prismaticbleed | iscah meal log 061317 (Reply)

Jun. 13th, 2017 09:30 am = last night was beautiful.

Breakfast= oatmeal, raisins, brown sugar, strawberry yogurt, a strawberry pop tart, honey peach tea, vanilla soymilk, and vanilla VHC. I had another VHC increase today, too, so now there's even more to love, aha. Seriously! It's good stuff, and I honestly really enjoy the flavor, especially with that unique "blue" vitaminy taste and heavy mouthfeel! Also, today I as beginning to grasp some deeper level of its taste? So that's exciting! I look forward to my other two experiences of it today. ♥ And that dear soymilk, dude, it's getting clearer too-- which was helped by the fact that it was warmer this morning-- thanks to my heating it on the oatmeal, of course. Ingenuity! But yeah, I have to thank God PROFOUNDLY for this new & deeper awareness... especially since our head is quite "fuzzy" from what feels like a pressure headache (sinuses? lack of sleep? no clue) and the fatigued dissociation that follows both that and too much fast-pace mental stimulation early in the morning... which is mostly due to worry over clothes, to be blunt. Too much needless anxiety, too little appreciative joy! But prayer heals. Prayer helps. And as always, we prayed both for and over this meal, and lo and behold, God answered that prayer in a way NONE of us could have expected! ♥ It's like... EVERYTHING tastes richer & realer today, in gorgeous victory over the pain & dissociation, proclaiming God's power & wonder & love in all circumstances! But yeah-- the soymilk isn't creamy, it's smooth; its sweetness isn't sharp whatsoever, but a gentle "mellow" taste, even and soft, NOT vivid like the Magic Cup or sparkle-clear like white vanilla; and that soy taste is getting fuller, too-- I'm beginning to notice the similarity in this soymilk AND the veggie burger, deep down-- and maybe even the NuGos, too, although that's trickier with all the rice. But I'm GETTING it!! ♥ God is, in paradoxically amazing blessing, clarifying our comprehension despite physical "obstacle." But God conquers ALL. In His eyes, obstacles disappear! ♥ That's the very essence of Hope-- knowing that God CAN do ANYTHING, no matter what... and then trusting whatever He does, whenever He does it. I do have that much faith in Him. We do. Always, no matter what-- His Trustworthiness isn't just self-evident to us; it's been PROVED, beyond all doubt, so many times over the years, not just in little lovely outward things that still hold HUGE deep meaning... but also, in US. What God has wrought THROUGH the League & the Soectrum is absolute eternal proof of God and His Goodness, and my heart-- OUR hearts-- will sing His Loving Praises forever, humbled by reverent "fearful" awe, but also bursting with joyous grateful adoration. Nothing is insignificant, for ALL comes from God and is FOR God... even breakfast! And it really is full of His wonder. The tea has a lovely "bitter floral" nip from the white(!) tea; I like it a lot! And the peach/ honey essence is very subtle, more of a tone than a taste, but I CAN "taste" it in my heart-- peach like a blossom scent, honey like the heart of it, no sugar in either. It's FASCINATING how the "no sugar" shift affects their tastes-- so different, and yet still recognizable! ♥ Speaking of taste affectation, I really took time to admire the VISUAL data of the yogurt today-- and I NEVER REALIZED how HUGELY VITAL that is to really fully experiencing & comprehending & grasping the data!! I can easily tell you about the "plush" mouthfeel, thicker than the VHC in a "solid" sense (gelatin touch!) but super close in any case... I can tell you about the not-sugary, dessert tint strawberry taste, about the cultured quality of the milk, about the lovely firm-soft giving squish of the strawberry bits with their little seeds... BUT. I can't fully "get it" by taste alone, by touch alone-- I also have to smell AND SEE IT!! And that makes a WORLD of difference! You wanna know what yogurt tastes & feels like? Take a LOOK at that texture! It's BEAUTIFUL-- thick & creamy but NOT "cream-smooth"; the cultured quality is VISIBLE and gives it a particular "gelatin" hold-together look? Words can't quite describe it yet, but I can SEE it, and my visual memory is FAMOUSLY SOLID at its core. So this is a HUGE STRENGTH I can use!! ♥ Also, seeing the color of the strawberry bits-- they lean cerise? A VIVID raspberry-ish hue, in the tint-tone of the yogurt, a solid non-leaning pink-- was also awesomely helpful. Same with the PopTart in comparison! I have to see that TO eat it, hence its clear data in the past, but its biscuit-color deepens when heated, and the filling richens in its bright red hue, AND it gets GUMMY. It is BOSS. Chewing it is the coolest thing; the mouthfeel is much thicker as a result but its not heavy! I love it. ♥ I ALSO love the oatmeal & sugar & raisins, more than ever today, because I LOOKED at it, too, and SAW the VHC-added creamy hue & texture, all beautiful flowing BUT still holding the oatmeal's porridge-like little soft lumps, such a joy to eat, AND the raisins wrapped up in all of it, looking more purple than ever against that warm-leaning but gentle-tint brown color, covering them lightly and mellowing their sweetness but emphasizing their lovely plum-hue tartness AND complementing it beautifully with BOTH the wholesome oat taste AND the warmly kind brown-tone sweetness of the VHC AND the brown sugar-- which, when heated AND moistened, ALSO becomes not just a darker golden-hued deep neutral-ish brown but also mellow, losing the sharp sugar-crystal bite and becoming more like syrup? It's something I do need to pay more attention to, and I will, either here or at home. I promise. With God's help, I WILL continue to live IN and FOR His Love, at ALL times. ♥

