the spectrum heart cathedral system

crazy stuff happening upstairs on the way to school.
stream of consciousness log before english class so i don't forget it


- laurie, chaos, genesis and lynne talking upstairs, worried about last night, esp. relapse.
- lynne is angry that laurie isn't asking for help. laurie says that she's just afraid that asking for assistance means she's 'failed at her purpose,' i.e. being my guardian/ superego/ what have you. lynne says that isn't the case, even if I HAVE fallen pretty far, it's not because laurie 'wasn't strong enough.' then lynne says 'maybe this isn't supposed to be your job alone,' reminding her that there are other levels besides purple that need help. laurie gives in, accepts her help.
- cz mention of empathy? 'not feeling' my energy possibly because of a wall or voidout. laurie said she wanted to see if there was a deeper reason for that.
- called leon in, laurie said take us underground, leon said he really did not want to go back there. laurie said too bad. both of them had a 'really bad feeling about this' though
- they go underground and the tar room is empty. just some tar dripping from the ceiling against the far wall. everyone's shocked, leon is fighting back tears, obviously very frustrated as well though.
- laurie tries to go upstairs, but the stairwell goes on forever, she can't warp space 'up' like i can, neither can chaos. they argue about this being relevant to our personal energy resonances for a bit (laurie insisting i have a connection to space), lynne gets angry and tells them to stop, saying that 'maybe he is more tied to blood than anything' because stuff like this keeps happening. laur and cz consider this worriedly then come back in, decide to ask leon if he can just warp us up a level.
- leon is not doing well, he starts saying that 'he has a closer connection' to me than he realized; he's actually the first and ONLY headvoice that started out as a male. so he's kind of a milestone as far as personal genuineness goes. also he has a strong connection to cathedrals go figure. but he's freaking out over the tar on the far wall, insists it's 'bleeding;' laurie says it's just tar but leon insists it's both. this reminds her of the rifts, leon says he doesn't know if there's any connection at all, there might be, but right now he just wants to heal that.
- he runs over and checks where the tarblood is hitting the floor. the drops are 'boiling' as they hit, this makes leon even more desperately furious and he starts trying to rub them away/ stomp them out, when that doesn't work he yells to genesis to help him, 'don't you know how to heal a cathedral?' gen gets confused, says he just inherited his cathedral from his dad, he doesn't know much about him. leon cuts him off and starts desperately trying to 'warp space,' get some spasmodic blue sparkles around his hands but thats it, no manifestation. but he DOES get the floor to flicker-blink white a few times. when nothing happens he asks chaos to help (he can spacewarp), to make something to catch the tarblood. chaos makes a large flower but leon yanks it out of the way quickly, glares at chaos and says 'nothing alive.' then laurie just walks over, summons a bladed discus and sets it on the floor. so the tarblood is dripping into that now, except when it hits it, it 'solidifies' into black crystals. leon was shocked, asked how in the world she did that, laurie just shrugged and says she has no idea what it's doing.
- right around now leon decides to focus and bring them all up to the actual blc. as soon as they arrive, the place is dripping with tar. leon falls to his knees and just starts crying. laurie asks him why he keeps doing that, leon just snaps and says he's 'had it.'
- leon stands up, asks vaguely 'how did i use to take chances?' laurie says she's not telling him, but leon starts reciting examples. then he says he's ready to take the biggest chance ever, doesn't care how much of a risk it is to him. laurie angrily starts telling him 'don't you dare' but leon isn't listening. with one last comment (taking bets?) he kneels down and presses his palms to the floor. there is a flash throughout the cathedral and suddenly leon 'crystallizes,' then quickly warps into it, covers the entire inside of the cathedral in some sort of thick bluish crystal, effectively 'trapping' the tar underneath.
- laurie reacts first, with a 'what the hell did you do??' then starts shouting for leon to 'get out of there' but to no avail. something happened here where chaos spoke up and was trying to say he might have a shot because he was pretty close to leon's color slot (two down). laurie angrily retorted that she was even closer, just one slot up. chaos hesitated, and then was about to say that he was at least nearer my red slot by being further down, then realized that after violet it loops, so laurie is closer there too. he stopped, smiled somewhat bitterly, and said "i guess you really are closer to him than i am." laurie didnt' respond, but she looked deeply concerned for a moment.
- anyway they couldn't waste time, so laurie decided that since leon had just crystallized himself over the tar, that we needed to get julie in here. she called her up and julie came up via the corner stairwell, asking what she needed her for. she didn't look good though-- her hair was a mess and was starting to turn blonde again, and her irises looked 'shattered' between blue and pink. laurie immediately asked what in the world was going on, julie simply said she was 'losing her color,' trying to sound unaffected but obviously deeply disturbed.
- laurie and julie spoke for a bit here, quickly turned into another argument, lynne got straight-up pissed and started shouting at them, 'don't you realize what you're doing?' adding that maybe this was part of the deeper problem; our relationships with each other were kind of crumbling. i think julie asked if a bard could focus on their non-destructive side, laurie said yeah, but only if you overcome the destructive side first.
- anyway julie decided she'd had enough. she got very very angry with the fact that leon had pulled such a stunt, saying that she didn't want anyone else to corrupt like she did, especially not through something as careless as that. so after yelling at him a few times with no answer, she summoned her whip and snapped it at the wall. instead of ricocheting, it 'stuck' like tar itself, then when she pulled it back it actually tore out a huge block of the blue crystal and flung it backwards across the room. when it hit the floor it shattered and leon re-formed from it. he was dazed for a second, then demanded 'what did you do that for??' julie didn't have time to respond though because immediately the tar started pouring out of the hole in the crystal.
- the tar forms into a beastly skeletal thing, fills up about half the room. julie is not happy with this and responds by warping to a pink energy form?? immediately starts fighting it tooth and nail, laurie is obviously stunned. lynne soon joins in, firing orange energy arrows at it. genesis and chaos are standing back for now, understandably hesitant.
- laurie does jump into the fight quickly,
- ('what happened to my color,' tar pretending to be me then xennie, lynne attacks first and chaos flips out, then julie finishes it and essentially says 'this isn't your job.' laurie is still shaken up though, suddenly runs out of room, tells chaos 'watch my back.' heads down votive hallway. tar follows, lynne gets it first, then suddenly chaos calls after it from the other room, has two crystal swords. says 'come and get me,' tar takes him up on the offer, laurie keeps running)
- (weird inner room? door disappears. i'm in chains, weird bleeding eyes. excalibur on altar. laurie asks what in the world is going on, i say i really don't know)
- (chains, 'magic weapon,' warp to empty space? chainlink now, i focus on violet energy, get NEBULA stars, say 'this is the right kind.' give those to laur instead, remind her that 'this is what you're supposed to do.' manifest angel helmet too, give it to her because she asked. sudden warp back to inner room, in chains again, noise from beyond. asks how the heck to get out of there, i say she has to just 'want to leave,' but i think i just warped her straight out anyway.)
- back to middle room, everyone's fighting, stop for a moment when laurie appears, this brilliant violet fire.
- (leon is the one that ends it, fires one bullet, 'that was a warning shot.' when the tar leaps at him instead, he fires some huge explosive shot that WARPS the cathedral into a snowy one, tosses the tar over an edge, then warps us all back to central headspace. leon curls up on the floor shaking, that was an immense energy burnout)
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- (julie started talking about how she felt like a recovering alcoholic. IMPORTANT tar detail. mentioning the importance of friends to support her, hoped in her being something more than what she was, even when that hellish history was literally staring her in the face. ended soon after that)