iscah meal log 060417

[prismaticbleed]

Jun. 4th, 2017 09:30 am = welcome, L'quie! ♥

Breakfast= a fresh fruit cup (pineapple, cantaloupe, honeydew, and THREE grapes today), vanilla VHC, vanilla soymilk, cinnamon tea, CREAM CHEESE, an english muffin, and a cheese omelette! ♥ This is SUCH a good breakfast, honestly. ♥ And GUESS WHAT ELSE?? I WAS TOTALLY CONSCIOUSLY PRESENT FOR IT! ♥ Well, maybe not totally-- I am still human, and I'm still healing, BUT I CAN say for sure that EVERY MOMENT and EVERY BITE of this meal was lovingly treasured. ♥ And THAT'S what matters, even if I did dissociate a little here & there. I didn't STAY dissociated! I STAYED HERE! ♥ Which is especially awesome today because this is ONE HECK OF A BREAKFAST! ♥ I was happily surprised by the triple grapes-- they're so sweetly tart and their texture/ mouthfeel is so interesting, especially with that little wine-bitter accent of the skin. The pineapple was a tad browned in spots today but that made it even SWEETER and honestly every time I eat it, it becomes FREER and more dear to me. ♥ Thank God! Same with the melons, too-- my memory of them is quickly & joyfully becoming TOTALLY CURRENT, defined by the love & joy of my NEW LIFE, and my total existence in the NOW, in the blessed, ever-brightening Present, unfettered & unhindered by the past. So yes, that unusually "frosted glass"-vibe of the delicate, super-clear tasting sweet honeydew, and the summer-soft "pastel milk glass" oddly "cushy" texture and happy-cool fresh lightness of the cantaloupe, are as nice & noticeable as ever, and they are ALL my friends now! ♥ So is that blissful CINNAMON TEA, which I had the last packet of today, and didn't mix as a result-- I wanted to savor its precious spice taste on its own, and I sure did! ♥ It's so WARM and "glowy-brown," like the embers in a fireplace. It's lovely. In equally lovely similarity we have the VHC, not so heavy-warm but instead heavy-thick, and much lighter in tone but still comforting-- more like a light blanket in the autumn than an ember in winter! And the vanilla soymilk is even more different-- it's a more "late spring" taste, actually? That happy, just-beginning-to-warm-up, sunny but still nicely cool, Easter season sweetness & lightness is honestly what the soymilk reminds me of the most. New beginnings, and their delicately sweet but ebullient light, full of hope for the gloriously gentle, indomitably blissful dawn. You know, it always amazes me how everything is part of everything. Food isn't an island, nor is anything else, and that is SO IMPORTANT to remember, because it can apply for good or ill-- and a heart can change it in an instant. But the heart isn't an island, either. Deep down, EVERYTHING is God's, so a heart is, by design, naturally inclined to see the Good-- the glimmer of GOD-- in everything. Taste, color, sound, touch, smell, emotion, memory... everything plays on everything else. So an Easter sunrise's vibe CAN be reflected in the taste of vanilla soymilk, and the feel of warmth against a sweet autumn chill can ALSO be reflected in the flavor & texture of the VHC, of all things... it ALL comes from the heart, which sees the All in all, and which was made to Love just as infinitely & unconditionally & globally. But even without such memory resonances, like in the case of new experiences, the heart still has Love, and every unique heart ALSO has its own unique resonance, which-- unsurprisingly & beautifully-- resonates with the uniqueness of certain bits of Creation that are harmonious to its own in some way... sounds, smells, touches, tastes. Each heart has its own special fondnesses that it can find, and as far as food goes, two of mine are in this meal-- that beloved english muffin, and that cheese omelette!! And of course I LOVE cream cheese, but this thought discovery is so new, I can't tell if it really "vibes" with ME yet? I think it does, but I'm not sure HOW, same with the omelette, and THAT'S what I'm curious about! BUT, the cream cheese's thick but soft, salty but subtly sweet, cultured taste... the omelette's fluffy & light egg texture & tastes, its hint of salt & oil/ butter, and the cheese's warm umami glow... and the E.M.'s uniquely sweet fermented-dough taste & fluff-chewy texture... ALL of that is ALWAYS so dear to my heart. ♥

3PM Snack= a mint chocolate NuGo bar, which I ate in 10 minutes and thoroughly enjoyed. ♥ The minty flavor in that smooth chocolate (it IS in the candy part!!) is truly lovely, and the internal crisps have a salty touch to them PLUS a DIFFERENT chocolate tone-- it's warmer, browner, & lighter, and (unsurprisingly) reminds me of rice crispies a little, I think? I'll work on it, and I look forward to it! ♥

