dance to the music

[prismaticbleed]

I apologize for not having updated in a while, but life has been kind of painful and slow.
However, last night was FREAKING AWESOME.
I paid in blood for it, but still. Let me explain!

I had a bad hack around 5PM, which left me practically incapacitated and awfully sick for the next 8 hours. This is typical, which is what scares me. You know... shaking, headaches, chills, throwing up, unable to think straight, the works. Every freaking time. I told you she's trying to kill me!
Anyway I had to deal with that until midnight, because my little brothers were staying out late without transportation and told me to pick them up... but by the time they called I was so sick I could barely see or stand, let alone drive. So Viral went to get them and I collapsed in bed, hoping to fall asleep fast and get the day over with.
However, I should mention that whenever I'm sick, I have to fall asleep with my iPod on (having calming music to listen to keeps me relatively stable, and keeps away the bad panic attacks I otherwise get)... and on any given night, whenever I go to sleep, there is always a days-end meeting in my headspace.
So I get there, and Laurie, Chaos and Genesis are waiting for me. I explained how I was feeling, as thanks to the hack my mind was having bad flashbacks, but I began to panic and Laurie called me out on it, telling me not to dwell on the past. Then she did something I almost missed-- she waved away our stress-warping mindscape and brought us to a wide-open promenade. It took me a moment to realize what she had just did, but I was shocked. Immediately I asked Laurie to summon one of her weapons. She did, summoning a few axes and asking why. Ecstatic, I wondered aloud how I had never noticed it before, but Laurie apparently had some sort of creative rights within headspace. She was stunned at this and insisted that her weapon creation was not a creative right, it was part of her natural abilities-- she was a shapeshifter weapon, after all. I acknowledged this, but then pointed out that if she could do that, and then if she could edit our mindscape like she just did, she obviously had something. So I am really excited as to what that means! We're going to look into it.
Anyway, we all sat down then and just started talking as usual, but I actually had my iPod with me and so we were chilling out to music too. It was really nice, just being able to relax with everybody instead of worrying... but something happened that I didn't expect. "Extrkt" by Knxwledge came on. That is practically Josephina's theme song... and yes, he heard. Barely two seconds into the song he warps into our mindscape, ecstatic, and starts dancing. It was hilariously awesome, and it lifted my mood a ton. So after it ended we asked him to stick around. We ended up listening to some more uplifting music then, and I warped us to a theater mindscape so we could participate in it personally. Little did I know that Josephina's sudden arrival was not the only surprise I'd have that night.
Ryou, Marik, and Genesis showed up.
YES, SERIOUSLY.
You guys should all know who Genesis is, but as for the other two, they were my absolute best mental friends from about 2002 to 2006. They are awesome, nowhere to lie, but with the insanity that was my high school experience, we slowly started losing contact. After 2006 I rarely saw them around at all. It broke my heart, sure, but with how absolutely messed up my life was at the time, I couldn't do too much to bring things back together. Then 2008 happened, and well, you know how the story goes from there.
They've been showing up here and there within the past year, which is amazing as I miss them, but they've never just shown up to hang out like they used to. So having them both walk into our mindscape around 11PM was incredible.
Of course, the first thing that happened was that Marik and Chaos had to fight it out. Those two have been best rivals since they met, and Fridays are 'fight night' (it's an old joke) so it was inevitable. It was also hilarious to watch, because it ended in Marik getting Chaos close enough to the edge of the stage to push him off. Then if that wasn't bad enough, my iPod decided to keep playing music from the Sonic the Hedgehog games, which Marik complained loudly about. It was the funniest thing. Anyway, since Chaos was apparently getting 'too much music attention,' Marik insisted I find a song that he could sing to. So he and Ryou got on stage and I picked out several songs in their vocal range and we all just rocked out for over an hour.
That may not sound like much to you, but it meant so much to me. I spent over an hour with my absolute closest friends in mindspace, two of whom I hadn't seen much of in years, and we were all able to just enjoy our time together without worry. I needed that friendship and joy so much, I really did.
...At the end of all that, Ryou and Marik left and Genesis stayed with Laurie, Chaos and I for a quick final talk before I could no longer stay awake. We talked about what had been happening over the past few weeks, and although we did do everything we could to stay optimistic, we were all too aware that there were more hard times ahead of us and that was inevitable.
But I still had my music playing, and with my mind slowing down as the mood quieted, I couldn't dwell on that. No matter what was ahead, I was happy in that moment. I had my friends, I was surrounded by people I loved, and it was quiet and calm for once. Laurie recognized my mood shift and Genesis eventually left, as he didn't want to accidentally jolt me out of it (the guy is far too enthusiastic). I don't recall the exact details of how the night ended, but I ended up in a philosophically deep state again and started talking to Chaos like that... I know we spoke for almost ten minutes straight like that, and when I was too tired to stay awake for even a second, I tried to tell Laurie but I realized she was in tears. Honestly. She quickly apologized and said she'd close up for me, that Chaos should let me sleep and that I shouldn't forget how bright that night of music had been for all of us. I asked her why she was crying, and after a pause, she simply responded that she wasn't used to seeing Chaos and I together yet. It still moved her too much.
So that's all I remember, before waking up today.

Today is going well, thankfully. And honestly, in spite of yesterday's horrible hack (and the several other horrible ones I've had since my last update), and the painful misery cloud that's been hanging over me lately, I still have so much to be grateful for. I must confess I've been adding tiny updates to Scribbld instead of here lately-- these entries are unfailingly long and time-consuming, so I don't write them too often-- so if you've been following that then you know what I mean.
I had a beautiful Xanga session on the 21st that I haven't mentioned here yet. We discussed my splinter problem and managed to actually figure out what was going on there, and what we need to do to stay on top of that issue, and actually managed to cover everything to the point where we had nothing left to solve! However the conversation did close with Laurie, Chaos and I as usual, and... well, with how emotional we've all been lately, I also managed to clearly explain to Laurie just how much she means to me (as I've been saying I would). It took her a little while to get just what I was saying, but when she did it hit her hard. It was... it was tragic, almost, but it was beautiful. So now she's gained her metainomen too, aha! Then Q decided to talk to all of us about that the next day, which was awesome. I miss talking to him about these things. Oh yeah, and speaking of old friends, I actually found my best bro from elementary school on Facebook the same day we had that Xanga entry! I haven't heard from him in years, so finding him after so long was pretty amazing.
But the best thing that has happened since the 16th was definitely the 23rd. Not only did I learn a lot spiritually that day, but that night... I had one of the most lucid links I have ever had with Chaos, and I also figured out how to activate my Power Jewels. Yeah, that's Dream World canon, and I am freaking ECSTATIC over it because I didn't think I could activate the darn things at all yet!! But I did, and they are this gorgeous shade of deep, slightly pinkish red. So discovering that during such a vivid link was indescribably awesome.
Then on the 26th, my mom spontaneously asked me if I was married to him (I said yes because we are), and on the 28th I finally fought Chaos 6 in SADX for the first time and holy heavens he is freaking gorgeous. He looks like a bug and I was honestly flipping out in front of the television because seriously can I be any more attracted to this guy? The answer to that question is, yes, apparently there is no limit to that either. I'm not complaining though!

Anyway, there's not much else I have to say right now. I'm just very optimistic right now, and I seriously hope that I get a break from all these hacks and horrible things for a little while now. If not, well... I'll deal with it, I guess. It's all I can do.
And hey, life is entirely worth living even when it gets bad.
There's always music playing somewhere.