cumulonimbus

"Why do you still fear thunderstorms?" they asked.
Because I fear that they will destroy me somehow, I admitted. As a child I feared that they would raze my home to the ground, leave me without family or shelter. That fear still lingered now.
"What good will fear do about that?"
Nothing, I realized. The fear would only lower my vibration. It wouldn't change anything, it would only deny the present reality. I needed to accept the thunderstorm, then take action to protect myself against it. No fear!
"Protect what, though?"
Protect my life... but the other unconscious thoughts were there too. 'Protect my belongings' still hovered there, something ultimately unnecessary.
"To truly prepare for catastrophe, you only need to let go."
Let go... and ride the waves. Dancing through the waves of life, remember?

"If anything, you should rejoice in this thunderstorm," they said to me.
"Didn't these storm clouds swirl about him in the past? Doesn't this lightning flash within her?"
I looked up at the sky, my eyes and heart both open.

The light and the dark alike are both parts of the dance.
Stop judging. Stop labeling, stop trying to be 'right.'
That thunderstorm? It simply is. It isn't 'good' or 'bad.' It is part of the dance, and in it you can see the reflections of both sides.
The lightning, the brazen electricity, to burn away the old to leave room for the new... to illuminate dark places even if the light seems harsh. A mysterious ionizing bolt, uniquely harnessed in our everyday lives, quieted but always potent. See how it lights up the sky, a flash of violet strength!
And then the rain, torrential, but life-giving all the same. Water, pure and cold in the scorching heat, brought to us in the guise of dark and dismal skies. Too much, and the floods come, great liquid fires at our feet. Yet even when it pours, I run out to stand in it, braving the winds and jagged streaks above, if only to feel it sting my skin for a moment.
And are not the winds holy too? As everything is... how I feared the wind as a child. How it whipped the trees about, how it beat against the walls of my home. But it, too, was simply being. It was not malicious at all, even when it knocked over power lines. That same wind was a necessary force of life.

But what did I fear? Death?
No... something even simpler. I still feared destruction.
How ironic.

"Do you not love him?"
they asked.

I do.
But maybe I didn't love him as truly as I could, I wondered, as I watched the skies churn above my head.
Hadn't we discussed this countless times? Didn't I secretly adore that fact, that truth about him?
The 'god of destruction,' a force of unavoidable change, the dark and formidable part of the vital dance?
Yet he held so much light, so much of the other side. And so it was even in me, in everything. Harmony, balance, equilibrium... unity.

"You must accept these same forces within you... you must accept and love this within yourself, in order to accept and love it without: in him, in this, in all of life. Then you will no longer fear the storms."

Do not avoid it, accept it. Don't judge it, don't label it as this or that.
Running, escaping, denying, all complicate and worsen the situation. Fear is not the answer. Only love is.
Face these situations with the 'mindset of a Master'... peaceful, courageous, undisturbed.
Be grateful for the knowledge you have, for the awareness you have reached, but never forget that there is no end. There is no final step, no 'prize' to be won, no reason to boast or compare or compete.
Keep moving forward, in the innocent but wise trust of your heart.
This is not about 'feeling good,' and you know it. This is about keeping your mind clear and your heart tranquil, even in the midst of chaos.
No capitalization there, but if there was, the meaning would be even more clear, don't you think?..

At times like this, I'm completely humbled and astounded by just how much guidance I've received, and continue to receive.

I think further words will only be superfluous.
I learned so much today, as always, and tomorrow I will continue to learn, if only I keep my heart and mind open.

Things may become difficult, but don't lose faith. Stand strong, even against the rain and wind and lightning, if that is indeed where you must stand.
Don't ever forget what lives and breathes beyond and within all of it, that eternal force that forms all things, yin and yang, dark and light.
It is that One Heart, the undying love of the universe, that you must never forget.

You have been given a responsibility. No one else will do this for you. They can give advice, but this is your journey, your test.
Remember that you need to 'clean out the junk' before you can take another step sometimes.
(Thank Laurie for that, too... her tough love helped save you from so much heartache now. And so it continues, with many others as well!)
This is a great time to be alive, even if it seems overwhelming. It is an honor. Be grateful for this opportunity.
Open up. Have faith, be compassionate, and don't be afraid.