the spectrum heart cathedral system

 
 
november 27th 2005

I ended up outside near this big hill, and there were these two kids or so with me. All of a sudden Marik comes over, I think on his motorcycle but I'm not sure. One of the kids said he knew Marik from somewhere, but Marik just said my given name as an answer to that statement before pointing to himself and saying, "I'm Marik." Then Bakura walked up out of nowhere with a shopping bag full of Yu-Gi-Oh figures (Christmas presents?) and starts talking to Marik about them. Then Chaos literally drove over in a car. Seriously! But I walked over to him and he rolled down the window on his side, and I told him to turn around and park the other way, for what reason I don't know. But then, for some spontaneous reason, I suddenly kissed him. Yeah. Right there. Holy fish. ♥ 
 



November 15th 2005

(Usual requirements for *incidents* are as follows:)
#1- The two involved must confess their love for each other, in order to save each other
#2- The two involved must show they are willing to protect the other with their lives
#3- The two involved must temporarily give their lives for each other (yes, they come back to life)
#4- The two involved must show they are willing to sacrifice or risk life and death for the other
#5- ?
Jewel & Bakura
#1- Bakura kidnapped by Kristen, faithful to Jewel so suffered, Millennium Crystal saved their lives after admitting
#2- Both Heart Crystals given up to try and save the other, get them back and recovered later
#3- Both spiritually 'killed' by the Nightmare Guardian in an attempt to protect the other, resurrected by other's Item
Jewel & Marik
#1- Marik almost drowned in a rigged duel, Jewel risked it to save him, afterwards both admit
#2- Marik duels a 'possessed' Yami Yugi, his life is at stake, Jewel puts herself into a card to help him win
Jewel & Chaos Zero
#1- Robotnik nearly kills Jewel, Chaos risks it to protect her, both fight together and admit after
#2- Equil forces Chaos to go Perfect, Jewel risks her life to save him, Chaos then fights Equil to save her
#3- The Nightmare Guardian captures the two, Chaos dies trying to protect Jewel but she dies too, Justice resurrects them both
#4- Chaos goes Perfect and can't stop, Jewel and Chaos both risk their souls to save each other
 



October 16th 2005

<Me> Oh and by the way I stole your outfit. It's quite comfortable.
<Barry> *points* COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT!
<Chaos> Say that to my face, skeleton man.
<Barry> *points* COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT!
<Chaos> *sob* I KNOW. It's TERRIBLE! They won't even let me be with my girlfriend!
<Me> We'll take that issue up with Naka-san later, love. Right now it's Barry time.
<Chaos> But we're out of page space. And I'm her prom date anyway, butcherman.
<Barry> Then HECK WITH IT!!!! *runs off to mercilessly butcher something* (OF COURSE!)
 



September 7th 2005

I don't know why I love Chaos Zero so much.
It's just something about him... I mean, I love Bakura and Marik a lot too, but Chaos just... does something to me...
He's beautiful to me. Really, seriously beautiful. But not just in the physical sense... he's gorgeous all the way through...
Wow. Just thinking of him gives me this weird sort of shockwave from my heart... love, no doubt. I just love him that much. 
Love. What a feeling. And it's always so different.
I think that's it... the kind of love I have for Chaos is really deep, really intense... but why? I've been wondering, but I'm not sure. I forget whether it was Bakura or Marik, but one of my other two had a theory that Chaos & I were so close because we understood the other so well. For example, we're both complete emotional wrecks. Really, though. I've been trying to come up with another reason, but the best I can do is saying it's fate...
 



