prismaticbleed | june 19 2015 (Reply)

random notes as of today because I haven't been updating.

first off, DON'T FORGET RAZWELL JOINED US ON TUESDAY I THINK
LAURIE JUST SAID THAT'S ACTUALLY HUGELY SIGNFICANT BECAUSE OF WHAT HIS PROBLEM WAS= LAUGHING TOO MUCH, BECAUSE YOU FEEL YOU HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE
OR BECAUSE YOURE SCARED
WHICH IS WHAT SHES BEEN DOING TOO

josephina is cracking open
this is HUGELY important for him. he's never had this opportunity before?
yellow has been a notably undeveloped color for us since childhood; originally it only denoted masculinity, and it was associated with courage. that was it! synaesthetically it ended up being very negative, and I think jo got tangled up in that, especially with hir messy origins in 2010.
nevertheless ze is trying extremely hard to brighten both hirself and hir color now --and yes, suddenly gendervariant pronouns feel right for hir, rather than defaulting to male presentation. so there you go

ALSO REMEMBER THIS EVENING W/ LAURIE & INFINITII
WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS

swords through the heart
the neck scar.
bandage thing again, magnetism/black hole feeling
only being able to kiss her when that is happening

but I don’t think I have ever, ever, felt that close to her, not even back in the karuna event, in 2014.

she held my hand the way you hold someone's hands when they're going off to war.
it was one of the most sincere, tangible things I've ever felt.
the only things I remember from my dream last night are that I was with chaos for some time, and that before I woke up, I was holding her hands again.
I could still feel the pressure when I woke up, it was one of the most existentially validating things I've ever experienced

with infinitii. merging thing? fitting together like puzzle pieces. RIBCAGES.

RAZIA'S SHADOW POSSIBLY TALKS ABOUT THE GAP??????????
"REUINITE THIS WORLDS DIVIDED HALVES, FULFILL THEIR HISTORY…"
it has been AGES since we last listened to that musical, so do so.

also, heard on the radio tonight: THE COLOR BROWN IS DEEPLY GROUNDING AND CAN STOP SUICIDAL URGES.
Spine has ALWAYS been vitally important and terribly overlooked. but her importance has been absolutely spiking lately, which we cannot ignore. its very exciting actually, we love her and cant wait to see what this means at large.
all importance lately feels expansive. like this is having long term solid effects.