broken brains

[prismaticbleed]

SESSION PARTICIPANTS
LAURIE UBERICH JEWEL LIGHTRAYE  LYNNE STABELLE  CHAOS ZERO  VEZERAI


 

 

Well, Laurie, here we are.

Heck yes! Let's get this done so you can finish that crazy work of yours.

It might take a while, though. I'm talking to Mel right now and praying that they're doing better.

Wait wait wait, this is about Mel? Is that what you meant? What the hell is going on?

They're... seeing bloody things. They said they feel 'toxic' and are hearing voices like me.

...Geez. That's... not good. The last thing they need is a Laurie in their head.

That's what I said. I mean-- wait, you're not a bad thing.

Only because you got to know me, boy. You remember what it was like after I got out of that mirror... I hated you. I bloody well hated you, and nothing was going to change that. Thank God I was wrong.

Do you think maybe Mel's voices are like you in that way, then?

What, in that they might actually hate Mel? There's a good chance they might. Most voices I know are like that.

Lynne's not.

Lynne and Natalie are different; they're not voices. They're fragments. Lynne is the 'adult lifestyle' and Natalie is childhood naivete; two parts of yourself you don't understand anymore. You formed them; they didn't just shove an axe through the door frame like I did.

Lynne did just show up.

Because you completely dissociated yourself from your age back then, remember? You were standing in the back of that church and you were scared out of your fractured mind. For all technical purposes you were nothing but a frightened child, faced with some unknown horror that was about to slice your stomach open.

You.

Inevitably. And that's when your lost confidence stood up to me.

That I did.

Aha, and wouldn't you know it! How are you, my old friend?

Confused, for one. I'm not sure why you want me in here.

We need help. Thought maybe you could give some.

Well, I'll do my best. Jewel, are you okay? You don't look well.

In the grand scheme of things, I'm alright. It's not me I'm worried about.

You're always like that, Jewel.

Pfhahah! She got you good!

Eh, maybe, but the point still stands. We're here because my good friend Mel might be falling into a destructive headvoice situation or the like. I want to prevent that, so I'm gathering up you guys for insight.

Ahem.

Oh, yeah. Sorry. Hold on one moment...

What you listening to?

Fat Jon. Good thinking music. I, uh... hope you don't mind.

Hello.

Hey. Nah, I've gotten used to her.

Seriously? Hah, that's a shocker!

It is!

And, um, we have a new guy.

...

Ohoho, dude. Hello there.

You're not--?

Nah, we're not here to pick your brain, boy. We just need your... expertise, how you say.

On what? I don't even know you.

Heh, lucky. Name's Laurie. I'm Jewel's superego; kind of like a chronically censorious conscience.

But I thought superegos were just psychological concepts.

Yeah, most are. I'm just a lucky concept that became personified.

Vez, I thought you were terrified of psychology?

Only when it applies to analyzing me. It's better to know what I'm up against regardless.

Good point.

Well guys, let's get to work. As you may or may not know, a beloved friend of mine is having some trouble with disturbing hallucinations and headvoices. The last thing I want is for them to go through something like my 2008, so I hoped that we could work out a plan of action, or even just some advice as to what they or I should do.

What are you hoping for though, love? We can't exactly quiet their own voices.

No, but maybe we can help them manage them. You all know what Laurie was like before I befriended her.

I do indeed.

Heh...

Laurie's the... purple one, right?

Yeah, that's me. I used to be a throat-slicing, skull-splitting scourge.

Oh.

She still is sometimes.

True, but at least she's not inherently malicious now. She used to function purely on violent vengeance and hate. I don't know what's driving Mel's voices, if anything, but if it's as negative as that then I need to help them face those voices.

Can you, though? There's not much we can do outside of their own mind.

It's better to try than to just stand around helplessly.

Jewel's right. I would have never, ever stabilized if I didn't have others helping me.

You think Mel needs a Dev or a Prelude to help?

Well, I daresay Q's their peace-bringer already... I don't know if I'd fit Dev's role though.

