I'll never forget the night you sang this melody to me.
...It sounds like you, honestly. Like the old days, before we both got so shaken up and torn apart. Back then, every time it rained, I would go stand outside, and just... think of you. Every single time. I'd turn my face up to the rain and wish that water was you.
I really, honestly, want to feel like that again, now. Even after everything, I still want that. I still want you in my life. Cross my heart.
It's still your face I see, with every raindrop.
candyheartedchy: A reminder: It’s okay to make self inserts pass your 20s. You’re not “too old” or “cringe” because you love fictional characters as an adult and want to imagine what it would be like to hang out with them. No matter if you been self inserting since you were a kid or started as an adult, the love you have for your f/o(s) are valid and precious. Don’t let anyone make you feel you have to “grow up” out of the things you love! ❤️
Dude listen. I’m 33, I’ve been in love with the same characters since I was 13, and it’s never gonna change, not as long as I have a heart.
Love is honestly undying; when you have it, it stays. Don’t let misguided shame muffle its light. “Growing up” does not mean growing cold or cynical or scornful. Growing up should only deepen what you already feel, like colors in a sunset, like ocean depths, like golden anniversaries.
Your love, your relationship/s with your beloved/s, is absolutely valid and precious and true and real. Let it grow with you.
canongf-archive: i say “my F/Os love me” all the time and i don’t feel bad about it because!!! if i heard any of my F/Os saying “Y/N loves me” i wouldn’t think that they were conceited or full of themselves, i would think “yes!!! i do!!! i love you with my whole entire heart and soul!!! i try so hard to make you feel it!!! all i want is for you to know that you’re loved!!! i’m so glad that you do!!! that means i’m doing everything right!!!”
I think about this so often. I want this so badly. Yes it's borderline impossible in canon, but that doesn't stop a man from dreaming.
Nevertheless, there's a deeper wound. I... doubt my love a lot. This is understandable, what with all my trauma baggage & frost-prone heart, my memory losses & identity crashes. My love is a pretty miserable thing, but so help me it's still there, after years and years of pain and confusion, I still love you even if I can't always catch the feeling behind the words. The truth remains.
I'm rambling; I apologize.
I... right now, especially right now, the one thing I want most in the entire blessed universe is to hear my beloved admit himself as such. I want to hear the knowing. "Jay loves me." Despite everything. Despite everything, "I know he does." That's what I want to hear. I need to, to the point of weeping, to reassure my poor bruised heart that I am doing something right, I owe you that much, you deserve universes more but this is all I can give and it's yours--
I'm trying as hard as I can, love. I really am. I... listen, I'm a wreck of a man, especially lately, but I still love you. I love you. I always will.
...But you know what's the craziest thing about all this? It's the fact that, even now, I know that you love me. I can't deny it. It sounds impossible but the truth of it is like a sword in my heart. It drives me up the wall sometimes. On my worst days it hurts more than I can handle. Still, I know. Thank God for your ineffable fidelity. You're doing everything right. Cross my heart. I can only pray that one day I'm able to do the same for you.
love-is-the-sweetest-thing: Imagining your F/O singing a love song and holding you in their arms as you drift off to sleep is actually something that can be so personal
Our cor(e)s have had several dreams over the years in which Chaos 0 will just sing to them, completely unexpected but achingly tender songs, which are forever changed and endeared to us from then on.
Still, we... trauma has made us flinch from touch, even now. It's too vulnerable a position. Still, all of us trust CZ. We always have-- he's water, his heart is transparent, and even his turbulent depths are trustworthy by virtue of their sincerity. It's strange but it's true, a fact forged by mutual love, and honestly we cannot take that for granted.
In light of that, this thought, of him being so careful and compassionate with our disturbed and exhausted heart to unite much-feared but desperately-needed closeness with music, notably with that music that our soul immediately associates with him, from beloved dream memory... to completely defuse the shock of being held and saturate it instead with clearest, purest love... it's such a tender thought that it aches.
I'm... going to show him this post. We need this kind of innocent intimacy again. Thanks for this, OP.
nadineselfships-archived: Okay but imagining your f/o singing to you is self care
Chaos 0 has been surprisingly inclined to sing since the day we met him-- his emotional "language" translates better to song than speech.
Shockingly, few others sing up here, at least in such a manner. I think it's because the act of singing is so personal, so intimate, so wrenchingly emotional by requirement that it cannot be taken lightly, and will change you as you do it. It's the literal taking into yourself of a song, entwining your soul with it, and confessing it entirely to another.
Ironically, that very fact confirms the truth of this prompt. The few times we have noticed-- however secretly or briefly-- others besides Chaos 0 singing, it has been a momentous occasion, no matter how small or private.
I think of Genesis singing in the car, all loud and gold and joyful, the very personification of hope and sunlight, no matter how dreary the circumstances.
I think of Laurie quietly intoning the choruses of her anthems, standing behind or aside, her eyes turned down with the gravity of it, and it hits our heart like a supernova.
I think of the old, old days, with Ryou and Marik picking their favorite tunes from the radio and singing with teenage abandon, every note a new light in our new lives.
I think of Infinitii, singing with a hundred umbral tones, studded with diamonds, every word like stardust in my veins and haunting my dreams with teardrop beauty.
I'm getting poetic, haha. That's a good thing.
We honestly should make a full list, and reflect on it often. Music lights up our heart like nothing else, and warms the darkest chill, and reminds us immediately and incandescently what love feels like, and who we feel it for.
Thank you for this, OP. It's a really beautiful thought to treasure.