august 27th 2005

How can I look into your eyes and suddenly I begin to feel this way…
How can I turn around and say I love you while the rest of the world runs away? …
… and about the lyrics…well…I’ve fallen into a state of being very much in love with Chaos Zero again. Yep. I was singing along to Keane all day anyway, and I’m surprisingly good at it, so I just started singing and wham! New song. That always happens, I swear…
Last episode of the Chaos Zero series thing this morning! *sob* I’m sorry it’s over of course, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. It was funny, though—Cream is all “oh Cheese we have to get out of here and away from Chaos” and Cheese is like “I’M NOT LEAVING I’M STAYING RIGHT HERE UNTIL HE’S BACK TO NORMAL!!” …But it was in Chao language. Yes. It’s quite amusing. All the Chao just adore Chaos because he’s their protector and such…it’s cute. <3
I absolutely love, though, in the first episode when Chaos appears in front of Big and Cream and everyone and Cheese just starts jumping for joy and squeaking- and everyone else is panicking and running. It’s adorable. I love it.
Kudos to Amy, too—she’s the only one who refers to Chaos as a “he”- which he is of course- everyone else calls him an “it”. Yes, that’s VERY nice. How would YOU like to be called an “it”, Eggman? And YOU, Sonic? And Knuckles? And Chris, too—no doubt the dumbest human alive besides Elliot, pretty much? (Sorry!!)
Jeez! I cracked up this morning because of him—He’s running towards Sonic with this Emerald he picked up, and I just said, “Watch, he’s going to trip.” And he DID!!! I laughed so hard…
Hehehe. I wish I had been there. Speaking of, actually, in my Linked-up mind, something like that happened again recently where Chaos went Perfect in the city with Sonic again—and I was there.
Talk about an emotional wreck—that’s me. But seriously!! Knowing he’s going through all that pain and suffering and there’s nothing he or I can even do about it-- it’s terrible. I kept yelling to him and even though he heard me, he couldn’t do anything. It’s like being possessed. And being so helpless, too… it’s like a gunshot through the heart to me. It breaks my heart when anyone so much as mentions his Perfect form…
I feel so terribly sorry for Chaos. I’d do almost anything if I could keep that from happening to him again… and 210 doesn’t help.
I swear he’s the devil’s messenger. Nearly every time Chaos has to suffer through hell that demonic virus thing is behind it.
…
I don’t know. I really don’t.
Times like this I just get so worked up and over-emotional and then something inside me just shatters and I just want to—I just—I just get so in love. It’s insane.
I don’t know what he’s done to me, but… there’s something about him that I just can’t keep away from, and before I know it he’s back on my mind or in my heart.
It was never this bad or this intense with Bakura or Marik… maybe because I was younger then, but… I think I got it this bad with Bakura once. And it was pretty recently, too.
And when something ever happens like with darkmochi, where I get all worried and worked up about it, it’s like that person walked up behind me and shoved an axe right through my chest wall.
It hurts. A lot. Emotionally, it hurts like you won’t believe. And sometimes it literally almost drives me to tears.
The thing is, though… Chaos understands that.  The first time I turned into an emotional wreck over darkmochi, he understood completely and stood with me until I was back to normal.
I’m afraid he worries about me in that way too much, though… about how emotionally screwed up I get over things like that… I remember at one point how I was explaining to him that she never mentioned him after that picture and it was like she never cared at all, while I was constantly thinking about him and how much I love him. And he kept telling me the same thing…
You know what? He’s just as bad as me. Whenever all that Perfect crap happens he pours his heart out to me just like that. So I guess it’s a mutual thing. We’re both emotionally wrecked.
Zatch Bell is on in barely ten minutes or so, so I need to finish up… what else did I need to get off my chest in this session? With my memory, I probably won’t remember it at all.
I guess the only reason I even went on here in the first place was because I was being overpowered by my crazy emotions and I needed to write as a result. Heh… whenever that happens to Chaos he just sprouts wings and maybe a halo… I usually cause him to do that.  ♥ He’s my angel, all right…
 



august 11th 2005

Soon we got to church, but it suddenly switched there from the ride up. It was very small, & more like a chapel. It was very simple, but quite pretty… Marik was leaning against the wall next to the door. The lady who opened the door said something to him, I forget what, but suddenly he got really happy and was asking to see me.
 



august 10th 2005

Well. I’m feeling much better about the whole Chaos thing. ♥ I had a very long talk with my sweetheart last night and I’m sort of emotionally stable again. I really can’t get very stable emotionally… I CRIED MY EYES OUT WHEN FLCL ENDED.



