"how we feel" december 9-16 2024
Dec. 16th, 2024 11:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
prismaticbleed2024 Mon Dec 9 6:03 AM
I'M FEELING = CHALLENGED
WHY = WE'RE GONNA GET THROUGH TODAY BY THE GRACE OF GOD NO MATTER WHAT
CONTEXT TAGS = Family,Lou's House,Driving;Interim
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2024 Mon Dec 9 10:20 AM
I'M FEELING = CONFIDENT
WHY = We're GETTING IT DONE
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System,Medical Office,Medical Appointment
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2024 Mon Dec 9 11:56 AM
I'M FEELING =EMPOWERED
WHY = We SUCCESSFULLY GOT THROUGH THE MORNING! Now we have the afternoon but THANK GOD WE WILL GET THROUGH THAT TOO
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself;With The System,Commuting,Medical Appointment
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2024 Mon Dec 9 2:08 PM
I'M FEELING = APPREHENSIVE
WHY = Possible credit check failure on the headphones. Feeling stupid for even ordering them although they are a LEGIT NEED for mental health.
Also upset because we're hyperbuying apples to ""find out what they taste like,"" AGAIN.
WHO THE HECK FONI IS IN CHARGE OF THIS. FIND THEM AND TALK TO THEM FOR HEAVENS SAKE.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Commuting,Medical Appointment;Business Work
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2024 Mon Dec 9 3:43 PM
I'M FEELING = THANKFUL
WHY = Finally sitting down to lunch, with beautiful rain outside.
It's been very much a Genesis day, which is awesome. I love him so much.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself;With The System,Home,Eating
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2024 Mon Dec 9 7:42 PM
I'M FEELING = HUMILIATED
WHY = Listening to Bruno Mars & singing along stupidly when we realized a young girl heard us. Total humiliation and self-loathing.
I REPEAT, WHAT FONI IS DOING THIS MANIC SINGING STILL? It destroys our mood and reputation.
CONTEXT TAGS = In Public;In The Store,Commuting;Shopping,Driving;Listening To Music
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2024 Tue Dec 10 12:07 AM
I'M FEELING = HOPELESS
WHY = Feeling useless, purposeless, and a failure.
Tumblr idiocy browsing ruining my mind.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home,Sleeping
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2024 Tue Dec 10 8:38 AM
I'M FEELING = SAD
WHY = Bad dreams, exhausted with unrestful sleep, still have to do laundry today.
I just want to actually rest.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself;With The System,Home,Just Woke Up
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2024 Tue Dec 10 10:14 AM
I'M FEELING = DEPRESSED
WHY = Like weeping
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home,Exercising
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2024 Tue Dec 10 12:48 PM
I'M FEELING = PRODUCTIVE
WHY = Getting ALL the laundry, cleaning, & cooking done!
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System,Home,Busywork;Cooking;Cleaning;Laundry
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2024 Tue Dec 10 2:52 PM
I'M FEELING = ACCOMPLISHED
WHY = FOUR LOADS OF LAUNDRY DONE and we even cooked that butternut squash.
SUCCESS!
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System,Home,Cooking;Cleaning
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2024 Tue Dec 10 3:12 PM
I'M FEELING = WORRIED
WHY = Worried about how our body will react to new lunch. Still gonna try. Exercise will help too.
Don't panic bro! Pray about it!
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home,Eating
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2024 Tue Dec 10 10:20 PM
I'M FEELING = ENRAGED
WHY = F*male bullsh*t.
Two days better not do a damn thing.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home,Cooking;Cleaning
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2024 Wed Dec 11 9:07 AM
I'M FEELING = GRATEFUL
WHY = WE DIDN'T DIE DURING THE NIGHT
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System,Home,Just Woke Up
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2024 Wed Dec 11 11:59 AM
I'M FEELING = CONNECTED
WHY = Anxi's group AND Central WORKING TOGETHER.
Feeling genuine hope for the future.
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System,Home,Busywork;Cooking;Cleaning
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2024 Wed Dec 11 12:29 PM
I'M FEELING = LOVED
WHY = Chaos 0 talking to the Emotions & outright telling Anxi "Jewel is in love with you".
Embarrassment pointedly didn't touch the controls, but Joy ran over & did. This 'allowed' Anxi to feel what she was REALLY feeling-- and God I FELT it.
She teared up & smiled & it felt like a sunrise.
Please remember that forever.
