bloody sounds

[prismaticbleed]

 

SESSION PARTICIPANTS
LAURIE UBERICH JEWEL LIGHTRAYE




What an immature, spineless bastard.

Am I really that much of a screwup?

Yeah, you bloody well are. Three days without a stable connection, and what happens? You freaking COLLAPSE. You need to get the heck out of here.

I know, but I need a job I can handle psychologically first...

No, not just out of this house, you freak. Out of EVERYTHING.

That's not even possible.

I'm sure it is on some level. And I'm not talking suicide, you moron. That's just you being too much of a gutless wimp to fight.

Don't say that. Some people commit suicide because they really feel they have no hope. Sometimes I feel like that.

Because you're also being a sightless dunce. This is your life I'm talking about. You have a ton of hope; God only knows why you fail to recognize it.

...Julie.

Why the heck should her whorish actions kill your motivations, though? Yeah, she freaking tries to kill you every chance she gets, but her shallow manipulations CANNOT change the big picture!

But I can't see the big picture clearly anymore. How do I know it's even the right picture?

Just-- geez. Just what the heck. I really don't know how to deal with this anymore.

That makes two of us, Laurie.

That makes a whole bloody lot more than two of us, actually. How do you think your kids feel about this? How do you think Chaos feels about this? You've been avoiding virtually everyone and everything like a Godforsaken plague, and the sick part is that I don't even blame you for it! Your birth family is against you, the entire bloody world is against you, and meanwhile I'm up here day and night frantically trying to get you through it. I don't know how.

My grandmother wants me to get another job. I need a job. I need the money.

You need a job that's not going to screw you up even more. College was hideous enough on that note alone.

No one here but you and I can understand that, though.

Sad but true. I still say you head on over to that office and see if you qualify for disability on any level. I mean, geez, with all the mental trauma alone you should already match up for something.

It's hellish, Laurie, and yet people say I should 'change it.' Become one of the mindless drones. Live my life according to the 'American dream' in which you rot away your days and are no good to anyone. Screw that. I'll suffer as much as I have to if it's right.

Thatta boy. Only problem is surviving though.

Yeah.

One question, really quick.

What?

Why the heck are you semi-unconscious right now? Why am I driving?

I can't deal with this anymore.

Oh no you don't. Don't you dare surrender on me. We CAN deal with this. People might not agree with us, but we are dealing with this.

Staying up till ungodly hours listening to the Nier soundtrack in reverse.

Whatever works, kid. By the way, that game is a godsend. If I had the nerve I'd tell your grandmother to lay the heck off and let you get a few hours in without being threatened due to your 'age.' Forget age. Forget gender roles. Forget all that old garbage and get yourself in working order.

I'm trying. Unfortunately the way this world is built, that's borderline impossible right now.

Then play at the edge of the field. If the world is throwing its craziness at you, throw your own fire right back. We've tried most all we can possibly try without going to mad extremes. I think it's time we threw off the bloody restraints and went all out.

How?

Geez it's so weird having you echoing in the back instead of me. But yeah, I'm not entirely sure how... not yet. First step is still figuring out how to handle income, as it's unfortunately needed. Do that first thing tomorrow, all right?

Okay.

Then we focus on the mental issue. We don't want any cures here; there's nothing to cure. We need your body fixed the heck up, and your mind acknowledged the heck up because until we get the governmental green light no one's going to believe hearsay.

So...

So don't give up. It'll be hard, but don't you dare compromise either.

That's the hard part.

I know, I know. Believe me, I go everywhere you do; I know all about that problem. But seriously, STOP.

Can I even do that without sacrificing what little worldly stability I have at the moment? Both my mother and grandmother have entirely corrupt views on the most important issues, and whenever I oppose them, I'm immediately threatened with expulsion-- the complete loss of a roof over my head, a dollar in my pocket, and food on the table, to say the absolute least. Yeah, they try to justify that by saying 'get an apartment,' but I can't make nearly enough money to finance that on my own, especially not with all the other obstacles in my way.

And that ticks me off. We really need to find a way around and out of that... you need out, but how?

I don't know.

Yeah, exactly. I doubt we even have the means anymore, and that's disconcerting.

...

You still upset about earlier, huh?

...