Lunch= hey kids, guess what's up today? SELF-SELECT, THAT'S WHAT!!! ♥ That's right, we are BACK IN BUSINESS and we're taking the blessing like a champ!! We waited patiently and worked hard to get to this point, and we are dedicated to doing our VERY BEST. We went to the 4th floor today, so choices were very limited, BUT we were able to both make it work AND challenge ourself! And now we know the proper exchanges AND expected behavior for Self Select in general, too, thanks to Beth! So we're TOTALLY prepared now for tomorrow night, and we're very much looking forward to it. ♥ Also, we had to sacrifice the pizza AND chocolate cake today, BUT God knew what He was doing, as always. Today is Jessie's hardest lunch, so it's hard for us to eat the pizza when she's struggling-- that heavy empathy can be a flaw, because instead of setting a "fearless example"... actually? No, it's NOT a flaw, because we FELT and UNDERSTOOD her fear, but we ALSO knew that both she AND the food were INNOCENT... and so we chose LOVE, and in the face OF fear, we ate it with as much sincere, contrite, forgiving, devoted, determined, courageous Love as we could muster. And so, today, God let US have OUR challenge-- a large spinach salad w/ mushroom, broccoli, & cucumber; Caesar salad dressing; mayonnaise; shredded cheddar cheese; an apple; sunflower seeds; cheddar & sour cream Ruffles chips; a dinner roll; and cajun pasta fresca. The first seven listed ingredients were ALL combined-- only the roll & pasta-- and one mayonnaise packet-- were eaten separately. But yeah, salad is a perfect way to condense!