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System,Headspace,Talking To Central
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2024 Wed Dec 11 2:27 PM
I'M FEELING = NERVOUS
WHY = Rushed for time, got an inexplicable hive, trying sweet potatoes.
But HOPE is determined to find the blessing, because God IS present in ALL this too.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself;With The System,Home,Eating
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2024 Wed Dec 11 5:59 PM
I'M FEELING = DISAPPOINTED
WHY = So little good music.
Spent too much time looking at art on Tumblr and feeling totally inadequate.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home,Listening To Music;Exercising
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2024 Thu Dec 12 5:16 AM
I'M FEELING = LOVED
WHY = Late night conversations with Chaos 0 & Laurie.
I'm not getting ANY sleep and it's ENTIRELY WORTH IT ♡♡♡
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System,On The Laptop;Headspace,Listening To Music;Journaling
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2024 Thu Dec 12 10:21 AM
I'M FEELING = AT EASE
WHY = Nice breakfast, good music, everyone talking together.
(Julie typing ♡ it's good to be alive and safe this morning.)
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System,Home,Eating;Talking To Central;Nousfoni Fronting
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2024 Thu Dec 12 1:55 PM
I'M FEELING = CONTEMPT
WHY = Wasting time on Tumblr while biking again. So fed up with how people act on there.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home,Internet Browsing
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2024 Thu Dec 12 2:37 PM
I'M FEELING = RELIEVED
WHY = Exercise done. After we eat we can archive.
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System,Home,Eating
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2024 Thu Dec 12 3:58 PM
I'M FEELING = SCARED
WHY = Mom texted and wants us to go up the house. Already we've started panic dissociating and had to stop a knee-jerk panic binge (trying to shut down our consciousness + self abuse overwhelm-analogue mom coping).
Genuinely scared stiff. Might have to bike more to burn off the sheer panic.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home,Cleaning
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2024 Thu Dec 12 11:47 PM
I'M FEELING = TRAPPED
WHY = why won't this stop
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home,Disordered Behavior
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2024 Fri Dec 13 4:50 AM
I'M FEELING = MOVED
WHY = Reading "the sea and the stars."
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System,Home,Reading The Archives
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2024 Fri Dec 13 10:32 AM
I'M FEELING = LOVED
WHY = IN love, too. Waking up literally to see Anxi at her laptop & Laurie close by, and Chaos 0 in my arms.
Absolutely a good morning. ♡
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System,Home,Just Woke Up
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2024 Fri Dec 13 11:58 AM
I'M FEELING = TENSE
WHY = Feeling the weight of foo many responsibilities and scheduled things, especially for the weekend.
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System,Home,Eating
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2024 Fri Dec 13 12:31 PM
I'M FEELING = MISERABLE
WHY = THE THRISKEFONI DON'T CARE ABOUT US!!!
THEY ONLY CARE ABOUT THEIR RELIGION
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System,Home;Headspace,Eating;Cooking;Cleaning
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2024 Fri Dec 13 2:42 PM
I'M FEELING = GOOD
WHY = A little bit of hope. Good tunes by Ginger Root, and a supportive phone appointment with the case manager.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home,Exercising
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2024 Fri Dec 13 7:15 PM
I'M FEELING = INSPIRED
WHY = Uploading Chalyx's entries about Calyrex and WOW these are amazing.
Also SPECTACULAR PROG ROCK AT LAST, THANK YOU GOD & ALSO SPOTIFY
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System,On The Laptop,Archiving
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2024 Sat Dec 14 12:38 AM
I'M FEELING = HOPELESS
WHY = this won't stop.
and tomorrow we have that damned dinner party with mom
I feel so dead.
I just need a week to do nothing but sleep and weep
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System,Home,Disordered Behavior
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2024 Sat Dec 14 5:19 AM
I'M FEELING = VULNERABLE
WHY = remembering when infi died.
chaos 0 & laurie weeping with me. lynne too.
everyone's hearts shattered.
feeling gravely like we need a hard reset. on purpose. we never had closure on cnc. it never "ended" we need to do that now.
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System,Home,Reading The Archives
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2024 Sat Dec 14 1:16 PM
I'M FEELING = NERVOUS
WHY = Dinner party tonight. Inevitable social panic.
