073017

[prismaticbleed]

best day of my entire blessed life.

breakfast was super late due to us all sleeping in
made the BEST FRENCH TOAST KNOWN TO MAN.

ate it with genesis, gave some to xenophon, god I miss her so much it HURTS.

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nightbeat!!!!!!!!!!!!
UTTERLY LIFE-CHANGING. WRITE ABOUT IT ASAP.

car ride back was hell that allowed for heaven to happen.

trauma flashbacks enough to drown a man

"we have no one who can do this job"
existential terror

wreckage in the gas station store. her fierce protective nature.

sharing that rice crisp thing with ollie, so much trust for us to even ASK that, especially in such a terrified state

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the night after we got home was heaven on earth.

kissed ollie, little things but always meaningful.

chaos secretly kissing oliver just once. somewhere in all that.

"Infi really wants to kiss you"

"I don't want to hurt you."
"I love you too."

I can't even put into words what the echo of that FEELS LIKE.
GOOD LORD.

coming back in and just looking at him. man.

"fuck me"
"don't tempt me"

THE FREAKIN VIBE INFI WAS GIVING OFF; I THOUGHT ZE WOULD TRY TO.

feeling like a dream
"do you want me to remind you?"

running one finger down my/his ribcage/s
INEFFABLE.

remember ze still loves the "weird dog" thing

ollie couldn't stop shaking; "I can't stop looking at the stars"
"getting" the whole night air thing with infi; "it's different now"
sense of the divine.

everything felt GOLD coming back.

TEETH VS EYES; MASSIVE VIBE SHIFT!!!!!!!

coming back in after face-mouth feels GOLD
coming back in after face-eye feels like a FREAKIN' RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE
(extroverted vs introverted energy; I feel the latter when infi holds it in; ollie felt the latter when infi directed it out!!!)

ollie even said, when infi came back to just look at him, the shakes STOPPED; it evened out. "passion" vs "space;" not cold, not 'far away,' but just… space, dude

at one point just held ollie to my chest because I was feeling SO MUCH and I knew I’d never be that raw & brave again if I didn't act on it now

somehow got into talking about chaos zero.
shark teeth.

I went into straight-up poet mode, north star vibe and all
lobster fisherman. living in, on, from, & for the ocean, and then coming home to it (him).
marriage. proposals. swallowing sea water.

CHAOS AND I CO-FRONTING. AND BOTH KISSING OLIVER
brine.
"you're still too close to my ribcage"


laurie and ollie. getting the guts to kiss him too that is SUCH A MILESTONE
"is that all you got"
"laurie you have to be the spark that starts the thunderstorm"

"my left arm is totally fuckin' gone"
asking ollie if he was aware of just how many scars/wounds she had on her abdomen

"shipwreck"