there is still trauma

 

VERY triggering discussion here. please be careful.


 

-there is STILL trauma tied to sexuality, it's old and rooted deep but UNTRUE. the real difficulty here is letting go, or at least, helping the people that hold it to see that they don't have to hold on to it.

*A VERY important observation:
Any sort of sexual contact STILL causes body flashbacks, as well as sickening physical waves of nausea, fear, and pain.
Jay has recognized that he does NOT want sexual contact; this is being "forced" due to a misaligned "spiritual obligation" to do so. His levels are confused is all.
Start focusing on the truth of heart connections. Focus on our INNER TRUTH.

THE BIGGEST PROBLEM SEEMS TO BE A SUDDEN BODY FOCUS.
This is not "bad," as it has helped us learn to love the body, BUT now Jess is using that as a gateway to hedonism, addictions, and substance abuse. Caring for the body does NOT mean abandoning the spiritual but she seems incapable of seeing non-physical things as real. We need to meditate more and communicate more in order to offset this, I'd say.

**There is also a  HUGE fear surrounding "spiritual sex?" JAY has this, probably inherited, and because of it he is afraid to be with CZ.
He is afraid that a "twin flame" requires "obligatory sex" and he does not want this. He is also terrified that he will be "forced to be physically female" and that ties into the young traumatized girls, as they do not want to have that sort of binary experience, as it would horrify them.
Jay has no problem with being considered feminine IF he is in a male body. If he is in a female body, he considers himself male exclusively, otherwise it "brings out the bad people." We are not entirely sure how to deal with this issue?


thoughts that are detrimental
- "if someone is naked that means I must have sex with them"
(held by a numb GIRL, almost robot-like, no emotions?)
- "naked bodies are evil/ sexual/ force me to have sex/ going to rape me/ etc."
(held by many girls.)
Julie says, "if someone is naked, then they are naked-- nothing else! Babies are naked, and they are NOT asking to be used, OR trying to abuse other people. It's a natural state and you were manipulated into thinking it was inherently bad. It's NOT."

- "I don't want to have sex, please, but I HAVE to because it's God's will since he put me in a sexually able human body"
(held by YOUNG Jewel?? like 13 years old at most. we are working to heal her)
Jay and Infi say, "sexual energy really isn't the best term. Sexual connections use life energy, creative energy, that is not exclusively sexual. Sex is just one of hundreds of ways that energy can be used! Calling it 'sexual energy' as an absolute is incorrect as it is not just that. Secondly, every human on the planet has reproductive parts. Same thing with most animals. That's just how physical beings reproduce! You are NOT obligated to use them just because you have them. You don't have another body option, after all, not here. But God does not force anyone to have sex if they do not want to, and if you do not want to, NO ONE should invalidate that!"

- "I will kill anyone who so much as hints at sexuality
(held by CANNON!!!)
Infi says, "if you hate it within yourself, heal it within yourself, do not destroy it in others, or it will never cease to haunt you. Your desire for death is desperate, as you want freedom from the pain and fear and loathing such reminders bring up in you. If you heal those things in yourself, no outside force will ever be able to harm you in such ways."

- "I cannot let go of fear because then I will be used and hurt even more"
(held by unknown?? but that is still lingering, even against the common sense of love)
Jay says, :If you let go of fear, you'll be able to see clearly. If someone is trying to use or hurt you, speak out! Don't let them! You are NEVER obligated to "let" people hurt you, EVER. You have a right as an existing soul to have safety and happiness. Don't let them disrespect that fact. But don't let fear rule you either. If you view the world through eyes of fear, you won't be able to accept or hold hope and light when you find it, because you'll be afraid of it. Find what makes you feel safe, truly safe and loved, and hold on to that. Let that be your compass. Don't ever be afraid of love, REAL love, which will never ever harm you or anyone else. Don't let people lie to you about love. Let go of fear, and then stay safe. You can do the latter without the former. Fear is nothing but a jail cell, and you should be able to walk free. Just realize, the cell is unlocked. All you need to do is find the faith, courage, and trust to stand up, open it, and walk out. It won't follow you. You can only walk back into it. Don't. Life is so much better than that."

- "If I move on or forgive, that means I am saying that abuse is okay"
(TOTAL LIE but, that mindset needs to be HEALED, as someone has it.)
Laurie says, "forgiveness doesn't mean justifying what they did. More than anything, forgiving them helps you--> if you hold a grudge, or hatred, for the rest of your life, who is it hurting? Sure isn't them! Forgiveness means letting go of the pain because you deserve better than that. But it also means letting go of the pain because they deserve better than that, and even if they did a real terrible thing to you or someone else, that doesn’t define THEM either. They weren't always like that, by default. Yeah, now they sure as hell screwed up, but their souls aren't automatically doomed, no matter what anyone else may have taught you. They can still turn around. They can still learn and repent and turn their life around. And your soul is just as able to be healed as theirs, no matter what happens. Even if you can't believe that yet, remember it. It'll make forgiveness easier, AND it will make you more willing to stand up for your own purity, if you respect it in yourself as well as in others. Just saying. Find a little bit of love for yourself, and you'll realize that you'll be able to forgive without condoning abuse-- the two aren't related at all. Instead, you'll see that forgiveness means you're letting that abuser move on from their misdeed in your mind-- and that opens another door for them to CHANGE, and stop being that kind of person. Don't shackle them down as well as yourself. Forgiveness frees both of you. And you deserve to be free of that pain. You all do. No matter what you've been taught otherwise."

there is ONE female voice that is horrendously manipulative-- this is the one that will basically tell everyone "f*ck me" in a cruel way, you get the idea. we've been calling her "jess" as she DOES respond to that, but we wonder if she is technically jezebel? i.e. the tar in a humanoid form.