iscah meal log 052817

 

 

May. 28th, 2017 09:30 am = IN the victory of God's LOVE!!! ♥

Breakfast= a fresh fruit cup (2 grapes, 2 pineapple chunks, honeydew & cantaloupe), an English muffin, vanilla Ensure, vanilla soymilk, jasmine green tea, cream cheese, and a cheese omelette. Another blessed breakfast! ♥ The grapes tasted a LOT like raisins today, in their sweet-quality & slight tartness, but their water makes them LIGHT & BRIGHT despite that, and their skins add a unique wine-like (and colored!) different tart & bitter nip. The cantaloupe & honeydew BOTH have the same core sweetness? It's unique to melons-- a VERY round, VERY light & delicate sweetness, very water-based, AND they both have the same "firmer, fresher" cucumber-esque body texture in their waterier parts? Whereas, the deeper the color gets, the "thick-softer" the melon gets, and less watery (but not too much less). The honeydew stays crisper, though? It gets softer, sure, but NOT "denser" like the cantaloupe. And taste-wise, the honeydew does have a precious honey-esque delicate sweetness to it, a subtle but marked overtone to its milder, more neutral pale-moon-green taste, definitively "dewlike" in equally delicate wetness. The pineapple juice does alter it a bit, BUT it's an easily distinguishable separate taste, so it didn't register as a combo-- it's not meant to be one, here; it's just a sweet freshness preserver, and it does that perfectly. ♥ The cantaloupe's flavor is even rounder, fuller-- it's a less "light sweetness" & "flavor spread" than the honeydew, which is so delicate & "floaty-height" in its lightness that it's almost like a water crystal. The cantaloupe isn't "glassy" or clear at all; it's opaque, but pastel, and not "firm-hard" but NOT squishy, either! It's ALMOST like a "stress ball" in firmness, but not so resistant, and with a smooth & cool (but NOT glossy) surface texture-- no grain, but still so soft. Lovely stuff. ♥ I'll work on finding more specific words to describe such unique flavors-- BUT just remember, the ONLY reason I can even FIND words is that my HEART KNOWS, WITHOUT WORDS! ♥ And it only knows through the Grace of God, & prayer. ♥ As for the pineapple? It's NOT SOUR! It's sweet, but a BRIGHT yellow sweet-- not pale & mellow like apples & (extremely) bananas, not as sharp-vivid & acid as a lemon. It's buttercup yellow, but as FRUIT-- and that makes it "VIVID SWEET," a taste that peaches can aspire to, but which pineapples wear the crown of! ♥ And, like peaches, there is a very subtle tart undertone, but it's NOT sour. And their firm but "softening"-snap (?) fibers, tougher than a peach BUT (almost) just as easily giving, are such a cool texture. So yes, ALL the fruit is FINALLY 100% HEALED & LOVED! ♥ So next up is the stuff I have already greatly loved-- starting with the CREAM CHEESE! And guess