april 06 2015

[prismaticbleed]

 

remember this please.

OUR JOB NOW in the struggle of life: align and balance our outer reality to inner unity consciousness, only supported vibe!

in all situations, anything that reflects or causes us pain/suffering DEMANDS MORE LOVE!!!
THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING.
give more love to yourself, to everyone. embrace accept and heal the shadow aspects of yourself and those around you as they arise.
DO NOT SUPPRESS/ REJECT/ IGNORE THESE SHADOWS! IT WONT WORK!
this energy is being driven to the surface to finally be healed/released
self-exploration, acceptance, and love is the only solution to dealing with these shadows.

 

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@ 11:17 pm

 

 

easter monday
have not been sleeping well because of illness and stress
went to bed at 5am.
odd half/dreams with chaos and I
diancie-pink energy, also rose quartz (from SU)
we were in station square?
some sort of heart-energy link. had to radiate it out to the world.
vital.

 

 

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@ 11:57 pm

 

 

just a thought, this might be relevant?

a big problem with the eating disorder:

creation cycles EVERY DAY.

waking up= new day, new life. starts over.

new food is typically bought every day.

mindset says= that food must "DIE" before the day is out.
the concept of something being "left over" into tomorrow is bizarre

the night= an annihilation, an ending of EVERYTHING that happened that day

sleep=death

so. the compulsion is to destroy EVERYTHING bought/obtained that day
mind struggling with the concept of "unfinished" things in that respect

 

 

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@ 00:04 am

 

 

Just read something very applicable.

"Because he can be overly scrupulous and experiences manic episodes with his disorder, he has had priests snap at him because he called the parish too many times looking for support. Salazar came closest to leaving the church when one priest told him to go away after Salazar was taking an overly long time in Confession.
"I definitely struggle with that balance between wanting to stay close to God but having to stay away from God, because I don't want to become overly religious" in a way that could be dangerous to his mental health, he says."

That second part is stupidly relevant and it makes me terribly sad because that was me today, 100%, after Divine Mercy Sunday services.

"Unlike many people, those with mental illness can see "the depths and heights of humanity, the soaring glory of the possible and the deep melancholy of life. And that is a gift," Hermes says. She and others in Catholic mental health advocacy hope the church continues to get even better at finding, as Hermes says, the "beautiful in the brokenness.""

That's headspace.