090923

[prismaticbleed]

 
Still off and depressed from Last night

Heating devils SCREAM in my head during prayers
Shows the "God phone" is on the wrong frequency.  Need better jargon, its more like a radio. Tuning capabilities. Or television sometimes?? Because i CAN & DO SEE THINGS according to the frequency too.

BK prep interrupted by "speech-injector" kakofoni from that "peanut gallery" = mimic & Siobhan targeted?
Laurie & Jay realized those foni ONLY "speaksend" in 3RD PERSON, according to some ASSUMED SCRIPT?? And words injected are ALWAYS joking or entertaining or commenting. There is NO SELF AWARENESS AT ALL. Jay tried to "make them admit their behavior" by reflecting their efforts but it CHASED THEM AWAY because it would require SELF ADMITTANCE which they CANNOT do???

Pope Francis devotional somehow 2 days ahead. Random two that were skipped actually worked together. Thanks God!

TERRIFYINGLY ACCURATE DAILY DEVOTIONAL about evil being a RAVENOUS DEVOURER BY NATURE. entire thing applied explicitly to eating disorder. TYPE ABOUT IT!!!!

Deeply soothed by Lapide commentary. We got so mixed up & upset by Cyril & Chrysostom???? Type about that too.
⭐OH DUDE I SUDDENLY UNDERSTAND WHY.  It's because we naturally get angry and upset with people who cry, And his rebuke of people who cry so Ludicrously felt like It was given an excuse for our cold-hearted response. That wasn't his intention but that's what it felt like because it was the same end from a different motive?  But we have this natural instinct to always defend a party that is being attacked,  So we instinctively took up the position of the mourning women? Although we AGREED with cyril!!! The ambivalence was so painful & confusing, because it INCLUDED BOTH OUR VICIOUS CONDEMNATION AND OUR MINDLESS MOLLIFICATION. It was entirely unhealthy.
We were NOT in a sane spiritual "WISE MIND" while reading!!!
ALSO HYPERFEMININE & EASILY OFFENDED. Masculine mind ACCEPTS IT HEARTILY, if rather brusquely. Need a BALANCE??? (HOW IRONIC.)

⭐While reading here's a question.
WHO IS THAT KAKOFONI GIRL THAT MAKES THE RUDE "MEAN GIRL" COMMENTS???? Like "wow, THAT was a stretch" on an interpretation, with a "sneer" feeling. "You're an embarrassment" implied.
IT'S NOT BRIDGET BUT SHE FEELS RELATED????? DIFFERENT COLOR!!! Nasty nasty attitude. NOT "holier than thou," its blatantly "wow, you're an idiot!!" NO "HOLY" INVOLVED. IT'S JUST MEANSPIRITED SATISFACTION AT VERBALLY STABBING PEOPLE WITH CONSTANT DERISION. Total air of superiority manifested in judgment & CONTEMPT!!!
⭐Her statements MUST BE ACTIVELY & IMMEDIATELY CONTRASTED with positive DEFENSES of the accused! Otherwise her evil words will TAKE ROOT. Warfare MANDATES instant counterattack!!!
“As the twelve hours change through the day, and the breezes change with them, so the minds of the Jews may easily be changed, that those who before hated Me may now love and receive Me!” = she scoffed at this, BUT we defended the point (A FACELESS FONI SPOKE?? bluish leaning indigo!!) and said it shows a GREAT & BEAUTIFUL PREDISPOSITION TO HOPE on the commentators part! AND a uniquely graced insight that is outside the box. We followed this train of thought and got a visual-flash of inspired expansion on it; Jesus taking to Peter about "gathering storm clouds" and "oncoming night" etc.

⭐HEY THIS ATTACK/DEFEND THING OBVIOUSLY TIES INTO THAT "MOURNER" PROBLEM TOO; CONSIDER IT IN THIS PARTICULAR LIGHT!!

A not on commentary.
Some Pastristics talk AROUND their point? They offer INCORRECT statements FIRST, BEFORE they state the truth in refute, and its confusing. They ALSO ask tons of questions, and metaphorize almost everything. This DOES give insight, but to read, it hurts our brain. No fault of theirs.
PASTE EXAMPLES .
⭐BTW God LET this confusion happen so that we can understand MORE and more DEEPLY from it, as well as learning HUMILITY & GRACIOUS "FORGIVENESS" (no offense done but we TOOK offense)

Remember yesterday=
Julie Magdalena upset; commentators denying the POSSIBILITY of conversion. Deeply hurt, talked at length about this.
Read BACE to soothe her heart, spent an HOUR. Filked us with JOY AND HOLY EMOTION. Moreso than repetitive prayers?????
BTW LAPIDE REFERENCES CORRECT. "Yes that is her in Luke 7" etc.
Still surprised at how strongly we reacted to this???
BTW REMEMBER WE GOOGLED MARGARET OF CORTONA

⭐"I prefer to say this, rather than what some suppose, that she desired to deprive her sister of this commendation, viz. [of going to meet] the coming of Christ, for this appears to me too foolish and womanish, and unworthy of so holy a heroine."
Realizing that our INTERNAL MORAL MISOGYNY = EQUATING VICIOUS BEHAVIOR TO FEMALENESS INHERENTLY!!!!

⭐"Hence learn by way of moral, that God often suffers us to fall into tribulations, and allows them to increase unto the utmost, and THEN powerfully helps us, that He may show His Omnipotence and providential mercy. THEREFORE the faithful Christian must not then despair, but increase in hope, and pray the more earnestly. For when every human help fails, then the Divine help approaches and is very near... It is therefore the proper attribute of God to supply the defect of nature, and so also to help the lost and hopeless, according to the saying: “The poor committeth Himself unto Thee; Thou art the helper of the fatherless” (Ps. x. 14)"
= we TWISTED THIS???? "God will ONLY help us IF we are in utmost tribulation"???? EATING DISORDER / ABUSE FORCING!!!!
"ALL HUMAN HELP MUST FAIL BEFORE GOD WILL HELP" = refusing ALL aid & assistance "or else God WON'T save me"???
We FORGOT that HIS HELP WAS STILL GUARANTEED?????
"God will only help the hopeless so I CAN'T have hope EVEN in being saved" = a DEVILISH MANIPULATION
THROW THAT IRONY BACK IN HIS FACE!!!! GOD LOVES PARADOXES. HE IS BOTH/AND!!!!!!!!!

...I haven't been living AS IF I HAVE ETERNAL LIFE.
Some part of our psyche GENUINELY STILL WANTS TO DIE.
"She" rejects life; she wants no self, no emotion, no future.
TATIANA ALSO WANTS THIS DIFFERENTLY, WITH "SELF ANNIHILATED IN CHRIST"!!!!! therefore NO RELATIONSHIP!!!!
That is a huge realization.
THE RESURRECTION OF THE BODY IS OUR BIGGEST OBSTACLE.
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⭐OUTSPACERS ARE GETTING SHOVED INTO CENTRALITE-ADJACENT ROLES BECAUSE OUR MIND IS STILL TERRIFIED OF EVERYONE WHO EXISTED DURING CNC???????
MIMIC IS PICKING UP LAURIE'S JOB ORDERS BECAUSE ON SOME UNCONSCIOUS LEVEL LAURIE IS STILL FEARED AS CORRUPTED. MIMIC IS UNTOUCHED BY ALL TRAUMA. THIS IS MONUMENTAL

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