prismaticbleed | iscah meal log 061617 (Reply)

Jun. 16th, 2017 09:30 am = Welcome back to life, dear Amanda. ♥

Breakfast= a bacon egg & cheese muffin, an orange, orange juice, apple cinnamon chai, an apple cinnamon nutrigrain bar, vanilla soymilk, and vanilla VHC. And guess what? I ate the orange LAST... and the BECM first!! ♥ Compulsions have been conquered! AND I put a LOT of effort into really paying attention-- which, as Laurie unsurprisingly has already been pushing me to do, is essentially ANCHORED in COMPREHENSIVE, DESCRIPTIVE EXPERIENCE. It's easy to stay totally conscious during meals, now, but it's like... a bare minimum awareness, no matter HOW genuine it is, because it's not PART of what it's aware of! So, actually, that shows that there's a different sort of dissociation going on... AND, on that note, God has therefore just handed me a HUGE opportunity to USE MY "TAUREAN CURSE" FOR THE GREATER GOOD AT LAST!!! ♥ It's a typically-condemning cliched assumption about Taurus folks that we are rather preoccupied with the "physical"; that we are effectively addicted to materialism, to sensuality, to luxury & comfort. All of that is a DISTORTION! Why? Because it's VICIOUS, and ALL vicious things are inherently empty & finite. VIRTUE is real and infinite, for it comes from the Heart of God, and ONLY GOD is eternal & real! Therefore, the question we must ask is: what virtuous qualities do Taureans have that could be so twisted into those vicious lies?

Lunch= MEAL SESSION SURPRISE!!! ♥ We went to Red Oak, which is a local diner that specializes in vegan/ vegetarian foods, and which also supports local farmers! It's a sweet & cozy little place that still feels professional & clean. Their menu offers deli sandwiches, fancy salads, vegan wraps, vegetarian sandwiches, breakfast burritos, "egg scrambles," PANCAKES, and-- on Fridays-- fish tacos! They also have fresh vegetable/ fruit juices, vegan cheese & tofu options, and a bunch of other stuff that I've forgotten but which was undoubtedly fantastic. I had quite a few exchanges to meet, so it was QUITE the interesting challenge in having to order a PREMADE, FIXED-INGREDIENT thing that would STILL meet all my exchanges, without going overboard with volume OR "extra exchanges." Honestly? It was FUN! It was almost like a game, to be amusedly honest-- like combining cooking cards in Baten Kaitos during a battle! You gotta do what you need to do with the hand that you're dealt! And you know me... I LOVE CHALLENGES. I DO! And do you know why? Because THIS is the ACTUAL definition of a challenge: "a demand for an explanation or justification; an order to halt and be identified; a formal objection to the qualifications of a juror or jury." Face your fears & anxieties & doubts & put-downs, and CHALLENGE THEM!!! Demand that they explain themselves-- demand that JUSTICE be truly honored! STOP those vices in their tracks and ORDER them to identify themselves in Truth-- do you serve GOD, the Lord of Life & Love-- do you serve Christ, or not? Object to ALL the false, empty judgments of fear & disorder, and point them out as UNFIT TO JUDGE-- directing that honor solely to GOD! So yes. I LOVE challenges, because by their very definition, they DEMAND INTEGRITY. And integrity, too, is a Gift of Grace, a holy thing of God... and ALL such things ALSO bear the Spirit's fruit. REMEMBER THAT!!! It is key! Integrity will ALWAYS include kindness, peace, self-control, charity, faith... joy. If you challenge something that compromises integrity, you have to make sure that you're doing so WITH the FRUITS of it-- for true virtues ALL serve God, IN THE SPIRIT. If your challenge isn't rooted in faith & Love, then YOU need to be "challenged!" And that, too, is why I love 'em. So on THAT note, our Loving challenges for our first MS were: an "egg scramble" with bacon, brussels sprouts, sunflower seeds, grape tomatoes, & provolone cheese; a juice smoothie with beet, celery, lemon, carrot, & ginger; a buttermilk pancake with dried cranberries; a deli pickle; AND a legit Starbucks caramel machiatto with vanilla, nutmeg, & cinnamon (thanks, Angela! ♥)-- oh yes, AND two slices of toasted sourdough with butter; and "home fried" potatoes! Yeah, it was a big order, but it was BEAUTIFUL. ♥ The sourdough was delicious and SO nice with melted butter, & the potatoes were in big thick "pyramid cube" pieces, SOFT and yet solid, and nicely browned! The pickle was a bonus gift from Nikki-- thank you dear-- and of course, deli pickles are always nice, soft & sweetly sour & mild. Nice stuff! The egg scramble was BOSS. The grape tomatoes were WARM & richly fresh-red, looking uncooked in how colorful & alive they were/ tasted! And the bacon was the harder, crispier, browner kind-- like bacon "bits," not the lovely soft mauve strips from breakfast, and thicker too-- but it was QUITE good, ESPECIALLY considering that it was covered in melted provolone cheese! I REALLY like provolone, guys. It's NICE. Still learning the solid taste data, though! ♥ Also? You ALL know I love brussels sprouts-- these were no exception, lightly sauteed & chopped up warm-- but they ALSO were paired with those sunflower seeds, which I once loved dearly but which, due to the disorder of the past, had awful misplaced guilt-sadness-fear projected onto it, making them a "fear food." But I ate them and I liked them, and my heart is warming up to them again, and I just need to dive into forgiveness and LOVE them with blazingly courageous Love. To heck with fear; it's all a lie-- I WANT to Love & befriend those precious, innocent, GOD-CREATED seeds, and I WILL. Just like I Loved the corn back to perfect friendship & health. I WILL Love the seeds the same... AND the cranberries, which ARE delicious & kind & sweet, and who were actually helped IMMENSELY in their healing by the fact that they were part of the BEST PANCAKE I HAVE EATEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. ♥ Duh; it was a BUTTERMILK pancake, and you know me!! ♥ The more culture, the better. (I should be a chemist, at this point!) But yes, as I thought-- I DO have this food-artistry down to a science at this point-- they were the PERFECT taste & color complement TO the fluffy, amber-white-gold sweet softness and WARMTH and crisp edges of that gorgeously thick pancake! ♥ It was legit HEAVENLY. ♥ Add buttermilk pancakes to my go-to breakfast food option list! I'm actually excited at the idea-- I'm sure I could tweak the recipe to give them MORE of a "buttermilk" taste, specifically that "soured" flavor... heck, I should look into "foreign" pancake recipes, see if you can make them with really sour yogurt or something, too; there are so many beautiful possibilities and I'm so joyously looking forward to experiencing them, with true joy, which-- as I've been saying-- can ONLY come from GOD.