YOU KOINOFONI HAD BETTER BE TUNED IN OR WE'RE GONNA BE IN TROUBLE
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home,Exercising;Cooking
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2024 Sat Dec 14 2:01 PM
I'M FEELING = LOVED
WHY = Listening to JVKE and just feeling System love so strongly. Thank You God for inspiring this kid & leading us to his tunes. We need this so much right now.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself;With The System,Home,Eating;Exercising
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2024 Sat Dec 14 5:59 PM
I'M FEELING = FRIGHTENED
WHY = Going to dinner party.
Still frighteningly sick from throwing up earlier
CONTEXT TAGS = Family,Commuting,Driving
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2024 Sat Dec 14 7:57 PM
I'M FEELING = INCLUDED
WHY = Dinner with the fam!
CONTEXT TAGS = Family,Restaurant,Eating
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2024 Sun Dec 15 1:48 PM
I'M FEELING = APPREHENSIVE
WHY = Having to calorie-pack meals today because BK is at 1345. Scared it'll feel overwhelming.
So tired of being sick. Food has again become the enemy.
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System,Home,Eating;Cooking
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2024 Sun Dec 15 2:17 PM
I'M FEELING = INSPIRED
WHY = THANK YOU SAINT PAUL & YOUVERSION TRANSLATIONS FOR GALATIANS 2
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System,Home,Eating;Reading Scripture
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2024 Sun Dec 15 4:12 PM
I'M FEELING = PRESSURED
WHY = We have TOO MUCH STUFF. What do we do with all these books?? It's driving me insane.
God PLEASE give us the direction we need here, WHO DO WE GIVE THEM TO
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home,Busywork;Praying
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2024 Sun Dec 15 4:54 PM
I'M FEELING = GOOD
WHY = Actual happiness right now.
Good prog rock, System love, and Christmas lights.
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System,Home,Exercising
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2024 Sun Dec 15 5:29 PM
I'M FEELING = ANNOYED
WHY = Body frustrations.
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System,Home,Exercising
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2024 Sun Dec 15 7:46 PM
I'M FEELING = STRESSED
WHY = Shopping with mom. Still no dinner.
CONTEXT TAGS = Family,Commuting,Cleaning;Shopping
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2024 Sun Dec 15 9:41 PM
I'M FEELING = PANICKED
WHY = Minor binge GOD WILLING but still a binge. Wrecked and terrified and miserable.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself;With The System,Home,Disordered Behavior
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2024 Sun Dec 15 10:41 PM
I'M FEELING = TRAPPED
WHY = Why can't I stop?
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself;Praying To Jesus,Home,Disordered Behavior
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2024 Sun Dec 15 11:34 PM
I'M FEELING = SPENT
WHY = Destroyed all the danger food. We want to cry or shut off completely.
That bloody TBHU didn't fix ANYTHING.
CONTEXT TAGS = Praying To Jesus,Home,Disordered Behavior
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2024 Mon Dec 16 8:43 AM
I'M FEELING = SPENT
WHY = Poor sleep, not eating well, stressed beyond capacity to cope.
We desperately need a WEEK of nothing but headspace.
Koinofoni are actually starting to consider ""running away"" again.
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System;With Case Manager,Psychology Office,Psychology Appointment
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2024 Mon Dec 16 11:36 AM
I'M FEELING = LOVED
WHY = Visiting Our Lord ♡
CONTEXT TAGS = Praying To Jesus,Church;Adoration Chapel,Adoration
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2024 Mon Dec 16 1:01 PM
I'M FEELING = SAD
WHY = Body still so out of shape. Kitchen lights burnt out. Teeth still hurt like hell.
Exhausted. Life feels stuck, outside at least.
CONTEXT TAGS = With The System,Home,Cooking;Cleaning
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2024 Mon Dec 16 7:06 PM
I'M FEELING = DISAPPOINTED
WHY = Popular media being far less laudable than I hoped. So done with all the promiscuity, violence, language, and casual blasphemy.
Emotionally & mentally exhausted.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home,Watching Animation
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2024 Mon Dec 16 8:36 PM
I'M FEELING = TERRIFIED
WHY = Night hunger. I keep eating carrots. Terrified of binge risk. God help me please WHY AM I SO HUNGRY
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home,Eating;Cooking;Cleaning
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2024 Mon Dec 16 8:38 PM
I'M FEELING = GUILTY
WHY = So distracted & frustrated with mom talk about clothes.
I feel so bad that I cannot seem to pay proper attention to her. Lord forgive me and help me.
CONTEXT TAGS = By Myself,Home,Talking To Mom
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