su thoughts

[prismaticbleed]

okay but im like IN LOVE WITH WHITE DIAMOND OKAY ;___________;

GHFSJHKJDS SHE'S LIKE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MOM



also whoopsy-daisy looks like I'm Spinel





Concerns about the SU "agenda" based on recent episodes + movie.

Mainly, family commentary.

-abusive vs loving = too much focus on lenience/tolerance?

-VILLIANIZING DISCIPLINE. Especially with how Pink was treated when she disobeyed, in light of my own childhood and how such discipline, for ME, was GENUINELY HELPFUL. See above point. Don't like the b&w "all rough discipline is bad" this show, and many people nowadays, are proclaiming. Want to talk about this more while respecting BOTH sides.

-Plus, the Diamonds are trying so hard to be better after literal EONS of unhealthy behavior, and the amount of progress they have made in two Earth years is STAGGERING and worthy of genuine praise BUT Steven is acting so fed up with them??? And I don't understand.
It's like, if your mom did a poor job of raising you, but then you had a kid and suddenly she has a SECOND CHANCE to right her wrongs and wants to absolutely fawn over your grandchild, but you get bitter and say "no I want nothing to do with you anymore"???? Like that's what it seems like Steven is doing to the Diamonds and that is utterly incomprehensible to me. I don't like his attitude at ALL in that respect and I definitely need to reflect on that more.






realizing "did I dump oliver like rose dumped spinel?"

i want to say "not literally, no." yes, I gave warnings, I said I could not stay forever, etc. but what I didn't realize was that oliver REFUSED to believe those truths were true. he didn't WANT them to be true, so he denied them. and when I finally acted on them and left, it was a shock.

but. the bottom line is: I am still at fault. I didn't have the guts to say it straight. I flat-out LIED TO HIS FACE when, the night I left, I said "I'd be back in about three months." I think I tossed in a few "probably"s and such, but still. I knew I was NOT coming back. I didn't want to. but I was too chicken to say so. I knew oliver would have been devastated, and would have probably refused to let me leave. and maybe so I thought my cowardice was merciful. I gave him false hope, but I figured, it was better than a solid "I'm leaving and never returning, I want to forget all this, goodbye, it's over for good."
i am entirely at fault. i left him with roses and didn't realize that i was still leaving him.


Still ABSOLUTELY STAGGERED by the fact that SPINEL IS LITERALLY LIKE MY GEMSONA PUT ON TV, WTF, I SUSPECTED THIS BUT NOT THAT ACCURATELY GEEZ


(left unfinished)