prismaticbleed | iscah meal log 052717 (Reply)

May. 27th, 2017 09:30 am = trust God's Word in your HEART. ♥

Breakfast= oatmeal, raisins, a blueberry PopTart, a strawberry PopTart, vanilla soymilk, vanilla Ensure, and earl grey tea. The raisins taste a lot like grapes that, again, have been left out to get warm-- they start to soften& sweeten, and THAT taste is clear in the raisins-- BUT the raisins also still have that surprisingly tart undertone-- a red-violet taste? No... it's like a plum, like a banana heart; NOT an apricot or peach, NOT a sour apple... it's the tartness IN a red grape skin-- there's an inherent sweet-sugar tone to it! And THAT (red-violet) is effectively the color-- deep blue-purple-ish, but with a reddish glow? The BASE is CERISE!! THAT'S the taste of that tart-tone: the blush on a plum, the deep hue of raspberry! And, like those two fruits, there IS sweetness over it-- but ALL of a different color!! For raisins, that sweetness is the deep bluish-purple shade of figs & grapes & plum skins-- maybe even eggplant! It's a specific taste and I GET it, and that's what it is. ♥ Oh, and there's a similarity to brown-sweet, which I think ALL FRUITS can become with enough oxidation? And THAT'S the densely sweet taste, like in dates & dried figs & browned apples & plums & even grapes! We learn every day. ♥ ALSO! That super-sweet IS embraced & soothed out wider & beautifully by the oats! ♥ That gentle brown neutral base, as always, is a "grounding" anchor that decreases the sharpness of any overwhelming flavor-- just like the flour-biscuit part of the PopTarts! AND! Today I was shocked to find that they taste similar to the dinner roll?? I'm serious! It's almost the same light-doughy taste & kiss of salt, but with the subtlest white sugar lift. (I wonder if adding a nip of sugar to a roll would make it taste like a PopTart biscuit?) I really love it. The icing is PURE white-sugar sparkle, and that biscuit carries its clarity beautifully well-- the bright white against the calm brown is a perfect match-- but! The bright-colored, similarly bright-sweet filling is too sweet, once I eat most of the biscuit alone! Now I know; there are DIFFERENT sorts of unity, and I've been disrupting that one. Now that I can see so, AND appreciate their INTENDED symphonic interplay & cooperation-- yes, even PopTarts are songs! God is Present in ALL ITS PARTS too,remember!! ♥-- I CAN and WILL actively love & respect it AS a proper whole from now on. ♥ As for the filling, the data from last week is still legit! The blueberry is that happy-sweet-serene indigo-purple, and the strawberry is the same bright happy sweet red as the sundae syrup, but maybe a tad less tart? It's a tint lighter, I think, from the sugar crystals. Brighter, less 'heavy red.' But, as always, lovely. ♥ As for our morning vanillas? On their own, I keep trying to solidify the tastes-- soymilk all light & cake-sweet & tofu beneath, beautiful; and Ensure all thickly creamy with a neutral tone and vanilla-chai-esque taste that STILL evades solid description-- but, I must apologize from the bottom of my heart today, as I have NO data for either, or mixed. The enemy tried to hurt me during this meal, BUT! I reminded myself that he's a LIAR, and GOD HAS ALREADY WON. I survived, but I was wounded, and I have atoning-rehealing to do now... but I ALSO know that God IS using that FOR His Greater Good Glory AND the continuing growth in holiness of my soul-- because now, its "soil" has some Good fertilizer to strengthen those seeds of courage, patience, forgiveness, mercy, hope, faith, gratitude, wisdom, and many others! ♥ NOW I can more strongly put my healing heart light INTO PRACTICE!!! ♥ Through God's Grace, I will and CAN rise from this fearlessly, and painlessly, releasing ALL lies of anxiety & demon-forced bitterness, removing ALL those empty (!) obstacles placed between me & Love, the Love of God in AND for ALL His Creation-- which CANNOT BE STOPPED!!! ♥ And, oh, what awestruck blissful reverent humility I feel, what holy-fear and holy-love, to REALIZE and DECLARE that, ESPECIALLY in this Cope journey, GOD has CALLED