tbhu weekly recovery recap 111024-111724

SUM UP THE WEEK:
Discharged from inpatient facility on Wednesday. Realizing on the drive home that outside the hospital reality was a lot more scary & difficult than we expected. Trying to readjust but struggling with legal issues that had built up during inpatient & the neverending tornado of family stress. Trying to focus on SYSTEM LOVE. Spent two sleepless nights feeling it more strongly than I have in months. Decorating the apartment. Adjusting to new diet. Struggling with crushing depression & intense fear.

LIST YOUR RECOVERY WINS HERE:
● ATE CRAB & CRAYFISH & SASHIMI & MARSHMALLOWS & LYCHEES & SUSHI!
● Still making sure we eat all our meals
● Spending time with mom & not being whiny or looking to escape
● JOURNALING BEGINS!

What are you most proud of yourself for this week? What situation did you handle well?
We went out for chinese food with mom & her boyfriend and WE DIDN'T LIMIT OURSELF OR PURGE. It was genuinely an enjoyable yet still challenging experience. We're also proud that we're still soldiering on in doggedly determined hope despite the very scary life situation. We're striving to improve every day & be patient in the waiting & work inbetween.

Which of your goals did you achieve? How did it benefit you?
We started running! We DID help mom up the house! We DID cut down on meal volume & stopped forcing foods that make us sick. We DID start to redecorate the apartment. And although we haven't bought Inside Out 2 yet we watched SO MUCH OF IT ON YOUTUBE. That LIT UP OUR HEART. So we're striving to keep good things in our life.

What could you do to make next week better?
● START BIKING & LIFTING WEIGHTS & DOING AB EXERCISES. We NEED to get our muscles back!
● LESS TIME ON THE PHONE. It's making us SO DEPRESSED.
● Read Scripture daily & do what you can to pray more & go to mass WITHOUT BEING SCRUPULOUS. Worship with LOVE, not forcing!
● DO LEAGUEWORK of ANY SORT. Just PLEASE GET BACK INTO IT!
● START ARCHIVING THE TBHU PAPERS & JOURNALS.
● SPEND MORE DAYTIME UPSTAIRS/ TALKING WITH THE SYSTEM. The REASON you've been SO DEPRESSED is because you've been DOING IT ALONE.

Rate how you found eating your meals & snacks every day. How could you make this easier next week?
2 / 5
PANIC HAS ALREADY SET IN over "what's right or wrong" now that we're not "just obeying orders." DON'T OVERCOMPLICATE IT!! Find what WORKS, that you LIKE, and STICK TO IT! NO LUXURIES/ NOVELTIES or "OBLIGATORY" BUYS. NO AFTERBITES! And DRINK WATER! ENJOY your meals!

Rate how you dealt with compensatory behaviors like purging or exercising this week. How could you make this easier next week?
1 / 5
We purged TWICE and threw out food ONCE, both due to PANIC & POOR SELF-CARE (hungry, tired). We also SLASHED our calories, which isn't bad EXCEPT that we're starting to obsess. We "ran" two miles EACH WAY with daily travel and if we're gonna BULK UP, we NEED to KEEP EATING. So DON'T DROP ANY LOWER. And KEEP IT ALL DOWN!!!

Average mood this week:
3 / 5

Average sleep quality this week:
1 / 5

Average anxiety level this week:
4.5 / 5

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TOP THREE THINGS I DID THIS WEEK:
1. DISCHARGED AT LAST
2. CHINESE with MOM & HER BF
3. Put ALL the TBHU notes from peers ON THE WALL

THIS WEEK I FELT:
HAPPY
NUMB
TEARFUL
SAD
TIRED
IN LOVE
WORRIED
SCARED
PLAYFUL
(ALL OVER THE PLACE)

MOST REWARDING INTERACTIONS I HAD THIS WEEK:
★ The last 48 hours on the unit, getting to hug virtually everyone & hearing their kind words of encouragement AND GRATITUDE for me.
★ FR. P'S FACE when he saw me + he HUGGED me too!
★ CHAOS 0, ANXIETY, & MIMIC ALL SETTING MY HEART ON FIRE
★ ANXI FRONTING to look at the moon in the rain
★ GENESIS GHOSTING

NEXT WEEK I WANT TO:
● BE GENUINELY HAPPY FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES. TAP INTO YOUR JOY.
● START WORKING OUT, even just with the phone app exercises & dumbbell
● DRAW SOMETHING. PLAY SOME MUSIC. WRITE SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL.
● Get our diet plan STREAMLINED in prep/ nutrition/ ingredients = CUT STRESS

THINGS I ACCOMPLISHED THIS WEEK:
● WENT BACK TO CHURCH
● Started loveposting again
● WROTE A JOURNAL ENTRY
● Saw ALL MY SIBLINGS
● LONGWOOD + PHILHARMONIC TICKETS FOR DECEMBER!
● STARTING TO RECONNECT WITH THE LEAGUE!

WHAT WAS THE BEST THING ABOUT THE WEEK?
The night of 1115, when we listened to Die With A Smile for HOURS and I was SO IN LOVE. I felt PURELY ALIVE & REAL. (CHAOS 0 AND ANXI SINGING IT TO ME TOGETHER ♥♥♥)

MY RANKING OF THE WEEK:
4 / 5