what? It tastes ALMOST EXACTLY like sour cream. THAT was shocking!! BUT, being MORE cultured, it's FAR thicker, FAR less "milky," AND it's notably salty-- which means that, if you added back a little milkiness and removed a smidge of salt, it'd taste like the cottage cheese! ♥ (Which seems to vary in saltiness, as that IS added in preparation for BOTH). But I LOVE it; it's thick but NOT flowy like yogurt, and it's creamy in mouthfeel without becoming milky! Really, it's wonderful. And on the muffin, it's even BETTER! ♥ Its salty-sourcream-sweet taste & thickness is a beautiful complement of taste AND color to the pale brown, slightly sourdough-bitter, uniquely breadsweet taste of the muffin-- AND, guess what the MUFFIN resembles in texture? The BREAD PUDDING ENDS. Yes, it's THAT chewy-solid-soft gorgeousness, but just a bit doughier, and not so sweet OR golden in flavor-- it's neutral, the muffin-- but yes, same beloved texture. ♥ So yeah, its mouthfeel is LOVELY; not as light a floury-paste as rolls & bread, but not as dense as cake-- it's a beautiful, unique inbetween. ♥ And with the thick flow & salt & CULTURE of the cream cheese, anchored on that bittersweet wholeness? Dude it's even BETTER than the roll & butter, and THAT is QUITE a feat!!! ♥ Now, the cheese omelette is also salty, but from butter? The inner egg is soft & sweeter & eggy but NOT yolky (like scrambled; nor is it rubbery like them; omelettes have AIR whipped in!), BUT! The top is VISIBLY crisped golden brown!! So THAT adds a unique flavor touch, which in turn is PERFECT with the cheese's rich amber, sweet AND salty as well, and warmly colored! It mellows out the "browned" taste and makes the whole thing a beautiful matchup. ♥ I truly love it so, so much, every time. And lastly, our drinks! The jasmine tea tastes BEAUTIFULLY of flowers, heady & yet NOT "sinusy," all delicate white but elegant. It's beautiful; it's like drinking actual petals, like imbibing the lovely life of the woods and all its brilliant green & white flowers. ♥ AND I can recognize green TEA taste now, too! ♥ It's VERY close to black in the bitter-bit, but NOT so bitter-- it's lighter, cleaner-- greener! ♥ Just like its visual tone. Same with the soymilk! On its own it's SUPER vanilla-y; not quite like cake, as there's no butter, but nothing like white vanillas! But it's NOT "sugary." just sweet, and it DOES remind me of cake vanilla more than ANY other sort. BUT! Compared to a sip of Ensure? It tastes like the tofu! It's AMAZING how active contrast affects taste, it really is. But yes, the Ensure is STILL salty & NOT YELLOW in comparison, and it really has NO "exact" flavor comparison-- besides inexplicably reminding me of PUMPKIN PIE all of a sudden. Ah well, dinner will help clarify it! Until then, ALL praise & loving thanks be to God for this Good breakfast!! ♥