ME TO TESTIFY TO THAT UNSTOPPABLE LOVE, by LIVING and SHOWING and FEELING that love FOR EVERYTHING "HURTING" HERE. Is there a food that has had ANY pain or fear or anger or distrust PROJECTED onto it by the evil one, by sin's false confusion? HEAL IT, THROUGH ACTIVELY RECOGNIZING AND HONORING AND LOVING GOD IN IT, THROUGH HIS LOVE IN ME! Mutual awareness of GOD, of His PERPETUAL, UNSHAKEABLE GOODNESS!!! ♥ And so I will, at EVERY meal, with His Grace, for His sake!!! ♥ THAT is my deepest purpose here. THAT is my REAL "treatment goal," one that will flourish infinitely IN/ THROUGH His infinite Love, until the day I die and eternally after. ♥ Now, before we close for now, the raisins & oatmeal together? True love. ♥ That wholesome humble oaty base embraces the sweetly tart-glow raisins SO perfectly! Next time, RESPECT that union and DON'T pick them out-- that's VERY unkind, to separate them after bringing them together! I wholeheartedly apologize; I love them and WILL show that more completely in my actions from now on. ♥ The oatmeal's soft-lump, slightly-sticky (without "sticking") creamy-but-porridgey texture is beautiful; I love every bite, every time. And that Earl Grey? Still as dashing as ever! ♥ I can't get over how cool that citrus-peel kick is. I gotta learn how to describe it better, for love's sake of conscious gratitude... and with time, I WILL! ♥ Promise!

Lunch= grilled chicken w/ lettuce & tomato on a wheat bun, broccoli cheese soup w/ carrots & onion, strawberry Ensure, and a strawberry syrup mini-sundae. I warmed up the sundae on the lid AND the soup, so I could eat it first, WITH the Ensure for comparison! The syrup is still the lovely rich-red sweet, slightly lighter than the Nutrigrain & slightly darker than the PopTart, and I swear-- if they could make raisin-like strawberries, they'd probably taste close! But the syrup tastes strongly of corn-syrup sugar, which is NOTABLY different than fruit sugar. I do love it though. And, the Ensure is NOT red, it's STILL pink in flavor, BUT!! Deep down, that flavor of "strawberry JEL syrup" is CLOSE? And, mixed with the purely white, cream-kissed sweet gentle flavor & texture of the ice cream, all soft & yet creamy in density, a tad thicker than the soymilk... mixed into that pinkish color itself-- though the Ensure has a SLIGHT lean towards blue, I think? But I KNOW it's not so saturated, either-- it's a dustier pink. And its sugar taste is different, too-- which, I assume, is from the LACK of tart? Not sure! I'd need to compare them again for data to stick-- plus, cold ice cream is hard to truly interpret! But if not Monday, we'll try again next weekend! ♥ As for the soup, I paid special attention to it, and guess what? It DOESN'T taste like sliced cheese! It's amber, like the burger kind, BUT it's not salty OR "fatty!" It's LIGHT, almost soymilk consistency? It's mostly milk, I'd say. It's nice! And, actually, that milky tone is EMPHASIZED by the heat! ♥ It's NOT salty, either-- which, again, is perfect, to not overpower the vegs. The carrot bits are surprisingly firm & fresh, and leaning vermilion in their saturated deep hue-- they're like CARROT SOUP color, AND taste, but a tad less heat-sweet! These STILL have a little but of fresh-bright watertone to 'em. The ONIONS have that sweeter 'cooked' flavor, though-- and it's hard to catch, as they're so sparse & tiny! But they're the PERFECT little flavor accent to ALL the other ingredients; onions are blessedly versatile like that, it seems. ♥ I'll have to make a list! As for the broccoli? There is an unmistakable flavor to broccoli cooked THAT much-- dimmed to a desaturated, chartreuse-leaning green (celery color??), and softened to have no remaining fiber-resistance, its texture in that regard something totally unique: same with the taste! I can't find any comparisons, and won't waste time trying-- suffice to say, it is beloved as-is, and my heart KNOWS its flavor, THROUGH loving attention. Sometimes, data has no words that can encapsule it. God's gifts are ALL tiny tastes of HIS indescribable Goodness, after all-- it's not surprising that, LITERALLY, if we had