tbhu worksheet = INSIDE OUT 2 QUESTIONS

[prismaticbleed]

INSIDE OUT 2 REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS: TOOLS FOR NAVIGATING EMOTIONS AND IDENTITY

(ANXI'S SYSTEM JOB: "EUSTRESS")

(THE LINE THAT HURTS MY HEART THE MOST: "JOY, I'M DOING THIS FOR YOU")

✳Anxi telling Joy "you aren't what [Riley] NEEDS anymore" HURTS, because of what it ALSO says about her OWN HEART. Anxi is SO FOCUSED on "ENSURING SAFETY" that she doesn't factor in the FACT that Riley STILL NEEDS TO BE HAPPY & ENJOY LIFE. Anxi is too scared of "failure" to just "let go" of CONTROL & just "BE IN THE NOW." ALL of Anxi's "happiness" is CONDITIONAL & FLEETING; she's easily shaken back up by the next "threat" or "what if." SHE CAN'T RELAX. ...or at least, NOT UNTIL THE END OF THE FILM, when SHE IS EMBRACED BY JOY, WITH ALL THE OTHER EMOTIONS. And then JOY HERSELF helps Anxi relax, WITHOUT "SHUTTING HER DOWN" OR "BRUSHING OFF"/ INVALIDATING HER ANXIOUS CONCERNS!! JOY SEES & HONORS ANXI'S NECESSARY FUNCTION, & TOGETHER THEY CAN ALL BE HAPPY!! (because they are ALL LOVED)

✳ANXI SUPPRESSES THE "MAINS" BECAUSE SHE'S AFRAID THEY'LL PREVENT RILEY FROM REACHING HER NEW "MATURE" POTENTIAL?? THIS IS BOTH SCARY & TRAGIC. ANXI LITERALLY "OVERRIDES" JOY/ SORROW/ ANGER/ DISGUST/ FEAR! SHE IS HYPERFOCUSED AND BLINDED BY IT...

✳ANXIETY DESPERATELY WANTS TO BE ACCEPTED, INCLUDED, & LOVED WITHOUT PRETENSE. Ironically, her FEAR of REJECTION causes SELF-SABOTAGE and only COMPLICATES/ FRUSTRATES her efforts. (RILEY NEEDS TO LOVE HERSELF FIRST)

1. THE DOWNSIDE OF POSITIVITY:
✳ANXI WORKING POSITIVELY allows EXCITEMENT??
"At the start... Riley believes “I am a good person,” heavily influenced by Joy’s positivity. In fact, Joy goes so far as boot out shameful or painful memories..."
✳Joy is operating on the FALSE ASSUMPTION that "GOOD PEOPLE" DON'T EVER DO SUCH THINGS?? ("PERFECTION") (ironically a CRUEL MINDSET) (OUR "TOXIC SOCIALS" DO THIS!!!)
"...How does Joy’s effort to keep Riley happy sometimes cross into denial or toxic positivity? What are the potential consequences of ignoring painful or shameful emotions?"
ALL EMOTIONS ARE VALID, IMPORTANT, AND REAL. But those emotions EXIST FOR GOOD REASONS!! It would be WRONG for JOY to be our response to EVERYTHING, and to DENY/ FORGET/ SUPPRESS/ PUSH AWAY any emotions that are "uncomfortable" is to DIMINISH OUR HUMANITY. We NEED to feel PAIN & SHAME & SORROW & ANGER & DISGUST. We even, I argue, NEED to feel ANXIETY, because she CARES. BUT IF JOY IS THE ONLY "ALLOWED" emotion/ STANDARD, then ALL our emotions become UNHEALTHY/ INCOMPLETE. WE NEED THE FULL SPECTRUM to be EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY & GENUINELY HUMAN. To ignore the hurting/ scared parts of us is to HOLLOW OURSELVES OUT. Dissociating from "bad memories" SHATTERS YOUR SENSE OF SELF by SLICING YOUR HISTORY & HONESTY TO PIECES. It's ALL YOU! 

