Saturday night

[prismaticbleed]

 

It's been... unique.

Q called me about 40 minutes ago, to talk about my rather upsetting entry here about three weeks back.
I tried to explain it to him the best I could, but... I'm not too eloquent over the phone. Words fly through my mind and I try to say them, but it's tough.
I managed to speak some of those mind-words tonight, but not as many as I should have. I couldn't read half of them.
I'll try to type something up tomorrow after work, when I have time to just write. I do need to clear things up with him and everyone else.

Speaking of.

Five weeks, gone. I wonder what they're thinking?
Dare knows I'm okay, and now Q does too. Blumiere should know, as I mentioned it to her in a note yesterday, but I can't be sure until I hear from her again. (I hope she's not upset with me for any reason...)

But... the two kids I'm worried about the most with this whole thing really haven't said anything since I walked out over 30 days ago.
Jim and Ben.
Yeah, I know. I worry about them far too much.

I've been drawing many of Ben's characters lately, as I owe him the art... but today, I stopped by his page and noticed these new pictures of his... take a look.
[#1] [#2]
His art keeps improving, I swear. It's truly lovely. The kid's going to outshine me by mile someday soon, just you watch!

I've also been writing a ton of music for Jim, as I also owe him that. He writes some truly fantastic music himself, and he's the reason I'm even composing again now. (Listen to some of his stuff right here!)
He also posted some new art last night, which really made me ecstatic... he hasn't been saying much for weeks, and that has me quite concerned. Still, it's good to see his vivid imagination and sense of humor are still working fine.

So there I was, admiring these two British kids as usual... dear heavens, I am so proud of them. Seriously.
I met them both within the same time period, early last autumn... completely by chance, too! Really a blessing from God there, I say.
But they've both improved so much with their art (and writing and music, too) since then, I can't help but smile whenever I think of it.
It's not a selfish pride, either. I have my own strong points, they have theirs, and I deeply admire theirs! Yet I could never be jealous, as I'm too darn happy that they've both been blessed with such fantastic talents.

It hit me-- hard-- when I noticed Ben's journal and the credit in his newest picture.
Just two simple little things, but they spoke volumes. They always do.
Think about it...

Believe Finbetter was originally imagined as a dedication to me. Little ol' me. That's insane. What's even more amazing is that Ben didn't even know much about NiGHTS then... he simply dreamed up a Nightmaren because I was so into them when he met me.
Not only that, but Ben credits me to this day as the person who 'taught Be to smile'... plus, he constantly writes Delphi, Selph and the Puremaren into his universe, which I'm eternally thankful for.

Otherside is partly a result of my introducing Jimmy to the Klonoa series. Which means that, by extention, Kain (the King of Hatred) may very well have been a semi-result of my inspiration. I kid you not. That thought makes my mind explode.
Regardless of whether I was an inspiring factor there or not, though, I am a major force in the series, mostly with music composition and character art. I never asked for Jim to include me, as he was working on it with his friends long before I knew of it... but nevertheless, he made me part of it, and I can't thank him enough for that.

I never asked for any of that to happen, and yet it did.
And I was crying today because I've been so selfish about it.

I haven't done nearly enough to thank them, in word or art... heck, even in music... and that hurts.
I care about them, I worry about them, I admire them, I look up to them, I wouldn't lose them for the world.
I don't even know if they realize that.

Then I have the absolute nerve to hope that they've genuinely worried about me at least once in the past 31 days.
Geez.

Well... I guess I should be getting some sleep. I have to finish three reports and then finish a ton of art projects and personal work...


Dream well, guys. I'll be seeing you.

 

 

Current Mood: I don't know what to call this

Current Music: "Halcyon" (spinningcannon)