prismaticbleed | ~THOUGHTS~ FILE 2005 (Reply)

March 5, 2005
(listening to Earth, Wind, and Fire’s Greatest Hits CD)

Hey, all. Happy New Year, eh? Yeah. Sorry I’m late. But it’s all good, hey? Oh, speaking of good. I have…um…a sort of confession-type-thing to make. It shouldn’t take up most of this entry, but I have to make a few things clear before I go into…well, everything. Yeah, it’s that important. All right—New Year’s Day, Bakura, Marik, Chaos and I were off doing a big Final Fantasy type thing, right? Well, we ran into a Blue Mage (Blue Mages which I am DEATHLY afraid of, mind you!!!!!) and it decided to use a bona fide killing spell on me. Yes, me. No fainting. Dead. And…well, to make a reeeally long story sorta short, I got really worried that I hadn’t done half the things I wanted to do in my life yet, and as a result my Millennium Crystal ended up responding to my desires and opened up something called a “Hope Dimension”. Well, turns out not only I was there but so was Bakura. And…well. After a while of talking and worrying about things, a little something happened that’s going to have you staring open-mouthed at your computer screen and screaming, “you hypocrite!!!” And no, I’m not being hypocritical by doing it, because I never said that I would never- oh. Sorry. You don’t even know what I did yet. Well…all right. I kissed him. Or rather, he started it. Wait…it was at the same time. I- whatever, okay? The point is that I did. And then I got Marik and Chaos, too!!  Chaos twice, sort of, because he got me back afterwards.  All right, that’s settled. Hehehe. Now you’re traumatized, eh? Just doing my job, sir. Well, now I can tell you about-- * Holy shuppet!! I need to finish my Meiji report!! All righty then, I’ll tell you later. Oh, and by the way, Zatch is stealing my fish. The fish is MINE, you fiendish little marionette-looking demon, you. Oh, yeah. Watch Cartoon Network at 9:30 today or read the second entry on my Livejournal to figure out about him. All right? All right. See you!!! 

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August 10, 2005

I HAVE DESTROYED THE SPACES! *extreme joy*
And hopefully they will not come back!
Well. I’m feeling much better about the whole Chaos thing.  I had a very long talk with my sweetheart last night and I’m sort of emotionally stable again. I really can’t get very stable emotionally… I CRIED MY EYES OUT WHEN FLCL ENDED.
I really did. Well… that was sad, you know, that awesome show having to END, but…
All right. Back to ranting! Guess who’ve come back into my state of mind and will probably cause some more straaaaange dreams for me?
Yep, these two!

Larger picture than I expected!
Boy, they give me weeeird dreams…
You know what’s pretty funny, though? Brago’s about a foot shorter than Sherry, right? I wonder what would happen if she just spontaneously stuck her head in his hair. Ha! I wonder, if I paid her or something, she’d actually do that… Keh…the possibilities I could get if that worked!!
Oh, I got the first two issues of Zatch Bell today! *hugs manga* They came out early! But they’re really good, and Brago still gives Sherry that look!! *cracks up* Brago makes me laugh for no reason. Really, he does. All the time, too. It’s odd!
<Brago> *staring sideways at Sherry*
<Sherry> …?
<Sherry> What was that look, eh? (Sherry’s expression here makes it MUCH funnier. )
<Brago> Uh… nothing. (And Brago looks like a fish!! Really he does!!!)
Worst excuse ever, Brago! 

Oh, and by the way, I also picked up ISSUE #6 OF CHRONO CRUSADE.
NO ONE TOLD ME IT WAS COMING OUT THIS MONTH!!!!!! *flails*
…Aw, heck with it, it was great, GENAI HAD EYES DID YOU KNOW THAT??? WOW!!!!
And I had the most awesome dream last night because I was playing Cyber Troopers FOR REAL as a Fei-Yen and kicking TWO HUGE ROBOTS’ TAILS AT THE SAME FISHING TIME.
And I turned Hyper AT WILL! AND NOTHING HAD TO RECHARGE!!!!!!!!!!
And I won twice in a row! *Fei-Yen victory pose* Oh yes. Both battles, I TRUMPED YOU ALL!!!!!!
………..
All right, I am very very very very VERY hyper right now, so I think I had best shut up!

ZATCH BELL IS COMING OUT NEXT MONTH OR THIS MONTH OR SOMETHING!!

NO FISHING WAY. I THINK I JUST FOUND OUT CYBER TROOPERS WAS FOR SATURN TOO
….Crud, I have GOT to find one of those.