Lunch= Self-Select #3!! To make up for yesterday's hesitation, I SUPER-challenged myself today by going up to the deli BY MYSELF and telling the lovely lady HOW I WANTED A SANDWICH MADE. So I was assertive, decisive, daring, courteous, and challenging ED behaviors all at once!! ♥ And this is the best part= I didn't get one sandwich. I got TWO HALVES! ♥ So I DOUBLE-CHALLENGED the lovely new food options! The first half-sandwich was: deli rye bread (seeded) with salami, cheddar cheese, mayonnaise, parmesan, lettuce & tomato, and a deli pickle. I NEVER REALIZED SALAMI WAS SO GOOD!! ♥ Especially with the mayo! And the cheddar, oh wow. You thought orange AMERICAN tasted that color? Boy howdy, cheddar is WAY orange!! (The savory hue-tone, obviously!) I LOVE it-- and its rich flavor was the perfect complement to the salami's unique salt-smooth, kielbasi-like flavor. A bit like pepperoni, too! And adding parmesan to the mayo was genius; that different cheese taste (yellow-white, a bit salty, but mild despite its powerful taste) was SUPER good with those also-strong but never-overwhelming flavors. Altogether, it was BEAUTIFUL-- a surprise for such a simple-seeming ingredient combo! And as for half-sandwich #2: it was multi-grain whole wheat bread, chicken salad, swiss cheese, and the same lettuce/ tomato/ mayo/ parm combo as the other, plus bonus pickle. And I have one thing to say about it: WOW. ♥ !! I had to rush a little as we were short on time, but oh my goodness. It was divine. To think I was nervous about trying chicken salad; I never knew what I was missing!! It wasn't salty or canned; it was fresh & bright & beauteous and had SUCH a nice chicken taste, plus that SWISS creamy-bitter unique taste anchored it SO well, and all between that super-hearty bread! It was legit one of the BEST sandwiches I've EVER had (wait until I make my OWN grilled cheese! ♥)!! I also got two bonus deli pickles with those, which I dipped in tartar sauce and thoroughly enjoyed as well. THEN I had a banana, a green apple, & baby carrots w/ ranch dressing-- they were ALL lovely! I also had some cocktail & barbecue sauce with the carrots-- the former was OK, the latter wasn't to my taste... so I DIDN'T EAT ALL OF IT. Now THAT was a challenge!! I didn't force it. I'll try to like it in the future, sure, BUT with its proper match! Food IS art, after all. ♥ And on that note, on a whim (but a good one) I dipped some of the apple in honey mustard-- and the flavors COMPLEMENTED each other! The mustard's sweet dull-bright amber yellow and the apple's sharp pale white-yellow matched already, but they ALSO BOTH have tart/ tangy sweet tastes! And they balanced each other out wonderfully. ♥ I also had decaf black tea, earl grey tea with BERGAMOT-- talk about a beautiful sophisticated taste!-- and hot chocolate cappuccino, which I ALSO added lowfat milk to, to legitimize the taste-- now THAT was a childhood memory punch for sure, but I drank it too fast (I was a little scared? of the chocolate and the memory? I'll have to heal it tomorrow or so ♥) so they didn't clarify. But in time, when we're ready, God'll let 'em out. ♥ You want to talk about LEGIT childhood joy-feeling, though? Then let me tell you about my much-anticipated challenge CS: a cotton candy mini sundae. It was pastel blue & pink with crunch sugar-wafer sprinkles, and it was SHEER BLISS. ♥ OH MY GOSH! I've been missing out big time!! Tell you what-- next amusement park I end up at, I'm stepping up this happy fearless childhood-openheart challenge of love & eating a LEGIT cotton candy puff-cloud. The whole thing. It'll be great, I promise. ♥ But yeah! That was today's lunch, and I have to THANK GOD WITH MY ENTIRE HEART for His Holy Spirit guiding me to make it, on this Holy Pentecost Sunday, because even though I'm honestly stuffed to capacity, I'm stuffed entirely with love & joy. ♥ God has blessed me so abundantly. Thank You. ♥

