fourth time's the charm

 
fourth time's the charm.

(wip entry as this was CRAZY, publicized for relevance as I will be referring to this in the future obviously)


- floor dropped out in headspace, foggy below. unformed. we all jumped in together.
- first landed in weird white structural unformed area? sudden sourceless voice began questioning us i think. 'tore out' my heart center, first it was a white heart crystal, then a gem, then a flame, etc. voice asked me if i remembered my last 4th incident. i said yes. it then asked me if i knew what my heart had fragmented into, entirely. i couldn't quite recall. it then asked me how i could possibly be true to my heart if i didn't even know what it would break into. it then sealed marik in a thorny rosebush and ryou in a large crystal cluster.
- told me that i was too selfish to know this. told me i was incapable of real love, that my heart was cold and hard. it was worthless as a result. i knew this was a lie though so i didn't let it get to me.
- i think i centered enough to free us, anyway we were let go and asked each other what had happened. apparently it told us different things: told marik he couldn't possibly know anything for sure (worthless mind), told ryou his very existence was a lie (worthless soul).
- landed in grassy field, still foggy everywhere. then big black dragon appeared, broke through the fog, faded into tar in the air. revealed that all around us things were dying, like trees and grass.
- did ryou draw that magic circle on the ground here?? manifested huge sapphire wings. i think he was trying to convince me and marik that the voices had lied.
- suddenly ryou's ring started freaking out and his yami appeared. same with marik. then my crystal manifested and JEZEBEL appeared??? i forget what they said initially, but ryou and marik were not taking this well; i was more in shock. the yamis were repeating what the faceless voice had told us earlier, but crueler. then jezebel sneered, said "by the way, that isn't how you're supposed to wear the crystal" and broke it off the crown, then shoved it into my chest. that really hurt, but then she yanked it out and it took a huge piece of me with it?? the other yamis took the boys items, but didnt damage them--yet.
- now a huge awful fight started. the yamis became extremely tar-based as that's how stuff works in headspace. i tried to form my cathedral wings but couldn't; jezebel said "looking for this?" and held up a handful of broken cathedral feathers. then she summoned them like spikes and ran them through me; that seriously hurt. on the same token yami-b was fighting with huge gem spikes and yami-m with huge thorns. we got beaten up pretty bad as we couldn't manifest our soulforms for some reason.
- floor collapsed? turned into a bottomless cathedral and there was a huge pit.
- at the bottom i remember ryou had a huge hole in his plexus and marik was lying facedown, assumedly with one through his forehead. i also had a huge hole in my chest. we all felt absolutely horrible and couldn't figure out what to do; we were trying to deal with the eclipse energy properly but what were we supposed to do now?
- i forget what exactly happened but we were trying to talk to marik, and he suddenly told us to shut up, we didnt know anything. he audibly started slipping, insisting we didnt know what we were talking about, it was all lies. we realized he had 'lost his mind' and suddenly his entire body turned tarry and he became what his yami had been. but it told us it WASNT marik, because the real marik wouldnt act like that. however it insinuated we were all lost right now, so.
- ryou fought it? this part is very blurry,
- i ended up shouting for celebi around here, to our surprise she was able to show up. tried to heal us, couldn't manage much.
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- went to the top of the pit, yamis were back, area looked like the inside of a basilica, strange. ryou turned all tarry too, at one point i kissed him to 'help him remember' and it did get through a bit
- pulling ryou in 'glowy blue' form out of the tar shadow?? he was trapped in it, but too fragmented to hold his bodily form.
- at some point we were trying to form a resotomb for ryou but the yamis saw and kept destroying the environment so we couldn't do so. however ryou was determined and to get around this, i think he used the tar itself?? he was impaled entirely but used that immediate death to ascend ON what had just killed him. badass, really.
- paladin of void! looked very similar to his rpg outfit, gorgeous
- is this when he got his night wings?? i think he used the shadow for that too. but he got these big wispy wings of starry sky, it was gorgeous
- shortly after this we got marik out of the pit, didnt realize ryou was wearing his "stolínómin"-- his metanoiac uniform-- until he stood up. he was completely shocked but amazed and asked ryou 'when did this happen' it was pretty funny
