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[prismaticbleed]

 

 

so this just happened.
i hope it's readable i'm too sick to edit everything

one - two - three - four - five - six


here's more relevant off art for you.


in other news i've found that i'm afraid of natural death
not murder or suicide, as those are intentional
but natural death feels like a punishment
like i didn't live well enough, i wasn't good enough
so now my punishment is to die

it's a stupid thought
but there it is.


i'm dizzy and i feel like vomiting, real nausea for once
can't tell if it's nerves or a medical problem
i have this weird swollen bruise on my leg and it really hurts
i've broken my vomit reflex somehow i can't throw up anymore i'm too tired
i hope emmett is okay
i hope emmett is real

i don't know who is fronting anymore
i don't know who i am
ever
anymore

this isn't jewel though i know that much for sure
sorry for clogging this page with my depressive rants
i guess its gotta come out somewhere

still its stupid

and i wish it would all just
go away.


if i die i want to die in my sleep.