no friends

[prismaticbleed]

I never actually had a friend until I was 17 years old, however hard that may be to believe. I had no interactive skills as a child, due to both a troublesome upbringing and a lack of exposure to any real social situations outside of school. So not only did I not know how to talk to people, I also had no reason to feel like I should. I was perfectly happy being utterly alone, as I was unaware of any contrary situation.

 

Then I discovered the internet, and after gaining the guts to join an artistic website, people suddenly began talking to me.
I was a laughable mess at first, as far as communication went. Everything I said and did was mimicry wrapped up in cliches, and more often than not I was simply parroting "what I felt I was supposed to say." Nevertheless, it was strangely nice, to have people actually seeing and treating me as an individual, as someone they actually wanted to interact with.

 

I latched on to about three of those individuals fairly quickly, and, unaware that they did not see me as I saw them, I considered them all my best friends.
Well, actually, it was more than that... they were my ONLY friends, too.
When, one day, I realized that they had other people to talk to besides me, it was a surprise. When I realized that I was not their best friend, it was a shock.
When it hit me that, to them, I was just some random kid on the internet, and that they had tons of friends offline who meant more to them than I ever would...

 

I've still never been anyone's best friend. I can't help but think it would be nice.