Lunch= a turkey chef salad w/ half an egg & swiss cheese (+ 3 grape tomatoes, 3 cucumber slices, and some julienned carrot & violet cabbage), golden Italian dressing, a dinner roll, a butter pat, cranberry juice, apple pie, chocolate Ensure, & salt & pepper. ALL through this meal, ONE gorgeous & beautiful True thought was on my mind & heart: "So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God." 1 Cor: 10:31. I adore that ENTIRE letter, and that constantly repeated sentiment IS MY LIFE AND TREATMENT GOAL-PURPOSE. "Conquer evil with Good." "Love is the fulfillment of the Law." "Whoever eats, eats for the Lord, since he gives thanks to God." AND, "Let us then pursue what leads to peace and to building up one another." SO! I FIRMLY resolve, with the help of God's Grace, to sin NO MORE through ED behavior, but to INSTEAD choose AND do ONLY THAT which will inspire my sisters to act, also, in LOVING, HARMONIOUS, GOD-PRAISING WAYS! And, it's NOT "ME" who accomplishes this work, but GOD HIMSELF, able TO use me IF I conform my life TO HIM as a living sacrifice. So! I WILL eat EVERY GOOD as such from this moment on, for Him and through Him!! ♥ And step 1 is: SEE and PRAISE and THANK Him in EVERYTHING. And I did that at this lunch! ♥ I ate EVERYTHING properly, respectfully, & thankfully. Now, for descriptions by God's grace through Christ Jesus helping me: first, the salad! Lettuce & cucumbers have the same "base" green, BUT lettuce has a more SATURATED color-taste, OF that lighter green? And the cucumber has that SUPER unique, mellow-bitter DARK GREEN skin! The carrots are sweeter in little strips than as whole bits, probably due to oxidizing, too!-- and the cabbage has SUCH a unique taste (not as "radish-biting" as I thought!) AND texture-- slightly "rubbery" but crisp & cool! And the tomatoes are FIRMER than grapes, with firmer skin, and more juice but also less-jelly insides? AND, they DO have the same base 'tartness,' but their sweetness is NOTABLY of the 'vegetable' sort. I wonder what the specific cause of that is! I'll find out in time & study. ♥ As for the dressing? I DO love it!! ♥ Ignore any lies that say otherwise! It is mostly vinegar-taste, which is a TOTALLY unique acidity-- I compared data!-- but it also has the smoothing affect of soy oil, the sweet kiss of sugar, and the other little flavor additions of spices-- which I sadly forgot to check! Ah well. Vinegar DOES taste sharp amber-yellow anyhow, but this one IS mellowed wonderfully by the oil & sugar-- and, as always, it's GREAT as a unitive & zip-lifter on the salad! ♥ The swiss cheese is NOT salty-- it's milky & creamy but with that slight mold-bitter bit, and there's a SLIGHT hard-firm "skin" to the top of it? And in mouthfeel, it's SO smooth, but "fuller" than yogurt, thicker in density; it's not sticky like the orange kinds, OR as soft as the cream & cottage cheeses. I legit LOVE IT now. ♥ The egg tastes SUPER DIFFERENT when compared to the archetypal "eggy" taste it has when scrambled or omelette-d or otherwise added to other foods, which MIGHT have to do with the fact that THIS one was cooked with the SHELL ON!! The yolk is still dry in taste & "mouthgrip," turning surprisingly dense but supersoft in mouthfeel, tone that duller yellow... but the whites? Their taste, like this, is... intuitively feminine? I have NO words to describe it, other than "it TASTES like you'd expect something with an EGG'S FUNCTION (birth!) to taste!" It's GOOD, honestly; it's a little humbling, even, in that awe-recognition... it's just SO unique. I'll continue to enrich data for it, especially tomorrow. ♥ And the TURKEY tastes a LOT like chicken, but it's saltier, moister, pinker, AND closer in texture to the TENDERS-- it's super soft, almost falling apart when you cut it! AND? When you add pepper and a tad of table salt, it DOES taste a lot like the sausage-- just brighter with water, and minus the darker oil-heat tastes! But yeah, LEGIT similarity. That was cool. ♥ Next? The chocolate Ensure tastes like OVALTINE, essentially!! It IS that salted edge tone! I'll compare it further on Tuesday-- tonight I gotta put SOLID LOVE (through God!) back into the vanilla trio! So pray for the softness & openness of my heart, in Him. ♥
But for now, lastly we have the apple pie & cranberry juice-- the apple in the juice is similar to the apples in the pie (which STILL have a GREENISH crisp-water-tint!! pie apples ARE firmer than softer, sweeter yellow ones!) due to the added cranberry tartness, BUT! The filling-syrup is SWEET with corn-syrup warn-tone AND CINNAMON!! ♥ And the crust is SOFTER than the PopTart, and more "floury" in taste, BUT really close! Its mouthfeel is also softer, AND it's lovely with the filling, all united & golden-brown & sweet. ♥ Lastly? Butter on the roll top DOES warm its "burnt brown" to a gentler taste, BUT we'll get better data on that on Tuesday or Friday-- for now, I just savored that last bite, all cream & salt & sweet doughy-dense dinner roll. ♥ It's so precious, that single bite... God's blessings abound even in the tiniest things. ♥