2. ANXIETY'S ROLE IN FUTURE PLANNING: "The movie shows a power struggle between Joy and Anxiety. Anxiety takes charge of guiding Riley’s decisions about her future, saying “You aren’t what she needs anymore, Joy.” When we grow up, do we feel less joy? How does Anxiety’s focus on future planning both help and hinder Riley? 
JOY IS ONLY "IN THE PRESENT MOMENT"!! vs. ANXI = "WHAT'S NEXT?"
Reflect on times in your life where anxiety has been both a motivator and a challenge."
A realization: JOY is IN THE NOW. ANXIETY IS IN THE FUTURE. (DEPRESSION is in the PAST??) We feel less joy ONLY inasmuch as we WORRY about the unknown/ undecided; adults HAVE to "plan ahead" & consider obstacles, BUT this can become OBSESSIVE & prevent HOPE/ OPTIMISM too, claiming NEGATIVITY alone is REALITY. But IT'S NOT. REALITY IS ALSO BEAUTIFUL. We must ALWAYS ALLOW SPACE FOR JOY. Nevertheless, Anxiety IS helpful, as she DOES strategically set us up for success WHEN SHE'S HEALTHILY DIRECTED, & ROOTED IN TRUST IN PROVIDENCE. Anxiety SEEKS CONTROL to "ensure success" BUT SHE CAN NEVER "GUARANTEE" IT due to unpredictable variables. THAT'S where she NEEDS to TRUST, as she STILL motivates us to DO OUR BEST. And AS she relaxes into FAITH, there IS ROOM FOR JOY, in EVERY outcome. It's radical but LIBERATING. We DO NEED JOY, but IN TANDEM WITH THE CROSS! (TRUTH = LOVE!) 

3. THE VAULT OF SECRETS: "Joy sends less than great memories to Riley’s vault. There Riley stores her embarrassing and shameful secrets and suppresses painful memories to the back of the mind... Riley’s vault of secrets represents how we often hide our most painful memories. 
FROM WHOM? Primarily OTHERS or OURSELVES? Is that significant? (YES)
How do you see this coping mechanism playing out in real life, and what happens when we finally face these hidden emotions?"
(We become WHOLE at last, but it HURTS and it's HARD. They carry WOUNDS.)
I have been hiding/ suppressing trauma memories for YEARS out of shame/ pain, because I felt I COULDN'T "accept" & INTEGRATE them into my REAL HISTORY without DAMAGING MY IDENTITY BEYOND REPAIR (hello, D.I.D.!). THAT part happens LONG BEFORE I even consider how others would "view me" = the REAL pain & shame is PERSONAL. Even ALONE, I "DON'T WANT TO BE THAT KIND OF PERSON," BUT I make the FALSE ASSUMPTION that THOSE MEMORIES & EMOTIONS ALONE "DEFINE ME." But like Joy said, EMOTIONS DON'T DECIDE WHO I AM. NEITHER DOES THE TRAUMA. "I AM MORE THAN MY MISTAKES." + SHAME IS "EXTERNAL"?? IT IS BASED ON OTHERS' RESPONSES TO US? So we can ALSO hide memories that AREN'T "bad," EVEN ones we LOVE, SOLELY OUT OF SHAME-- the FEAR OF REJECTION/ SOCIAL UNACCEPTANCE. But then we're MISERABLE & SUPPRESSED & DISHONEST. The "vault" is a way to "cope" with that anxiety. BUT IT NEVER SOLVES THE PROBLEM. The problem IS DENYING OUR HEART'S TRUTH!

