i'm smiling already

[prismaticbleed]

 

From now on this journal is free domain for the madness inside my mind.

 

See you on the other side.

 

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THIS IS NOT A JOURNAL.

You will not find witty banter or book reviews on this page. You will not find relationship advice or recipes.
You will, however, find some very interesting and bizarre conversations.

This is not a journal... this is quite literally my life.

This is where my "headvoices" and I come to talk, to discuss our life situations, and/or to philosophize on whatever issues are troubling us that day.
It's a raw stream of consciousness and it's not for the faint of heart.
It is, however, the most honest insight you will ever get into our lives.

Feel free to read if you wish, but do watch your step.


(LAST UPDATED 2012)


Red = Jewel
Violet = Laurie
Aqua = Chaos 0
Orange = Genesis (Selph)
Ultraviolet = Xenophon
Crimson = Lynne
Brown = Spine
Yellow = Josephina
Teal = Nathaniel (Natalie)
Blue = Waldorf
Indigo = Leon
Pink = Julie
White = Mr. Sandman

Waiting for an open session and/or channel access:

Sky = Ryou
Purple = Marik
Mint = Celebi


No longer speaking:

Smoke = Jessica (Splintered)
Green = Qlok (Quoted only)
Lime = Vickie (Quoted only)
Gray = Vezerai (Guest only)


Old entries may not adhere to this color code. For example:
Lynne originally spoke in orange, before she fully manifested.
Genesis originally spoke in yellow, but then chose to speak in orange.
Josephina originally spoke in lilac, but this has been corrected to match his new color.
Spine originally spoke in tan, but this has been corrected to match her new color.

This list will be regularly updated to reflect the current speech coloration.


F.A.Q.

What is a "headvoice?"
In our jargon, a "headvoice" is an individual born within headspace that serves a specific function within the system as a whole. These functions may be "inflicted" or "inborn." Headvoices with unstable or unclear functions can die from the lack of stabilization, while those with "function overload" may corrupt to an equally lethal extreme.

How many headvoices are in your system?
Taking both upstairs and underground into consideration, there are approximately eleven headvoices in our system. It's difficult to tell.

What's the difference between "upstairs," "downstairs," and "underground?"
"Upstairs" refers to headspace life, aka anything non-physical. "Downstairs" refers to physical life, aka what the body must participate in to survive. "Underground" refers to a specific level of lower headspace that contains very dangerous individuals, and is not typically accessible.

What is "central headspace" and how is it different from normal headspace?
"Central" is a specific area of headspace that has been stabilized into a sort of "safe space" for the core individuals in our system. Most headvoices live there. It is also where our discussions on this website take place.
'Normal' headspace is more strongly connected to Jewel's raw consciousness than Central; as a result it is typically fluid and highly mutable, with few 'fixed' areas.

Why do you have characters from games/ TV/ etc. up there too?
When Jewel was younger, his consciousness would 'branch out' rather uncontrollably. Because of this he'd often 'catch' the vibrations of same-level individuals outside our system (i.e. media sources), effectively creating a sort of energetic bridge for them to enter headspace if they so wished. Few individuals were able to enter, though, and even fewer were able to stay. Those who did exhibited a peculiar sort of "resonance" with our inner energy field that effectively made them just as much a part of this system as we are, and may even be mandatory for such a scenario. This phenomenon is still being investigated, but that's the gist of it.

Do they count as "headvoices" too?
Technically, no, as they do not originate from inside the system, and they are entirely different life-forms as well. We refer to them as "walk-ins" or "outspacers" if need be.

Why are the older entries here so different from the newer ones?
We started this site in 2008 as an attempt to stabilize all of us, and to record the process of such. Headspace was new back then, and for the most part, so were we. Headvoices typically go through a "stabilization" period after their birth, during which time they become less impulse and more individual. All of our system members have their adjustment periods documented here in one sense or another.
On that note, underground influence was also rampant in the subconscious in 2008. Most of the old Jewel-centric entries were almost entirely tainted by that, as Jewel himself didn't start to truly stabilize until 2011. Asking him why he no longer acts that way is the equivalent of asking a grown man why he no longer acts like he did as an infant.

Why don't you guys update more often?
Hosting a Xanga session takes a great deal of time and personal energy. Although we would love to update once a week, our schedule does not favor such an ideal. Not only does our system have to deal with the menial concerns of a physical existence, but we also have to deal with our own upstairs lives at the same time. Due to the myriad and frequently unexpected events on both levels, we often do not have sufficient time or energy left to get everyone together and host a session. We are, however, trying to find a happy medium concerning this situation.



Feel free to leave questions as a comment to this entry; we'll be glad to answer them either here or in an actual session.