just another afternoon

 

 

 

 

All right, first off, let me link you to this entry. That experience is noteworthy enough that it needs to be elaborated upon as soon as possible, but the other events today have basically made a Friday night Xanga session inevitable, so you can expect to see all that and more discussed tomorrow evening.
Secondly, let me also link you to this entry! That one is also important to read in light of how "out of character" I've been lately; it's a rather disorienting example of just how far out I am right now, so to speak. I haven't given that entry as much attention as it obviously deserves yet, but I promise you, that's my main concern for tomorrow, in light of the first entry I linked here.
Thirdly, we're making lots of awesome progress over at our system Tumblr, so feel free to check it out. I completely revamped the layout so it works much better for such a purpose (we can actually put a sidebar description now). I'm in the process of writing up a FAQ, but honestly, the first thing I want to do is draw some simple art for our "biography" pages. I haven't drawn anything in a very long time, and I think that's a perfect way to start again.

Lastly, and the reason why I'm actually updating, is because my mother told me (at 8PM) to cook a ton of vegetables for her in the kitchen, and since the kitchen is dissociative hell, Infinitii showed up to try and keep me stable. I kept slipping though, and at one point where I was literally talking to him upstairs while my body did something else, he got a very stern look on his face, started to "grow" in size around his wings, and said "Jewel, snap out of it." There was a shocking amount of power in the statement, and it worked; it scared whatever was "driving" enough for it to stop dead, and I was able to get a grip on the situation. We talked for a little while, until at one point I randomly commented that I hadn't been drinking enough water lately. I wondered how Waldorf was taking it (she's very affected by dehydration), so Infi and I went to go check on her. She said her throat was a little rough, but it had "onset quickly" and would likely pass just as soon. Sometime during this conversation Laurie showed up, though-- since this afternoon especially (Julie and I had a very important talk... that will be discussed tomorrow) she's been keeping an eye on me. I forget exactly how events played out here but at some point she started chiding me for something I had been morbidly thinking about earlier: I was wondering if I would ever become so detached from headspace, and so problematic, that Chaos wouldn't be able to deal with me anymore and would actually call me out for being a "bad father." Laurie said that was total bullshit (Infinitii agreed), before adding that Xenophon should be my #1 proof that I wasn't. I tried to say otherwise, but she reminded me that Xennie's love was unconditional, and I should keep that in mind. Right about then, I felt an odd tugging at my mind, and with a knowing smirk Laurie concluded that Xennie should still be awake (it was almost 9PM); why didn't we call her in for a bit? Almost instantaneously Xenophon warped into our vicinity and gave me an adorably enthusiastic hug. What remaining dregs I had of a low mood were instantly washed away, and I wholeheartedly dived into the joyous vibrancy she was radiating.
The next hour was spent in brilliant hilarity, as we were enjoying each other's company so much that we just joked around while I simply waited for the vegetables to finish cooking. The infamous "dead-beet" injoke resurfaced with a bang: I threw in a few green beans to steam with them at the end, and since we were already making color jokes, this happened:
(Wally) So if the beets are counting as purple, what color would the beans be, are they still just green?
(Me) *starts rapping "Green and Purple" by Kritikal*
(Laurie) So are you saying we're gonna get high off these freakin' beans or what?
And I know Xenophon actually made a "deadbeat" comment about that which had Laurie cracking up, but for the life of me I don't remember what it was exactly. Personally I'm still snickering about what happened when I was trying to put away the potatoes we had cooked later: I decided to mash them with the skins and for whatever reason Xenophon decided that this meant they were "awesome potatoes." This happened:
(Me) I should actually label them as that, in the fridge.
(Laurie) Geez, can you imagine if we all lived together? Someone looks in our fridge and is all, "what the heck does 'awesome potatoes' mean?"
(Me) And I'd just say, "what do you think it means?"
(Wally) While rubbing your hands together, like an evil genius.
(Me) Heheh, yes, this was my plan all along!
(Laurie) You're just sitting in a chair in another room, watching them rack their brains over these freakin' potatoes, laughing like a madman.
(Me) And if they get it wrong, then I release the hounds. But the hounds are actually potatoes.
(Xenophon) That's what awesome potatoes means!!
(Laurie) This is what I get for letting you three get high on beans, isn't it.
We all continued teasing Laurie about this whole thing until she was laughing right along with us, it was brilliant. I haven't had such a great night in a while, despite us having literally done nothing but crack jokes together. I miss that though. Just spending time with them for any reason is enough to lift my spirits right through the roof, no matter what the rest of the day was like. I think I am literally going to set aside at least one, if not two, hours every single day just to go upstairs and talk/ chill out/ whatever. Just watch, my overall physiological health will start to improve faster than ever. I will put money on it, that's how confident I am in their love.


I have Last.fm on my shuffle radio right now, and "River" by Civil Twilight just came on. I'm smiling very widely as a result, because Chaos immediately started singing along upstairs. Not only that, but the lyrics are peacefully relevant as always, counseling and inviting all the same.
I need to spend more time with Chaos soon. I owe him one, for how unreachable I've been lately.

As for now, I have an exam tomorrow morning and I really need to get some sleep before now and then.