032521

I am absolutely SEETHING with rage today. It’s all sensory overwhelm. I don’t know if Overload still exists, but she was Brown, and this is absolutely horribly VERMILLION. It’s like the horrible color of tomato sauce, which I HATE with a violent rage. It’s true. That's what set me off, is smelling the horrible garage smell—the smell of summer—the stink and color of tomato sauce over the kitchen, pasta on the floor and in the sink, crumbs over the counters, and HEAT everywhere—I wanted to die. I wanted to set everything on fire. I wanted to take an absolute bloody axe to every nearby surface until everything filthy was destroyed completely. And then I want to move to the absolute coldest state in America and cry and cry and cry until the internal pain and heat stops and goes away forever.

 

Can I just stick Chaos Zero in a freezer and have him hug me all day? Because I want to weep at how desperately I need him right now.

 

032521

Saint Dismas feast day! ❤ Also the Annunciation.

Offering up DISCOMFORT and DISGUST, not just "suffering"!!! The latter ONLY registers as legit PAIN. The former is totally different!! Like hypersensitivity to cold & heat, sensory overload, neuropathy, etc. And disgust is smell based mostly. But ALL that is a FORM of suffering, and so it CAN and SHOULD be offered up to Christ WITH LOVE AND HUMILITY!!!

Moses Taylor doctor appointment. Got lost. I'm very stupid. HUMILIATION though. Genuine learning.
Running to the parking garage: ORANGE GIRL!!!! Leaning salmon or peach, maybe. Didn't we document someone like this YEARS ago???
⭐CHECK THE OLD CENSUSES AND SEE WHO STILL PINGS.
But yeah. Ponytail, thin but fit form, bright eyes. NOT a "social" vibe though. Felt FOCUSED. Running was all that mattered, not talking or interacting. So that's notable.

⭐ALSO notable-- we tend to assume that ALL "body functions" are BROWN'S jurisdiction but THAT'S NOT TRUE! Brown has a PARTICULAR VIBE like any other hue, and Brown is NOTABLY HUMBLE. Think monks & nuns even!! THAT'S the Brown vibe. They AREN'T EXERCISERS. That's ORANGE'S jurisdiction, because they ARE the closest hue to Brown BUT they have a SOCIAL and ENERGETIC aspect whereas Brown does NOT.

⭐THERE ARE VIRTUALLY NO BROWN, ORANGE, OR YELLOW NOUSFONI BECAUSE THOSE COLORS OF HAIR & EYES ARE TOO HUMAN!!!! THERE MUST BE-- AND PROBABLY ARE-- OTHER VISIBLE PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS THAT DIFFERENTIATE A NOUSFONI FROM A HUMAN.
• NO navel.
• NO sexual organs.
• NO breasts or paps on either gender.

By the way WHAT IS "GENDER" IN A NOUSFONI??? We still uphold God's essential Male-Female binary, BUT most of us are effectively "EUNUCHS" and so we SHOULDN'T appear to be human males or females because that would cause SCANDAL.

Gonna brainstorm in the Spectrum notefile btw, go read that.