You know what? Forget Julie.That bitch can go to hell for all I care. I know you fight, but I also know you're too freaking weak and manipulated to defend yourself anymore. It still makes my blood boil, that won't change, but as of right now you are not in good condition. I'll spare you the verbal tirades until we get you back on your feet. Just keep your head up and don't let your guard down. If you can prevent the trauma then you won't have to fight it outright.

I'm trying. I'm not doing well.

...I was afraid you'd say that. Man. I'm really lost here. Nier's your only ground right now?

Basically. I won't let Julie get at them.

Well that explains where all your energy's going.

She won't leave my kids alone. Laurie, I'd sob for days if I had it in me, with what she's done.

Wait, she's still screwing around with your kids?? That devilish whore...

She won't stop. It's destroying me from the bones out. I'm dying at this point.

No kidding. Damn it... that... that has to stop. That has to stop immediately.

How?

I don't know yet, but I'll be damned if I don't do everything in my power to find out.

I feel so helpless.

Well, at the moment you kind of are, and it's not your fault. You don't belong here and it's starting to become lethal. Don't hate yourself for it-- the real you, mind. The you that's hiding for fear of being freaking raped every time he steps outside. Don't hate yourself.

It's difficult.

Yeah, I know. Listen... I was going to bring Jo in here, but seeing the time and knowing your family, I think it's best if I just let you head off to work. I know that's a small solace to you most nights.

It's a gamble though. A blissfully horrible sort of gamble. I see such horrific things, Laurie...

But the gamble's ultimately worth it, unlike most things we've found here.

I know. It's sick, but I know. And I love my boss. He helps a lot.

That's good to hear. Really it is. Just remember Chaos and I are always here for you as well, aiite? I swear on my honor, neither of us will ever hurt you. I don't care what that pigtailed bitch says, let alone anyone you've met in this world.

...Ever since that trip I just can't trust anyone anymore.

Hey hey hey, save it for tomorrow, kid. It's late and I really don't want to start on a vital subject with seconds left on the clock.

Okay. I just... I just wish I could... see you, I guess. Just once, and maybe I'd feel safer. I don't know; I feel stupid and sick and wrong and talking to anyone just makes it worse.

Is that it? The self-loathing's gotten that bad?

Yeah. And my grandmother just came out and made it worse. I really need to sign off, I'm sorry.

Hey, no apologies needed there. I don't want to see you suffering any more today.

Geez, that's unusual of you.

Heh, not quite. It's the right kind of suffering I promote, not this hell. This... is just sadistic at this point.

You think?

Yeah, I do. But come on already, get some rest. The earlier you manage to get up the less screaming you'll have to put up with...

I don't think I've... I've ever seen you this sad.

Me neither, kid. Guess it came with the job description, though.

I'm sorry.

Hey, no apologies. This isn't your fault, believe me when I tell you. Now get to work and I'll see you tomorrow evening.

And then we'll really talk.

Yeah. Then the big guns come out.

Or swords. I've been rather partial to them lately.

Haha, I bet you have! But really, sleep.

Okay.

Actually, no. Wait up just one second, I promised I'd bring this up.

...What?

Chaos is... infinitely more torn up about this than I am, really. I know your paranoia is making it really difficult for you to associate with anyone other than me, but kid, the two of you really need each other right now, and not in the stupid way all these halfwits around you do.

...

I already spoke with him tonight; now you need to man up and do the same. Don't let the world try to black you out, because you have a heck of a lot more light than... look. Please, just... just fix this. I don't want to see what you guys have being undermined by some filthy whore and her brainless perverted antics. I don't think I could handle that. Heck, none of us could handle that!

But what do I do?

Heh, there you go again. Stop asking other people how to live your life. It's not right. I know you've practically been programmed to do that but come on. Think about what Weiss would say.

Haha, yeah... he wouldn't be very happy.

Yeah, no kidding. And neither would I.

Okay, okay... I'll try something. I don't know what yet, but I'll try.

Good. Sorry about that, but I wouldn't be able to sleep if I forgot.

I know the feeling.

Yeah... geez. We're dragging this on too long and I'm getting anxious. Count of three and we close up.

Who's counting?

Me, and time's up. Off you go.

All right, all right.