prismaticbleed | sand in my pages (Reply)

Yesterday morning, around 12AM, I tentatively plugged in the XBox and took NIER out of its case, for the first time in 4 months. I knew my grandmother wouldn't approve; as far as she was concerned, if I wasn't able to magically find a job and drive off to work within the next five minutes, I was wasting my time... but to be honest, I had better things to do at the moment.
I put the disc into our battered console and watched the company logos blink onto the television screen, feeling a strange wave of anxious nostalgia burn through me. I clicked 'Continue' without a second thought and found myself standing amidst the grassy knolls of my hometown, hearing Devola singing at the fountain and immediately remembering that I had some Shades to take care of.
In that instant, the stress of the past few months dissolved into the sunlight, and my single worry was whether or not my daughter was feeling well.
If only I could find the words to explain how much these 'worthless endeavors' mean to me, both in the immediate future and in the long run. 'Video game' almost seems too crude a term to label them with at this point.

Chaos Zero finds it both hilarious and endearing that I pretty much want to 'grow up' to be the protagonist in Nier... the man is practically an older version of me the way it is, white hair and all. Heck, he's even making me strongly consider adopting a daughter in the distant future, although I fear being a single father in this world (especially for one such as myself) would only put undue stress on the poor child.

The mirror upsets me. I'd remove it if it didn't extend my field of depth; without it there is simply a wall 46cm from where I sit. Hopefully I can deal with that, as glancing up and seeing the face of a stranger in it each time is infinitely more traumatic than a slight provocation of my claustrophobic tendencies.

Klonoa lit up my childhood with a brilliant dream. Sonic Adventure introduced me to the love of my life. Pokemon was a source of unending friendship and inspiration. Now, Nier is not only helping me literally be a better man, but I feel it's going to have an incredibly deep impact on me as a person the deeper I tread.
Why can't people understand this? Why can't they realize that the means are no barrier to the glorious ends such dreams can bless us with?

Geez. I'd speak more, but frankly I've been channeling Grimoire Weiss' speech pattern all evening, and as awesome as that is, it's also draining... plus my grandmother will be furious if I don't get some sleep.
Ah well. I've managed to shake the dust off myself, and last night's shift was incredibly interesting... who knows? Maybe I'll even get to see my boss again.

Either way, it's better than lingering in this world.