Last bit of commentary... 2009 was the "late night/ early morning" year as far as I can feel it. Jayce had his roots in the Japanese chillout music in the early mornings (Nomak, Nujabes, etc.) and Cannon lost her edge to the late-night photo browsing and different music (Bon Iver/ Coldplay/ Max Richter). That's what this Glissando person is tied to, it seems.

In any case this is one heck of a complicated entry. I'll close this up for now; sorry for this random infodump.
I guess we're just trying to figure out who's who, what with all these old triggers and worries coming up. We can't find the roots for most of them because the memory times are missing. So this is a good step in that sense.
It's just that the old years feel bad. No one likes looking at them because they just feel ill, or unsettling. Like we don't need to sift through them. So let's not put more time towards this than we need to. This is reappearing so it can be healed and let go of for good... not held on to! There's no need or use for that.
Okay, off I go.

 
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Important notes to close:

--The original Core known as "spinny c" was NOT the "work fronter!" We assumed she was for ages, but we were wrong. There was simply a lot of personality bleedover (submissiveness, people-pleasing) going on between those two states.

--There seems to have been a permanent "core split" with the original Jewel line (females) being tied to the outer world and the League, and the Jay[ce] line (males) being tied to the inner world and the System. This allows for proper, coherent function on both fronts without compromising health and sanity.