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[prismaticbleed]

I am absolutely SEETHING with rage today. It’s all sensory overwhelm. I don’t know if Overload still exists, but she was Brown, and this is absolutely horribly VERMILLION. It’s like the horrible color of tomato sauce, which I HATE with a violent rage. It’s true. That's what set me off, is smelling the horrible garage smell—the smell of summer—the stink and color of tomato sauce over the kitchen, pasta on the floor and in the sink, crumbs over the counters, and HEAT everywhere—I wanted to die. I wanted to set everything on fire. I wanted to take an absolute bloody axe to every nearby surface until everything filthy was destroyed completely. And then I want to move to the absolute coldest state in America and cry and cry and cry until the internal pain and heat stops and goes away forever.

 

Can I just stick Chaos Zero in a freezer and have him hug me all day? Because I want to weep at how desperately I need him right now.