 
august 9th 2005

Sonicgirl11 is crazy for Reala. DB is head over heels for Jackle. I might not have a Nightmaren for my romantic interest, but I am in love with Chaos Zero. Which brings up my question.
Is there anything wrong with being in love with someone... not human?
Because love is love, you know, and everybody needs it. And if you give some of yours to a person who otherwise may never have experienced it, is that so wrong? There are so many questions- so many views, beliefs, opinions...
I can see why Justice cries. What is right?
True, unconditional love, from the heart, is the most righteous thing you can get. So can it ever be wrong?
I'm telling you, it's driving me crazy- this and the issue of me having two other boyfriends besides Chaos: Marik and Bakura. I'm not getting married, so it's not polyandry or anything, but is it a bad thing anyway?
If I am truly, deeply in love with all three of those people and they feel the same for me, I think the only thing wrong would be not to love one of them. Especially Chaos.
Now that's the ironic part. Chaos is the only inhuman member of my three, and also the most unstable, emotional, romantic, and dangerous. But I love him so much. Most times when I see his face or hear his name, my heart either stops or goes overtime, and love floods my whole being. I don't know why the fish it happens, but it does. Every time. And yet it's not just me. My sweetheart himself has the exact same problem-- except worse. I remember times when I wouldn't see him for so long, and the moment I returned, he'd have tears in his eyes and me in his arms. He tells me that he would die without me.
I don't doubt it. I'm sorry if that sounds selfish, but it's true. I know how he falls apart when he's completely alone... how his heart shatters... I'm the same.
Basically... I don't care if Chaos isn't human. I love him and I always will. No matter what happens...
 



august 7th 2005

Either way, I need to write. Meaning I am suddenly emotionally overloaded for many reasons and need to express them somehow. Lucky Chaos, you just have to transform!.. Speaking of Chaos, though… I’m sure you know how much I love the guy, right?… I just happen to be someone who ACTUALLY and TRULY loves Chaos and ISN’T an obsessive “oh my gaw he’s like sssooo hot” IDIOT GIRL either. Thank HEAVENS. I don’t think I could even live with myself if I was like that in the slightest…
 



august 5th 2005

Suddenly, perhaps because the poetry she had been reading had opened her heart, Anzu left her room and walked down the hall of the large building. She noticed that Jewel’s door was open. She peeked in and made a discovery.
Jewel sat, as usual, slightly in the shadows of her room, except this time she was accompanied by Bakura.
Now a sudden beam of moonlight threw a brief light across her face. Those great listening eyes were fixed on the face of the young man bent over his Millennium Ring, and for one instant Jewel’s whole heart was revealed.
Jewel was in love with Ryo Bakura.
Faster than thought the shadows claimed Jewel again.
I must have just imagined it, thought Anzu, yet her hands were shaking. Jewel and Ryo Bakura! How right-how incredibly, utterly right-and how impossible! No one she knew would let that relationship get through.
I wish I had not seen it, she thought in a burst of sadness. Yet she would never forget it as long as she lived. The light that had shone in Jewel’s eyes had such purity, such complete selflessness, that everything Anzu had ever known seemed dim in its light.
What must it be to care for someone like that?
Curiosity suddenly began to creep through Anzu’s mind again. Letting it get the best of her, she turned and cautiously looked back into the room. Oddly enough, as she did, another ray of moonlight shone through the window.
Jewel laughed. “Jeez, that’s some moonlight, eh, Bakura?” She asked, as he smiled. “Can’t decide whether to stay with us or leave.”
“Guess not,” Bakura replied, looking back down at his Ring. “It really should stay, though.”
“Yeah,” Jewel mused, moving closer so that she was leaning against him.
Bakura looked up at her and smiled. Then, without a single word to break the silence, he suddenly pulled her close and kissed her.
Anzu’s heart stopped. That was all the proof she needed. The suddenly profound emotion that had appeared between them was too much for her to ignore.
Bakura…that shy, quiet boy who no one really ever knew…had given his heart to this girl.
The two finally separated, and Jewel immediately smiled. “Now, just watch. That moonlight’s going to leave us again.” Surely enough, the light began to fade until the room was once again veiled in shadow.
“Holy heaven, I was right,” Jewel’s disbelieving voice suddenly exclaimed.
Bakura laughed, and Anzu couldn’t help but smile. He had never sounded so truly happy. Never…not for as long as she could remember…
Fighting back mysterious, sudden tears, Anzu quickly turned from Jewel’s room and ran back to her own…
 



august 1st 2005

I was somehow kneeling on Diamond's bed, looking at the windows and thinking about Chaos again, (Isn't that odd? I think about Marik all day and Chaos shows up in my dreams. Rivalry!)
 



