071423

[prismaticbleed]

 

Up until 1 watching Kells

Oblates mass. Home & prayer. Took 40m to say altar ones

Jade pickup for therapy, music in driveway, WHO WAS FRONTING??
Vibe w colorglasses & brothertiger
huge shame undertone that they were PURPOSELY IGNORING. wtf why are socials so toxic

In office, woman threatened child. Sugar triggered, trying to move in despite social barrier. Then woman grabbed the child roughly & Wreckage was OUT, completely without warning, and SPEAKING. Voice volume forced down & fronting dulled, but she was THERE. Felt her teeth, posture change, hands shifted. "Leave him alone" I heard her growl.

No wifi so reading Max Lucado book. SHOCKED at how hard it hits.
The passage about ANGER turning from an emotion into a FORCE or SOURCE OF ENERGY??? Like a food (or hyperamped energy drink) that is keeping you alive but slowly killing you. "If you take away the zealots anger, what does she have left?" To surrender their anger is to surrender their reason to live.
MANY NOUSFONI ARE LIKE THAT. Crusade is, Cannon used to be.

Passage about "clearing the ground of the soul garden" = greed pinged BRIDGET & MISSY????????
Bridget has VERY green eyes but still brownbase hair. Dress & earrings. Realized she's not "greed" so much as vanity?? Feeling of dressing up & buying VANITY things, but not to have-- only to BOAST? Or SCORNFULLY IMPRESS??? She doesn't vibe with "purchasing," only the "looking rich." LIKE MOM.
Whereas MISSY is more greedy, but for "GIRLY" things? Like that soft blue color exemplifies. Reminds me of Tumblr "soft pastel aesthetic" moodboards & stuff, all fluff & petite things. Like those pastel color faux-fur "tinsel shape" scarf things EXACTLY. But NOT KIDCORE OR LOLI. Missy is just like 90s/00s "girly" look?
⭐Wondering what it says about their anchors that THEY were originally tied to JULIE, who exemplified tween/teen hyperfeminine schoolgirl sexuality. She was the cheerleader with pigtails & that disturbingly smooth/tight/perky bodytype that EVERY girl we see that age HAS, with the bare gams &

...

Disaster nightmare afternoon
ACCIDENT

"Even my bones are in pain, while all day long my enemies sneer and ask, “Where is your God?”
Psalms 42:10 CEV"


"This is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men love darkness rather than light, because their deeds are evil. But men who love darkness must also hate light. Its very presence makes the darkness visible; and nothing cuts to the very quick, like that which makes the heart condemn itself."


(purposely left unfinished. do not want to remember this evening at all)