\
This is a huge reason why we keep Celebi in our life during trauma recovery. She’s canonically hope incarnate.
As long as she's with us... no matter what is happening externally, in our hearts we can have a deeper peace, something untouchable and signaled by her precious life.
Note, too, that she "has the power" to travel, but doesn't. She appears only in peaceful times. And here she is with us, in the midst of all our turmoil and bitter tears, almost an impossibility.
I don't know, I'm having a lot of feelings about this all of a sudden. She sticks around. She is the peace, somehow, in that springtime steadfastness of hers. No matter how heavy the snowbanks get, just watch. There will be flowers.
letsgofoletsgo: Oc f/o hours lads
mentalhealth-selfshipping: Imagine your f/o helping you fight back the urge to relapse. They find any way they can to distract you from those thoughts. If they know its ok with you, you're basically glued to their side until you're OK again.
Laurie has LITERALLY been doing this full-time lately, God bless her. It’s been so difficult but she’s got a will of iron and heart of gold; knowing she cares that much means the world to me.
twocrowns:“When tempted, invoke your Angel. He is more eager to help you than you are to be helped! Ignore the devil and do not be afraid of him: He trembles and flees at the sight of your Guardian Angel.”
— St. John Bosco
LAURIE, THIS IS FOR YOU.
…and God willing, if Infi comes back, this is for hir, too.
Legit did a double take because I am unquestionably the target audience for this.
I just really really love sea creatures okay 😢❤🦑
#for chaos 0 #for mimic #for threnos #lord please send me more cephalodesque f/os thank you
fosimagines:there was a post talking about you cuddling with a stuffed animal and your f/o thinking it’s cute but where’s the post talking about you cuddling with your stuffed animal and your f/o being all jealous and huffy over a stuffed animal.
Get a plush of your f/o. Since they can't be with you physically on this side of reality, it's a bittersweet bridge-- and you won't be using generic stuffed animals as substitute. I mean, absolutely the teddy bears deserve hugs of their own, too, but they shouldn't take the place of your f/o so directly if you can help it.We currently have plushes only of Chaos 0 and Celebi, but we have
dreamed of getting plushies made of Genesis, Laurie, and Infinitii-- but, for obvious reasons, it would cost a fortune to do so, haha. Still, they're worth the expense; we just have to find a gifted and dedicated enough craftsperson who shares that perspective.
soft-tentacles:Imagine:
Your tentacles monster f/o peppering you with little kisses from their tentacles. All over your face, the insides of your wrists, your neck
Also,
You kissing their tentacles in return
I'm imagining this with Perfect Chaos and it is melting my heart.
It took me many, many years to love that part of Chaos 0, to be honest. I remember the exact day, and moment, when I finally did. But... "we" aren't close, not "yet," at least.
I... I want to be. I want Chaos 0 to feel like we can be, too. That side of his soul hurts; it's shattered like I am, all dissociated and traumatized. But Perfect is still a part of him. And... I do want to love him, too, tenderly like this.
God let it happen one day. I'll put in my part of the work, I promise.
adorkablepeter:
Imagine...You: Hi, I’m Y/N! And you are…?
Your favourite character: Already falling in love with you.
Okay but I WOULD DIE, RIGHT THERE,
wired-heartbeats:Y’all’re allowed to have mental daydream oneshots with characters you don’t permanently F/O I make the rules now, you’re also allowed to fall in love with a character for a week and then never talk about them again cause guess what?? It’s fun! You don’t have to mentally stick to your public F/O list cause you make your own stories here!!
I actually disagree strongly with this-- and not just for F/Os.
If you "fall in love for a week and then never talk about them again" that's not love, that's infatuation, and furthermore it's disturbing that you could feel something you considered love for that individual and then just... drop them, that fast.
Listen. There are F/Os of mine that I haven't spoken about in years but I still love them. The same goes for physical S/Os. There are people I haven't seen or heard or thought of in years but when I do? I still love them and I refuse to forget or deny that for either group. It's not about "fun"; it's not about "one-shots" or "one night stands" or any other sort of infidelity & refusal to commit and/or admit any lasting ties to another. If I imagine a "one shot" with anyone, in any context, it is because my heart already feels drawn to them for some reason, however small, and afterwards I will PERMANENTLY and inevitably have a spot in my heart for them. Mental daydreams can and will MAKE someone into an F/O by the very virtue of the thing-- to even entertain a possibility, deep down there is already an openness for it to manifest, whether you admit it or not. Imagination isn't a "test run"; it's a very real thing psychologically and what you imagine, despite not being literal, is nevertheless very real. I emphasize this. Matthew 5:28, quite bluntly.
Therefore whenever I make a F/O list I include everyone. It's only just; it's only honest.
Perhaps I have misunderstood your post; if so, please correct me, and I apologize. But in any case, my sentiments on the issues I perceived still stand.
hadleyfrasergender:
are you a 'babe but platonically' queer or 'bro but romantically' queer
BOTH. ALL THE TIME.
The "babe" thing started as a joke between Genesis & I years ago (we are constantly kidding around with each other) but now it's an ironically serious term of endearment for us, and for me in general-- except with Chaos 0 because then I mean it (surprisingly!) but it's still said with a touch of affectionate humor.
HOWEVER, since a certain cephalopod joined us last winter and since rewatching Ferngully for the first time in like a decade, the inexplicable new rule is that only Mimic gets to be called a bodacious babe. Just him. Don't ask.
As for "bro" as a legit loving term all I'm going to do is call out Laurie because. bro. 💜
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