dec 22 2015

[prismaticbleed]

I've realized that we've been so preoccupied with the stress of survival lately that we haven't been paying much attention to much else?
Like at home, we're just trying to stay safe, and eat without getting awfully sick, and do work for the grandparents, etc. But the responsibilities pile up so fast, we're so tired.
And it's been eating away at our personal goals and responsibilities, because by the time we can sit down (like 9pm) we're so frazzled that we end up dissociating, or handing over the reins to fronters who can operate in such an environment (they aren't internally productive at all and that's bad).
Kyanos needs to help us meditate more often, solid, for longer amounts of time. We NEED to get back into the hour-long ones we used to do, they usually instigated massive internal chance and/or revelation and we desperately need a good boost right now.
Something tells me Jay will be the one to pull that off first; what with Chaos 0 and all, he has indelible ties to the deepest essence of headspace, to the vast colorfulness of it that colors the best parts of the past 2 years, that none of us can ever really forget. But we want to live it that richly again, that actively. So we will.



TBAS mentioned it's the Solstice today and we totally forgot; for us personally that day has always been tied to Halcyon Days so it has a very different meaning than most would assign to it I suppose. For us the solstice brings feelings of kingfishers and oceans and the vastness of space and the life within it. The longest night of the year, the longest time of dark and quiet and birth and creation and infinite possibility, stretching up in a velvet blanket of icy stars and quiet. That's the solstice!


Guess who fronted fro about 60% of the day today? HOOPA.
Talk about a rock solid anchor, holy light. He slips in and just clicks and he's already talking to Cel and Vixie and I'd say I'm surprised but I'm not, not at all.
So it's his birthday today and it was Markus's yesterday and tomorrow is Jay's anniversary and then it's CHRISTMAS. HOORAY.
But yeah Jewel insisted we make the trek to a McDonalds (there's one near our house??? on the highway??? we were ready to drive out of town but hey whoa) to get a legit game Hoopa on Y, and it's perfect because he has a Naïve nature and "is somewhat vain" which is EXACTLY what our innerspace Hoopa dude is like. I like him, he's sweet.
He's also obsessed with this song and kept blasting it in the car with Cel, the both of them dancing. He has the most obvious grin, it's great. Like you know he's out with that look.
Agh but I'm SO GLAD he's already like absolutely anchored in here as an Outspacer. I LOVE him, I love having all these Pokemon around so much.

We're strongly considering buying Omega Ruby but only if we have the funds, and if we can play it safely (i.e. no staggering fiction lag). We shall seeee.


We bought a bottle of melatonin gummy-pills again because even though we're exhausted we can't get tired lately, at all. Hence the staying up until 3. So we take one cherry coma squishy pill and then within 20 minutes we're actually yawning, which is something.
Melatonin also helps dream recall a lot apparently, and Jay's been remembering them a little more recently anyway so HOPEFULLY we'll get back to the daily dream journal. When we don't remember our dreams we're a mess, our whole sense of reality gets thrown off. Maybe that's part of why we've felt so off lately? Probably.


Jay bought a new kind of toothpaste and it's delicious but it's wintergreen with neem and I keep laughing at that. Green with neeeeem. For your teeeeth!

The Snap-On Tools guy at work gave us pink socks as a gift. Yesss. They're fantastic.
We also finally got one of those gray "Colors" shirts our dad always used to wear so we're now officially part of the painter's gang, haha.


Oh we found out, Jemma IS the one who keeps eating oats, she says they "taste the same color as her" and she's always so exhausted-tired (but not sad?) all the time, she goes to them for comfort food.
Chocoloco keeps her under control, he's very compassionate with her.

-- But there's an alter (the one who was just writing?) who steps in and always eats them instead of her, although it would be more accurate to say she just ruins the food and chomps it up to throw it out. She claims she "works for The Destroyer" and she feels like Ruby and/or Hoseki, age 14-15, close enough to mania to be a slip-hacker if they aren't careful.
However today she did speak to Jemma and Chocoloco, explaining herself and letting them do the same, so hopefully they will reach a cooperative, respectful, healthy agreement that will not harm the body but which will also fulfill their individual needs.
That issue of "pursuing concepts" in the physical is still a major concern. It could theoretically be completely, easily healed with more frequent indepth access to headspace, hence the meditation topic previously. It would be in our best interests to try.



It's so foggy out tonight, it's magical.
It's TOO WARM though. Jay wants it to snow and it hasn't snowed and he said he's going to be the snow and that's great but PUT SOME OUTSIDE PLEASE OKAY THANKS.


Now the body is falling asleep standing up and Laurie is glaring at me because I get too manic and nonchalant or whatever and she says there are important things to do. I guess I don't pay attention, I'm just too excited and hyper and she says nighttime is not the time for that! So off I go, bye~~~