blue shadows and bomber jackets

[prismaticbleed]

 
I've never been able to make up my mind as to whether I like or dislike computers.
On one hand, they allow me to compose music, record thoughts, create art, find knowledge, meet other souls... they're a window to the minds of individuals across the world who I would have otherwise never met.
On the other hand... they replace my reality with their own.
 
I was walking across campus today, my Celebi plush swinging on my bookbag, when I realized that I wasn't paying attention. I was mindlessly trudging through the frost-tinted air without even thinking about that cold sting on my eyelids.
I was looking down.
 
See, we tend to take reality for granted nowadays, what with our constant connection to technology. We're often either talking into our cell phones, chilling to our iPods, driving through Liberty City on our PSPs or wondering what tonight's episode of House is going to be like. It's pretty ridiculous if you think about it.
The point is, though, that in doing so, we forget what else there is around us.
I realized that as I was walking. I was thinking about what music I'd have to write next, when I happened to look up and catch a glimpse of the skyline on a nearby mountain... the firefly-like sparkles of a distant city. Walking with my eyes glued to the sidewalk, my thoughts on FL Studio, I would never have seen it.
 
I guess that's my challenge to all of you this week, as well as to myself.
Just... take a break from all the wires and circuitboards, okay? Take out the earbuds and just listen to the world for a while. Take in the voices around you, the sounds you don't regularly notice.
The clunking of the keyboard, the ambient rush of 20 computer towers, the low hum of the lights and the faraway snaps of doors from the hallway... just making yourself concentrate on those outside sounds immediately heightens your awareness of the world beyond the pixels.
 
I also honestly think about the colors...the sandy pink walls, the stoic black monitors, the bright red of my bookbag. We take them for granted too.
Walking outside, the stunning contrast of the deep blue shadows against the orange streetlights took my breath away. Forget HD television; you just can't get that sort of experience on liquid crystal.
 
One of my LG*Girls, Tiffany, has the 'power of the senses'. Not fire, not time, not sound... she just uses the 5 senses. It may sound mediocre at first, but when you think about it, it has a ton of potential.
How often do we pay attention to those sense of ours? How often do we feel the texture of the sidewalks under our sneakers, of the keys under our fingertips? How often do we notice the scent of a winter night? When we sit back with a mint tea or what have you, do we just chug it down or do we actually enjoy it?
People are born blind, deaf, dumb... they never get to experience what we do.
Will we only truly treasure what we once had when we wake up one day and it's suddenly gone?
 
It's hilarious, in a sad way. It really is. I'm so guilty of rushing through the day, not paying attention to anything but my schedule and the deadlines baring their fangs at me. It would only have taken a second to really appreciate the beauty of the hillsides as I drove past them, but no; my eyes were on automatic as my mind spun with worries. We pull into our driveways at the end of the day without even remembering how we got there.
We rush through classes, through workdays, through holidays, barely giving a thought to how blessed we are to have an education... a job... a family... we kiss our children good night and take their freckles for granted.
Parents buy their kids computers for their seventh birthdays and they don't even get to enjoy their childhood.
We're slowly becoming disconnected from our world, especially in the little ways, and that's sad.
 
 
As a kid, my favorite pastime (outside of drawing) was exploration.
Even today, there is nothing more exciting to me than finding something new... seeing it, feeling it, experiencing something I'd never experienced before.
I attended a music camp when I was about 11 years old, at a local university in Scranton. I would make excuses to go to the restroom during exercises so I could wander the halls alone, so I could sneak up the back stairwell and see what the elusive third floor looked like. I would skip the sidewalks and wander through the grassy lawns instead, laughing at the exhilaration of going against monotony.
In high school I still had the same need to wander. The best day of those 4 years, to me, remains the morning I forgot what room my health class was in, and instead spend an entire half hour walking through the hallways... just wandering past the lockers and staring out the windows with bright eyes.
Just two days ago, in this very building, I had a break between classes and took that as an opportunity to wander the bottom floor. I discovered a back stairwell with an extra set of downward stairs, and took it without a second thought-- suddenly finding myself in the creepiest laboratory section of a building I had ever seen. I'll tell you right now, unless you want to take the back doors or the elevator hidden around the corner, those stairs were the only way down! I ran back up them, but couldn't help but grin.
Look at that... something new.
 
Even now I'm surrounded by new things, right here in the empty computer lab. I had never even realized that the chairs were navy blue until today. How sad is that?
Being the only one in this little corner of the building right now... it's bliss, man. I'm free from biased expectations, free from the panic of deadlines, even if just for a little while.
I can't take that for granted either, though.
As soon as I walk through the kitchen doorway and into the familiar sounds of my home, I'll immediately be thrown back into the rush of day-to-day life... and that's okay. That's okay, because it needs to be done.
But for now, I have a little fragment of time, a little bubble of peace, all to myself. God's given me a break to just sit back, and He knows I needed it.
In a few minutes, I'll be back out under the shadowy treetops, walking up the hill and sneaking a glimpse of the empty art rooms through their glassy windows as I pass by. I'll start my car, listen to the engine rumble, and set off on my way through town for that 30-minute drive home...and I'll enjoy every second of it.
 
Sure, it's nice to be typing in silence at 6:30 in the evening, but if you'll excuse me, I'd rather be outside.