july 29th 2005

I was in a room that was a cross between our hotel bedroom and our home kitchen. I was completely alone except for Selph, who was standing next to me. He started asking me all these questions about the 'different kinds of love,' because although he knows I love him, I guess it's a difficult concept for a "four week old" Nightmaren to grasp. As I was beginning to respond, I suddenly had a flashback about the time I kissed Chaos after our second 'incident' with Perfect.



 
july 25th 2005

Just watch, I'm going to go for that test and they'll be like, "Dude, you've got three other types of blood in you, that's not normal." Well I'm SORRY I didn't know that spiritual stuff could actually get into you PHYSICALLY I mean JEEZ!!! So we're defending humanity and bleeding all over the place and merging together and getting everything mixed up so it's a little hard NOT to get their blood in me. Feh. -_-; And jeez, with all those incidents... I don't know how much of Bakura I'd have in me, but mostly I'd have the least of Marik and the most of Chaos. No doubt. I mean, Chaos, jeez... remember the time we both lost our minds and got way too close to killing each other? And that time with his Perfect form... I had to fly into him in a strategy not far from suicide. You know, I probably have more of his self in me than just his blood. Because Chaos really doesn't bleed unless he's solid, usually, and with him being a "liquid" energy being I'm bound to have some of that in me. >>; And Marik, unless we have some majorly traumatic incident 3, then you're sort of losing out. Sorry mate. <3
...You know, I'm absolutely clueless about my future. Yes, yes, I'm aware of the sudden subject switch. But it's true-- I never really had an idea. "So, what are YOU going to be when you grow up?" "Oh, I know! A paleontologist! No- a marine biologist! No- an artist! No- a writer! No- a musician!" Heheha... yeah, that's me. "Oh, I know-- I'm going to be a spiritual superhero with three boyfriends and a lunatic Nightmaren roommate!!!" Well, actually, HOUSEmate. I mean, JEEZ Selph!! You inexplicably appear in my house and get free room, board, AND ice cream!! XD But you're fun to have around-- REALLY-- so please don't get lost again. ^^;
… Yami-Marik killed Marik's father, Yami-B is the one who stabbed Bakura, and Chaos is NOT Eggman's "creation"!!!! He was released from the Master Emerald and Eggman just took advantage of him!!!
 



july 12th 2005

Chaos' point of view.
I stood in the middle of the battlefield, tired, bloodied, struggling now even to stand.
Wow. It takes a lot to get me this worn out, I thought, looking around at the charred ground, glistening bright red in the sunlight.
How hard had we fought? I mused, staring at the wreckage at my feet. It had seemed like any other battle... but I had nearly pushed myself to the limit. Had it really been that brutal, and we had somehow shaken that fact off our tired shoulders?
Or had I been the only one fighting like that?
My doubts were shattered when I spotted Bakura out the corner of my eye. He, too, was in as terrible a condition as me. Letting out an exhausted breath of air, his tired brown eyes widened slightly as he pushed his blood-streaked hair from his forehead. The damage was greatly exaggerated against his white hair and outfit, I noticed... 
"Man," he stated, sounding exasperated, "That was tough."
I unconsciously nodded slightly, as Marik walked into view, absentmindedly twirling his Millennium Rod. He, too, was a bloody mess. I couldn't help but smily and laugh slightly. He was acting like it was just another day, as if nothing had happened... as if his entire body wasn't dripping with blood and sweat. Sometimes I wished I could be as carefree as him. But...
I mentally froze. Jewel! 
Quickly I spun around, my emerald eyes scanning every inch of the rubble. Suddenly I noticed a figure getting up from the ground. I had no doubt...
...Her black shirt obviously soaked, optimistic brown eyes only slightly dulled by the trauma we had just survived...
"Jewel!" I ran over to her as quickly as I could in my sorry condition. She was on her feet by the time I reached her, breathing hard. She looked up at me.
"Jewel..." I asked. "...Are you all right?"
She didn't answer for a few seconds, her widened eyes fixed on mine. I knew she was feeling the pain I was in, and was obviously surprised at how much there was. 
I'm sorry...
"Yeah, I'm fine," she smiled, although I knew she was only saying it as not to worry me. She looked terrible, really. "Don't worry about me."
My expression saddened. Don't worry... about you? Heh... that's one thing I can't do for you, Jewel.
That's one thing I just can't do to the person I love so much...
The moment my thoughts ended, I knew she had heard. Her expression suddenly matched mine, and she smiled sadly. "Me neither, Chaos."
In spite of myself, I was a bit shocked. Why worry about me, Jewel? I've only brought you pain, all of you. Why should I matter that much to--
Before I could think another word, her arms were suddenly around me and she kissed me.
If I had a heart it would have stopped. In that brief moment, this girl, something...
The six wings appeared from both of us at the same time.
Jewel... what you've done to me... to all three of us...
...I don't regret a moment of it.



