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Dream: (rough notes)
in big library, kid named Julia, big fan of Celebi. playing with little clear plastic toys of her & venusaur. we joined her & said we were a huge fan of celebi too. she was overjoyed and we hit it off immediately
talking to her & her mom about pokemon movies? julia had life trauma from the time she watched "the one with shaymin & darkrai" and when we mentioned it she actually stress-vomited. library called the ambulance, said we "had to go to the ER" as "proper procedure" because legally if we needed it and didn't go they'd get sued or something. so we were waiting for the ambulance and i think it was pouring rain outside, like buckets of it. parking lot looked like a lake.
RIGHT AROUND HERE we WOKE UP BRIEFLY but thanks be to God when we fell back asleep it was soon enough that we went RIGHT BACK INTO THE DREAM... BUT ON A BETTER DREAM LEVEL. which means we were CONSCIOUS!!!
we were in ER waiting room now. JAY was fronting. white hair and all. he was talking to julia, calming her down. "i have a best friend named julie"
Laurie showed up! i think in further response to this friend-foni talk. julia's mother asked who she was, Jay said she was his "body&soul-guard"
"That's the sweetest thing you've said to me all week" "only this week?" "yeah you've got a sugarhigh of a history kiddo"
JEWEL showed up, i think through HOOPA opening a portal?? wanted to help julia with healing the trauma around the pokemon movie?
i remember her smiling, putting her arms out, then stepping back and FALLING?? like she fell OUT of this reality and INTO another, into the air actually. she was above an ocean, with a single island below. as she fell, she was transforming INTO a skyform shaymin, but more klonoa-styled haha. on the island it was all gracidea flowers & landform shaymin. saw her, shocked, transformed too. jewel told her that she needed a flower as a gift, and also if she could come with her i think??
also manaphy in the ocean?? suddenly showed up, made a little vase of "pure water" for it. then DARKRAI showed up??? specifically one she KNEW. there was a powerful feeling of relationship, but NOT ventrium; this was one from her game?? anyway he wanted to help with the healing too of course, so he tried to put "anti-nightmare" energy into the flowers, made them turn glowy indigo, but shaymin was nervous, it was reacting oddly. darkrai apologized, took the energy back. jewel said it's okay, we'll still find something for you to do. then jewel called HOOPA (he was the one from the system!!) & took the vase of flowers to XERNEAS and had him "bless it" so the flower would never die. going back to the island, darkrai then made a little crystal moon charm and put it on the ribbon, filled the charm with that good-dream energy. he said something about cresselia having given him her blessing? so he could do things like that.
SOMEONE put the ribbon on that vase too. i cannot remember who. was it diancie??
oh but the last person to show up was MEWTWO! and yes she was the one we've known SINCE CHILDHOOD. i forget what she did, but i know she added some sort of charm to the ribbon too.
anyway, after all this Jewel & Hoopa & Darkrai went back to the ER room and presented the flowers & vase to Julia, explaining the motive, and she was obviously both moved & thrilled, thanked them so much. her mother was just amazed but smiling at all this. it was all so sweet.
also lastly YES CELEBI SHOWED UP. i cannot remember when, maybe before jewel, but she was talking to Julia in person. i remember jay looking at her with powerful affection. her eyes were very clear. she said she was "just one celebi," there were many, and she "wasn't julia's celebi" but she still cared about her. and she would "find her own celebi" one day? as a true friend? something like that. all struck our heart very deeply.
we woke up somewhere around here, because we FELT the waking world encroaching in, whenever we're conscious in dreams we wake up "soft," like surfacing from being underwater. there's no change in mental awareness, like the hard and often painful "jolt-break" from unconscious dreams.
i DO remember that we said something to julia & her mom as we left, because our departure WAS VISIBLE in the dream obviously.
within ten minutes of waking, sudden phone call.
JADE EVICTED AGAIN.
BK rush. Music on to prevent panic. cleanup early.
everyone in headspace asking what was going on, it was so weird & unusual. worried.
MOM CALLED the minute we finally sat down to eat. said GO MOVE JADE OUT NOW
Left breakfast immediately & drove out. learning to be prompt in doing good, still learning not to "complain" like we mentioned "do you want me to leave now? because i just sat down to eat, so i need to know if i should stick it in the fridge and just run" etc. why do you need to passively mention the inconvenience. shut up. stop doing that. stop being so selfish.