NO OTHER data TO describe things by/ with/ against, we would ALWAYS be rendered speechless-- literally AND metaphorically. ♥ AND, most importantly? That recognition DEMANDS that we pay CONSTANT LOVING ATTENTION in order to really "get" or "understand" ANYTHING-- because the SPIRIT (of GOD!!) is what understands-- and He speaks and listens BOTH through our HEARTS, NOT our HEADS!! So let THAT be our true "new" treatment goal/ purpose, too-- to eat IN SPIRIT, praying in & through Love for God TO give us the Grace TO do so... and then, to just surrender to His infinite wisdom & love & knowledge & joy! He MADE all this food, after all-- if ANYONE can get "clear data" on it, it's Him!! ♥ So stop trying so hard; stop worrying, stop being obsessive, let go... and let GOD. ♥ Simple as that! AND, ON THAT EXACT NOTE... WE HAVE A CHICKEN BUN. With vegetables! And it was BEAUTIFUL. Today, the WHOLE BUN was soft with heat & tomato moisture-- I put vegs on BOTH sides of the chicken!-- and that made it SO SWEET and good, actually getting mushy in some areas, which actually tasted GREAT-- it was MORE unitive, and easier to taste with the other ingredients-- sometimes the dryness can be overpowering IN its neutrality! But either way, it is ultimately perfect, as God orchestrated. ♥ The lettuce was BEAUTIFULLY green-tasting today, lifting up its cousin grains in the bun, and adding a unique complement to the sweet, white, juicy, fat & herb-kissed chicken... it WASN'T oily, OR salty, except at the fatty tips, and that mildness of taste SOARED with the herbs (their precious supportive purpose!) AND sang with the sweet, slightly peach-tart tomatoes-- SO well, it was gorgeous-- and THEY harmonized with their sister lettuce, AND lent their sweet song to the equally-harmonious bun, red & light brown & white & crisp green... all together? Oh, God made it SO GOOD!! ♥ A brightly colored, overflowingly beautiful, gorgeous little package of joyous Creation art. ♥ God bless it!!! ♥

3PM Snack= That's right, God has given me now a BONUS 15m opportunity to heal snack foods & love them ever more deeply, and His timing was, as always, PERFECT today-- because I had a BLUEBERRY POP TART!!! ♥ I TOLD you He'd bring utmost Good out of breakfast's stumble!!! All praise & Glory to HIM-- to the Lord of LOVE!! And SO I was able to love, again♥, this dear little treat back to healed embracing Wholeness. The sprinkles on top are a RAINBOW-- red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, pink-- and the filling is COLORED PURPLE!!! Like LEGIT purple, NOT bluish! I was surprised-- but it makes sense; that supersweet "burn" pushes it OUT of bluer tones towards the sweet of pink AND the zip of violet! But the taste fits, all crystal-berry goodness. ♥ OH-- and I DID eat it entire! However I had SOME biscuit alone, on the thick ends... and it tastes like the PIE CRUST. I kid you not!! It's just a little firmer, not "lard soft," but the flour-oil-salt-sugar taste core is the same! Thank You, God, for this gift! ♥

Dinner= breaded chicken tenders, french fries, strawberry yogurt, fig newtons, & vanilla Ensure. I went into this meal with a Eucharistic-love-full heart, and EVERY BITE was precious & loved. ♥ AND perfectly timed! Starting with the Newtons, I ate them complete, enjoying their lovely taste & feel as such... the little popping-crisp seeds, the sweet brown sugar-tart fruit taste, still hinting at deep purple in its heart, the flour softening its impact like an embrace and tasting a little like the poptart minus the salt, BUT with the SAME mouthfeel almost... I really enjoyed it. ♥ Maybe one day I'll compare it TO a PopTart at snack; clarify that further! But until then, its floury-fruitsweet data is lovely as is. OH!! I was ALSO mentally comparing its taste to RAISIN filling data, like in pastries-- there is a MARKED difference, but I can't quite describe it? The figs are a lighter hue, somehow, or something? There's a variation in the sour-sweet tone, slight but unmistakable when you catch it... oh boy, I can't wait to "get" that clarity in time. ♥ The joy of CLEAR discovery, of knowledge of such