061923

[prismaticbleed]

 
Church
No appointment
Wegmans stop briefly, Genesis upstairs offering support
Said no to chocolate compulsion!
Frankincense considered, but lung spasms

Klonoa music talk
"We kin Klonoa so hard" = felt like we LIVED THE GAME
Almost in tears from how much we love it
KLONOA IS TO JEWEL WHAT NIER IS TO JAY
ARE THE JAYCES TIED TO DISHONORED??????

BK prep ALONE at last
"Waiting for impact" social residual anxiety
So much "any second now" fumbles & dissociation

Taffy "triggers" (get new jargon: not ping either)
Butter rum & Genesis fronting, "What color he would have to be" = GOLD. Got Wreckage to front and it MATCHED RESONANCE!!!!!
Vanilla is PASTEL VIOLET????
Sugar fronting, said it didn't match her, BUT the "sweetness" ITSELF did in the "sharp" regard?

Lynne & Siobhan confronting briefly (w carrot & dishes)
Confused body: "can't have 2 people in the driver's seat" = went into automaton movement

Daily devotional = evangelization & "Christ as our goal" = THE HARVEST IS RIPE; WHERE ARE THE REAPERS???
In our very unique field WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN VITAL WORK!!!

Bathroom door open w jades stuff= TWO FONI TRIGGERED
Light blue tween? "Thousand yard stare" "being watched" resignation
Peachy pink Young adult? "Cheeky," "peach" vibe. Selling self as consumable. Automated. LIKE WHAT INFI INTERNALIZED

Mimic & reconciliation Etymology = "call together" & John 5, "the dead will hear His voice"
Also it implies a restoration of what already once was = "He created me" "I'm not as much a stranger to God as I think I am"

Awful mom call "My life has to continue" + "all four of you screwed up" basically. "Why can't you all be normal"
VERBATIM "when I die you're all screwed, and that keeps me up at night, because none of you can survive without me" and "I want to enjoy my life and have fun, I want everything to be normal, but I CAN'T have a life because of you kids"= what is she even trying to communicate? Does she hate us? What does she want us to do or say???
How do I respond without bitterness or judgment?

Jesus identity with God based on total obedience = "Jesus never did what he wanted to do but always what God wanted him to do. It is because his will was completely submitted to God's will that we see God in him... This obedience is not based on submission to power; it is based on love. The unity between Jesus and God is a unity of love. We speak of two minds having only a single thought and two hearts beating as one. In human terms that is a perfect description of the relationship between Jesus and God. There is such complete identity of mind and will and heart that Father and Son are one."
We can only submit our wills so totally if we WANT TO BE ONE WITH who we are obeying. And we can only want that oneness if we LOVE THEM TOTALLY.
Rebellion occurs as a result of INVASION/VIOLATION FEAR??? Like how we're terrified of the mother. No obedience = "unity of will" because we don't WANT to be "PART OF HER" = feels monstrous
The biggest question= why then are we afraid to obey God? Who do we falsely fear He is? What do we fear He will do to us if we are united with Him? Because that's what it boils down to= loss of selfhood, even if the "self" is toxic & hated & evil. Are we afraid that its death is fatal to our soul as a whole? Or are we afraid of "who God will turn us into instead," like a zombie or a bodysnatcher? 

Green = color of PRIESTS??? "Ordinary time" = life of Christ