STILL. we obeyed immediately. did not gripe or whine at ALL. not even the feelings to do so. THANK GOD. means that corrupt interference is losing its push. genuine self getting better anchor. thank You God. keep praying for grace!!
had to help Jade clean up & pack, then unpack onto porch of family house. didn't go in, no keys but also did not want that atmosphere to slam into our memory like the truck in sonic adventure haha
telling jade that the forest outside that house "feels genuinely sacred." it's diamew after all. said we would stand in front of the real estate monolith's bulldozers if we had to, we would NOT let them touch the woods. it would be sacrilege.
MANIC SINGERS pushed out home drive, "we're doing our job, burning off the stress!" rubellite i think her name is. the one that feels a bit like jewel but notably isn't. actually really touching to hear that she knows she has a JOB and she is doing it FOR OTHERS. changes the whole vibe.
ACTUAL JEWEL out momentarily for Keane comment, that album belonged to S&B first!!!
BK finally at 2pm haha. It's cold, bonus points for that in this heat, thanks God!
actually tasted a LOT better this way haha. might have to do this on purpose tomorrow.
Gotta rush for church!
MADE IT just barely haha
mom singing throaty and forced and overly dramatic. actually made us nauseous with BOTH fear & rage. went NUMB though, instead of furious. starting to feel more like we're trapped in trauma now, when we hear her. "fight" is turning to "freeze".
memory failure bad today, like usual. too much stress & phone calls & family disturbance. cannot remember much at all. brain doesn't want to. can't cope with it if it did.
said full set of night prayers. fought both mental & physical fatigue to do so. "heroic virtue" motivation, even in tiny things.
took almost 90m. exhausted.
trying to get back into system mindset
realizing the reason we've felt dormant since may is because of the OUTSIDE FOCUS. the jademonth and then the novena. and the MOVIE MARATHON IS ON A DIFFERENT LEVEL TOO?? closer to heartspace. makes sense; that's Jewel's territory
just realized what time it is and we have to be up at 7 for church!
in big library, kid named Julia, big fan of Celebi. playing with little clear plastic toys of her & venusaur. we joined her & said we were a huge fan of celebi too. she was overjoyed and we hit it off immediately
talking to her & her mom about pokemon movies? julia had life trauma from the time she watched "the one with shaymin & darkrai" and when we mentioned it she actually stress-vomited. library called the ambulance, said we "had to go to the ER" as "proper procedure" because legally if we needed it and didn't go they'd get sued or something. so we were waiting for the ambulance and i think it was pouring rain outside, like buckets of it. parking lot looked like a lake.
RIGHT AROUND HERE we WOKE UP BRIEFLY but thanks be to God when we fell back asleep it was soon enough that we went RIGHT BACK INTO THE DREAM... BUT ON A BETTER DREAM LEVEL. which means we were CONSCIOUS!!!
we were in ER waiting room now. JAY was fronting. white hair and all. he was talking to julia, calming her down. "i have a best friend named julie"
Laurie showed up! i think in further response to this friend-foni talk. julia's mother asked who she was, Jay said she was his "body&soul-guard"
"That's the sweetest thing you've said to me all week" "only this week?" "yeah you've got a sugarhigh of a history kiddo"
JEWEL showed up, i think through HOOPA opening a portal?? wanted to help julia with healing the trauma around the pokemon movie?
i remember her smiling, putting her arms out, then stepping back and FALLING?? like she fell OUT of this reality and INTO another, into the air actually. she was above an ocean, with a single island below. as she fell, she was transforming INTO a skyform shaymin, but more klonoa-styled haha. on the island it was all gracidea flowers & landform shaymin. saw her, shocked, transformed too. jewel told her that she needed a flower as a gift, and also if she could come with her i think??
also manaphy in the ocean?? suddenly showed up, made a little vase of "pure water" for it. then DARKRAI showed up??? specifically one she KNEW. there was a powerful feeling of relationship, but NOT ventrium; this was one from her game?? anyway he wanted to help with the healing too of course, so he tried to put "anti-nightmare" energy into the flowers, made them turn glowy indigo, but shaymin was nervous, it was reacting oddly. darkrai apologized, took the energy back. jewel said it's okay, we'll still find something for you to do. then jewel called HOOPA (he was the one from the system!!) & took the vase of flowers to XERNEAS and had him "bless it" so the flower would never die. going back to the island, darkrai then made a little crystal moon charm and put it on the ribbon, filled the charm with that good-dream energy. he said something about cresselia having given him her blessing? so he could do things like that.
