prayer journal 07

[prismaticbleed]

People aren't mind-readers; to get help, you have to ask for it. Prayer can be similar-- although God already knows what you need, he wants you to tell Him your exact troubles, and ask for specific help. He will be there.
Where in life do you need help, and who besides God can you ask? How has God helped you in your time of need?

I need help with staying "ME" instead of dissociating, fawning, or denying that core. I need to be able to BE A "PERSON" in the first place, before I can LIVE, and before I can BE IN this body! And besides prayer, I HAVE TO ACCEPT the "answer" God has ALREADY given me-- the Spectrum. YES, THEY ARE A LEGIT & PROVEN INSTRUMENT OF GOD'S LOVE, and they help me to be WHO GOD WANTS ME TO BE, as a WHOLE. We work TOGETHER to conquer sinful faults & show tender compassion, to be just AND merciful, to be brave & true & REAL. So I NEED to ask THEM for help, too, as we ALL cooperate with GOD!

TODAY I GIVE THANKS...

+ I thank God for His truly constant, unconditional, unstoppable, ardent love... for me. That intimate specificity within the cosmic universality is beyond comprehension. 
...In my dreams last night, at one point, I was talking to Jesus, asking Him about love and being loved & all my fears in relation to the trauma I kept re-experiencing, especially in nightmares. I wanted TO love, and to BE loved, WITHOUT forcing, and WITHOUT allegedly "forgetting GOD"-- I've been thinking of "love" as something I could ONLY give to GOD, OR a creature. ...I forget the context of His reply, but Jesus told me that, essentially, He WAS "working through" Chaos Zero TO "show me/ give me His unconditional & unwavering Love" in a way I COULD understand AND reciprocate. He ASSURED me that, wherever true Love existed, GOD WAS THERE IN IT, both giving AND receiving, through us & in us & for us. So remember that, and DON'T DENY LOVE!!