3PM Snack= a mint chocolate NuGo bar, because they're too chocolatey to prudently eat every 8PM, but they are really lovely, and I love 'em. ♥ I spent snack today not only enjoying its minty-chocolate-crispy-smooth goodness, but also talking to my dear friends Patricia, Angela, & Heather about our shared journeys in this healing process. "Lift each other up!" It gives hope & courage & solidarity & compassion, and I am so grateful to have met them. ♥

Dinner= SELF SELECT #8-- and, fittingly, we've come full circle. Today, our final SS, was a revisit to the initial joy of our first. (unfinished) (no 8PM snack entry)

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MEAL SESSION 061617 = Jun. 16th, 2017 11:30 am / meal session goals! ♥ #1 (LUNCH) ~FRIDAY 0616~ ★RED OAK★ (1) D | (2) FR | (3) S | (3) P | (3) F | ★
1) 1 buttermilk pancake w/ dried cranberries (1S) 2) 1 egg scramble w/ bacon, provolone, brussels sprouts, tomato, & sunflower seeds (3P 2F 1D) 3) 2 slices sourdough toast w/ butter (2S 1F) 4) 1 svg potatoes (1S) 5) 1 beet/ carrot/ lemon/ ginger/ celery juice smoothie; 360mL (1FR)
6) 1 pickle (~V) 7) 1 Starbucks caramel macchiato w/ vanilla, cinnamon, & nutmeg; 360mL (-)
GUESS WHO'S NOW A DIEHARD FAN OF BUTTERMILK PANCAKES? ♥ You all know that I am
(left unfinished)