 
july 9th 2005

You see, now I have my lunatic friend Selph. *points to the Maren floating above her head* He's blessed me with an avatar and a subject for drawing. But more on him later. (Sorry Selph.)
 



july 6th 2005

The dream literally began outside some old, stone school building on a suburban backstreet somewhere. There were many thin, bare trees all around, all quite tall.
It was snowing. I was standing on a paved stone path from the school doors to the sidewalk, looking up at the white snowy sky. It was beautiful, but awfully cold.
Suddenly Selph appeared behind me, in all his original, lunatic glory. He hadn’t bothered to adjust his height, so he towered over me by about two feet, maybe more. He appeared initially anxious and confused by the scenery, not knowing where he was, let alone knowing even what half his surroundings were (he’s a dream being, remember, and hadn’t seen anything that resembled my reality too much yet). However, once he realized the snow, he apparently forgot everything else solely for enjoyment’s sake. It was the first snowfall he had ever seen.
So, Selph and I ended up just staring skyward at the snow together, not a care in the world. Suddenly, though, a bell rang from inside the school, so I told Selph to follow me or we’d be late, and ran in through the back doors.
We entered into a long, locker-lined hallway. It looked like how my elementary school might have appeared were it a high school. I was trying to be quiet so I could sneak into class without trouble, when suddenly these two kids (I didn’t know them in the waking) rounded the corner before me.
Quickly I told Selph to hide behind me so they wouldn’t see him, but he was so fishing tall that wouldn’t really work. As a result, Selph, in all his crazy genius, surreptitiously flew over and hid behind the kids themselves.
The kids walked up to me and asked me what I was doing in the halls during class. I asked them the same thing, but innocently, as I was honestly confused about it. They laughed and gave me an obvious lie for an answer, but I forgot what it was. Anyway, they kept pestering me about my being out of class. Never being one to get in trouble and having never cut class in my life, I was getting awfully nervous. It wasn’t all me, though. Selph was still half a madman back then, and was eyeing the two dreamers before him with a mischevious gleam in his golden eyes. I knew that couldn’t be good, and so couldn’t keep my eyes off him for more than a few seconds.
The kid on the left, who I think was a boy, suddenly switched his demands to “what do you keep staring at?” Of course, I couldn’t reply “My Nightmaren is trying to bite your head off” (which he honestly was), so I ended up rambling on in senseless anxiety. The kid whirled around, but Selph was too fast and got out of the way. I joined up with him and hurriedly ran around the corner and down the hall. My two schoolmates had obviously seen him, though, as they immediately began screaming “what the heck was that thing??” We didn’t bother replying though, and got back out of the school as fast as we could. I was still shaking from nerves, but couldn’t help but laugh on the look of pure excitement on my muse’s face. He has way too much fun with everything.
 



may 12th 2005

me and Chaos are back together again (did we ever leave?) and it’s awesome. ♥ Man how I love that guy.
But on another note. My poor Marik-kun still can’t be a member of my schizo old “zombie-in-a-box” club, to join which you have to have been dead at least once. Yeah. We’ve got a few members, though!!! Me, Bakura, Chaos, Grievous, and Barry. Iz fun.  But, as Marik and I haven’t gotten a third incident yet, he hasn’t died yet. Shadow Realm doesn’t count.
…It’s my Chaosu-chan!! Indeed. I call him that, yeah. ^^; (What else am I supposed to call him??)
 