That person's not like me; that's not going to work. They need their own people. Not mine.

Vez, don't panic. I'm just using it as an example. I apologize.

You don't know what Mel needs.

I'm trying to figure that out, Lynne.

Can you? Should you?

Please, Lynne, don't shoot me down here. I'm desperate already.

I'm not shooting you down, Jewel. I'm just trying to be logical. Your solutions may not be their solutions by a long shot.

Alright, excuse me Lynne, but shut up.

What?

Just shut up, okay? My boy's breaking his heart over this and all you can say is 'this might not work at all!' We bloody KNOW that, alright? We're just trying our best in spite of it, because hell, we might succeed after all. If you're going to drag us down, you can just as easily get up and leave.

I'm not trying to offend anyone, but I'm sorry if you took it that way.

Ffh.

Guys, let's back this up. Jewel, just be there for Mel if nothing else.

I am, I am... but after I almost lost Dori TWICE when I could have done something, I am not going to risk losing Mel to a hell I've barely survived myself, so help me God.

I don't blame you.

I understand. I just want you to realize that this may be entirely out of our hands.

I'm still going to take a shot. I have to. I care too much.

Mm... In that case, I'll support you without further comment. I have to admire your determination.

Geez Lynne, when did you get so... I don't know, Vulcan-esque?

I have to be the voice of reason. Jewel and Laurie are both incredibly volatile.

Doesn't mean you have to be so bloody emotionless about it.

Laurie, I-- I'm just speaking the truth.

Whatever.

Lynne, don't let her bug you. I appreciate your warning and I know it's true, but Laurie's being just as honest. We're taking this chance.

What are we doing first then? What do you need my 'expertise' for?

Well Vez, you've been through more than all of us combined, and personally I find that you and I are creepily alike sometimes.

Uh-huh.

So maybe you'd understand the hallucinating and hearing voices.

I don't hear voices, Jewel, you do. And I only hallucinate because of my PTSD.

Yeah, but I have no idea what that's like.

It's awful.

I imagine it would be..

You know what? You were saying something about Mel seeing 'bloody things.' The hell does that mean?

From what I gather, they're hitting edges of a 'Johnny phase' here and there.

Oh geez. In that case, Jewel, I don't think any of us are going to be much help. You're the only one of us with doughboys and nailbunnies.

What's a 'Johnny phase?'

It's my term for a phase when one becomes uncharacteristically violent or 'unhinged.' You remember I was in one of those for a long time in 2008.

Is that when you started absorbing Laurie?

It sure is. That was a living hell. I swear, if you do that again--

Cross my heart, Laur, I won't. I'm over the phases... I just don't want Mel to fall into one.

How do we stop that though? Like I said, Jewel, you're the only one who knows what that's like.

I have... 'phases.'

Oh dude, he's right. Heck, I AM a 'phase'! And Chaos--

I get it, I get it.

So all your 'Johnny phases' are caused by personalities other than yourself?

That seems to be the gist of it, yes.

Is that what you think Mel is dealing with?

I don't know. Maybe. Even if they don't have any 'personalities' in their mind, they could have something on the verge of turning into one. They said so themself, that the voices they hear are becoming 'more than voices' now. Maybe we can stop that, like we stopped that weird red voice that attacked me with a razor that one time, thanks to those being huge triggers.

I remember that.
 
I bloody HATED her.

What was she supposed to represent, anyway?

I think mania, like Jessica used to be depression. They're both dead now though.

So are Brianne and Missy.

Brittany, Bridget, whatever the hell she decided her name was at the moment. Haven't seen the queen bitch very often lately either, thank GOD.

I'm fighting her nonstop, Laur.

I don't understand why you still need to fight her. I thought she had nothing left to fight you with?

Oh, she finds ways. She's trying to use my kids now.

What?

Yeah, she stopped the doppelganger thing and is now creating awful false scenarios with my kids. I ignore her but I can't ignore what she's doing.

All right, that is way out of line.

It's straight-up demonic. Next time I see her she is losing her whorish face.

