A prayer for relapse

[prismaticbleed]

 

Lord God, Merciful Savior, help me. I am so afraid. 

Recently our eating disorder has returned, due to the stressful change in our living situation. I can't stop it on my own. It's too powerful— it's an addiction, a drug, a psychological narcotic. Once it begins, I'm trapped like a  man falling without a parachute. This won't stop until I hit rock bottom.

Please, Lord, don't let me die from this.

Please, Lord, stabilize our mind & emotions so these behaviors won't keep getting triggered so hard. 

Give us again the joy of Your Help, the bliss of freedom & peace.

Reach down and rescue us from this slippery slope. Put our feet back on solid ground.

But... God, if You're LETTING this relapse happen, for YOUR GOOD REASONS, then please, we beg You, strengthen us and give us hope amidst the trauma. Help us to properly learn what we need to from this, so it never happens again. 

Above all... whatever You do or don't do to deliver us, there is one thing we implore with all our heart: Let even this hellish time somehow bring us permanently closer to Your Loving & Merciful Heart. 

Amen.