- marik went pharaoh of hope too, celebi was in her healer outfit, trying to figure out what in the world had happened to me now
- i was entirely out-of-body for this, felt empty, not in my own self. so i saw what was happening although i was 'on' the floor of the pit?
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- "egyptian god card" bit? suddenly realized that if i was all phoenix-y and ryou now had the heavens for wings, maybe marik was to have the temple itself for wings?? we thought back to millennium world and this was a scary shock because marik realized i was STILL lost, and that fused with ryou's dragon shadow = diabound parallel. it wasnt attacking ryou and i was trapped in it. marik then decided to use hope for all it was worth, and concentrated on manifesting divine wings. the brand on his back (which had faded with his *i3* now was removed completely, formed the base for his wings, then tore apart the area around us. it began falling to pieces, but its energy surrounded him. and he succeeded-- with one last energy burst they turned into these beautiful but intimidating wings, and instantaneously marik used that power to "destroy" the shadow i was trapped in, behind ryou.
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- i ended up a glowing red winged thing like ryou had been, couldnt feel anything, they were panicking a little.
- at one point marik started to cry somewhat hysterically saying "don't you die on me" and i felt a flicker of emotion, started coming back
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- yamis returned and jezebel stabbed me through with my own wings again, my form stabilized and it was a heavy shock, "what is going on" felt like i was dying
- didn't die though wtf. couldnt center either.
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- millenium-world room with yamis, then tar room, then FLIPPED it and ended up beneath the RAZOR SPIRE
- the white water was talking to me again, reminding me of who i was, then it spread out and turned into a whole cathedral?? i dont quite remember. all i remember is that at some point the entire headspace was full of light and when it faded it turned to snow, we were in my boss' forest
- i was still dead inside, trying to figure out how to get me back, metainomen idea, but literal. needed a grave to jumpstart. celebi drew a rectangle in the ground, hoped that would work
- ryou actually had to stab me in the chest to get this working; but i wouldn't freaking die all the way so it was unstable. bats, turned white, then surrounded me in a light bubble. 'stuck' transformation, color wouldn't stabilize, marik thought it was blood at first.
- i ended up going inside, the 'old me' was there. not sure if it was jezebel or not, no tar around her. asking me if i knew who i was. similar conversation to the start. could i tell who she was vs me? or was i getting confused? apparently my title couldnt register until i could be in tune with myself again, if only for a moment.
- i must have managed because when i snapped back my robes were red. i landed and nearly collapsed, had no idea what my title was, celebi smiled and said i was the guardian of time. i nearly cried laughing saying 'are you kidding' and then suddenly my BOSS showed up???
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- ryou was really emotional when we got back, took me completely by surprise. said he loved me, i responded with 'do you really?' but not in doubt, just amazement. he replied by kissing me, for some reason that's one of the clearest things i remember
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- afterwards boss said 4th incidents happened in 'home 4' for DW, the global dream dimension, thats how he stepped in
- marik told me he believed in me-- considering both our titles that was astronomically significant to me. ryou handed me a tiny glowing shadow symbol, told me "don't forget what you told me"
- laurie was pretty ticked that we were 'worried' about my metainomen, pointed out that "there's more than one way to shift in headspace." the names are fluid, heart-based, based on growth. they aren't static. the roles and abilities we were given by that naming were supposed to CHALLENGE us here too, to KEEP changing into that ideal. it's a process, marked BY the name, not a done-and-dusted thing. and it REQUIRES DEATH just as frequently. old habits die hard, as the saying goes, and so do vices. marik had hope, because that goes against his mind bias: he has to believe even if there is no 'proof.' ryou had void, because that goes against the light he wants to bring people, he's afraid of his shadows. and i held time because i just dont understand that at all right now. apparently it ties into presence. either way laurie said it held a huge lesson i had to learn, only i would know what that was though.
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