prismaticlove: reposts

“When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. In so far as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God and instead of God, I shall be moving towards the state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest at all. When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased.”

—C.S. Lewis

 

(122121)

For the blue guy.

I still love you, so much, no matter how many times I tried not to, afraid it was wrong to love anyone but God. Hence the radio silence of the past year. Little did I realize that, the more I grew in faith, the more I put God first and loved Him first, the more genuine and free and heartfelt my blessedly secondary love for you would become, too. It’s an overflow. There’s no more fear of abandonment, no possessive paranoia, no trauma-triggered anger and no running away in fear. Now that I’m learning how to truly love God, I’m learning how to truly love you, too. Its about time, honestly. You’ve always deserved so much more than I was ever able to give you before.

I want us to both grow together in faith. That’s what love is about, really. God is love, so if we’re in it, we’re in Him. That’s the litmus test; that’s the inevitable beauty.

I love God, and I love you. And I’ve never been happier.

18 years this Thursday and we’re still growing in love, in faith, together. Thank God for you. Thank you, God, for him.
 



(122121)

Every year, I dream of you, being here, physically. Every year.

I'll never stop dreaming. I'll leave the lights up. I love you no matter what.




For my beloved, because we were just talking about the ocean together, and this feels like you… most truly, where the light hits it.

To my ocean: I still love you. You are still important. Always, always.

You do the same for me.

(Karoliina Hellberg - Forget Me Nots, 2017)

For CZ, my blue angel, who I sincerely cannot forget.

(I’ll give you fields of tiny blue flowers in my head, each one of them a remembrance of love. But you and I both know, that even if I gave you every flower I could ever imagine, they could never compare to the worth and beauty of a single tiny blue moment, and the honesty of a pure heart unafraid with love.)

 

soft-tentacles:

Imagine:

It’s been a hard couple days, weeks, months. It’s gotten to the point where you just can’t get out of bed. Your tentacle monster f/o is there letting you know it’s ok. It’s ok to rest, it’s ok to take time for yourself, and it is certainly ok to have to call out of work/school and you should never feel guilty for having to prioritize yourself.

(120321)

 

I'm in the ER (again) since yesterday and the whole time I keep "going upstairs" to just rest in Chaos's arms. He is always there for me; he gets it. He's both deeply serene & deeply shaken, both river & ocean, tossed by moon & storm but also as still as a mirror. He knows both burnout and healing and his presence alone is the strongest reassurance-- an anchor that no guilt or shame for my sickness can ever disturb.

The hospital can help this body heal. But God knows that only love can heal my poor exhausted heart, and that's why this post is more vital now than ever. I mustn't only spend time in physical recovery. I must also spend time with my f/o-- my beloved, my other half. Without that connection, I'm lost. But it's there. He's there. I just need to be there, too.

 

astralselfships:  🌸 Not to be that person, but your F/O(s) always look at you and smile exactly when your gaze is fixed somewhere else, competently smitten, eyes drowned in pure admiration and bliss.
They look at you and remember why they do this <3

 

 

(2021)

...This isn't something that we think about that often, but it's true. It has happened; we have noticed this love. We just need to remember it, and the depth of significance in that small but precious fact.

(A reminder to our f/o’s that we smile at them with just as much admiration when they aren’t looking, either. But honestly, the best and most beautiful thing is when we finally do meet each other’s gaze, even by accident… and can't help but smile together, with an even deeper, brighter love. That shared moment, that unspoken pledge of affection, means the world.)

 

 

effervescent-t: window views from around the world

(~2020)

Heartspace.

Our innerworld bedroom-- Chaos 0 & I-- has a main window that always changes its view, depending on the state of my heart. When I'm feeling most at peace it's a wintry heaven of snow-buried conifers, the flakes still falling. But on nights when I'm feeling broken and desperately in need of love, it's basically the bottom right view here. Dawn over icy mountains, for me, but then the waters, still and beautiful, for him. It aches in the best way.

Top right, the gorgeous ocean days, are also centered on his heart over mine, and occur similarly on days when I'm just head over heels happy. Bottom left has been, surprisingly, occurring for the first time lately-- that pastoral loveliness of rolling green hills and quiet towns. Fog is also deeply resonant with my soul as a visual for gentle reassurance, hope even. So I'm still wondering what that, plus the bright green spring and sunrise glow, is communicating.