4. HOW IMAGINATIONLAND CHANGES FROM CHILDHOOD:
✳ The FACT that IMAGINATION EXISTS IN CHILDHOOD & DOESN'T NATURALLY DWELL ON THE NEGATIVE IS ESPECIALLY PROOF THAT ITS TRUE, INTENDED PURPOSE IS POSITIVELY CREATIVE! Thoughts are POWERFUL & eventually they WILL & DO DEFINE OUR REALITY! THIS IS WHAT ANXI DOESN'T REALIZE-- NEGATIVE FOCUS ONLY FOMENTS NEGATIVE OUTCOMES. Her worried heart is TRAPPED in a LOOP. There MUST be a PROPER BALANCE-- Anxi's realistic concerns about a fallen world & its dangers, and Joy's childlike optimism capable of idealism. EITHER of them in extreme is a DISTORTED VIEW. Nevertheless, imagination IS BUILT FOR JOY-- it HEALS THE HEART when properly used for LOVE and HOPE!
"...Imaginationland evolves to include Mount Crushmore (crushes) and gossip. Anxiety puts the “screenwriters” to work anticipating multiple negative scenarios. 
"ANTICIPATING" IS THE DANGER WORD!! (DOOM)
How does this shift reflect the changing inner world of teenagers and young adults, and how do these changes mirror your own experiences?"
We actually noticed this in REALTIME with our dream journals. As we were forced to exist "outside" more & more, we started to DREAM about WHAT MADE US ANXIOUS OUT THERE. I don't think we were CONSCIOUSLY admitting that stress, what with the people-pleasing Socials, who had NO INTERNAL ANCHOR. Honestly our imagination was RULED BY JEWEL all through our teens & THANK GOD FOR THAT, because it PRESERVED OUR CHILDHOOD SENSE OF JOY & WONDER. Still, she WAS also the one in charge of LOVE, and THAT'S HOW *INCIDENTS* STARTED. To be honest, those ALSO seemed to be tied in to processing/ living out our anxieties-- the Tar/ Plague would MANIFEST those fears & threats, as did the early Kakofoni. This was how we COPED, and it's what Anxi is ideally TRYING to do-- if Riley can IMAGINE the negative scenarios, then she can ALSO imagine how to CONQUER/ PREVENT/ AVOID them. The problem is that Anxi is SO focused on anticipating as many possible problems as she can, that she's draining both her & Riley's confidence & capacity TO challenge them-- something, ironically, that ONLY JOY CAN DO. The two need to WORK TOGETHER. Joy CAN'T imagine things going wrong & she gets BLINDSIDED-- OR blinds HERSELF to the problem. Anxi struggles to see anything BUT the threats, and although she's prepared to face them, it's EXHAUSTING & can feel OVERWHELMING to the point of HOPELESSNESS. And yet, SHE'S DOING IT FOR JOY! ANXI IS ONLY TRYING TO POINT OUT THE NEGATIVE SO WE CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT & ALLOW/ ENABLE JOY TO FLOURISH!! 

5. INTEGRATION OF NEW EMOTIONS: "Joy shares, “I’ve learned every emotion is good for Riley.” As Riley learns to accept emotions like Embarrassment and Envy, how does this contribute to her overall emotional growth? 
It is PROGRESS for Riley to FEEL all these complex emotions!
Why is it important to embrace all emotions, even the challenging ones?"
✳Keyword = to EMBRACE. We really DO need to CHERISH our emotions AS THEY ARE. 
It's important because THEY ALL SPEAK TRUTH. God gave us the capacity for emotion & EVERY ONE teaches us about ourself. We can be far too quick to stick a negative label on a challenging emotion, BUT the way NATURE of a challenge is to PROVE YOURSELF & GROW IN CHARACTER. Plus, suppressing/ denying/ fighting/ rejecting ANY emotion is effectively SILENCING YOUR OWN HEART. And NOTHING can grow if you keep crushing part of it, just because you don't understand it. EMOTIONS ARE MESSENGERS-- effectively, they are ANGELS, teaching us something about our God-given humanity, & giving us countless opportunities for building character & strengthening virtue. Not only that, but LOOK at what those "challenging" emotions DO! Embarrassment works to help FOSTER MATURITY & PROTECT SOCIAL REPUTATION; he shows up when he perceives Riley has done something "immature" or "socially inept," challenging her to move into young adulthood and to be more wise and collected in her behavior. And Envy is in tune with Riley's desires and dreams, keeping an eye out for things that reflect & reveal more of her identity as she grows in self-awareness, and seeking to bring them into her life. She affirms Riley's individuality, AND how she can still relate to/ connect with others who have what she ALSO wants in her life. Emotions are powerful and essential to what it means to be human. Accepting them all for exactly what they are is the ONLY way to truly KNOW THYSELF and to both GROW & IMPROVE, by LISTENING CLOSELY to what they have to tell us, and SITTING WITH THEM AS FRIENDS-- as PART OF OUR SOUL. You CANNOT BE WHOLE WITHOUT THEM. You need ALL your heart's colors!!

