a prayer when frightened

[prismaticbleed]

 

God, when I am afraid and I run to You for help, please, help me to believe that You care and take my anxieties seriously. I'm so afraid you'll just brush me off and say "stop being so immature, it's no big deal." But I also fear that you might say "you should be afraid, you deserve it for what you've done!"
I know that's not Your Character. At least, I desperately hope it isn't.
Your Name is "Merciful", right? "Slow To Anger", "Rich In Compassion"? It's not "Fed Up With Your Stupidity."
God, show me Your Truth. Please ease my fears by replacing them with a total trust in You.
...Even when I'm terrified that I've made a deadly mistake, that I've done something so dumb or shortsighted it'll end with me in a hospital, PLEASE somehow soothe my frantic soul!! Please, if You aren't too disgusted with me to even listen, comfort me somehow. Don't mollycoddle or placate or shush me. Don't act like everything is fine and dandy. It's not. That's WHY I'm running scared to You. I just need to know that You won't abandon me to my own fatal foolishness with a cold "I told you so," with a hard "see? You never learn!", with a scathing "Serves you right."
Please save my worthless life. Please save my pitiful soul. Don't kill me just because I'm a moron. Don't refuse to comfort me just because my fears are idiotic.
I'm lost and confused and so so scared. Father, be with me, please!!
I beg this of You by the undeserved merits of Jesus Christ Your Son, Who came to this world to save wretched sinners like me. Please remember and show me Your Mercy. Amen.