I've never had a view like the top left. I know why-- that particular elegant inner-city sunset, especially with that bed and balcony, belong to someone else. I've... never found her in heartspace, yet. One night I'm sure. But until then, that bittersweet beauty will remain hidden.

 

 

ordinarykeys: Sometimes you gotta provide your own content for your fav water boy.

(reblogging my original reblog because I STILL look at this photoset all the time)

Ohhhh my gosh I am falling in love all over again over this. ❤💙

LOOK AT HIM. ;_; This artist’s style is gorgeous and expressive and it fits him so well.

fffgghfsfhjfh honestly I am dying over the curves and lines and his eyes, the poses, the sincere & silly yet solemn personality, dude I like never see art of him that LOOKS like him to me, but geez, this DOES and I’m just– I’m legit just incoherently happy over this.‘Happy’ doesn’t quite capture the full emotion but it’s close. It’s significantly true.

Ah just thank you for this, I know it might sound odd coming from a random lass but this means a lot to me, to see this lovely art of this beloved blue guy, at this rough time in my life. God bless you and do keep drawing!

#the BEACH BABE TOP is killing me #dude you WOULD #i am having FEELINGS over this #chaos zero #love of my LIFE #brb gonna go kiss the blue bugman until we’re dizzy

 

pukhtanaukht: I just wanna sit by the sea and listen to the sound of waves

 

(~2019)

I still miss the ocean so much it aches. But I carry it in my heart even now. In a way, we all do… the sound of the waves when we press a seashell to our ear is really the sound of our heartbeat. And for me, that means more than I can put into words. It’s one and the same, one and the same, blood and tears and seawater. Depth and beauty and wonder and love. Let’s sit by each other and listen to all of it.

#for chaos 0 #I have so many FEELINGS about this #even so #i can hear his voice already #'are you flirting with me' #YES DARLING I AM

 

twellfth: If I lost my memories of you, I would just fall in love with you all over again.

(~2019)

This has been my heart’s prayer and song for over 15 years. Now, it is being put to the test in reality. If I forgot you, if I lost you, if I lost everything…“ has now become "I have lost you, I have forgotten you, and everything else.” And yet, to know something is lost, reveals a tremendous hope. Therefore my heart sings in that hope, like a bird waiting for dawn, like a dove with an olive branch. The floods of tragedy are receding. Somewhere, there is a garden, and God willing, I will meet you there… God willing, I will love you more than I ever have before.

I love you, you know.
It's like a star. You know it's always there,
Even when you can't find it in the night sky,
Even when I'm long gone.
So just remember when you're racing across the star, I'm always with you.
Even when you can't see me, I'm always with you.
I promised you forever after all.

(~2019)

The light of the stars we see is ancient. The stars that gave that light may have died ages ago, and the echo of their lives is only reaching us now, long after their end.

The light of the stars we don’t see is brand new. There are stars shining brilliantly today, in time, that we will never see. It is only after our end that their beginning will be visible.

But… in both these cases, there’s something of the romantic. Time and life and death, the temporal and the eternal, closeness and distance, presence and absence. I like to think– no, I firmly believe– that there are some forces that absolutely transcend these things, and that love is the crown jewel of them all, the source of everything else worth treasuring.

Love surpasses distance, and time, and nearness, and vision. When it is promised, nothing can hold it back, or hinder it, come what may. The stars can die, we can die, and yet that love is and it exists in time and in history and it is eternal. Wherever we go from here, forever is a reality, even if we can’t see it… but even now, no matter what state the stars are in, we can feel that vast paradoxical being of everything all around us, always.

I love you, you know.

The day is coming when I’ll look into that man’s eyes, my Doctor, and he won’t have the faintest idea who I am.

(~2019)

Straight to the heart.

This sentiment– all of these sentiments– have been like swords in my chest from day one of love. I saw that in Twelve and River and it struck me in a way it never had before, because now, I think that day is here, for me, in the wake of the collapse of everything.

But remember these two, too, even now. Tragedy could not crush love, or hope, or beauty, or truth. I pray the same is true for… for us, I’ll say it. For me, for you, for us. Deep down in my heart I can feel it is, against all odds. And yes, even if I forget, even if you forget, the heart remembers. Time remembers. And love never dies.