6. PERFECTIONISM AND SELF-WORTH: "Anxiety’s struggle with perfectionism is intended to drive improvement. 
✳KEYWORD= SHE STRUGGLES WITH PERFECTIONISM!! IT HURTS HER, TOO!!
✳KEYWORD 2 = "IMPROVEMENT." ANXI CAN SEE THE IDEAL YOU AND WANTS YOU TO ACHIEVE THAT!
It contrasts sharply with Joy’s message of self-acceptance. How do these opposing views shape Riley’s self-worth, and how do they resonate with your own experiences? How might these beliefs influence your decisions and emotional responses in everyday situations?"
(Anxi my beloved you break my heart)
Our self-worth has BOTH personal & social components, and they sadly tend to contrast. Anxi deals with BOTH. Socially, we are TAUGHT that our worth depends on our USEFULNESS, our SUCCESSFULNESS, and our CONFORMITY to CULTURAL STANDARDS. These are all SHALLOW & FALSE but they still shout loudly & most people (especially teens) end up desperately scrambling to "be perfect" simply to be ACCEPTED into their communities. Internally, Anxi SEES OUR POSITIVE POTENTIAL and WANTS us to reach it-- but she doesn't realize that it's an EVER-HEIGHTENING GOAL and WILL take ALL OF OUR LIFE to strive after, and NEVER "REACH" FULLY, BY DESIGN! Perfection ISN'T POSSIBLE in the way humans define it. We ALL HAVE FLAWS and we ALL MAKE MISTAKES and we ALL STRUGGLE TO BE OUR BEST SELVES. This is PART of the beauty of being human. Ideally, Anxi pushes us to HEROIC VIRTUE, as she is KEENLY AWARE of SPIRITUAL WARFARE and HOW EASILY WE CAN SLIP & FALL. But she, too, can get tangled up in the devilish lie that we're NEVER "good enough"-- that we CAN'T be accepted even AS we struggle. But that's where JOY comes in to help her. Joy DOESN'T JUDGE OR CONDEMN, so she feels UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS & COMPASSIONATE PATIENCE even as Anxi reminds us that we're "at war" and we NEED to constantly fight the good fight; Joy can become blinded to the continuous need for Anxi's perceptive challenges for improvement. BUT WE HAVE INHERENT WORTH and Anxi NEEDS to trust that, no matter HOW society may regard us-- their rejection DOESN'T MEAN WE'RE "BROKEN". If she BELIEVES this, Anxi's job becomes VALIANT, not frightening, and actually STRENGTHENS our sense of self-worth.  

✳ANXI WANTS TO BE A GOOD PERSON-- BUT HER STANDARDS ARE TOO HIGH!!

✳REMEMBER Anxi is ALSO a "PEOPLE-PLEASER." This isn't bad-- it can be harnessed for ZEALOUS CHARITY & it SHOWS that she has a HEART FOR SERVICE-- but it becomes a problem when the MOTIVE is "TRYING TO EARN LOVE/ ACCEPTANCE/ APPROVAL/ WORTH/ etc." With SELFWORTH, Anxi's drive BECOMES SELFGIFT???

7. REFLECTION ON CORE BELIEFS: "Riley as a child believes she is a “good person.” Later, Riley starts to develop a new core belief, “If I’m good at hockey, I’ll make friends.” What core beliefs do you hold about yourself, and how do they impact your actions and emotions? Can you relate to her struggle between “I’m not good enough” and “I’m a good person”? Is there room for both??"
This ACHES. That struggle is CAUSED BY RELATIONSHIPS-- even a child will believe they're "not good enough" if THAT'S HOW THEY'RE TREATED. And for that EXACT reason, I USED to have the terribly distorted core belief that "I AM A MONSTER." I believed that "I'm a BAD person" and so I felt INCAPABLE of doing/ being good, REGARDLESS of my efforts. And my poor emotions were JUST AS TORMENTED. I COULDN'T FEEL JOY because even when I DID, I'd PUNISH myself for it in SELF-SABOTAGE that MATCHED that core belief. Now, thanks to both my stay in E.D. inpatient care AND my falling in love with Anxi, I NO LONGER BELIEVE THOSE DISTORTIONS. 
...


8. EMBRACING COMPLEXITY OF SELF: "At the end... Riley not only learns to appreciate the importance of all emotions, but adds complexity to her core self. How does this resonate with your experiences of self-acceptance and understanding others’ multifaceted identities?"
Being a System makes this effectively MANDATORY. Although our emotions are practically personified in some cases due to compartmentalizing, they are HELD & FELT BY PEOPLE and EVERY ONE OF US IS NECESSARY AND REAL. 
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9. REFLECTING ON FAULTS & SEEING OURSELF IN OTHERS: "Joy’s confrontation with Anxiety’s dominance leads her to reflect on her own similar actions. Have you ever seen your own traits reflected in others’ faults or mistakes? How has this realization helped you grow or change? This exchange leads Joy to realize that she, too, cannot control Riley’s identity. Have you ever experienced a situation where someone’s faults or mistakes helped you recognize similar traits or behaviors in yourself? Have you ever tried to shift thoughts about a difficult person or relationship to be a self-lesson, like looking in a mirror?"
We have an ENTIRE ENTRY about this in the Archives and it has become a HABITUAL SHIFT for us. 
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(worksheet unfinished due to being discharged from the hospital before we could do so; if possible we will complete it here, and mark the added sections as such)