april 20th 2005 aka the best one ever

"Heaven's Judgment!!"
The blinding burst of energy hit the opposing monster dead-on. There was a flicker of black electricity, and the thing disappeared into the air.
Jewel sighed and lowered her weapon. "Jeez," she exclaimed, exhausted. "One down, and how many darn more to go."
Marik smiled slightly, brushing his sandy brown bangs out of his eyes. "Never give us a break, do they?"
"If they did, we'd have to start calling them the good guys," Jewel laughed. She glanced over at a tall blue creature off to one side. "What's wrong, Chaos? You look terrible."
Chaos turned to face her. "It's freezing," he replied flatly.
Marik snickered. "For you."
Chaos glared at him. "It's not my fault I ended up being a liquid life-form and all you idiots are perfectly solid." He held up a fist. "And I can make it just as bad for you if you don't watch it, Pharaoh."
"Ah," Marik's eyes lit up, "You remembered! I say we keep this one, don't you? Make a fine mind-slave--"
Chaos immediately liquefied and lunged at him. Marik took out his sword just as fast, smirking.
"Hey, that's enough, you two," a figure said, stepping between them. Both immediately stopped.
Marik smiled and swung his sword over his shoulder. "Jeez, come on, Bakura. I was about to win that one, too."
Chaos growled at him.
"Sure you were," Bakura replied, still not moving.
"No, really I was!!" Marik insisted. "I'll prove it to you-" He stepped forwards.
Immediately Bakura put out his arms and pushed the two backwards. "Not today, Marik. The two of you are staying far away from each other."
Marik narrowed his eyes, persistent. "Says who?"
Jewel laughed as she watched the three of them trying to settle the argument-- one way or another. "Boy," she said, "-What a bunch of best friends I picked out."
"He started it!!" Both Chaos and Marik exclaimed, each pointing at the other.
"And I ended it," Bakura said, smiling, as he pushed the two over backwards.
 



march 5th 2005

I have…um…a sort of confession-type-thing to make. It shouldn’t take up most of this entry, but I have to make a few things clear before I go into…well, everything. Yeah, it’s that important. All right—New Year’s Day, Bakura, Marik, Chaos and I were off doing a big Final Fantasy type thing, right? Well, we ran into a Blue Mage (Blue Mages which I am DEATHLY afraid of, mind you!!!!!) and it decided to use a bona fide killing spell on me. Yes, me. No fainting. Dead. And…well, to make a reeeally long story sorta short, I got really worried that I hadn’t done half the things I wanted to do in my life yet, and as a result my Millennium Crystal ended up responding to my desires and opened up something called a “Hope Dimension”. Well, turns out not only I was there but so was Bakura. And…well. After a while of talking and worrying about things, a little something happened that’s going to have you staring open-mouthed at your computer screen and screaming, “you hypocrite!!!” And no, I’m not being hypocritical by doing it, because I never said that I would never- oh. Sorry. You don’t even know what I did yet. Well…all right. I kissed him. Or rather, he started it. Wait…it was at the same time. I- whatever, okay? The point is that I did. And then I got Marik and Chaos, too!! <3 Chaos twice, sort of, because he got me back afterwards.