Calm down about that for now guys, please. I'm winning against her now and the Care Bear army is helping too. She's still my #1 problem, but this isn't about me. This is about keeping a friend from being trapped in something like this.

True... I'm still shaking, though.

Sweetheart, I'll stop her. Don't lose it.

I'll try.

Give me something else to think about, please. I'm absolutely seething right now.

Well, I figure I should currently focus on helping Mel keep those voices quiet, however that's possible. I don't know. Lynne, I know this isn't completely out of my hands, but it's tough.

I understand.

That's kind of why I called you all here. I don't know what to do, and I'm desperate. I just want to help Mel.

If you need me for anything you can always ask.

Thanks, Vez.

I heard something about a fox?

...Yeah, Mel's seeing this fox with a top hat. I think he might be the key to this, especially because he apparently hasn't quit even when Mel said the other hallucinations/etc. have died down.

Why, do you think he's the 'headvoice' behind the phases?

I have no idea. It scares me, though, because Mel said that he "knows how to solve this, but he enjoys seeing my pain." That made me think of the old Laurie.

...Yeah, you're right.

If Mel knows the fox can solve this, maybe they just need to talk to him.

It's not that easy, though. He's constantly running from them and mocking them. They haven't been able to even come near to catching him.

That's not good at all.

I know... Laurie was at least right there, close enough to touch if she wasn't busy burying an axe in my face.

That fox is definitely one of us, though. How do you catch a fox?

You set traps.

But how do you trap a fox you can't even get close to?

Send something faster after it?

Maybe. Just maybe.

That could potentially make things much worse.

That's why we need to be careful. Mel isn't me; we may be similar but their situation here is still different in it's own important ways.

But Mel still needs to catch that bloody fox.

You think so?

Lynne, it's the only option I can think of. If it knows the answers, hunt it down and make it talk.

Resorting to violence might not be the best plan of action, Laurie..

Oh, shut up. You know what I mean.

What do you think it knows?

Only Mel knows that.

Geez this is frustrating. We're going in freakin' loops.

I think we should leave it be for now, Jewel. Tell Mel what we think and let them make the decisions for themself. Ultimately, they're the only one who can conquer their problems.

True, but remember how Q helped me, and how Dev helped Vez. Without a major force of beneficial interest standing by, the fight's going to be a heck of a lot harder, maybe even impossible.

Mel doesn't have to worry about that, then.

No, thank God. They have Q and I, and hopefully others that they may not have even realized are there yet.

Guess that's all we can do for today, then.

I'm sorry I couldn't help much.

Vez, don't say that. You were a huge help.

Yeah man, you hit on some serious points. Jewel knew what he was doing bringing you here.

...Thank you.

Speaking of, thank you too, Lynne. I apologize for that mess that went on earlier.

Don't be sorry; it was my fault as well. I should have been more considerate.

Hey, at least it all worked out okay in the end.

You are such a crazy optimist.

I try.

This conversation over then?

I suppose so, why?

You have work to do, boy!

Oh geez you're right I do.

Haha, what in the world is on your to-do list now?

Jewel Monster element/attribute cataloguing. It's a LOT of work but it's awesome.

And if you don't get the hell to it I swear I will hire Revenge to do my job.

Don't hire him, he's evil.

You're being unusually pushy about Jewel's work today, Laurie. Any reasons?

Yeah, it's my bloody job to make him feel guilty for slacking off HIS job. Get to work!

I have to admit, Laurie is right. You do need to make a lot of progress on your series yet.

Part Twelve.

Pfhahahaha!

All right, all right, I'll get off and get to work. Thanks for helping, you guys.

You're welcome.

I'm glad I was able to help. I admit I miss being part of this group.

You know you do!

I, um... I love you, Chaos.

I love you too, you crazy kid. Get some sleep tonight, alright?

Yeah, you rocked out enough yesterday. Screwed up my entire freaking schedule.

Sorry.

Weren't we supposed to finish this way back there...?

Yes.

Sorry.

You guys are the worst at finishing conversations.

Okay then, you close this one up.

Already did!