Dinner= a baked potato, a butter pat, steamed broccoli, a berry magic cup, and... wait for it... chocolate milk AND Sunday Salmon! How's THAT for a lovely surprise? ♥ They had one on my tray and, since I've been hesitant around it lately, I decided to heal it with Love and so I kept it, AND did so! ♥ The chocolate taste isn't heavy like I mistakenly assumed; it's surprisingly a sort of cocoa-sugar flavor?? It's actually NICE!! I'm legitimately becoming a fan of it, and thank God for that! ♥ It's also a lovely unique contrast to the vanilla VHC, with its heavy creamy consistence and vanilla taste-- BUT!! They're BOTH brown tones, and that similarity IS tasteable, which is SUPER COOL-- I'd need to compare them again to pinpoint it, because it's more subtle, but I treasure that sort of thing. ♥ There's also, oddly, some sort of similarity in the "milk" taste aspect, I think? Again, not sure! But I promise-- next chance I get, I WILL compare 'em-- and God willing I'll be able to compare 'em both WARM! Tastes are so much clearer that way! But even so, if they're cold, you all know I'll still love them totally. ♥ The butter & baked potato were also so nice. I'm really starting to like potatoes, you guys! ♥ I'm so happy. This one was a little "crumbly" in texture, and the butter kind of slid off a little, but I still loved it. It's just a bit tricky to chew the unbuttered drier potato BECAUSE it has such a starchy mouthfeel, and that stuff is dense! But still lovely, of course. I've just gotta do better with the butter next time! Anyhow, it DID at least allow me to enjoy a bit more butter on the broccoli, which was nice & firm & green today and DIDN'T have a lot on it to begin with- it usually sticks in the crowns anyway, of course. But I truly love that soft-steamed-sweetness, all special green hued, of the stems- that particular color seems to ONLY show up in lightly steamed broccoli? Lettuce wilts, and I don't think zucchini reacts quite the same flavor-wise (it's far whiter anyway, with dark green skin leanings)... but yeah, broccoli stems get VIVID and SWEET and it's BEAUTIFUL, really! The crowns, too, taste sweeter, but THEY get mushy, and since they're also dark green, their flavortone is inevitably very different as a whole-- it's something I DO recognize but it's still so new & unique that I don't have words for it yet... it's a subtle little thing, but what a wonder! And, honestly, it's very hard to really pinpoint here at COPE because the spinach is usually covered in dressing, the cucumber rind is so tiny, and the broccoli is buttered! Ah well. Like I said, I'll have tons of time in the future to learn more color tastes-- God willing, of course!-- and right now, my truest, deepest mission is to LOVE IT ALL no matter what! ♥ And I do. Broccoli is LOVELY with butter, dude, just like it's lovely with the cheese soup! Again, there's something in the particular flavortone of cruciferous vegetables that harmonizes VERY nicely with milk products? And specifically cheese, I think? Honestly, dude, they make cauliflower with cream sauce and brussels sprouts with cream of mushroom! But broccoli goes best with the cheese, I think-- oh, no wonder why. It's also a COLOR THING, duh! ♥ MORE beauty to learn in the future!! Honestly, I'm excited. OH-- and remember, it's COOKED cruciferous vegetables that work with it! Raw ones-- well, we'll find out what they love to play with in the future... maybe even at SS! ♥ For now, though, it's time for a totally across-the-spectrum-wheel color-- PINK! But let's start with the reddish-leaning tone of that SALMON. Oh man. It has SUCH a unique taste; it's surprisingly reminiscent of chicken?? But there IS a "fish" tone deep down, unmistakeable but NOT so river-potent-fresh as the cod! Salmon is heavier in tone, texture, and color-- it breaks very "messily," like tunafish looks in tuna salad? Little feathered bits, although you can still "slide" slabs of the meat apart into those clean divisions, though their "meaty" texture makes that prone to breaking apart, too. Like white meat chicken, but moister, and not so densely structured! Also, those herbs on top are a PERFECT color complement AND beautiful herbal flavor accent TO the fish, all white and literal "salmon pink!" In contrast, that Magic Cup was PURE PINK, like straight up Julie's new hair color, practically. No cerise lean! But it's so gently sweet, too; it's truly lovely. This whole meal was truly lovely! And I thank God that I was able TO love it so. ♥

8PM Snack= a berry magic cup (again ♥ ) and TWO pretzel NuGo bars! Doubling up really helps lock in the data, and it SURE DID-- these never clicked so clearly before! Their inner crisps are firmer & chewier than the other kinds? And the sea salt on the dark chocolate makes it uniquely seem WARMER in tone, like milk chocolate? It's so interesting! But yes-- the mouthfeel taste is LEGIT like an actual chocolate-covered pretzel. ♥ Now THAT is cool!!

 

 

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SELF SELECT 060417 = Jun. 4th, 2017 11:30 am / #3 ♥PENTECOST♥ (LUNCH) ~SUNDAY 0604~ ♥ = 16 ★ = 2 ✦ = 1 / (P) 3 | (2) S | (2) F | (2) FR | (1) D | (1) CS
♥1) Deli rye bread; 1 slice (1S) ♥2) Multi-grain whole wheat bread; 1 slice (1S) ♥3) Salami; 3 slices? (2P) ♥4) Cheddar cheese; 2 slices? (1P) ♥5) Swiss cheese; 2 slices (1D) ♥6) Chicken salad (1P 1F) ♥7) Lettuce & tomato; 4 each (~V) ♥8) Deli pickles; 2 (~V) ♥9) Baby carrots w/ ranch dressing (~V 1F) ♥10) Banana (1FR) ♥11) Green apple (1FR) ♥12) Cotton candy sundae; 180mL (1CS) ♥13) Mayonnaise; 4 packets (1F) ♥14) Honey mustard; 1 small tub (-) ✦15) Cocktail sauce; 1 packet (-) ★16) Tartar sauce; 1 packet (-) ♥17) Earl grey tea; 140mL (-) ★18) Hot chocolate cappuccino w/ milk; 120mL (-) ♥19) Decaf black tea; 240mL (-)
♥almost there!= whole milk, jello, kashi, cappuccino, decaf, tartar & cocktail sauce. ♥new friends!= rye bread. multigrain wheat bread, salami, cheddar, swiss, chicken salad, deli pickles, green apple, honey mustard, cotton candy sundae, earl grey tea w/ bergamot