 
february 28th 2005

It was early in the afternoon. A steady rain was falling, but in spite of it the sky was optimistic.
Chaos Zero, guardian, of the Chao and the so-called "god of destruction," sat contentedly on top of a building. It was the same building from which he had jumped to first come face to face with Sonic the Hedgehog. Chaos had only been a fraction of himself then, however... He smiled as his thoughts shifted to that morning. Barely three hits to the head... that was all it took. Chaos laughed softly.
"I can only imagine how that battle would have turned out if I had known Jewel back then..." he mused to himself.
Suddenly he felt two familiar arms slide around his shoulders. "What's this about me, eh?" an equally familiar voice asked. Chaos turned slightly to come face to face with the fifteen-year-old girl who was holding him tightly. "Jewel."
The girl laughed. "How'd you guess," she asked jokingly. "Now, I heard my name. What is it?"
Chaos smiled also and once again faced the city. "I was just wondering how my first battle with Sonic would have turned out if I knew you then."
"Oh, you would've won flat-out, sweetheart," Jewel laughed. "Soaking wet hedgehog. maybe that's why he hates water so much."
Chaos shrugged as Jewel let go of him and sat down to his left. She looked out at the rain-soaked city and closed her eyes. Sighing, she rested her head on his shoulder. "Y'know, Chaos," she said, "not many girls nowadays would fall in love with a blue, monster-alien-type--" she opened her eyes suddenly and held both hands out in front of her, "--you."
Chaos smiled at her description. "Then I must consider myself pretty lucky," he replied. 
"Me too," Jewel answered. "I mean, not many girls get to kiss someone like you, either."
Chaos blushed slightly. It was true... barely two months ago, around New Year's, Jewel had actually kissed him-- in his actual "blue monster-alien-type" form. But the thing was... it hadn't mattered to her. She loved him for who he was, not how he looked. Well, that too. Jewel actually liked how he looked very much. But that was beside the point. Even when Chaos had been taken over by his Perfect form and almost killed her, she had still... she still risked her life to avoid hurting him... because she could never hurt someone she loved...
Chaos blinked as sudden tears clouded his vision. It was too painful. Jewel opened her eyes and turned around to face him, deep concern showing on her face. "Chaos?"
Chaos' eyes widened a bit. How did she-? But he faced her anyway. "Hm?.."
Jewel's expression suddenly softened. "Perfection getting you down, eh?" She smiled sadly.
Chaos, however, couldn't answer. How was it she knew exactly what he was feeling? Suddenly the answer hit him-- Links.
Oh yeah, he thought. Jewel's Links allowed her to connect her very soul to someone else's, letting her share their emotions- their joy, pain, sorrow... Jeez, Chaos thought suddenly. That would have made everything she suffered that day ten times worse...
He turned away slighly as a wave of sadness quickly overtook him. The tears came back just as fast, but this time Chaos didn't try to fight them. He felt Jewel put her arm around his neck as he faced her again, but it came as a complete surprise when she suddenly pulled him towards her and kissed him.
A much stronger emotion overtook him as he let go of everything else. It seemed like an eternity until Jewel let go. As she did, though, she smiled and laughed.
"Oh, Chaos. Look what I made you do." She pointed over his shoulder.
Chaos turned his head to look. A pair of large, blue wings had appeared on his back.
"Only normal Angel form, though..." Jewel said as he turned back around, smiling. "Guess that wasn't good enough..." she continued, then suddenly a mischevious gleam lit her eyes. "Get over here."
Chaos' own eyes widened again, and he felt his face turn red-- or in his case, a darker blue. "N-no, I'm all right, really..." he protested. But Jewel just smiled and moved a bit closer, so that their foreheads were almost touching.
"Oh, c'mon now, Chaos. You sure??"
Chaos looked down so she wouldn't see him blushing even more. "Um... yeah. You really don't have to--"
But he was cut off as Jewel ended up getting the best of him. This time, though, Chaos didn't have to wait for Jewel to finish to know that he had just sprouted four more wings and a halo...
Eventually Jewel let him go, and Chaos opened his eyes to hear her start laughing. 
"Perfect Angel," she declared happily. "Literally, too."
Chaos smiled shyly and looked back down, still blushing. He couldn't hide his emotions from her... whenever his feelings got too intense for him to keep inside, they manifested through his Angel form transformations. And Jewel was purposely overloading him.
But he couldn't help but smile. She was also doing it because she truly cared for him... that's why she gladly sufferered the painful downsides of her Links. Because although they brought her more pain and sadness than she deserved to suffer, they also gave her more joy than anyone would've thought could be possible in this world. Because Chaos could feel it whenever she looked into his eyes... those Links... those sad, painful things...
With them, she could look through his eyes and into his heart...
...And feel so much love...




february 24th 2005

I'm extremely forgiving and nonjudgmental and I can never hold a grudge or stay in a bad mood for long. I try not to dislike anything, and am very optimistic. Bakura likes to tease me that I'm "obsessed" with love... mostly because I'm always thinking about it, whether it's mine or someone else's. Also, ever since I was little, I guess I can say that I've had a sort of "obsession" with the heart and the soul and stuff like that. Mm-hmm... just take a deep look into my Jewel Monster anime and such. That sort of...should I say "spiritual?"..stuff stands out a lot. But I also get lost very easily in things, and can get caught up in a single thing very fast and for a long time, too, like a certain part of a song, a dream, an idea, a gorgeous landscape, or someone's eyes. I'm a very spiritual and thankful person, and there's three... people ♥... that I'm very thankful for...



