june 8 2016

[prismaticbleed]

 

 

today.

confessed EVERYTHING. "joel" birthday?? (possible new body pseudonym, considering it instead of the old "jayce" bloodline as that seems perpetually fractured) new beginning feeling.

two weeks ago, may 25th, JUDE at the oblates (teal headvoice)
feels "wrong" somehow, like his face doesn't match yet? too tied to body-core overlay, needs to break off from it. but legit anchor dust there
that day was also allegedly JEWEL'S "first holy communion"????? so she fronted for it. that's HUGE.

josephina shadowing gold UNTIL the possibility of jmc introject holding it????
still lots of concern over yellow due to it being explicitly linked to childhood fear (esp. amusement parks and the NOISE associated with them, hence the "yellow= screaming" association)

"asteira" dp introject AQUA CENTRALITE possibility??
already showing signs of anchoring, possibly due to old lg*girls link roots being unexpectedly boosted by artistic focus on her w/ new shirt (also birthday cake)

"libris" q introject that still loves spinningcannon possible Lime holder???
fusion of him and selph in appearance, standalone entity that effectively existed BACK IN 2007 because it seems we loved that ideal in truth as we never knew q entirely as a person until later. and though we do love him as a friend he feels different from that original conception.

system finally, finally getting back into full time mode.
main obstacle: the "animal nature" girl that kicks in as DEFAULT when none of us are conscious. effectively the tar? not sure. it's the voice that we fought as a child, through julie: "it's my body and I want to do what I want with it"
that is a lie, the body is on loan from God, we want to treat it with love and care.

in love with everyone again, true love.
want to be a good father to xenophon, absolutely.
genesis back, says he NEEDS to stay with us in public because the bad voices kick him out as they don't like him chastising them.

laurie praying to mary today. feels disrespectful to look at details, but it pulls at my heart in a good way to know she did.

everyone saying night prayers today. easier to pray in third person, too.
saw waldorf, nathaniel, leon, lynne, laurie, infinitii, kyanos specifically praying.
kyanos prays like children in art; with hands folded up and eyes lifted. it's sweet.


every day, understanding/feeling more deeply prayers and things about our faith.
tonight, really hit home when saying "o clement, o loving, o sweet virgin mary;" never quite registered the vibe of those praises, who she really is.

we are making progress. in God, we will always be making progress in virtue.
but it's a fight, of light. we must stay conscious and stand fast.
"be sober and alert," etc. (quote that, it's important.)

there's so much love and hope and joy and faith and determination and courage and devotion in the air tonight. that's a good sign, and it's a sign if I've ever felt one lately.