062513

[prismaticbleed]

 

Wow, nasty update city here. Been a long time since that happened.

Yes, this is J, because it's 2:15 in the morning and this is my time, haha. It's lovely, but unfortunate, because the body's already half-asleep-- by the time Minty snuggles up with her Care Bear (she really helps the system fall asleep) I won't be able to keep conscious for much longer!
Ah well. Just letting you kids know I'm still alive, somewhere... not sure where. Since I'm the White slot dude now I'm technically "out of the System" as far as Up/Down dichotomies go; I'm not firmly anchored to either. Same with my dear Infi. It's so we can work with the System in its entirety.
Regardless I'm still my usual smiling self and tonight's been great. Here, listen to this, it's stuck in my head. It's great too!

Like I said, though, we need sleep. Staying up too late always has unfortunate physical repercussions, and I'd rather not deal with those!

'Night everyone, I'll try to fix whatever this mess is as soon as I possibly can. ♥ Lots of love.

 

 

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@ 11:26 pm

 

 

I hate having to sit all day to do all this research and work; it hurts and I want to move all the time, but then I can't get anything finished. I need to get a treadmill desk or something, find a place to put it.

As for why I'm updating: I'm just writing this down so I don't forget, because I don't think it was recorded and I just had the memory triggered out of the blue:
I went to a small, local spiritual expo on April 27th, unfortunately I couldn't stay long (AGAIN) because I was getting energetically overwhelmed, it wore me out. Not much to see either; everything was either too expensive or something I didn't need.
The aura-photo lady I always see was there though, she gave me a $5 discount. Aura was green this time, I remember giggling about this to myself for obvious sentimental reasons. I also remember thinking "hm, that's interesting" because it's NEVER turned up green before, but that's a healing color, and I was most definitely healing around that point in time. It was also only a few days after Emmett first showed himself (and he vacillated between Teal and Chartreuse for a bit), so that's significant too.
Anyway that's not the important thing. Shortly after I got that aura photo, there was a special event on the outside veranda, where a woman who could "speak with the dead" was going to give messages from "the other side." Of course I went out, I was interested to see if they'd speak to me for once... and that made me wonder. Do these people ONLY see "dead" individuals, i.e. people an individual has known in their current physical incarnation, but who have passed on? Because in that category I only know of my aunt, who died when I was 6, and who I don't remember at all... BUT I have known so many people both Upstairs and in Linkworlds that have died. Could these mediums speak with Leila or Andrelia, for example? Or is that a problem because their timelines don't line up with ours? In that case, can these mediums contact those who have never had a physical form, BUT that I know in this very lifetime? Could these mediums speak with Laurie or Genesis, then? What about all those "lost children" who are memorialized on these arms? Are they reachable?
Those are the kinds of questions I sat down with, secretly hoping she'd pick me, just to see what she'd have to say. But then I had another idea. What if I messed with her a bit, so to speak? No, I didn't call Genesis over, nor did I talk to anyone upstairs-- I clearly remember being "disconnected from headspace" that day so neither option was even desirable. And that point, actually, is what inspired me. "If I'm that disconnected, who knows who she'll end up talking to in my place," I thought. "She'll be talking to the body, or a downstairs voice, or someone else. If she talks to me, I need to make sure it's ME she's talking to!"
So, for at least 20 minutes of the time I was there, I consciously focused on anchoring myself into the body, visually as well as spiritually. You know: white hair, infamous beard (which helps immensely with grounding) and those rainbow halos/ ribbons that inexplicably appear around me when I anchor visually... the whole shebang. I had my eyes closed and was just focusing on that, kind of smiling to myself and wondering if anyone could tell.
Well, apparently, someone did.
I am dead serious, when it ended and I walked back inside the building, I hovered around the gemstone table for about 5 minutes and then decided to leave-- I'd seen everything there was to see there already and that anchoring had drained me! So I began walking towards the door, which meant I had to walk past the tables for the tarot readers and psychics... and suddenly, one of them called out "excuse me." I wanted to assume it wasn't for me but I felt the intention, so I looked, and sure enough a woman was looking at me oddly, and motioning for me to come over there. When I did, she apologized for being so 'forward,' but then said (roughly; I'm paraphrasing from memory) "I saw you sitting outside (during the medium's presentation), and I wanted to tell you, I saw a spirit right above you." Immediate eyebrow raise on my part: "really?" Upon asking for details, her response was that it had been a "young man, about [your] age." HMMM! She asked if my mother had any miscarriages, and I said yeah, "maybe that's who it was," not wanting to voice my actual suspicions (for fear of what she'd say about it; the last thing I needed then was more invalidation of my existence). I quickly thanked her and left then, but I had noticed that her oddly confused/ concerned look hadn't changed during our conversation... and I, personally, was trying very hard not to burst out laughing as I left the building. Of course, Genesis joined me as soon as I was out the front door... what'd I tell him? "I think someone just saw me." His response was a stunned "Wait, you mean YOU?"
So yeah. Possibly secondhand verification of "yes headspace is real and guess what I am too!" from a spiritual expo, not the first time either!
I'm saving up for the big one this fall (didn't go to the spring one because 1. no car, 2. awful state of mind at the time), so let's hope something else like that happens.

Anyway, as I said, I hate having to sit down all the time, geez. That's the problem with my obsession with categorizing things; I always have more books and encyclopedias to scour for information, taking notes and sketches, and then I have to sit even longer and work things out on paper, argh. There are so many papers on my desk right now it's making me dizzy. I don't know why I do this to myself, but NOT doing it will drive me mad. Darn you Dream World for being so awesome and complicated, haha. SO MUCH INFO.

That's that for tonight though. I have a lot of news and updates to catch up on here-- oh no more typing-- but not tonight, it's already 12AM and J-boy here needs his sleep for heaven's sakes.