UNDERTALE DAY 3

[prismaticbleed]

 

undertale day 3.
just a bit tonight.


finally beat the mad dummy, 2hp left but i did it.

decided to lie on the floor with napstablook and THAT IS REALLY REALLY NICE.

"looks like you encouraged your snail too much... all that pressure to succeed... really got to her..."
(i never considered that and this gave me pause. remember this)


"legend says an "angel" who has seen the surface will descend from above and give us freedom... lately, the people have been taking a bleaker outlook, calling that circle the 'angel of death'... a harbinger of destruction, waiting to 'free' us from this mortal realm..."

...that made me think a lot of headspace, especially how the undergrounders/chthonics reacted to us upper-level folks reaching down to them. it's like this, a split between "oh thank god you can help" and "there's no way in hell i'm letting you near me" and it's all based on fear of "why are you reaching down to us in the first place?"
remember, initially, knife and razor and wreckage and the others all hated the upper people because they thought we were blind and ignorant and abusive as a result of not understanding THEIR position. and that was very humbling.
but when they got to know us a lot of them changed to hope... at least, the ones who saw hope in the healing, who wanted to "reach the surface" so to speak. but some still thought that in coming there, we were trying to kill them-- that in "healing them" we were actually annihilating them. there are still alters who think that way, we need to be gentler and more understanding and more patient with them. it's a very individualized process really.
i'm sorry, i'm tired, i hope that's not rambling.

similar=
"He will take the surface back from humanity... and give them back the suffering and pain that we endured. Understand, human? This is your only chance at redemption. Give up your soul..."
that has more parallels to our viciously damaged alters, esp. the chthonics at first: how, as i said, they thought all those above-ground were responsible for all their suffering (not realizing we had suffered too), and they wanted nothing more than to make us pay for it... then remove us from the picture.
again i feel like i'm rambling. i can feel the similarity but i'm struggling to verbalize it.


The sparkly room with the flowers is really lovely.

(speaking of flowers i KNEW i wasn't hallucinating before!)


"The Angel... the One Who Has Seen The Surface... they will return. And the underground will go empty."
(with the sentiment that those in our System born lower-down being deeply hurt... this is very hopeful.)


also i love this dino child, they are precious.
that bit with "so i guess we're enemies now" just broke my heart. i'm so glad it didn't pan out.


ohhhh lord i haven't have a save point in a while and i have no hp and UNDYNE JUST UNMASKED
her music is totally boss though. so was that dramatic intro.
(also i love her sneer that is fantastic)

"You're standing in the way of everybody's hopes and dreams! Alphys's history books made me think humans were cool... with their giant robots and flowery swordswomen. But you? You're just a coward! Hiding behind that kid so you could run away from me again! And let's not forget your wimpy goody-two-shoes-schtick! Oooh! I'm making such a difference by hugging random strangers! You know what would be more valuable to everyone? IF YOU WERE DEAD!!! That's right, human! Your continued existence is a crime! Your life is all that stands between us and our freedom! Right now, I can feel everyone's hearts pounding together! Everyone's been waiting their whole lives for this moment! But we're not nervous at all. When everyone puts their hearts together, they can't lose! Now, human! Let's end this, right here, right now. I'll show you how determined monsters can be!"

that is...
no wonder this character keeps making me think of laurie, that is so relevant to headspace it hurts.
that is exactly what we're all trying to do right now...
...on both sides.


On that note, perhaps ironically... I love, I absolutely LOVE, how her speech paints YOU as the villain, so to speak, with TOTAL HONESTY.
like her speech is totally heartfelt and it MAKES SENSE and you get why she's doing this and just how much harm you're doing by NOT giving in, by refusing to make that self-sacrifice for the greater good... it's all very morally gray and it makes you really really stop and think. i'm still affected by it.

but again.
it's so relevant to our inner life that it's painful. but that's good. that means it's significant.

and i'm always the one looking for option three.
there has to be one here.

...would you believe i'm scared to fight her now?
this is SO applicable to our innerlife that, in fighting her with the intent to win, to not become soul #7, and therefore denying them the freedom they so desperately have pursued and dreamed of... i'm afraid that will truly make me a cold-hearted villain, no matter what a "goody two shoes" i try to be.
that sort of morally aching self-assessment... that's my life. that's my whole life right now.
this needs its own entry.

but there has to be, there has to be an option where everyone's highest good is recognized.
i would gladly sacrifice myself but in this game now i'm thinking of papyrus and sans and the dino kid and the angel prophecy and even whoever i left behind in my human family above ground. yeah i could definitely die and let the monsters go free at long last.
...but their intent is to just mirror back suffering. they want their freedom but they also want vengeance.
i don't want any heads rolling here. i'm tired of seeing blood, blood, blood. there IS another way even if I have to forge the damn thing with my own bones. there's another way, that doesn't involve adding to the compendium of pain.

this game is really making me think and i adore it.
again, THANK YOU E, this is exactly what we needed right now.



and OH THANK THE LORD I CAN GO BUY STUFF
...but I just died.
ah well. it's a long walk back. i'll do that tomorrow.

good night kids