3PM Snack= for further healing of (lying!) "hesitant avoidance" AND boosting of friendly solidarity, I chose a chocolate chip NuGo! ♥ And although eating in such close social quarters is TERRIFYING yet... the bar was/ is innocent! And I was thankful for her, and I enjoyed her chocolate-crisp sweetness as much as I could muster. ♥ I'll carry her with me.

Dinner= GOD BLESS SALMON SUNDAY!!! ♥ And God also bless the broccoli, baked potato, butter pat, vanilla Magic Cup, vanilla soymilk, and vanilla Ensure! ♥ EVERY SINGLE BIT of this meal was LOVED & CHERISHED. ♥ And that was 100% THANKS TO GOD!!! ♥ Seriously, in light of how MOST Sunday dinners have been shockingly minimally documented in these journals, and how my empathy-worry had me worried about THIS dinner specifically, I legit prayed ALL AFTERNOON for God's help & healing, in not only the meal itself but ALSO the emotional struggles & distorted thought processes that LED to such concern... and, mercifully, beautifully, He LISTENED... and He RESPONDED with more sheer love & peace & blessings than I EVER could have imagined. But God is like that. ♥ Infinite, ineffably, heart-burstingly jubilant & miraculous GOOD, eternally. ♥ And so!! This Sunday dinner was a FITTING "Sunday dinner," (again) thank God! I started with the beloved vanilla trio-- and yes, it is ALL beloved!! ESPECIALLY the Magic Cup-- which had briefly become a "hesitation," unfortunately tied to regrets, BUT!! God breaks ALL shackles!!! ♥ And now the MC is FREE in love once again-- and THANK GOD, because not only is their texture STILL absolutely divine-- thicker than pudding, heavier than cream, and similar in base mouthfeel to my dear Yoplait-- it tastes like LEGIT BOSTON CREME. I KID YOU NOT, it's WONDERFUL. ♥ And the soymilk, as always, was a lovely mild cake-vanilla tofu-neutral flavor, contrasting the Ensure's thick, comforting neutral-tone sweetness? There's something really nice about the "latte-tone vanilla" taste it has-- and which, still, I can't compare to ANYTHING but the bread pudding and maybe actual non-french vanilla pudding and MAYBE a Borders chai latte (no surprise)... but! Time will tell! For now, the TRUE victory is that ALL THERE of 'em have SOLID ACCESSIBLE DATA now, for taste, tone, AND texture. ♥ So now I can focus on anchoring in the OTHER Ensures! ♥ Next up today was the BAKED POTATO. And today, it was harder on one half, so there was BONUS comparison data! First, butter on the potato is actually very calm a taste! The butter IS still mellow-rich and yellow-warm with salt-glow & creamy oil tones, but, unlike the "lighter, playful" tone of the sweeter dinner roll, although STILL gentle, the potato is EARTHY and so the butter acts on that grounding anchor like... an inner glow? It STAYS earthed, but now there's this strong yet serene luminance around it. It's lovely. As for the potato itself, there's a vague "greenish" tinge-tone to the harder bits? Likely due to "non-cooked" freshness; living plant foods often have green or blue tones to 'em-- unsurprisingly! They aren't "farinaceous" like the potato salad ones, though: red little potatoes have different data! Brown ones have earth-tasting skins, thin but richly textured, and "stiff-starchy" insides? ESPECIALLY that harder half; the knife struggled to split it, despite the potato's dry-moist texture making it "fall apart" when you tried to cut the white part further But it was lovely, all of it. ♥ It has a much more neutral flavor & drier texture & stiffer mouthfeel than the fries/ squares, even with the butter, but again-- totally loveable as-is, and I did. ♥ And that BROCCOLI!! The stems were soft-firm-- two of 'em softer & yellow-greener than usual, like the soup ones!-- and sweet and wet & lovely, but those TOPS!! They were so beautifully BUTTERY!! ♥ Oh man, did I ever savor THOSE! Also, I think the tops DO have a slight dark green taste tone? It's hard to tell with the uplifting-warming tone butter/ salt glow! But we will, in time. ♥ Now, lastly, and most blessedly today... our beloved Sunday salmon. And today, for the FIRST TIME, I actually GOT DATA FOR IT!!! ♥ It's NOT fishy-- it actually tastes really similar to CHICKEN?? Similar texture, too! But it does have that fishy fall-to-chunks-when-you-cut-it quality; unlike land meat, which is denser & tends to stay in one piece (UNLESS it's really moist)-- fish, being moist AND differently structured, is easily pulled apart! Which is cool. And that particular "salmon pink" color has a LOVELY taste-- it's sweeter but also a tad heavier than chicken? And there IS a very vague "fish" tone deep down, now that I think about it, BUT it's more noticeable on the grayer parts.

8PM Snack= two bags of plain Sun Chips and one bag of DORITOS!!! It's about time I locked in their healing, too, after all. ♥