notes from papers 2

[prismaticbleed]

 

cleaning out odd papers lying around and typed them out here:


RED= "LOVERS," NO LUST!!
versus pink (affection), cerise (sensuality), black (creation)
(i feel like we talked about this already? but this felt significant when we first realized it)


★Plague PRETENDS TO BE THE SUN
(did we get this from dune? it was a sudden while-reading realization, written very suddenly and significantly in all caps)
(either way it still feels huge so keep it in mind)


1229=
project hope at 1:11
"vigilance" on spotify shuffle


when reading "a grief observed"=
"original kid" and sense of "selfish completeness?" loves self, needs no other?


color links (DISHONORED) gray/aqua, etc.
(i forget what this was exactly? but i remember it was interesting. i think vibes between the game and us color-wise matching up. either way we do adore this game and have wanted to talk more about how it's resonated with us personally; like its environments are in floatspace essentially, the entire vibe of it just clicked solidly for some reason and it all feels very familiar and oddly stabilizing to be wandering through there)


★TO DO: start testing home memory.
walk around and see what triggers what, WRITE IT DOWN.
you may have to hit a NEUTRAL mindset first so stuff comes up.


STARCH=SUGAR!!
YOU CANNOT EAT EITHER.


introjects= rooted primarily in BEHAVIORS!!!
THEY DON’T HAVE TO LOOK LIKE THEIR ORIGIN PEOPLE

★alters CAN turn negative

"if I do this, they do what I tell them to do"
(withholding food, sleep, cleanness, etc.)
★CORRUPT "HELP"


- review the plush situation, ESPECIALLY with parallels to CHILDHOOD
(innocence & death with hacks)


★"jackie" = REAL "main social" alter, modeled after schoolmates
WAS AT WORK?
she knows the brother?
★ does NOT answer properly to the given name!!

SYNAPSE= BRAIN
DENDRITE= MANY DEFINITIONS


1019 NOTES
★ black & white are BACKGROUND presences??
whites/blacks are INNERS and SHOULDN'T FRONT??

★ there's a list of color + level optimization on the laptop; WORK ON THAT.

we need a FRONTER tied to the BLC & League who is INNOCENT and NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP??
who doesn't black out in public but is ALWAYS rooted inside = "in the world, NOT OF IT!!"




therapy= JUNG DREAM MEANINGS (animals)

★black horns= sacrifice (to chthonic deities?)
animal souls "true nature"



inside an ancient school notebook:

poem lines=
"don't quit"
"success is failure turned inside out"

song= dean martin?
"you're here today, no future fears
this day will last 1000 years"

 

 

something i realized today after hearing the radio at work:
avril's "complicated" and default's "wasting my time" are marked 2002????!?!?
BOTH those songs disturbed us greatly when they were first out as they both made us think of rape. no one that age should be reminded of that so easily.
so according to memories of walking around the school playground when those songs were out, that means the Julie days STARTED BETWEEN 2002-2003.
that's terrifyingly early.