Dinner= chicken w/ skin & gravy, bread stuffing w/ celery, pepper, a sweet potato souffle, a chocolate magic cup, chocolate milk, and vanilla VHC. I am sorry to say I was HIGHLY "foggy-brained" this evening, probably due to mental exhaustion-- but I did my best. Even when I'm unstable, so to speak, I'm still conscious. Our heart still beats. We still Love with every ounce of honest strength we have. And this dinner was still so loved, as much as we could muster... and God met us there with infinitely more as always, in faith. ♥ The chocolate milk & magic cup were rather cold, but I think we're at a point where dairy chocolate isn't "scary" anymore? Because there was NONE at this meal! ♥ I forgot to put the milk in a cup, but even from the carton, I enjoyed its sugar-milk-cocoa taste, purely simple & childlike, and now fully holding its native hue's gentle comfort, too! The chocolate milk is a very neutral brown tint, which is typical of dairy chocolate-- but the magic cup leans warm, like ACTUAL "milk chocolate!" It has a milk core tone to it still, though, so that inherent neutral base is still evident, but that bit of lean to a richer chocolate is, too-- although, obviously, it's easier to taste when the MC itself is warm! But even so, it was lovely, too-- I'm always a fan of the texture, and its thick mouthfeel. It's really good stuff! I'll have to do a triple-MC night later this week, perhaps Thursday. We'll see! For now, next up is the VHC. I didn't quite compare it to anything today-- since I messed up with the cups and I was pressed for time with the MC being cold & therefore tougher to eat quickly, and not wanting to risk eating it last, what with the proper way to pace meals like this (faster stuff first, longer stuff last to take all the remaining time freely & enjoyingly)-- but as always, I loved it. That vitaminy taste is so nice, and the texture mouthfeel is SO unique-- it stays thickly creamy but it ALSO gets this unique flow like yogurt does?? It's so hard to describe! I'll try to find the right words for it AS I experience it tomorrow, I promise. That, or I'll find a comparison data memory! Until then, though. let's move on to the main course and ITS beloved textures-- that cushy, squishy-solid bread stuffing, that savory gravy that always gets that totally boss "skin" on it as it cools, that CHICKEN and its literal skin, AND my sweet little souffle, literally so in two different ways, with the nicest texture of this whole meal-- and that's QUITE a feat! Because to begin, that stuffing is DELICIOUS. It's so wonderfully flavored with gravy, but it's "soft-clumped" into big bready bits and it's not really "wet?" It's spongy soft? But no bounce or resistance-- just a cushy-thick bready density. It has SUCH a lovely mouthfeel as a result, too-- it's a total joy to taste and chew. The gravy, too, is super nice-- it's not watery, nor is it gelly-like, but it's a "thickened" semi-creamy but not cream-like sort of flow? Like how oatmeal has that fluidy starchy wetness to it, almost. Either way, it's great, it perfectly complements the stuffing AND the chicken with its amber-golden-tone and surprisingly "tint-like" quality? It's not saturated-- there's a sort of milky tiny to it, color-wise, just barely? I think! Maybe I'm mistaken; I didn't get the best look at it and I apologize. But yes, it tastes of chicken fat & starch & salt & CELERY, all little soup-flavored cooked-yellowgreen lovely crunch-crisp bits, and I love it. As for the chicken itself? It's QUITE pink, which is surprising, but which is tasteable in its juicier, somewhat sweeter tone, "meatier" taste, and softer texture! And that quality also somehow perfectly matches up with the chicken skin, white & fatty against the meat and cooked-crisp golden brown on top, and tasting richly of chicken-soup flavor, essentially. Skin has a particular taste of its own, though, which I admittedly didn't grasp well enough to describe today, due to my own distracted head-blur AND the other patients voicing their disdain for it-- again, understandable in the disorder-- BUT, because of that, my heart DID still sincerely respond, "well I love it," and so it did. ♥ You know what else we love? The sweet potato souffle! ♥ That, too, got complained about by others in the past, but for us, it was love at first bite!! ♥ It, too, has a "skin" like the gravy gets, probably from eggs, but its skin is bouncier & firmer and sticks together like skin on pumpkin pie AND on the VHC-oatmeal this morning-- I still can't get over how cool that was!! ♥ But as if that wasn't lovely enough, the inside is like a sweet potato pie-- densely soft & softly "sticky" without being sticky... as smooth as ever but with SUCH a heavy, beautiful, thick mouthfeel. I need to spend more time with it next week, if I'm here-- with ALL of this meal, because I really do treasure it so. ♥ Thank You God!! ♥

8PM Snack= three bags of salsa Sun Chips because I miss 'em and they're lovely. ♥ That particular "warm" taste & tone (and, I swear, temperature) of the Sun Chips is always so nice and soothing, and that tomato-&-cheese salsa sweet kick on these is fantastic, heat without spiciness! Well, not the "burny" sort, at least. But yes, I love 'em-- and Psyche REALLY helps in eating them, as he's not ashamed of crumbs or crunching! He's just too full of pure affection & gentle strength & solid integrity. Learn from him, dude! ♥

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SELF SELECT 061317 = Jun. 13th, 2017 11:30 am = #5 (LUNCH) ~TUESDAY 0613~ (1) D | (1) FR | (3) S | (3) P | (3) F | (1) CS | (~)V
1) A large spinach salad w/ mushroom, cucmber, & broccoli (~V) 2) 1/4 cup cheddar cheese shreds (1D) 3) 3 tbsp Caesar salad dressing (3F) 4) 1 tsp sunflower seeds (~F) 5) 4 packets mayonnaise (2F) 6) 1 dinner roll (1S) 7) 1 apple (1FR) 8) 1 bag cheddar & sour cream Ruffle chips (1CS)
9) 1 1/2 cups cajun pasta fresca (3P 2S) 10) 480mL decaf black tea (-)
Pasta is a LOT easier to eat when you cut it up tiny, put mayo in it, and use a spoon! I put the apple, chips, & cheese in the salad again, plus the mayo, dressings, & seeds-- it was SUPER good, but I think the dressing was a little TOO potent! Next time I make a cheddar salad, let's try a milder dressing! The pasta was LOVELY, too-- it had melted cheese & stewed tomatoes and it was SPICY! By the way, those chips were BOSS. I ate the dinner roll with the VHC as I was short on time, but it was really sweet that way-- in both senses! ♥
But yes, this meal was lovely. ♥ Just take your time, and LOVE it!! ♥new friends!= caesar salad dressing, Ruffles chips