uniqueness, is really blissful. ♥ Speaking of! I had the strawberry yogurt for the first time in 3 weeks, and it is GORGEOUS!!! ♥ The texture is SO BEAUTIFUL I could legit cry from awe & gratitude-- it's FROTHY THICK in mouthfeel, AND CULTURED, and so delicately sweet-- NOT sugary!! It's the palest rosy pink, sprinkled with strawberry bright-red bits, AND actual fruit bits that TASTE LIKE LEGIT FRUIT, not the dessert kind!! I think the texture is because there's GELATIN in this one, too-- not just our versatile buddy corn starch! But yeah. It's so light & pure, in color & taste, but that TEXTURE...!!! It's straight-up a gift from God, 100%. I can't wait to try the peach again! ♥ I just wish we had MORE flavors to love here-- ah well; if we don't, I'll just love 'em later on. ♥ Promise. Just like I'll continue to love FRENCH FRIES & CHICKEN TENDERS because WOW DUDE, this dinner gets better EVERY week!! ♥ The fries DON'T taste like pierogi, or instant mashed potatoes, OR the baked potato-- THEY TASTE LIKE THE SAUTEED ONES! Well, without the paprika, obviously! But it's the EXACT TEXTURE, inside! And visually? It's REALLY cool-- almost looking like the crumbcake-texture? It's AIRY! And yet it has SUCH a gorgeous mouthfeel, especially with the oil that turns its outside golden and firm but NOT crispy-- the best fries BEND but don't break, and are STILL golden! But the little pointy-end hard fries are WONDERFUL, too-- they remind me, in their firm "giving" texture, of the stiff pierogi shells, just with an obviously different texture, all fried-tough but not "brittle"; hard in a little way, but soft under your teeth. And they're JUST a tad "salty," but it's such a natural saltiness, possibly from the oil maybe, that quite frankly I might even be mistaken! Maybe it's just that rich, buttery-gold oil taste that I'm confusing as salt. We'll check on Monday! ♥ But really, I did the "smile at the taste" thing with these fries, AND that yogurt... AND the chicken! ♥ They have MORE than pepper on them-- there's what looks like oregano? And POSSIBLY little red nips of chili powder/ pepper? Not sure! But they do have a lovely "heat" to them. AND. Their mouthfeel is DIVINE. ♥ The chicken is the same color & look as lunch, BUT! It's SO SOFT; it practically melts in your mouth. And that BREADING. MAN. It's texture is mainly oil-soft, moist but crisp on top, and wet where it meets the chicken-- it reminds me of BOTH the cod breading (but NOT salty, and NOT that mushy), and the stuffing on Tuesday (but, again, NOT salty or mushy OR sticky) in terms of that wet texture? OH-- but more than anything, it's like the MONDAY CHICKEN!! That breading is SUPER close, BUT! This one is differently spiced, and just a little "tougher" & crispier at the ends? It's more of a CRUMB breading; THAT summarizes it well! ♥ And it's not salty. I can't wait until Monday to compare the two again more clearly now, seriously! But back to that mouthfeel-- it's lovely. The chicken is SO soft that it practically merges with the breading-- unlike the burger at lunch, where their textures are too vastly different to meld so literally (but they aren't meant to-- THEIR beauty lies in their harmonizing IN that differentness! ♥). And texture-wise, it's not sticky like the stuffing, smoother than the roll, thicker than rice, but not farinaceous or as smooth as mashed potatoes... AND, its base feel is dry?? Like, FEEL wise, NOT literally?? If "dry" was a taste, this would be it-- BUT there is moisture in the breading AND chicken, making it so soft but NOT mushy or spongy! Dude I just LOVE this dinner. ♥ I gotta learn how to make my OWN fries & tenders when I'm on my own-- and try hard to actually make 'em TASTIER than these-- although I can't imagine how, considering how BLESSEDLY GOOD these always are! THANK YOU, GOD!!! ♥

Snack= two plain Sun Chips (my warm & wholesome miracle friends), and-- in loving solidarity with Carol-- a mint chocolate NuGo bar! ♥ It tasted beautiful; delicate but genuine mint over smooth-matte sweet chocolate AND beautifully cocoa-y, slightly salty crispy soy... I'm SO glad she enjoyed her first try, too. ♥