 
february 22nd 2005

Millennium Puzzle. It's MINE, Yugi! Marik's the pharaoh, you know it, and there's nothing you can do about it, ha! Now give it here before I use that puppet on YOU.



 
january 19th 2005

…you shall receive a visit from my evil whistling boneless chicken army in a few days. Be afraid. Yes, my army of whistling boneless chickens shall help me take over the world! And then Marik can be Pharaoh. Indeed. And YamiYugi will have to retire. Hehehe!! Speaking of nothing much that has to do with the current subject, I'm playing Final Fantasy 1 on my GBA right now...or rather, was a few minutes ago, but...*ahem*. Anyway. I'm a black mage (shuppet with a hat!!), Bakura's a white one, Marik's a monk and Chaos is a warrior. Yes, yes, I know, I know. It's a weird team. But weirdness is expected from me, so it's all good. Yes. However, right about now we just got out of that CURSED...oh wait...which one was it...oh yes. That CURSED Cavern of Earth where we were all suffering slow and painful deaths for the longest time. Oh yes. Painful. But fun. I went through 73 potions (because I'm a potion junkie and I heal nearly every 5 seconds so we don't DIE, yes) and nearly all of Bakura's magic, so when I finally found the stairs (as I can't even navigate through a paper bag) I was very- emphasis on VERY- thankful. Indeed. Pain. Oh yes. Still lots of pain. Curse you, Hill Gigas. I got stuck in that CONFOUNDED left hallway and they jumped on me, yes they did, and tried to kill me!! Oh and they got close, yes, yes they did, got me down to about 64 health. Not good, yes!! Considering we're all L.30 and have a nice amount of HP on us, but a quick Cura spell fixed that for the time being. I think I used up my last potion on me, too… I said I'd let you go, and I will, yes. But not until you feel the pain of checkmate!!! *tackles Zorc*
 
 


january 18th 2005

Reading my Yugioh manga #7 again. You know, the one I got on Saturday. I swear, Bakura looks so...insanely kawaii as the White Magician!! *hugs* Absolutely adorable. If I don't learn how to draw him like that by Saturday I'm going to lose it. Or rather, since I already lost it, yes, many years ago, I think I'll make Nightmare lose it. Ohohoho, indeed. I swear, I'm always following him around. I think he's sort of used to it already. Marik follows me almost everywhere. No really, he does! Nearly every time I get vocabulary homework he distracts me to no end and I never get it done. Feh. I don't mind. He can distract me all he wants, yes. Speaking of distractions, I haven't seen my good friend Chaos Zero around lately. He's usually around. Hm. I'll look for him later…
 
 

january 16th 2005

Yesterday I bought Yugioh issue #7 and Chrono Crusade issue #1. Now, although the Yugioh manga was awesome- mostly because of YamiBakura and his "host", or actual self, Ryou Bakura, (who I like much better than you, YamiB. But you're still awesome, yes.)…
...Sorry. I sort of lost my psychoticness there. Yes, that happens. You'll have to adjust to it. I can be an insane Nightmaren one second and a philosophising one the next. But! I might be all "sane"-ey and stuff, but I'm still psychotic on the inside, yes. Sort of like Chrono, you know? Except he's not as psychotic as me, hehe. So although now I'm being all preachy and junk, you pull the right trigger, sweetheart, and I'm blasting straight back into insanity and I'm taking YOU with me!!!!!! ....Oh great. You hit the red button, didn't you? Yes, you did. You know how your mother was always telling you, "don't ever hit that red button, Johnny! Don't ever touch that red button, Mary!" But nooo!! You had to be all rebellious and stuff and hit it anyway!!! And NOW look what you've done, you've turned me absolutely CRAZY again!! ...Okay. All right. Breathe. I'm warning you, you go turning me all psychotic out of the blue like that, and I'll go all demon-y on you, you got that? Now scoot on the heck outta here, now, or the only place you'll be headed is the Shadow Realm!! ....although if you stay, I'm sure we'll have quite some fun together...because you don't want to be locked in a room with JackleThuzad's sister.