Dec. 10th, 2015

prismaticbleed: (worried)



december 10th

just some notes from today.
we haven't been updating (or sleeping) lately and that's not cool.


- GENESIS MAKES MEMORIES ACCESSIBLE.
He is the biggest level-linker, being our main ghoster, allowing for internal consciousness TO exist downstairs.
The awareness of this is striking. If Genesis is not in a memory, it's probably a social's memory, and it's probably incredibly shallow.
Genesis' presence in memories gives them depth and context and presence in time, because cognizance of him requires a conscious individual to front.
Notably, there are no college memories without him in them. If we "guess" at what it would be like without him, automatically the fronter turns to either Jessica/Jezebel or the proud "Jewel" (I don't remember if she had her own name found yet?).


- "proud" 2007 Jewel did not love Laurie; when you get to those memories it switches to CANNON. That proud Jewel remembers high school but not college. Tied to the above point, Cannon remembers college AND Genesis.
- Related; the "proud" Jewel DID talk in the early Xangas, but remember that they lumped Laurie in with Julie, considering BOTH of them "inner demons" and assumedly wanting them both gone. We have no idea if this person knew Lynne and Natalie or not; it seems like they were only aware of them in a "data" sense.
- The "proud" Jewel also did not interact with Q. That person was probably Jennifer, which meant that it was never romantic at all-- this is why "we" thought we were "in love" with literally all of our friends back then; Jennifer does not understand romance but she's so naïvely affectionate that she just assumes that's what it is. However she cannot be around people in a romantic context; SHE WILL SHUT OFF as that is NOT her function. She exists to be something like a maid or servant, someone who is just a helper, NOT a partner of any sort.


- Overload? responds to the given name by screaming "that's not my name;" she does not want that name to be ANYONE's because of how corrupted it is.
Overload was blurry for a while, BUT thank God we seem to have finally pinpointed her. The furious girl who wrote in the original white handwriting tablet is the SAME alter that was shouting at Laurie during the marker convo in 2013. We did refer to that person as Overload. There is also one recent xanga that included her and she was in a non-capslock state... mostly. She starts to switch later on. She is fully capable of talking "calmly" but her vibe feels strained. Nevertheless it IS her vibe. So the point here is, we now recognize her when she shows up... which is vital because there are other angry alters besides her and not all of them are nice, so we have to be extremely vigilant in watching for slippage. But Overload is really important and I am very thankful that we're working with her so frequently now, that she's talking to us and not just screaming from suffering all the time.
- We used to "slip up" with her name and call her "Overlord" sometimes, which still fit and that was disturbing at first. It's probably because she has such profound anchorage into Brown AND the social-alter group tied to the physical life script? So she's got MASSIVE influence in a realm that virtually no one else upstairs can even touch.


- Jennifer is NOT EVIL. She's the ultimate people-pleaser and she's sweet as pie but she cannot exist introspectively. Even when alone, sure she doesn't stop smiling (and it's sincere but very very naïve), but she is only thinking of how she's going to affect others. "What will I do for people when I leave this room?" She CANNOT exist internally because her entire existence is about being a pretty kind face for others. But she's NICE.
She's also tied to the "chestnut" hairstyle as it's just as cute as she is. I think she appears in a lot of photos like this?
- I cannot remember off-hand if we've been calling the "manic fandom babbler" social a name or not? HOWEVER i just found a note on the table that names her as JACKIE. and that name FITS. so remember that.


- Also, while I'm remembering it: in mass last week, lynne & josephina fronted! lynne actually tried to sing for a bit (she can still safely use our voice), which was lovely.

 


- therapy: mentioning how jay's "physical life" memories DON'T INCLUDE PEOPLE.
this seems to be a constant for the cores?? it was the same thing with cannon.

THIS is why we still think SLC and MU were utterly blissful places, despite the piles of angry entries protesting to the contrary. we aren't aware of any of that stuff.
most notably, we don't remember any people. in ALL our "real" memories downstairs, in which we are conscious, it's just us and the ghosters.




(I want to elaborate on this entry later; remind me guys)

 




Profile

prismaticbleed: (Default)
prismaticbleed

June 2025

S M T W T F S
1234567
89101112 1314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930     

Most Popular Tags

Page Summary

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 7th, 2025 04:06 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios