aug 6 2015

[prismaticbleed]

 

 

therapy today=
emotions can only be felt in DISSOCIATIVE STATES?
like we can't be IN the body and feel emotions, it's too confusing and jarring, as we always say.
when we are in a dissociated state though, where we're NOT "in the body" physically but we're "driving it like a giant robot," i.e. we're all upstairs and feeding data & commands into it, THEN emotions can get through because they're not hitting the obstacle of fronting. does that make sense?
things make more sense to us as data, it seems, even emotions. but data gets wrapped up in intuition for us. emotions can be felt if there is no "body awareness" getting in the way. emotions are completely separate from the sense of self. it seems. it's strange but interesting.


I realized a thing today. People always talk about how they love animals, etc. and I never understood that. I never really liked animals.
Then I visited my bro in his apartment and his cat (Mooka Mcgonagall) curled up on my feet and I just wanted to pepper her little cat face with kisses. Just because. And I realized that I never really had experience with being around animals in such a non-demanding context, so I never knew that I COULD like them, because I was so used to feeling "indebted" to them, like I couldn't just care for them, I had to be a slave to them. I always felt like that with people too. I'm not sure how that all started. But I found it interesting.

Javier fronted for a minute to say hi to the cat and he said a few sentences to the bro without announcing himself. But he was grinning so much, it was great.

 
----------------------------------


A SUDDEN REALIZATION:

SPINE IS SUPER IMPORTANT BECAUSE OF HOW THE BODY MUST BE VIEWED.
viewing the body as a "person" or "self" makes it ABUSIVE, PROUD, AND SELFISH.
viewing the body as a "vessel" or "vehicle," AS A "SKELETON," gives it the vibe of patient calm gentle discernment that SPINE HOLDS SO STRONGLY.
THIS IS WHY SHE'S IMPORTANT. SHE IS THE CORRECT BODY MANAGER.