SOMEONE put the ribbon on that vase too. i cannot remember who. was it diancie??
oh but the last person to show up was MEWTWO! and yes she was the one we've known SINCE CHILDHOOD. i forget what she did, but i know she added some sort of charm to the ribbon too.
anyway, after all this Jewel & Hoopa & Darkrai went back to the ER room and presented the flowers & vase to Julia, explaining the motive, and she was obviously both moved & thrilled, thanked them so much. her mother was just amazed but smiling at all this. it was all so sweet.
also lastly YES CELEBI SHOWED UP. i cannot remember when, maybe before jewel, but she was talking to Julia in person. i remember jay looking at her with powerful affection. her eyes were very clear. she said she was "just one celebi," there were many, and she "wasn't julia's celebi" but she still cared about her. and she would "find her own celebi" one day? as a true friend? something like that. all struck our heart very deeply.
we woke up somewhere around here, because we FELT the waking world encroaching in, whenever we're conscious in dreams we wake up "soft," like surfacing from being underwater. there's no change in mental awareness, like the hard and often painful "jolt-break" from unconscious dreams.
i DO remember that we said something to julia & her mom as we left, because our departure WAS VISIBLE in the dream obviously.
within ten minutes of waking, sudden phone call.
JADE EVICTED AGAIN.
BK rush. Music on to prevent panic. cleanup early.
everyone in headspace asking what was going on, it was so weird & unusual. worried.
MOM CALLED the minute we finally sat down to eat. said GO MOVE JADE OUT NOW
Left breakfast immediately & drove out. learning to be prompt in doing good, still learning not to "complain" like we mentioned "do you want me to leave now? because i just sat down to eat, so i need to know if i should stick it in the fridge and just run" etc. why do you need to passively mention the inconvenience. shut up. stop doing that. stop being so selfish.
STILL. we obeyed immediately. did not gripe or whine at ALL. not even the feelings to do so. THANK GOD. means that corrupt interference is losing its push. genuine self getting better anchor. thank You God. keep praying for grace!!
had to help Jade clean up & pack, then unpack onto porch of family house. didn't go in, no keys but also did not want that atmosphere to slam into our memory like the truck in sonic adventure haha
telling jade that the forest outside that house "feels genuinely sacred." it's diamew after all. said we would stand in front of the real estate monolith's bulldozers if we had to, we would NOT let them touch the woods. it would be sacrilege.
MANIC SINGERS pushed out home drive, "we're doing our job, burning off the stress!" rubellite i think her name is. the one that feels a bit like jewel but notably isn't. actually really touching to hear that she knows she has a JOB and she is doing it FOR OTHERS. changes the whole vibe.
ACTUAL JEWEL out momentarily for Keane comment, that album belonged to S&B first!!!
BK finally at 2pm haha. It's cold, bonus points for that in this heat, thanks God!
actually tasted a LOT better this way haha. might have to do this on purpose tomorrow.
Gotta rush for church!
MADE IT just barely haha
mom singing throaty and forced and overly dramatic. actually made us nauseous with BOTH fear & rage. went NUMB though, instead of furious. starting to feel more like we're trapped in trauma now, when we hear her. "fight" is turning to "freeze".
memory failure bad today, like usual. too much stress & phone calls & family disturbance. cannot remember much at all. brain doesn't want to. can't cope with it if it did.
said full set of night prayers. fought both mental & physical fatigue to do so. "heroic virtue" motivation, even in tiny things.
took almost 90m. exhausted.
trying to get back into system mindset
realizing the reason we've felt dormant since may is because of the OUTSIDE FOCUS. the jademonth and then the novena. and the MOVIE MARATHON IS ON A DIFFERENT LEVEL TOO?? closer to heartspace. makes sense; that's Jewel's territory
just realized what time it is and we have to be up at 7 for church!