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August 27, 2005

How can I look into your eyes and suddenly I begin to feel this way…
How can I turn around and say I love you while the rest of the world runs away? …
Bweeheehee… lyrics again!!!  I sound like Zeon with that laugh.
But anyway! Mom and dad and the boys aren’t home, they’re at some drive-in. So- I can go on here and rant without having to worry about being chased off!! *cheer* Yes!
Oh, and about the lyrics…well…I’ve fallen into a state of being very much in love with Chaos Zero again. Yep. I was singing along to Keane all day anyway, and I’m surprisingly good at it, so I just started singing and wham! New song. That always happens, I swear…
In other related new, though. I was right about my prediction in my last entry!! –That’s right, I had a Brago+Sherry dream last night. Aaaggghh!!! Can’t escape them. If you want to hear about it, read my dream journal. I have other stuff to rant about here.
Speaking of. Last episode of the Chaos Zero series thing this morning! *sob*  I’m sorry it’s over of course, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. It was funny, though—Cream is all “oh Cheese we have to get out of here and away from Chaos” and Cheese is like “I’M NOT LEAVING I’M STAYING RIGHT HERE UNTIL HE’S BACK TO NORMAL!!” …But it was in Chao language. Yes. It’s quite amusing. All the Chao just adore Chaos because he’s their protector and such…it’s cute. 
I absolutely love, though, in the first episode when Chaos appears in front of Big and Cream and everyone and Cheese just starts jumping for joy and squeaking- and everyone else is panicking and running. It’s adorable. I love it. 
Kudos to Amy, too—she’s the only one who refers to Chaos as a “he”- which he is of course- everyone else calls him an “it”. Yes, that’s VERY nice. How would YOU like to be called an “it”, Eggman? And YOU, Sonic? And Knuckles? And Chris, too—no doubt the dumbest human alive besides Elliot, pretty much? (Sorry!!)
Jeez! I cracked up this morning because of him—He’s running towards Sonic with this Emerald he picked up, and I just said, “Watch, he’s going to trip.” And he DID!!! I laughed so hard…
Hehehe. I wish I had been there. Speaking of, actually, in my Linked-up mind, something like that happened again recently where Chaos went Perfect in the city with Sonic again—and I was there.
Talk about an emotional wreck—that’s me. But seriously!! Knowing he’s going through all that pain and suffering and there’s nothing he or I can even do about it-- it’s terrible. I kept yelling to him and even though he heard me, he couldn’t do anything. It’s like being possessed. And being so helpless, too… it’s like a gunshot through the heart to me. It breaks my heart when anyone so much as mentions his Perfect form…
I feel so terribly sorry for Chaos. I’d do almost anything if I could keep that from happening to him again… and 210 doesn’t help.
I swear he’s the devil’s messenger. Nearly every time Chaos has to suffer through hell that demonic virus thing is behind it.
…
I don’t know. I really don’t.
Times like this I just get so worked up and over-emotional and then something inside me just shatters and I just want to—I just—I just get so in love. It’s insane.
I don’t know what he’s done to me, but… there’s something about him that I just can’t keep away from, and before I know it he’s back on my mind or in my heart.
It was never this bad or this intense with Bakura or Marik… maybe because I was younger then, but… I think I got it this bad with Bakura once. And it was pretty recently, too.
And when something ever happens like with d---m---i, where I get all worried and worked up about it, it’s like that person walked up behind me and shoved an axe right through my chest wall.
It hurts. A lot. Emotionally, it hurts like you won’t believe. And sometimes it literally almost drives me to tears.
The thing is, though… Chaos understands that. The first time I turned into an emotional wreck over d---m---i, he understood completely and stood with me until I was back to normal.
I’m afraid he worries about me in that way too much, though… about how emotionally screwed up I get over things like that… I remember at one point how I was explaining to him that she never mentioned him after that picture and it was like she never cared at all, while I was constantly thinking about him and how much I love him. And he kept telling me the same thing…
You know what? He’s just as bad as me. Whenever all that Perfect crap happens he pours his heart out to me just like that. So I guess it’s a mutual thing. We’re both emotionally wrecked.
Zatch Bell is on in barely ten minutes or so, so I need to finish up… what else did I need to get off my chest in this session? With my memory, I probably won’t remember it at all.
I guess the only reason I even went on here in the first place was because I was being overpowered by my crazy emotions and I needed to write as a result. Heh… whenever that happens to Chaos he just sprouts wings and maybe a halo…  I usually cause him to do that. 
He’s my angel, all right…